I’m a Portland Walker.

Well, more like a Portland commute walker.

I park about 10 minutes away from my office. What should be a nice, leisurely stroll to the office is more like a real-life game of Frogger. And the fault specifically lies with the motorists in this town.

A ridiculous number of drivers in Portland don’t acknowledge stop signs anymore. It’s an epidemic that needs to be discussed and eradicated.

My walk to the office includes five crosswalks. This includes the corridor of Middle Street that has three straight stop signs on the intersections with Exchange, Market, and Pearl.

My track record for acknowledging a car allowing me to go is a whopping 100%. Not that I need to brag. It literally takes zero effort. However, that effort is not reciprocated. And, quite frankly, if I didn’t pay attention, I would most certainly be dead or severely injured by now.

Drivers just simply roll through or cruise right by these stop signs. This has nearly become a daily occurrence. It’s not like these stop signs are new. It’s been years since they were installed. They are incredibly clear and visible. You have to be a neanderthal to miss them. Just a sheer dummy.

Sure, may you accidentally miss one (though, very unlikely). But more often than not, drivers just stroll right through two or three of them, and typically without a care in the world. I would find it more fascinating if my life wasn’t being put on the line every stinking day.

As for the stop sign rollers, you know, the ones who pretend to stop even though they don’t? Well, they are just jerks. God, forbid you wait 20 seconds while a walker crosses safely in front of you. Instead, you never stop your car, which intimidates a walker, and gives you the excuse to just keep going. Just pure class from humanity’s lowest life forms.

I decided to write this today, because I just need to protect myself as well as my fellow walking brethren. The human body doesn’t exactly bounce off a fender too nicely.

I plead with drivers to follow these steps.

1. Pay Attention – This is pretty self-explanatory.

2. Obey Traffic Laws and Right of Ways – You shouldn’t have a license if this is a problem for you.

3. Stop Means Stop – This really isn’t difficult.

4. Don’t Hit Walkers – Please don’t.

5. Go on Living Your Life – Have fun out there.

It’s amazing how easy it is to, you know, be a civil human being.

We are a broken society. However, it can be fixed. It might not be easy…just kidding, it’s super easy. Stop being jerks, obey traffic laws, and look out for one another.

I love Yosaku in Portland, Maine and just discovered this amazing feature.

I have been to public bathrooms in Maine for almost 40 years. I would say I have been in dozens throughout the state. Whether that be in a restaurant or public building, I’ve seen my share of restrooms and toilets. But I have never come across this.

What’s with the remote control near the toilet?

I will say this made me pause. Then I realized that this is a bidet. According to Forbes…

Bidets have faucets and running water that is meant to touch your body. They function more like a sink. While most people use a toilet normally then move over to a stand stand-alone bidet to wash-up, there are all-in-one toilet bidet systems that combine functionality.

So, the question remains: Did I use it?

I did not even remotely attempt to use this contraption as it was intended. I did however sit down and just do normal business.

What a surprise when I sat down! The seat cushion was not only soft but WARM! Not warm as in someone just got up warm. Oh no, warm as in it has a warming device. I was absolutely amazed. Not amazed that the technology exists, of course, it exists. But that the technology was at a restaurant. Here in the U.S., we go for the dry toilets. But bidets are the dominant cleaning method in places like France, Japan, Italy, and Portugal. According to Bidetsplus, in many Asian countries, you will find bidet attachments fixed to the toilet bowl in public restrooms and the same can be said in Western Europe. Ahhhh, this was a Japanese restaurant – Yosaku in Portland, Maine

I don’t know if I will ever get up the nerve to use it as intended, but I thoroughly enjoyed the option.

20 Restaurants Mainers Want to Bring Back

You can call it “girl dinner”, but I just call it delicious. Give me a charcuterie board and a glass of wine, and I will call it dinner any day of the week.

Don’t come at me with your “that is not a nutritious meal” hooplah. It covers all of the necessary food groups.

Of course the various meats are a great source of protein, the cheese is dairy, many boards come with pickled vegetables (so there are your veggies), and wine is made of grapes, so there’s your fruit. The next time you want a charcuterie board for dinner, you don’t have to feel an ounce of guilt about it. YOU’RE WELCOME!

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I love being a member of the Facebook Group “Seacoast Eats”, because it is nothing but good vibes. It is a place where locals raise up small businesses and praise the best eateries in our neck of the woods. If anyone posts a complaint or a disparaging comment about a local business, it is promptly taken down. It is simply not the place for that. Save your negative comments for the YELP review.

I discover so many restaurants through being a member of this group, and I just added another to my list: Board in Kittery, Maine!

Kayla Marie is a member of the group, and posted some amazing pics highlighting her experience at Board:

They have wine flights (I repeat, WINE FLIGHTS):

I know I just said that no one complains in this group. However, I did see someone in the comments voicing their displeasure that they give you TOO MUCH WINE in the flights. Griping over a generous pour. That’s a new one.

Here’s their rotating selection of meats and cheeses:

They also always have cheesy toast on the menu, but the flavor rotates. This one has mozzarella, tomato, pesto, basaltic drizzle, and bacon, and it belongs in my belly.

Have you been to this fine establishment? What Seacoast restaurant has the best charcuterie board in the game?