I’m a Portland Walker.

Well, more like a Portland commute walker.

I park about 10 minutes away from my office. What should be a nice, leisurely stroll to the office is more like a real-life game of Frogger. And the fault specifically lies with the motorists in this town.

A ridiculous number of drivers in Portland don’t acknowledge stop signs anymore. It’s an epidemic that needs to be discussed and eradicated.

My walk to the office includes five crosswalks. This includes the corridor of Middle Street that has three straight stop signs on the intersections with Exchange, Market, and Pearl.

My track record for acknowledging a car allowing me to go is a whopping 100%. Not that I need to brag. It literally takes zero effort. However, that effort is not reciprocated. And, quite frankly, if I didn’t pay attention, I would most certainly be dead or severely injured by now.

Drivers just simply roll through or cruise right by these stop signs. This has nearly become a daily occurrence. It’s not like these stop signs are new. It’s been years since they were installed. They are incredibly clear and visible. You have to be a neanderthal to miss them. Just a sheer dummy.

Sure, may you accidentally miss one (though, very unlikely). But more often than not, drivers just stroll right through two or three of them, and typically without a care in the world. I would find it more fascinating if my life wasn’t being put on the line every stinking day.

As for the stop sign rollers, you know, the ones who pretend to stop even though they don’t? Well, they are just jerks. God, forbid you wait 20 seconds while a walker crosses safely in front of you. Instead, you never stop your car, which intimidates a walker, and gives you the excuse to just keep going. Just pure class from humanity’s lowest life forms.

I decided to write this today, because I just need to protect myself as well as my fellow walking brethren. The human body doesn’t exactly bounce off a fender too nicely.

I plead with drivers to follow these steps.

1. Pay Attention – This is pretty self-explanatory.

2. Obey Traffic Laws and Right of Ways – You shouldn’t have a license if this is a problem for you.

3. Stop Means Stop – This really isn’t difficult.

4. Don’t Hit Walkers – Please don’t.

5. Go on Living Your Life – Have fun out there.

It’s amazing how easy it is to, you know, be a civil human being.

We are a broken society. However, it can be fixed. It might not be easy…just kidding, it’s super easy. Stop being jerks, obey traffic laws, and look out for one another.