A book came out some time ago about the five “love languages” that people have in relationships and the problems couples get into when they don’t speak the same ones.
The five languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
For example, some people feel most adored by being lavished with gifts, while others feel most loved when hearing positive words (affirmations) from a spouse. Honestly, it would seem like having some of all five in a relationship would be a good thing, though frankly, neither my husband nor I care about gifts.
Olof and I are mostly in sync on the love languages, except for the ones that neither of us speaks at all. Now that we’re retired, we get to spend lots of quality time together, a huge improvement from all those 80-hour weeks Olof worked when he would literally fall asleep at the dinner table. It’s very hard to have a conversation with someone face down in their linguine.
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And while he isn’t big on getting massages, he gives the greatest back rub ever.
I’m very good at giving words of affirmation. However, I don’t get as many back as I might like. Is this a guy thing? An engineer thing? Olof’s view of communication is that couples should be able to talk to each other about anything. So long, he adds, as you never actually do it.
He will never offer an opinion about anything personal unless asked. Nay, begged. No, implored. Actions, he maintains, speak louder than words.
OK, but as I’ve pointed out to him on more than a few occasions, sometimes words would come in really handy.
Inga loves her aviary, but cleaning it is no longer an option for her. (Inga)
For me, the acts of service are really high on my list. One such example: Olof has taken over cleaning our outdoor aviary, a job I had for two decades but am physically unable to do anymore. And it’s not the type of job you can hire out. The aviary cage is built into our back porch and requires a lot of shoveling bird poop and seed hulls, then laying down fresh newspaper, which will be coated with more bird poop and more seed pretty much instantly.
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After he retired, Olof graciously also took over cleaning the dishes, though I think it might have been more self-defense than an act of love. I’m not the worst housekeeper in the world, although it has been suggested I’m a contender. (Was he a single working carpooling Cub Scout-leading parent for 12 years??? I think not.)
As happy as I am not to be doing dishes after all these years, he runs the dishwasher practically empty. It makes me nuts.
“Inga,” I have to say to myself. “Step away from the dishwasher! The man is doing the dishes. If he wants to run it with two friggin’ forks, let him!”
So I’d like to amend the “acts of service” love language to say “providing acts of service as the previous service provider would have done them.” Is this too much to ask?
There is no question Olof and I have very different styles of doing things. My biggest love language is action. If I see something that needs attention, or is pointed out to me by my husband, I’m on it. No time like the present!
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It is definitely not Olof’s idea of a love language, however. Olof has a different word for this love language: “nagging.” If I point out something to him that he needs to take care of that I can’t do myself, it goes on a list where it generally languishes until it dies of old age (or I hire a handyman to do it).
Olof is clear that he hates being nagged worse than just about anything.
I have tried to explain over the years that there is an amazingly simple solution to nagging: Just do what you were asked to do! Maybe even this week! You’re retired! You have time!
I confess I’ve had malevolent moments when he’s asked me to make copies of financial documents for him (the printer-copier is on my desk) and I’m tempted to let them languish instead of making the copies right away. If he should ask, my fantasy is to smile brightly and announce, “It’s on my list!”
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, escalation of hostilities is never a good approach to problem resolution.
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I guess the ultimate love language might be accepting the person you’re married to with all their quirks, including running an empty dishwasher that wastes a ton of water and reduces the life of the machine by a decade.
But every week, when I see him out there mucking out the bird cage, I feel loved. Really, really loved.
Inga’s lighthearted looks at life appear regularly in the La Jolla Light. Reach her at inga47@san.rr.com. ♦
Two families were displaced from their Carmel Valley townhome after it went up in flames earlier this afternoon.
This happened just before 3 p.m. on Moratalla Terrace. Fire investigators said the fire started inside a garage unit because of faulty electrical equipment and robotics projects. One neighbor said she’s thankful for the quick response.
“The people that own the house were in the driveway calling 911, and within, I think within five minutes of me smelling the smoke the fire trucks were here,” said Nikki Briggs. I’m just thankful that everyone was okay, and that it didn’t keep spreading. Like if it would have been a wildfire, that would have been terrible.”
Firefighters say most of the damage was contained in the garage. A total of nine people were displaced by the fire. Five people lived inside the unit that burned. Thankfully all of them made it out safely without any injuries.
Shares of Gossamer Bio, Inc. (NASDAQ:GOSS) have received a consensus ‘Hold’ rating from the 10 research firms currently covering the company, according to a report from MarketBeat. The average 12-month price target among analysts is $5.43.
Why it matters
Gossamer Bio is a clinical-stage biotech company focused on developing therapies for immune-mediated and inflammatory diseases, as well as oncology. The ‘Hold’ rating and mixed analyst views could impact investor sentiment and the company’s ability to raise capital for further drug development.
The details
The analyst ratings for Gossamer Bio include two ‘Sell’ recommendations, four ‘Hold’ ratings, and four ‘Buy’ recommendations. Some firms have lowered their price targets on the stock, with HC Wainwright decreasing its target from $10 to $5.
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Gossamer Bio released its latest quarterly earnings report on March 17, 2026.
The players
Gossamer Bio, Inc.
A clinical-stage biopharmaceutical company headquartered in San Diego, California that is focused on developing oral, once-daily therapies for immune-mediated and inflammatory diseases, as well as oncology.
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The takeaway
The mixed analyst views on Gossamer Bio highlight the challenges facing the company as it seeks to advance its pipeline of drug candidates through clinical trials and regulatory approvals. The ‘Hold’ rating could make it more difficult for the company to raise capital and fund its operations.
Oceanside Harbor Beach. (File photo courtesy of @CityofOceanside via X)
A man apparent drowned in the waters near the Oceanside Pier Saturday morning, despite efforts by lifeguards and paramedics to revive him.
The Oceanside Fire Department’s Lifeguard Division and the Oceanside Police Department responded to a report of a missing man at about 4:30 a.m.. Officials said the man was last seen swimming in the ocean about a half-hour earlier.
Lifeguards and police immediately initiated a coordinated search effort using pier vantage points, surveillance cameras and watercraft, but the search was suspended at approximately 5:30 a.m. after no one was found, fire officials said.
“At approximately 10:50 a.m., lifeguards discovered an unresponsive adult male, matching the earlier description, in the water near Lifeguard Tower 12, at Oceanside Harbor Beach,” Division Chief Blake Dorse said in a statement. “The individual was removed from the water, and cardiopulmonary resuscitation was immediately initiated.”
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Fire and rescue personnel continued efforts to resuscitate the man on the way to a hospital, where he was pronounced dead. He is believed to be the one who was reported missing near the pier.
Authorities did not release the man’s name.
“The Oceanside Lifeguard Division reminds the public to exercise caution when entering the ocean, especially during early morning hours or when lifeguards are not actively monitoring the water,” Dorse said. “Always swim near an open lifeguard tower and avoid entering the water alone.”
