San Diego, CA
Let Inga Tell You: Learning the languages of love
A book came out some time ago about the five “love languages” that people have in relationships and the problems couples get into when they don’t speak the same ones.
The five languages are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.
For example, some people feel most adored by being lavished with gifts, while others feel most loved when hearing positive words (affirmations) from a spouse. Honestly, it would seem like having some of all five in a relationship would be a good thing, though frankly, neither my husband nor I care about gifts.
Olof and I are mostly in sync on the love languages, except for the ones that neither of us speaks at all. Now that we’re retired, we get to spend lots of quality time together, a huge improvement from all those 80-hour weeks Olof worked when he would literally fall asleep at the dinner table. It’s very hard to have a conversation with someone face down in their linguine.
And while he isn’t big on getting massages, he gives the greatest back rub ever.
I’m very good at giving words of affirmation. However, I don’t get as many back as I might like. Is this a guy thing? An engineer thing? Olof’s view of communication is that couples should be able to talk to each other about anything. So long, he adds, as you never actually do it.
He will never offer an opinion about anything personal unless asked. Nay, begged. No, implored. Actions, he maintains, speak louder than words.
OK, but as I’ve pointed out to him on more than a few occasions, sometimes words would come in really handy.
For me, the acts of service are really high on my list. One such example: Olof has taken over cleaning our outdoor aviary, a job I had for two decades but am physically unable to do anymore. And it’s not the type of job you can hire out. The aviary cage is built into our back porch and requires a lot of shoveling bird poop and seed hulls, then laying down fresh newspaper, which will be coated with more bird poop and more seed pretty much instantly.
After he retired, Olof graciously also took over cleaning the dishes, though I think it might have been more self-defense than an act of love. I’m not the worst housekeeper in the world, although it has been suggested I’m a contender. (Was he a single working carpooling Cub Scout-leading parent for 12 years??? I think not.)
As happy as I am not to be doing dishes after all these years, he runs the dishwasher practically empty. It makes me nuts.
“Inga,” I have to say to myself. “Step away from the dishwasher! The man is doing the dishes. If he wants to run it with two friggin’ forks, let him!”
So I’d like to amend the “acts of service” love language to say “providing acts of service as the previous service provider would have done them.” Is this too much to ask?
There is no question Olof and I have very different styles of doing things. My biggest love language is action. If I see something that needs attention, or is pointed out to me by my husband, I’m on it. No time like the present!
It is definitely not Olof’s idea of a love language, however. Olof has a different word for this love language: “nagging.” If I point out something to him that he needs to take care of that I can’t do myself, it goes on a list where it generally languishes until it dies of old age (or I hire a handyman to do it).
Olof is clear that he hates being nagged worse than just about anything.
I have tried to explain over the years that there is an amazingly simple solution to nagging: Just do what you were asked to do! Maybe even this week! You’re retired! You have time!
I confess I’ve had malevolent moments when he’s asked me to make copies of financial documents for him (the printer-copier is on my desk) and I’m tempted to let them languish instead of making the copies right away. If he should ask, my fantasy is to smile brightly and announce, “It’s on my list!”
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, escalation of hostilities is never a good approach to problem resolution.
I guess the ultimate love language might be accepting the person you’re married to with all their quirks, including running an empty dishwasher that wastes a ton of water and reduces the life of the machine by a decade.
But every week, when I see him out there mucking out the bird cage, I feel loved. Really, really loved.
Inga’s lighthearted looks at life appear regularly in the La Jolla Light. Reach her at inga47@san.rr.com. ♦
Originally Published:
San Diego, CA
San Diego health officials monitor hantavirus situation as cruise ship passengers return to U.S.
SAN DIEGO (KGTV) — American passengers from a cruise ship hit with a hantavirus outbreak are back in the United States.
San Diego County health officials say they are monitoring the situation and there is no need for panic.
“The risk to Californians is really low and especially here in San Diego. Since the year 2000, we’ve only had 4 cases of hantavirus and the majority of those were in travel related cases so not even acquired here locally,” Ankita Kadakia, deputy public health officer for the County of San Diego, said.
According to the CDC, hantavirus is spread through contact with infected rodents.
“The virus can be in their saliva, feces or droppings,” Kadakia said.
San Diego County does see cases of rodents infected with hantavirus, but the strain seen locally is not the same strain connected to the cruise ship outbreak.
“The vast majority of strains of hantavirus are mouse or animal to human transmission. Not human to human transmission. So the Andes strain, which is found in Argentina, there is evidence that there is human to human transmission,” Dr. Ahmed Salem, a pulmonologist at Sharp Memorial Hospital, said.
Salem treated hantavirus during the 2012 Yosemite National Park outbreak.
“One of the ways you die from hantavirus is you get a collapse of your cardiac system and your pulmonary system and you have to go on something called ECMO. It’s one of the most aggressive forms of life support that you can do. So I do remember that case, and unfortunately, that person passed away,” Salem said.
There is currently no cure or vaccine for hantavirus. Health officials stress that for those who were not on the cruise ship, the risk of contracting the virus remains low.
This story was reported on-air by a journalist and has been converted to this platform with the assistance of AI. Our editorial team verifies all reporting on all platforms for fairness and accuracy.
San Diego, CA
Machado's walk-off lifts Padres to 10-inning comeback victory over Cards
Here’s some instant reaction from the Padres’ wild 3-2 victory
San Diego, CA
Padres come back, walk off with win over Cardinals to split series
It seemed like the same tired story.
Instead, it was the same thriller.
The Padres pushed their offensive lethargy as long as possible without paying for it Sunday, tying the game with two outs in the ninth inning on Nick Castellanos’ two-run homer and then celebrating after Manny Machado’s sacrifice fly in the 10th inning gave them a 3-2 victory over the Cardinals.
“Getting it done,” Machado said.
That’s it. That is all they are doing.
And at what is essentially the quarter mark of the season, the Padres are 24-16 and tied with the Dodgers atop the National League West.
The shocking component of their having the major leagues’ fifth-best record is that the Padres rank in the bottom three among MLB’s 30 teams in batting average and OPS.
They split with the Cardinals despite having 14 hits, their fewest in a four-game series in franchise history. Their 61 hits over their past 10 games are the fewest in a stretch that long since 2019, and they are 5-5 in those games.
“It sucks; we need to hit; Machado said. “I mean, you know, look, it’s obvious. We’re not hitting. It’s obvious, but we’re getting things done, man.”
Sunday was the Padres’ 12th victory this season in which the decisive run was scored in the seventh inning or later. That is exactly half their victories.
It was their fourth walk-off victory, their second in extra innings. It was the seventh time that a run scored in their final offensive half-inning decided a victory.
So it is no small thing to proffer that Sunday was possibly their most dramatic triumph. Because it was possibly their most unlikely one.
Not only were they a strike away from defeat, but they began the ninth inning having gotten two hits all day.
The Cardinals took a 2-0 lead in the fourth inning on their first two hits off Walker Buehler — a single by Alec Burleson and a home run by Jordan Walker with two outs. Buehler pitched six innings, allowing just one more hit before Ron Marinaccio worked two scoreless innings.
But the Padres were unable to make anything of their seven at-bats with runners in scoring position over the first eight innings. They had walked five times but had just Jackson Merrill’s third-inning single and Xander Bogaerts’ fourth-inning double to that point.
“Really good teams find ways to win games when they’re not doing their best,” Gavin Sheets said. “… We’re not clicking on all cylinders by any means. And I don’t think any of us would say that he’s on a roll right now, but we’re getting hits in a timely fashion and it’s someone different every night.”
Almost.
The Padres have game-winning RBIs from 10 different players. They have go-ahead RBIs from 13 of the 14 position players who have been on their roster this season. Sunday was Castellanos’s third game-tying RBI.
His home run, on the ninth pitch of his at-bat against Cardinals closer Riley O’Brien, was something of a clinic by a veteran hitter who is in his first season as a role player.
Castellenos, who entered the game as a pinch-hitter in the seventh inning and remained in right field, came to the plate with Bogaerts at first base with two outs.
Bogaerts’ single leading off the inning had been followed by two strikeouts, and Castellanos fell behind 0-2 before working the count full and then sending a 99 mph sinker on the inner edge of the plate almost to the ribbon scoreboard fronting the second level of seats beyond left field.
“The first pitch started, and I was probably looking to do what I did,” he said. “And then I ended up getting 0-2 and chasing. After that, just took a deep breath and tried to shorten up as much as possible and just compete. Just find a way on base. And then found myself in a full account and was able to get the job done.”
It was the first home run allowed by O’Brien this season.
With closer Mason Miller not available after throwing 29 pitches over 1⅓ innings on Saturday, Jeremiah Estrada got the first two outs of the 10th. With runners on first and second, Adrian Morejón entered the game and got an inning-ending pop out on his first pitch.
Gordon Graceffo was on the mound for the Cardinals, and Ramón Laureano was the Padres’ automatic runner in the 10th. The Cardinals intentionally walked Merrill at the start before Fernando Tatis Jr. whittled a 1-2 count into a walk to load the bases.
The game was over one pitch later, when Machado sent a fastball to right-center field and Laureano slid across the plate well in front of right fielder Jordan Walker’s throw.
It was a somewhat subdued but still enthusiastic celebration along the first-base line, as teammates bounced around Machado.
“It’s hard to win a game like that,” Padres manager Craig Stammen said. “Their pitchers pitched great, and they’re bringing in one of the best closers in the game. And we just stuck with it. It just speaks to how those guys believe in themselves and how they believe in what we’ve got going on as a team.”
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