Call me a size queen but as San Diego Magazine‘s official pretzel correspondent I was drooling when I saw Subway advertising foot-long Auntie Anne’s soft pretzels as part of a new campaign of foot-long snacks. Soft pretzels are why the gods gifted us tongues—to share with us the divine glory of the pillowy bread knot. Soft pretzels are without question the best bread.

So, Subway and Aunti A’s collabing on a full 12 inches? Yeah, I’m tipping my head back and taking the whole thing. Sucking the salt off and eating it like a duck. Generally, I think Subway is gross and smells funny. But it’s a pretzel! Who cares if it comes from the sickly-sweet scented armpit of the corporate food industry? It will be cheap, and it’s gotta be decent, right?

Wrong. Violently wrong.

This is no pretzel. This is an STD. Subway’s foot-long middle finger to us all. I didn’t get past the first bite. I’d rather eat a paper towel tube.

Bread this bad can only mean one thing: Subway hates America.

Imagine me, blissfully strolling across a strip mall parking lot, spinning my keys, maybe humming a little love song, excited to spend $3 for what I figured might prove to be something of a fast food guilty pleasure. Not something to eat everyday, but a treat for when life’s lights go dull. So I broke a five, collected my pretzel-filled paper sleeve, plastic cup of honey mustard, and headed to my truck.

What came next was a silent fart in my mouth from the asses of corporate America. Lord, The face I made. This is the Malört of bread.

This pretzel is a mouth sore, an atrocity. The outside is dry and the inside is…also dry? Chewy in an unappealing way, it is utterly flavorless. A full disappointment. Stale white bread with a dry crunchy shell. Calling this a pretzel is racist. It’s going to give an entire generation ARFID.

I can’t believe more Subways aren’t on fire. Philly, where you at? I thought you guys loved pretzels.

Serving this in actual restaurants feels like an assault on the US from a foreign enemy. Deplete their bread reserves, break their spirits. But Subway is not a foreign power. They’re the second largest fast food chain in the country and a $16 billion revenue stream for private equity parent company, Roark Capital Group. Roark owns dozens of brands like Arby’s, Dunkin’ Donuts, Cheesecake Factory, Cinnabon, Auntie Anne’s, the list goes on. With all that airport food they’re selling, Roark generates some $77 billion in annual revenue. They’re also notorious wage thieves and enemies of the $15 federal minimum wage.

So, let me tell you in case you’re slow on the uptick: everything is rotten in the stratospheres of American power. Execs at these corporate monoliths haven’t just turned their backs on the American people: they spit in our faces, steal wallets and laugh, clearly aware they are too big to face consequences.

Who do we even complain to? These people run the world. What are you going to do? Buy the ingredients? Make your own pretzels? You work two jobs and pay 60 percent of your take home pay in rent. Your check engine light is coming on any day now. Meanwhile companies like Roark and Subway make billions and spend their R&D budgets on figuring out how to do less for Americans who are out here fighting for their lives.

No wonder the world is getting so damn expensive.

Did you know you need to earn 80 percent more today than in 2020 to purchase a house? And food costs have increased 25 percent in recent years. That raise you’re hoping for? It means almost nothing compared to what things cost out there.

Have you heard of ‘shrinkflation?’ Companies are charging you more while giving you less. Even fruits and vegetables have gotten less nutritious. In San Diego—where we pay the most expensive energy bills in the country—you can make six-figures and still be lower-middle class. The US is one big Ponzi scheme. Life here smells more sour by the day. We’re getting screwed, and these pretzels are just proof.

Life is objectively getting harder. The middle class is gone, and most Americans don’t have a $500 emergency fund. We’re one toothache away from living in a tent. More people than ever need $3 food, and we’re being fed stylized co-branded trash. Subway has more money than god and the devil combined, they could easily offer something palatable, something that makes life a little worth living, if they chose.

But corporate America does not see itself as part of the fabric of our people. Roark and the like act as an occupying force, and the bean counting sociopaths they employ have no interest in our shared existences, our shared joys, our shared future. They’d steal your baby’s first breath if they could. They want our very essences. Roark, Auntie Anne’s, Subway— these companies don’t make our food in kitchens, they make it on a spreadsheet. And they hate us, you can taste it.

Did you know Subway paid Charles Barkley and Klay Thompson to advertise these 12 inch turds? Paid them, what? Tens of thousands? Just to convince us to buy this trash. Barkley and Thompson owe us all an apology. Donate your dirty money to food kitchens, you sellouts.

Jesus, my jaw is sore. Do you know how miserably dead warm bread has to be to cause muscle fatigue? I’d rather spend $3 in a prison commissary.

This is what late stage capitalism tastes like. The empire is falling, and American corporations are switching the vacuum on high, sucking as much joy from our lives and money from our pockets as possible before it all comes crashing down. These poisonous, celebrity-endorsed marketing proposals are what they feed us as the world burns.

We could do so much better

I mean it. The bread we eat is important. In Arabic, the word for bread is the same as the word for life. Somehow, in America, we’ve been driven to the point that pretzel now means sadness. I’m no nihilist, but why is it that in America, believing that everyone deserves real, affordable food—or edible bread—is seen as glory-holing The Communist Manifesto? If this is really what our country has come to, revolution must be nigh. Break out the guillotines, I’ll meet you outside of Roark.

But first, I gotta go brush my teeth.

Coming next to Downtown’s Embarcadero — a 5.7-acre

over-the-water park next to the USS Midway Museum

Freedom Park will be a tribute to San Diego’s military history

Sometime in early 2028, a 5.7-acre over-the-water park will be opened alongside the USS Midway Museum on the Downtown Embarcadero — a tribute to the San Diego region’s rich military history.

On its completion, Freedom Park will boast an array of features, including nature gardens, memorials and monuments, play elements, and concessionaires. Developed by the USS Midway Museum and the Port of San Diego, Freedom Park’s overall design will be handled by RICK, a San Diego company formerly called Rick Engineering Company.

RICK is the prime design consultant for the park and will be responsible for developing all civil engineering and landscape architecture. Sub-consultants involved on the engineering, landscape architecture team include BSE Engineering, Triton, Engineers, Ninyo & Moore, and Wimmer, Yamada & Caughey — all from San Diego, and Gallagher and Associates of Virginia Beach, Virginia.

“Visitors will enjoy the beautiful surroundings but have no idea about the complex engineering that made it all possible,” says Nick A. Dorner, RICK’s project manager for Freedom Park, responsible for the extensive coordination of the project.

“This is among California’s most structurally complex over-the-water parks,” Dorner said. “In a typical park, engineers have unlimited space below ground to position water, sewer, electrical, communications and storm drain systems.  At Freedom Park, we have minimal space to contain all the infrastructure.  Everything must fit together seamlessly.”

Top Photo: A rendering of Freedom Park.

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Saab selects San Diego as U.S. innovation hub

Swedish defense industrial giant Saab’s U.S. subsidiary is opening an innovation hub in San Diego named Skapa, the company’s president and CEO said in an interview April 24. “We have innovation hubs in Sweden and one in the U.K, so we thought, ‘Why don’t we set something up in the U.S.?’” Saab President and CEO Micael Johansson told National Defense in a phone interview.
Skapa is Swedish for “to create, to make, to shape,” a press release said.
Having an innovation hub in the United States will pave the way for research opportunities with Saab’s U.S. customers as well as government organizations such as the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, Johansson said. “It will help us quickly get traction in the U.S., and that is quite attractive to us,” he added.

Read more

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State awards $120 million in tax credits to eight

companies to generate more than 2,000 full-time jobs

The state has awarded $120 million in tax credits to eight innovative companies in California that will generate more than 2,100 full-time jobs with an average annual salary of over $100,000, and bring in an estimated $15.5 billion in private investment over the next five years.

The funding, from the Governor’s Office of Business and Economic Development’s (GO-Biz) California Competes program, is going to companies expanding their operations in California and supporting the type of cutting-edge industries that the state is known for.

One of those companies is Controlled Thermal Resources, which received a $30 million tax credit to help construct a facility near the Salton Sea to sustainably extract lithium and other critical minerals from geothermal brine in Imperial County.

The other companies and their tax credit:

Pacific Steel Group: $30 million

Moxion Power Co.: $25 million

Elve Inc.: $15 million

MicroVention Inc.: $7,500,000

Tau Motors Inc.: $7 million

Paired Power Inc.: $3,500,000

Juanita’s Foods: $2 million

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A new California ruling tries to hold down your health care costs.

Here’s how it works

By Kristen Hwang | CalMatters

You won’t notice it right away, but a new California state agency took a major step last week toward reining in the seemingly uncontrollable costs of health care.

The Office of Health Care Affordability  approved the state’s first cap on health industry spending increases, limiting growth to 3 percent by 2029. This means that hospitals, doctors and health insurers will need to find ways to cut costs to prevent annual per capita spending from exceeding the target. Between 2015 and 2020, per capita health spending in California grew more than 5 percent each year, according to federal data.

A board appointed by Gov. Gavin Newsom and the Legislature on April 17 approved the new regulations in a 6-1 vote.

Health and Human Secretary Dr. Mark Ghaly, who chairs the board, said the regulations recognize that Californians are struggling every day to pay for health care  and the state has a role in helping them. “We have a place in making sure it becomes more affordable,” Ghaly said.

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Carlsbad to build solar energy farm at Maerkle Reservoir

Carlsbad is working with consultants and industry experts to build a solar energy farm on 30 to 40 acres the city owns at the Maerkle Reservoir.

The Carlsbad Municipal Water District recently completed a feasibility study and is on track to select a development partner by the end of the year, Intergovernmental Affairs Director Jason Haber said Tuesday at a meeting of the Carlsbad City Council, which oversees the water district.

The reservoir covers about 17 acres of the district’s property in a little-seen eastern corner of the city near the border with Oceanside and Vista. The photovoltaic panels would be installed on vacant property the district owns just north of the reservoir.

Up to 8 megawatts could be generated by the system, said the city’s Senior Engineer Keri Martinez. A single megawatt is to supply 650 average homes annually, according to SDG&E.

Read more

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Mahesh Krishnan elected to Halozyme’s Board of Directors

Halozyme Therapeutics Inc. announced the election of Mahesh Krishnan, M.D. to its board of directors. Dr. Krishnan has more than 20 years of experience in health care, biotechnology and health services. Dr. Krishnan currently serves as group vice president of growth at DaVita Inc., one of the largest providers of kidney care services in the U.S. He was co-lead of the DaVita Venture Group, where he oversaw strategic partnerships in technology and research and development within the organization.

Sempra named a Best Employer for Diversity by Forbes

Sempra has been named to Forbes Best Employers for Diversity in 2024, marking the sixth consecutive year the company has earned a spot on the annual list recognizing strong workforce development and employee engagement practices. The Best Employers for Diversity 2024, presented by Forbes and Statista Inc., were identified in an independent survey from a sample of over 170,000 U.S.-based employees working for companies employing at least 1,000 people within the U.S.

Cetera names Michael Molnar head of corporate development

Cetera Finanial Group, he premier financial advisor Wealth Hub, has named Michael Molnar its head of corporate development. Molner, a Wall Street veteran who has been a buy-side investor, an investment banker and a sell-side analyst, previously led corporate development, M&A and succession planning for Avantax Inc., acquired by Cetera Holdings in November 2023. Molnar orchestrated more than 20 acquisitions that helped nearly double the size of Avantax’s employee-based RIA.

Finopotamus launches the 2024-25 Payments Industry Leaders Forum

Finopotamus, the only online resource providing in-depth technology coverage exclusively to credit unions, announced the launch of the inaugural Payments Industry Leaders Forum, the second in a Finopotamus series of knowledge portals focused on key industry topics. The publication’s first offering, the Digital Banking Industry Leaders Forum, was launched in Q4 of 2023. Finopotamus was created by industry veterans W.B. King, John San Filippo, and Roy Urrico.

Provisio Medical announces FDA clearance of Provisio SLT IVUS system

Provisio Medical announced FDA clearance of the Provisio SLT IVUS System. Sonic Lumen Tomography (SLT) technology addresses a critical unmet need for vascular specialists by providing automatic, real-time, accurate, numeric measurements of the flow lumen of blood vessels without the complexities of image interpretation. Provisio Medical’s catheter is the world’s first integrated intravascular imaging and support crossing catheter and enables vessel lumen measurement and visualization simultaneously.

Alaska Airlines expands presence in Southern California

Alaska Airlines is expanding service at two of its major hubs in Southern California with new routes and additional capacity to popular West Coast destinations as part of the carrier’s ongoing commitment to growth in the state. It will add its 39th nonstop destination from San Diego with service to Las Vegas. It also will start new service between Los Angeles and Pasco, and bring back guest favorite Los Angeles to Reno.

COOLA celebrates 20 years of innovation

COOLA has been creating organic, innovative suncare for 20 years. As sunscreen and skincare consumers have evolved, COOLA is making a move to ensure its packaging fully represents its future. Building beyond its lifestyle-brand legacy, COOLA is looking to reflect its expertise and superiority in SPF by revealing a brand-new look that conveys its focus on efficacy and innovation while still embracing its organic, Southern California heritage.

Polaris unleashes lineup of cordless cleaners to meet every need

Polaris, the leading manufacturer of premium automatic pool cleaners, has added to its robotic offering with a new lineup of cordless cleaners to accommodate any backyard pool or spa. The Polaris Freedom, which debuted last spring, was the first Cordless Robotic Pool Cleaner launched by the iconic brand. Now Polaris builds on the success of FREEDOM with the advanced FREEDOM Plus, PIXEL and the groundbreaking new Spabot cleaners.

LUXE Bidet named Hermes Creative Awards 2024 Gold winner

LUXE Bidet, the #1 bidet attachment provider in America, shared its recent success at the esteemed Hermes Creative Awards for its project “LUXE Bidet – Good Clean Fun,” featuring a host-read with Conan O’Brien. The company’s advertisement, led by Conan O’Brien, has been honored as a 2024 Gold Winner, signifying a remarkable achievement in creative excellence and industry recognition. LUXE Bidet celebrates winning the 2024 Hermes Creative Gold Award for its exceptional bidet attachment project.

Oberon Fuels and Sunvapor commission solar steam project

Oberon Fuels, a renewable fuels producer, and Sunvapor, a renewaboe heat provider, commissioned a solar steam project under the first purchase agreement in the U.S. for industrial solar steam. This agreement will eliminate upfront capital requirements to deploy solar steam, while enabling Oberon to as much as double output capacity and slash the carbon intensity of renewable fuels — critical for industrial customers seeking renewable fuels to achieve pressing net-zero commitments.

Wildcat receives 100th patent for battery materials innovation and technology

Battery materials pioneer Wildcat Discovery Technologies announced it received its 100th patent, reinforcing its industry-leading innovation and advancing its strategy for U.S.-based cathode materials manufacturing. Wildcat has been developing battery materials since 2006 and plans to build a plant in the United States to manufacture lithium iron phosphate (LFP) in late 2026, lithium manganese iron phosphate (LMFP) in 2027, and disordered rock salt (DRX) in 2028. The company has received patents for cathode active materials (CAM) innovations, novel electrolytes and anodes, and various other battery-related technologies.

The Hawaii baseball team decided it was far too early to call it a season.

Though a conference championship remains statistically improbable, UH clawed its way back to .500 in the Big West by beating UC San Diego 15-10 on Sunday and completing a three-game weekend sweep in La Jolla, Calif.

It was the first time UH swept a team on the road since it did it against UCSD on its last visit to Triton Ballpark in May 2022.

The Rainbow Warriors (25-15, 9-9 BWC) broke out the bats for the second straight day, compiling 15 hits with home runs from Kyson Donahue and Sean Rimmer, plus 12 team walks. Donahue’s three-run shot in the third, his team-best fifth of the year, was his second in as many days.

UH built a nine-run lead in the fourth inning when a pitch with the bases loaded hit Naighel Ali‘i Calderon. The margin grew to as large as 12 when Donahue hit a double down the rightfield line, followed by a sacrifice fly by Dallas Duarte.

UCSD (26-14, 13-8) scored nine runs in the final four innings to make the final more respectable.

Harrison Bodendorf got the start and went three innings with one run allowed. Itsuki Takemoto (2-1) worked a scoreless fourth to pick up the win.

Donahue and Jake Tsukada drove in four runs apiece. Duarte went 3-for-5 and Jordan Donahue, Matthew Miura and Rimmer recorded multi-hit games.

Freshman Kerim Orucevic went 3-for-3 after entering as a pinch hitter for UCSD.

The Tritons will be a full-fledged Division I member the next time UH and UCSD play. This is their final season as a transitional D-I team that is ineligible for the postseason.

The ‘Bows return home for another quick turnaround for a game against a local Division II opponent. UH hosts Hawaii Hilo (19-30) for the Vulcans’ season finale at 6:35 p.m. Tuesday.

Brian McInnis covers the state’s sports scene for Spectrum News Hawaii. He can be reached at brian.mcinnis@charter.com.