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Wayne and Wanda: My girlfriend is planning 5 out-of-state summer trips for us, and it feels like a lot

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Wayne and Wanda: My girlfriend is planning 5 out-of-state summer trips for us, and it feels like a lot


Dear Wayne and Wanda,

I’m kinda stuck in a tight spot with my girl. She’s got this summer all mapped out with like five trips out of Alaska, and she’s dead set on dragging me along for the ride. We’re talking three weddings, a big family gathering with all her siblings and their significant others — which apparently is a once-in-a-blue-moon deal — and the annual music fest with her college crew and high school buddies. I get why she’s feeling the pressure to show her face everywhere, and sure, why she wants me there. But man, it’s a logistical nightmare and a wallet-drainer, not to mention all the vacation days I’d have to burn. Plus, I’m not exactly thrilled about ditching our Alaska summer vibe while she jets off.

We’re both pushing 30 and have been going strong for almost two years now. Come fall, we’re planning to shack up together. We’re pretty much on the same page about everything: future, family, the whole shebang. Alaska’s been home for us since we each moved up after college and eventually met, and we’re both very happy here.

This whole summer ordeal is our first real “drama,” and it’s not just me feeling the heat. I know she’s stressed and feels pressure, but she also keeps talking about needing to RSVP, buy tickets and make reservations. I get it, but I feel cornered. I’ve suggested we prioritize these trips, pick a few for her and both of us to attend, and figure it out together, but she’s adamant that they’re all crucial, while at the same time putting pressure on me to make the choices. It feels like a trap.

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I want to be supportive, and present, but I’m frustrated. How can I support her while keeping some boundaries and making her see my reality?

Wanda says:

It’s admirable that you’re trying to be a responsive partner, so let me state the obvious: Missing one or more of these trips does not make you a bad boyfriend. On the low-end estimation, five trips would have you out of Alaska for at least 15 days, and that’s if you were leaving on Fridays and returning on Sundays, or something similar. More realistically you’re looking at being away for several weeks cumulatively. That’s practically one-third of the summer. And if it’s anything like the past couple of summers and all the miserable rain we’ve had, you could end up missing all the best days.

I’m not telling you anything you and your girlfriend don’t know: Alaska summers are awesome. It’s the absolute worst time to leave. It’s why we suffer the winters — to play in the late-night sunshine. Five trips is just too big of an ask. I’m sure even she knows this and is hoping your devotion to her will win out. But this is a perfect example of where a compromise is in order, and where both partners of the relationship should agree on and respect that compromise.

In your case, let’s consider the list. Three weddings? That’s two too many. Pick the one where you have the closest connection to the bride and groom. Not close to any of them? Then default to whoever is nearest and dearest to your girlfriend. The family reunion? Skip it. If it’s truly a rarity, everyone will have their hands full trying to create meaningful reconnection amid the crowded chaos; your presence, quite simply, isn’t a value add. Make sure your gal has a recent couple selfie snapped on her phone that she can show off to all her aunties. Finally, the music festival? Go! This is the only thing on the list that sounds like a real vacation. Propose this plan to your partner, explain the thought process, and promise when the tables are turned in the future, you’ll remember to be lenient in requesting her participation.

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Wayne says:

Following last week’s dramatic NFL Draft, I feel compelled to grade your selections, Wanda. While you made some solid picks, and wisely advised him that backing away from a few opportunities would fortify his front office synergy (mental health and relationship stability) and salary cap (financial health), I must grade your collective selections a C because you totally botched the most important pick: the family gathering.

If our letter-writer sees a future with this woman, it also means a future with her family. And if he’s the only partner not attending this rare get-together, it sends a pretty loud and not-so-cool message (or messages). The family will talk, to her and behind her back. And she’ll have to answer for him, which is exhausting and embarrassing. “He’s hiking” or “He’s hanging out in the backyard drinking beers with his buddies under the Midnight Sun” won’t exactly score a free pass or points with the family.

But yes, you must compromise and sacrifice. And yes, you must be the good boyfriend. So, I suggest you attend three events, in this order: 1. The Family Gathering (reasons listed above); 2. The Most Important Wedding to your Girlfriend (obvious reasons); and 3. The Friends Festival — the biggest bang for your buck in solidifying yourself with the people she cares about (and if you’re going to miss summer sun in Alaska, summer sun and fun at a humid outdoor festival is a great trade).

And yes, remember that she’s stressed and feeling pressure, too. When you tell your girlfriend about your Top 3 choices, also work to remind her that life is long and you two have big plans, too. And that it isn’t the end of the world if she attends one wedding with friends and skips one wedding to give herself a reset of basking in Alaska’s summer, and get some quality time with you while plotting your big move. If she has a sense of humor, tell her that statistically one of the marriages will likely end in divorce anyway. Send the losing pick a nice gift and invite them up to Alaska to stay with you on either end of their honeymoon. Now you’re going from a no-win to a win-win. Have fun!

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[Ask Amy: My girlfriend got drunk at a party and revealed deeply personal info about me. What should I do?]

[Ask Amy: My boyfriend’s a great guy and we were talking about marriage. Then I discovered he’s nearly $20,000 in debt.]

[Wayne and Wanda: Why do I feel jealous of my boyfriend’s close friendship with another woman?]





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Alaska

Jesuits say goodbye to Alaska at Bethel ceremony

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Jesuits say goodbye to Alaska at Bethel ceremony


The first Jesuit missionaries in Alaska sailed up the Yukon River in 1887. By the turn of the 20th century, the religious order of the Catholic Church had as many as 50 Jesuits in the state.

Now, only two remain. And by the end of June, there will be none.

The Jesuits’ nearly 140 years in the state was honored at an event at Bethel’s Immaculate Conception Church on June 16. A procession of priests wearing long white gowns with red hems walked down the aisle to open the event. The Bishop of the Diocese of Fairbanks, Stephen Maekawa, thumped the ground with a shimmering silver staff known as a clozier as he approached the altar.

Bishop of the Diocese of Fairbanks, Steven Maekawa, walks toward the altar at the Immaculate Conception Church in Bethel.

“My brothers and sisters, we gather together to celebrate this wonderful and blessed occasion to acknowledge the love of God and the work of God through the 139 year mission of the Society of Jesus of the Jesuit fathers,” Maekawa said to open the event.

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A traditional Catholic mass followed, with readings in both English and Yup’ik. During the sermon, Maekawa acknowledged the vastness of the Fairbanks diocese, and the tremendous amount of work done by the Jesuits to establish it.

“All of the 46 churches of the Diocese of Fairbanks that we currently have were established by either the Jesuit fathers or by direction of a Jesuit bishop,” Maekawa said. “We have a long history of the Society of Jesus’ presence and ministry here in all of Alaska.”

The Jesuits are an order within the Catholic Church, akin to the Dominicans or Franciscans. They have a reputation for taking on some of the Catholic Church’s most remote assignments.

That missionary spirit brought the Jesuits to the Yukon River in 1887, where they built churches, schools, and ministries. Without their work, Catholicism may not have taken root in huge swaths of Alaska, particularly among Alaska Native communities.

The Immaculate Conception Church in Bethel.
The Immaculate Conception Church in Bethel.

But the Jesuits leave a complicated legacy. Their methods of converting Native people to the religion, particularly in the first half of the 20th century, created generational traumas still felt to this day.

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Fr. Sean Carroll is the provincial of the Jesuits West Province, which oversees Alaska and nine other states.

Father Sean Carroll, provincial of the Jesuits West Province, speaks at an event recognizing nearly 140 years of Jesuit service in Alaska.
Fr. Sean Carroll, provincial of the Jesuits West Province, speaks at an event recognizing nearly 140 years of Jesuit service in Alaska.

“Thank you for all that you have taught us about who Jesus is and how to love and serve Him wholeheartedly,” Carroll said. “I also thank you for your patience with us. For there have been times when we have sinned and when we have hurt you.”

Missionaries, including the Jesuits, forcefully converted and assimilated Alaska Native people into Western culture and religion. Students at Jesuit-run boarding schools were forced to abandon their Native languages and physically punished when caught speaking languages other than English. Native dancing and drumming were also banned.

The Jesuits West Province maintains a list of 150 Jesuits with credible claims of sexual abuse against minors or vulnerable adults. A quarter of the accused Jesuits served in Alaska at some point in time.

“I ask for your forgiveness for all that we have done that was not rooted in Christ and love for Him, and for when we did not value your culture nor recognize the presence of God in you,” Carroll said.

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Carroll gave the order to withdraw from the state last spring. A big issue was the recruitment of Jesuits willing to travel and serve in remote villages. He told the congregation that the Jesuits’ work would continue, just without a permanent presence.

Father Rich Magner, one of the two remaining Jesuit priests in Alaska, attends a ceremony in Bethel.
Fr. Rich Magner, one of the two remaining Jesuit priests in Alaska, attends a ceremony in Bethel.

Fr. Rich Magner is one of the two remaining Jesuit priests in Alaska. His last day serving Chevak, Hooper Bay, and Scammon Bay is June 30.

“We all always knew coming in, or should have known, that we’re not going to be here forever. It’s going to be mission accomplished at some point,” Magner said. “And then we hand it off to the diocese that we’ve helped create, and so that’s a good feeling.”

Magner’s next stop is a Clinical Pastoral Education residency in Tacoma, Washington.

The other remaining priest, Fr. Tom Provinsal, first came to Alaska in 1968 to teach. A fond memory, he said, was meeting Elders that practiced traditional subsistence lifestyles.

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“Some of the grandmothers, their fingers were just all bent with arthritis and stuff like that, you know, their whole lives they’ve been working out in the cold and the wet, doing food, sewing, all that kind of stuff,” Provinsal said. “I’d say I just feel very privileged to have come when I did come and to see that.”

Provinsal returned in 1975 as a priest and has served in the region ever since. After moving away, he plans to take a five month sabbatical. What happens next, he said, is in God’s hands.

Two lines formed in the aisle for communion at the end of the mass. After taking communion, Bethel’s Parish Administrator Susan Murphy gave a final thank you.

“It’s difficult to say goodbye to people who have been a part of our lives for so long,” Murphy said. “We know that you have done what was yours to do, and have taught us to do what is ours to do. We are grateful.”

Jesuit priests form a row along the altar of Bethel's Immaculate Conception Church as members of the congregation lift their arms and pray.
Jesuit priests form a row along the altar of Bethel’s Immaculate Conception Church as members of the congregation lift their arms and pray.

Dominic Hunt, a Yup’ik deacon that flew in from Emmonak for the event, led the congregation through a final prayer.

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“Bless them with your wisdom, that they may be a word of hope, a world in need. We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen,” Hunt said.

About 70 people posed for a photo on the altar – priests, deacons, parishioners, Elders and children — many of them smiling, some standing quietly.

The photo doesn’t tell the whole story. But it’s a moment when gratitude, grief, and memory all shared the same room.

Bishop of the Diocese of Fairbanks, Steven Maekawa, stands in the middle of a crowd waiting to take a photo at Bethel's Immaculate Conception Church.
Bishop of the Diocese of Fairbanks, Steven Maekawa, stands in the middle of a crowd waiting to take a photo at Bethel’s Immaculate Conception Church.





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Alaska Supreme Court to take up case on Dan J. Sullivan, decision expected by Tuesday

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Alaska Supreme Court to take up case on Dan J. Sullivan, decision expected by Tuesday


JUNEAU, Alaska (KTUU) – The Supreme Court of Alaska will be taking up the case of the State of Alaska, Division of Elections v. Daniel J. Sullivan, Jr.

The oral arguments will be held Monday at 10 a.m. via Zoom, according to an order and opening notice.

The document also specifies that a decision is expected to be made before noon on Tuesday.

According to documents from the Division of Elections, the state must start printing ballots at noon on the same day.

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This comes after an Anchorage Superior Court Judge ordered Dan J. Sullivan on to the ballot Friday.

See a spelling or grammar error? Report it to web@ktuu.com

Copyright 2026 KTUU. All rights reserved.



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Mat-Su Initial Attack Responding to Fire in Flat Lake

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Mat-Su Initial Attack Responding to Fire in Flat Lake


An engine and firefighters from the Division of Forestry & Fire Protection’s Mat-Su Area are responding to a fire near Flat Lake.

A caller reported a fire on an island in Flat Lake, with 2 foot flame lengths and structures near by.

The engine crew responding will be shuttled by boat to the fire. The fire is currently reported as .1 acre, creeping and smoldering.

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Additional updates will be shared as they become available.

‹ Pioneer Peak Hotshots, Gannett Glacier Crew Join Fight Against 2 Fires Near Ruby

Categories: Active Wildland Fire

Tags: #FireYear2026 #2026AKFIRESEASON, 2026 Alaska Fire Season



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