Washington

Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom worries about daughter’s family plans with polyamorous couple

Published

2 years ago

June 23, 2024

Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom worries about daughter’s family plans with polyamorous couple

Dear Carolyn: For the last three years, my adult daughter has been in a polyamorous relationship with a married couple. They live in another state, and I’ve met the couple only twice. I like the wife more than the husband. She’s similar to my daughter. Both women hold well-paying jobs with potential for advancement. The husband puts in his 40 hours at a mediocre job, then plays video games while his wife and my daughter take care of the house.

But here’s where things have gotten really difficult for me. The couple recently decided to have a baby. My daughter announced this by telling me out of the blue, “You could be a grandmother soon.” I hate to be shallow, but any baby this couple has will not feel like my grandchild.

After I processed the information for a few days, my daughter and I had a long talk. I expressed my feelings, that the baby would have two sets of doting biological grandparents and I would just be some woman they saw every once in a while. I also asked my daughter if she was ready for the many changes a baby would make to their lives.

My daughter said she understood. Well, suddenly, she tells me she will adopt the baby as a “third parent.” (The wife is not yet pregnant.) I asked her if she fully understood all that adoption entailed. If she and the couple ever broke up, she would still be the child’s legal parent. I asked her why she felt the need to adopt the child and advised her to see an attorney before making any decision.

I’m worried she’s planning to adopt because of my remark about not feeling a grandmotherly connection. Also, could they be using my daughter as a cash cow to finance their dream? I’m confused and losing sleep. Do I keep my mouth shut or give my honest opinion when asked? I love my daughter dearly and would hate to drive a wedge between us.

Struggling Mom: I have a bunch of opinions right now, and I doubt “wouldn’t feel like a real grandmother” would be foremost among them if I were in your position. Though none of us knows how we will feel until we get to a situation ourselves.

This I do know: Your daughter’s domestic arrangements are not for you (or me) to fix for her, and your feelings are not for your daughter to fix for you.

Some part of your daughter’s life will always confuse you — that’s in a kid’s job description. But you can go a long way toward easing your mind if you keep those basic lines clear. Her home life is hers, and your feelings are yours.

Your responses so far to her news have blurred these lines. (In a food-processor kind of way.) Unless she asked your opinion, your warnings and concerns were incursions into her business. Well-meaning, for sure, but incursions nonetheless. A would-be grandmother is no more entitled to weigh in on an adult’s family planning than anyone else.

Plus, um, the thing you carefully composed as, “Are you sure you’re ready for the big life changes?” always comes out as, “You shouldn’t have a baby!” Always. Ask anyone who has been on the receiving end.

Your daughter is still communicating with you after this, so that’s good. You two are strong, I’m guessing.

Meanwhile, it is not her job to make life choices that help her parent feel better. Adults get to have or not have children as they are able to and see fit to. If you want to feel like a grandmother, then make the best of the opportunities — the grandchildren — you’re given. What else can I say? What else can you do?

I don’t mean to sound unfeeling. As I said at the outset, I have plenty of thoughts of my own here; they’re simply not relevant to the math of the situation. Which is:

· Your daughter will do what your daughter will do.

· You do not have a meaningful say in what that is.

· Your choice is to embrace your daughter, as is, misgivings and all, and any baby if there ever is one, or to distance yourself.

· If this choice comes with feelings you feel unable to manage or contain, then don’t expect your daughter to help you with that. Seek help from outside your shared family circle.

· If she asks your advice on X, ask how she feels about X and proceed from there.

· And if you already feel more distant from your daughter than you would like, then now beats later as the time to try to remedy that.

You were right to make one point, even if she already knew it: lawyer. Laws and families are evolving. Plus, the wise leave neither their hearts nor their children’s custody to chance.

Last thing, for you: If you ever think there’s no place for you amid younger generations because they’ve changed too much, then the mistake is yours. Adapt, or don’t; not one digit of that math has changed.

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Washington

Holdout Democrats leave WA House support for income tax in doubt

Published

8 hours ago

March 5, 2026

Press Room

Holdout Democrats leave WA House support for income tax in doubt

The votes weren’t there yet late Wednesday for Democrats’ income tax bill in the Washington state House.Democratic members are withholding support for the proposed income tax on millionaires, saying they want to see if a new version of the controversial legislation, possibly due out Thursday, will satisfy their concerns.

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Washington

Bill strengthening Washington child sex abuse material laws focuses on consciousness, AI

Published

20 hours ago

March 4, 2026

Press Room

Bill strengthening Washington child sex abuse material laws focuses on consciousness, AI

SEATTLE — A bill aimed at tightening Washington’s laws on child sex abuse material is headed to Gov. Bob Ferguson’s desk after clearing the Legislature unanimously.

King County Prosecuting Attorney Leesa Manion said 2ESSB 5105 passed the House unanimously Tuesday night after the Senate unanimously approved it on Jan. 28, 2026.

SEE ALSO | Washington exempts clergy from reporting abuse learned in confession after settlement

Manion called the measure one of her public safety legislative priorities.

“People who peddle in the misery of sexually abused children must be held accountable,” Manion said. “I am grateful for the work of Senior Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Laura Harmon – both in prosecuting these cases and advocating for these legal fixes – and Senators Tina Orwall and Manka Dhingra for championing this legislation.”

Manion’s office said the current state law has gaps that can prevent prosecutors from holding offenders accountable in some cases.

Under current law, prosecutors cannot charge defendants for creating images of child sex abuse unless the child victim was conscious or knew they were being recorded.

The office also said that possessing sexually explicit fabricated (AI) images of non-identifiable minors is not considered child sex abuse material under Washington law.

The bill would update RCW 9.68A.040 to remove the requirement that a child be aware of an abusive recording. It would also update the definition of child sex abuse material to include fabricated (AI) images of non-identifiable minors.

The legislation would also increase the statute of limitations to 10 years for depiction crimes. Manion’s office said the current statute of limitations is three years, and argued that because the images can remain online indefinitely, victims can be re-traumatized for decades.

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Washington

Utah Starts Road Trip with Win in Washington | Utah Mammoth

Published

1 day ago

March 4, 2026

Press Room

Utah Starts Road Trip with Win in Washington | Utah Mammoth

Both of Utah’s power play units scored in the win. Sergachev scored his 10^th goal of the season on the power play 13 and a half minutes into the first period. Peterka scored his 21^st of the season, on the man-advantage, in the final two minutes of the middle frame.

Peterka has three power play goals in the 2025-26 campaign while Sergachev has matched a career-high with five power play goals this season. Overall, Utah’s power play has scored six goals in the last six games. That output matches the Mammoth’s total from their previous 18 games (per Mammoth PR). Tourigny discussed what’s changed with the team’s performance in recent games.

“(The) puck gets in,” Tourigny laughed. “But, no, I think there’s a number of things. The most important thing is we’re aggressive. We’re attacking.

“…If you look at our goal, the first one, it’s a direct play to the net and then on the loose puck recovery we take a shot with traffic and we score,” Tourigny continued. “On the second one, it’s a slot pass, a great shot by (Peterka). I think we had that attack mindset.”

Guenther, who is on the Mammoth’s top power play unit, agreed with Tourigny’s assessment of attacking more.

“I think just attacking, less predictable,” Guenther explained. “Shooting it more, I think (it is) just work really. Trying to play like a 5-on-5 mindset but on the (power play).”

The Mammoth made several line changes for tonight’s game and the new lines started to find chemistry, despite it being the first game with these changes.

“I like them,” Tourigny said of the changes. “Obviously (Guenther) got a goal, but Cooley’s line was really good. I was looking at the expected goals at the end, I think they were above 90%. So that’s pretty, pretty awesome. Then I think (Barrett Hayton’s) line worked really hard. They’re heavy on pucks and they play well defensively. I did like (Michael Carcone’s) line in (the) previous three games, and I did like them again tonight.”

When Washington pushed back with a power play goal and multiple close chances in the third period, Utah fought hard against the momentum swing to secure the win.

“I thought we did a pretty good job,” Keller explained. “Weathering the storm as much as we could. They’re a great veteran team. They made it hard on us. They pressured us all over the ice, but I was proud of the way we fought there towards the end.”

Utah’s bench was positive and calm throughout the game, especially late in the third. This helped the Mammoth through the momentum swings. Keller, who had two assists in the win, was one of the key voices for the Mammoth.

“He’s one of the guys who was really positive on the bench,” Tourigny explained. “(All the players) were but (Keller) was really vocal. He was really good energy on the bench. So that was really good.”

Additional Notes from Tonight (per Mammoth PR)

Guenther had two points in the win (1G, 1A) and the forward has earned a team-high nine points (5G, 4A) through six road games in 2026. He has become the third Mammoth skater to reach the 50-point mark this season (28G, 23A) and established a new career-high in goals.

Sergachev has 18 power play points this season (5G, 13A) and is tied with Keller for the team lead this season.

Keller has recorded multiple primary assists in a game for the seventh time this season and the 27^th time in his NHL career. He has now tallied multiple points in four of his last six contests (2G, 8A), with three multi-assist outings over that span.

The Mammoth continue their five-game road trip in Philadelphia on Thursday night. Game time is 5 p.m. MT and available to watch on Mammoth+ and Utah16.

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