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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Best friend is poised to estrange parents over misunderstanding

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2 years ago

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Best friend is poised to estrange parents over misunderstanding


Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: I love my best friend since childhood dearly, but she believes she’s the world’s biggest victim of middle-child syndrome, when I think she can act rather spoiled.

She had a baby seven months ago and complains constantly about how her parents aren’t stepping up compared with how much they help with her older sister’s kids. I know her parents. They are lovely people who care for their daughter and their newest grandchild deeply. They do help a lot with the other kids, but the imbalance is primarily circumstantial, namely distance: 10 minutes from the sister and 45 minutes from her on a highway in good traffic. Our parents all have more limits than they used to even a couple of years ago.

Recently, she confessed to me that she’s seriously thinking of cutting them off from her son entirely after they “refused” to come babysit so she and her husband could have a date night for their anniversary. She said their reasoning — that they’re not comfortable driving in the dark anymore — was just an excuse.

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I gently tried to suggest that she’s not viewing her parents fairly, and tried to probe whether she’s dealing with any postpartum depression that’s clouding her judgment, but she just said, “Of course I’m depressed when my parents blatantly favor their other grandkids.” She then refused to respond to any of my texts or calls for the next two weeks.

I have since avoided the topic with her, but I believe she’ll do it. It will devastate her parents, rob her son of his grandparents and drive a wedge with her other siblings. I don’t know how to get through to her. Help!

Best Friend: It must be crazy-making to watch this play out: For her to deny her child these grandparents just because she refuses to accept a ridiculously common problem — declining night vision in older adults! — is parental malpractice.

She can frame her parents’ choices in the best possible way or the worst, and chooses the worst.

You obviously know all this and have seen it play out before. But it was cathartic to write it out.

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Plus, I’ve talked myself into advising more forceful truth-telling now with a grandchild involved. She may cut you off for it, too, so weigh that risk before you speak up.

But a clear, loving statement seems warranted: “It is so painful for me to watch you vilify your parents — and discount how much they love you! — when advancing age explains their decisions so much better than favoritism does. I know you’ve felt the middle-child problem forever. But bad night vision is a thing. Postpartum depression is, too.

“So humor me for a second: What if you decided just to trust me on these for a while? And held off on any big decisions, at least till this wild new-baby time is behind you? If you’re right about favoritism, then you’ll still be right two or three years from now and can deal with it then — but if you’re wrong, rushing to cut ties now could do real harm.”

Adapt with your own words, of course, as always.

A reader also suggested talking to the husband about the possible postpartum depression.

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Usual disclaimer: You can’t make someone listen who doesn’t want to. Plus an extra disclaimer: There could be stuff in this family even you don’t know about.

But, still, best friends have standing to break glass in case of emergency. Good luck.



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Social media reacts to former BYU star AJ Dybantsa going No. 1 in 2026 NBA draft

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4 hours ago

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June 23, 2026

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Social media reacts to former BYU star AJ Dybantsa going No. 1 in 2026 NBA draft


Former BYU basketball star AJ Dybantsa fulfilled his dream of going No. 1 overall in the 2026 NBA draft.

The Washington Wizards selected Dybantsa with the first pick.

Immediately after the pick, reactions poured in on social media about the Wizards drafting Dybantsa.

Social media reactions to the Washington Wizards selecting BYU star AJ Dybantsa

Mitch Harper is a BYU Insider for KSL and hosts the Cougar Tracks Podcast daily on KSL Sports YouTube and KSL NewsRadio (SUBSCRIBE). Harper also co-hosts Cougar Sports Saturday (12–3 p.m.) on KSL NewsRadio.

Follow Mitch’s coverage of BYU athletics in the Big 12 Conference on X (formerly Twitter) and Instagram: @Mitch_Harper.

Want more coverage of BYU sports? Take us with you wherever you go.

Download the new and improved KSL Sports app from Utah’s sports leader. Allows you to stream live radio and video, keeping you up to date on all your favorite teams.

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Washington Commanders announce 2026 training camp schedule

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15 hours ago

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June 23, 2026

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Washington Commanders announce 2026 training camp schedule


ASHBURN, Va. – The Washington Commanders have released their 2026 Training Camp schedule, with eleven open practices between August 1 and August 19, including five open to all fans and six reserved for season ticket members.

For the fifth straight year, training camp will take place at the team’s football operations headquarters in Ashburn, Virginia. 

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Open practices for all fans are scheduled for August 1, August 7, August 8, August 18 and August 19.

 Season ticket member practices will be held August 3, 4, 5, 10, 11 and 12. 

All sessions begin at 8:30 a.m., with gates opening at 7:30 a.m.

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Fans can claim free tickets beginning June 23 at 10 a.m. General admission fans may request up to six tickets and one parking pass for a single day of camp. Season ticket members can claim tickets for two member‑exclusive days in addition to one general admission day. All parking will be on site at the BigBear.ai Performance Center and requires a parking pass.

The team plans several themed events throughout camp, including Back Together Weekend on August 1, Military Appreciation Day on August 7 and Kids Day on August 8. Local youth football and community groups will also be hosted throughout the summer.

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For more information visit the Washington Commanders online.

The Source: Information in this article comes from the Washington Commanders.

SportsWashington CommandersWashington, D.C.
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Algae-filled Washington pool to be drained for repairs after US$14.7 million renovation

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1 day ago

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June 23, 2026

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Algae-filled Washington pool to be drained for repairs after US.7 million renovation


The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool on Washington’s National Mall is set to be drained again for repairs after algae and peeling paint appeared just weeks after a US$14.7 million renovation, while President Donald Trump threatened prison time for anyone caught ‌damaging the pool.

The DC Water authority issued a permit to drain the 609-metre rectangular pool, it said on Monday, while the repair company said it would fix the pool as part of its warranty.

Peeling paint and algae growth have been visible in the pool since soon after Trump declared the renovation project complete on June 6. Critics have raised concerns about the no-bid contract to recoat the pool before the ⁠nation’s 250th anniversary celebrations next month, as well as for the ducks that use its water. Workers from the National Park Service earlier this ‌week poured hydrogen peroxide into the pool to combat the algae.

Trump, without evidence, has blamed vandals for the state of the landmark. On Monday, he echoed a weekend threat ‌by US Attorney Jeanine Pirro to prosecute people accused of attempting to destroy the pool.

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“Please remember that there is ⁠a 10-year prison sentence for the ⁠destruction, or even the attempted destruction, of such things – Which will be fully enforced!” Trump earlier wrote in a social media post. Destruction of federal property can ‌carry a maximum prison sentence of 10 years.

It was not immediately apparent what criminal or civil violation someone might commit reaching into the pool.



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