Hi, Carolyn: My mom recently fell in love with someone she reconnected with from her college days, divorced my stepdad and is happy as can be.
Washington
Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom dumped stepdad and wants to coo about her new love to her kid
But it’s driving me nuts! I don’t want to hear it. I’m sad about my stepdad, and although I 100 percent want her to be happy, I am admittedly holding my breath a little until the mooniness quiets down and I can tell this is the real deal.
She’s hurt that I’m not being supportive, and will make comments such as, “At least [so-and-so] wants me to be happy.”
Am I being a jerk for not unreservedly embracing this?
Anonymous: “Unreservedly” is about your feelings; you can’t be a jerk for having feelings, just for acting on them selfishly.
Do you see any selfishness in your letter?
I see plenty, but none of it appears to be yours. Your mom discarded your stepdad possibly with infidelity and apparently without compassion. And she’s oversharing shmoopie new love details without regard for your interest in them. And seems unwilling to consider that you can simultaneously care about your stepdad, want her happiness and want a little distance from it all.
Plus the theme song of this me-parade, “At least [so-and-so] wants me to be happy,” makes me want to jam my thumbs a little too hard into my own eyeballs.
So, no, I am not inclined to call you a jerk. Respecting your own discomfort is not selfish. Plus, you’ve clearly gone out of your way to be mindful of others’ feelings.
To that end, yes, honeymoon phases are gushy (and self-absorbed). And to really stretch the going-out-of-your-wayness, your mom arguably could also have been worn down by her marriage to your stepdad in ways no one outside the marriage could see.
So your patience with her is actually kind of sweet — assuming she didn’t groom you for it over a lifetime of woe-is-me emotional manipulation.
If you’re not sure which it is, then you can probably find out. Merely say this, next time she whines about what she perceives as your lack of support, and see how she reacts: “Mom, I 100 percent want you to be happy. But as your kid, I just don’t want gory details.”
She will be able to grasp this, easily, if she’s able to see far enough past herself to accept your right to say no.
Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have been married almost six decades. I can’t count the number of younger people who ask me what the secret is to a long marriage. What do I say? If I tell the truth about the constant work it is, it could discourage them from marriage. If I say, “Oh, just love each other,” that wouldn’t be true. What else could I say?
Still Working on It: The point is to answer honestly, not to answer in a way that preserves their willingness to marry. Isn’t it?
Ask them how detailed an answer they’d like, then speak from your experience accordingly. Ask more than you tell, even, to get at their concerns.
Presumably, that’s why people approach you. If they’re just looking to confirm their biases, then that’s not your problem, either. It’s theirs.
They may also intend only pleasant conversation and not expect serious counsel.
You are also, always, free not to advise on demand.
4 things to know about the weather:
- Nice Mother’s Day morning
- Shower chance late Sunday
- Morning showers on Monday
- Temperature drop to start the new workweek
Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms! Mother Nature will give us nice conditions for most of the day on Sunday. Expect sunshine and mild conditions for the first half of the day, then a chance of showers near dinner time.
Monday includes a chance of rain, mainly in the morning, then cooler air settles into the area. Highs go from near 80°on Sund ay to the mid 60s Monday.
Download the NBC Washington app on iOS and Android to check the weather radar on the go.
QuickCast
MOTHER’S DAY:
Mostly sunny
Showers late
Wind: W 5-10 mph
HIGH: Low 80s
MONDAY:
Shower chance early
Partly cloudy afternoon
Wind: W 5-10 mph
HIGH: Mid 60s
TUESDAY:
Sunny
Wind: N 5-10 mph
HIGH: Upper 60s
SUNRISE: 6:00 a.m. SUNSET: 8:09 p.m.
AVERAGE HIGH: 75° AVERAGE LOW: 56°
Stay with Storm Team4 for the latest forecast. Download the NBC Washington app on iOS and Android to get severe weather alerts on your phone.
An 18-year-old who was shot and wounded in Northwest D.C.’s Tenleytown neighborhood on Thursday afternoon has died, authorities say.
Brady Flowers Jr., of Southwest, was the victim, police said in an update Saturday.
Flowers was found shot in the 4500 block of Wisconsin Avenue NW, behind the CVS store. Jackson-Reed High School and American University are nearby.
Flowers was rushed to a hospital with life-threatening injuries and pronounced dead a day later, police said.
Police said 10-15 teens were seen running after the gunshots.
An investigation is underway. Anyone with potentially relevant information is asked to contact police.
News4 sends breaking news stories by email. Go here to sign up to get breaking news alerts in your inbox.
Washington
Governor Moore Continues “Delivering for Maryland” Tour in Washington County, Highlighting Transportation Infrastructure, Economic Development, and Early Childhood Education
Updated:
ANNAPOLIS, MD — Governor Wes Moore today continued his statewide “Delivering for Maryland” tour with a series of engagements in Washington County, highlighting vital investments in local transportation infrastructure, manufacturing job growth, and early childhood education. The governor emphasized state contributions to modernize the Hagerstown Regional Airport, toured the state-of-the-art Hitachi Rail facility, and celebrated the opening of a new child care center in the South End of Hagerstown funded by the administration’s historic ENOUGH Initiative.
“From investing $1.5 million to update Hagerstown Regional Airport’s aging control tower to supporting 1,300 jobs at Hitachi Rail, the Moore-Miller administration is delivering for Hagerstown, Washington County, and Western Maryland,” said Gov. Moore. “Through our administration’s ENOUGH Initiative partnerships and investments, we’ve tripled child care capacity in the South End of Hagerstown — because no parents should be forced to pick between staying in the workforce or securing quality care for their kids.”
The governor began the day at the Hagerstown Regional Airport, touring the Air Traffic Control Tower and airport grounds. During the visit, Governor Moore highlighted the State’s $1.5 million Fiscal Year 2027 investment to complete the design for a critical replacement of the airport’s aging air traffic control facility. As a primary airport in the Maryland Aviation System Plan, the Hagerstown Regional Airport is a vital economic engine for Washington County, supporting more than 1,800 jobs and generating over $140 million in local business revenue.
Following the airport tour, Governor Moore visited the Hitachi Rail STS facility alongside Congresswoman April McClain Delaney, Senator Mike McKay, Senator Paul Corderman and state transportation leaders. The governor toured the factory floor and rode a test train to observe the manufacturing process. Opened in September 2025 with the support of a $1.6 million state conditional loan, the 307,000-square-foot, carbon-neutral facility is a $100 million capital investment by Hitachi. The factory supports 1,300 jobs — including 460 newly created jobs — and is actively manufacturing railcars for both the Maryland Transit Administration and the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority.
“Hitachi Rail has built a cutting-edge model for advanced manufacturing here in Western Maryland which is focused on delivering clean, safe, efficient regional transportation across our state and the rest of the country,” said Congresswoman April McClain Delaney. “This facility is powered by Maryland’s second-to-none workforce and world-class innovation environment. I’m proud to work with Governor Moore and our public, private, and philanthropic partners to drive global investment that supports jobs and economic growth along our I-270 Tech Corridor.”
Governor Moore concluded the day at the Children’s Learning and Empowerment Center in the South End of Hagerstown, where he met with parents, children, and community leaders. During the visit, the Governor highlighted the administration’s ENOUGH Initiative, which provided critical support for the center’s opening. The new facility is a major win for the community, tripling local childcare capacity with 24 new slots and generating six new early childhood education jobs.
The Children’s Learning and Empowerment Center’s opening was accelerated by a $100,000 investment from San Mar Family & Community Services, the ENOUGH grantee in Hagerstown. ENOUGH grant funding was also supplemented by a $100,000 philanthropic contribution from the Bainum Family Foundation — a member of the ENOUGH Alliance — to complete necessary facility upgrades. The center’s completion underscores the strength of the ENOUGH Initiative’s public-private partnerships to deliver on community priorities and work towards ending child poverty.
Governor Moore’s visit to Washington County follows the third stop of his “Delivering for Maryland” tour in Montgomery County, where he marked a historic milestone by installing the final segment of rail for the Purple Line. This installation completes the 16.2-mile light rail corridor connecting Bethesda and New Carrollton, with passenger service expected to begin in late 2027. The governor also visited Max’s Best Ice Cream in Bethesda, a local business dedicated to creating meaningful employment opportunities for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities through the Best Buddies Jobs program.
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