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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom dumped stepdad and wants to coo about her new love to her kid

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2 years ago

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom dumped stepdad and wants to coo about her new love to her kid


Hi, Carolyn: My mom recently fell in love with someone she reconnected with from her college days, divorced my stepdad and is happy as can be.

She sends me examples of the sweet nothings he writes to her, talks about their “song,” etc. Basically, normal things people do in the honeymoon phase of being in love.

But it’s driving me nuts! I don’t want to hear it. I’m sad about my stepdad, and although I 100 percent want her to be happy, I am admittedly holding my breath a little until the mooniness quiets down and I can tell this is the real deal.

She’s hurt that I’m not being supportive, and will make comments such as, “At least [so-and-so] wants me to be happy.”

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Am I being a jerk for not unreservedly embracing this?

Anonymous: “Unreservedly” is about your feelings; you can’t be a jerk for having feelings, just for acting on them selfishly.

Do you see any selfishness in your letter?

I see plenty, but none of it appears to be yours. Your mom discarded your stepdad possibly with infidelity and apparently without compassion. And she’s oversharing shmoopie new love details without regard for your interest in them. And seems unwilling to consider that you can simultaneously care about your stepdad, want her happiness and want a little distance from it all.

Plus the theme song of this me-parade, “At least [so-and-so] wants me to be happy,” makes me want to jam my thumbs a little too hard into my own eyeballs.

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So, no, I am not inclined to call you a jerk. Respecting your own discomfort is not selfish. Plus, you’ve clearly gone out of your way to be mindful of others’ feelings.

To that end, yes, honeymoon phases are gushy (and self-absorbed). And to really stretch the going-out-of-your-wayness, your mom arguably could also have been worn down by her marriage to your stepdad in ways no one outside the marriage could see.

So your patience with her is actually kind of sweet — assuming she didn’t groom you for it over a lifetime of woe-is-me emotional manipulation.

If you’re not sure which it is, then you can probably find out. Merely say this, next time she whines about what she perceives as your lack of support, and see how she reacts: “Mom, I 100 percent want you to be happy. But as your kid, I just don’t want gory details.”

She will be able to grasp this, easily, if she’s able to see far enough past herself to accept your right to say no.

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Dear Carolyn: My husband and I have been married almost six decades. I can’t count the number of younger people who ask me what the secret is to a long marriage. What do I say? If I tell the truth about the constant work it is, it could discourage them from marriage. If I say, “Oh, just love each other,” that wouldn’t be true. What else could I say?

Still Working on It: The point is to answer honestly, not to answer in a way that preserves their willingness to marry. Isn’t it?

Ask them how detailed an answer they’d like, then speak from your experience accordingly. Ask more than you tell, even, to get at their concerns.

Presumably, that’s why people approach you. If they’re just looking to confirm their biases, then that’s not your problem, either. It’s theirs.

They may also intend only pleasant conversation and not expect serious counsel.

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You are also, always, free not to advise on demand.



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Social media reacts to former BYU star AJ Dybantsa going No. 1 in 2026 NBA draft

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4 hours ago

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June 23, 2026

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Social media reacts to former BYU star AJ Dybantsa going No. 1 in 2026 NBA draft


Former BYU basketball star AJ Dybantsa fulfilled his dream of going No. 1 overall in the 2026 NBA draft.

The Washington Wizards selected Dybantsa with the first pick.

Immediately after the pick, reactions poured in on social media about the Wizards drafting Dybantsa.

Social media reactions to the Washington Wizards selecting BYU star AJ Dybantsa

Mitch Harper is a BYU Insider for KSL and hosts the Cougar Tracks Podcast daily on KSL Sports YouTube and KSL NewsRadio (SUBSCRIBE). Harper also co-hosts Cougar Sports Saturday (12–3 p.m.) on KSL NewsRadio.

Follow Mitch’s coverage of BYU athletics in the Big 12 Conference on X (formerly Twitter) and Instagram: @Mitch_Harper.

Want more coverage of BYU sports? Take us with you wherever you go.

Download the new and improved KSL Sports app from Utah’s sports leader. Allows you to stream live radio and video, keeping you up to date on all your favorite teams.

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Washington Commanders announce 2026 training camp schedule

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15 hours ago

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June 23, 2026

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Washington Commanders announce 2026 training camp schedule


ASHBURN, Va. – The Washington Commanders have released their 2026 Training Camp schedule, with eleven open practices between August 1 and August 19, including five open to all fans and six reserved for season ticket members.

For the fifth straight year, training camp will take place at the team’s football operations headquarters in Ashburn, Virginia. 

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Open practices for all fans are scheduled for August 1, August 7, August 8, August 18 and August 19.

 Season ticket member practices will be held August 3, 4, 5, 10, 11 and 12. 

All sessions begin at 8:30 a.m., with gates opening at 7:30 a.m.

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Fans can claim free tickets beginning June 23 at 10 a.m. General admission fans may request up to six tickets and one parking pass for a single day of camp. Season ticket members can claim tickets for two member‑exclusive days in addition to one general admission day. All parking will be on site at the BigBear.ai Performance Center and requires a parking pass.

The team plans several themed events throughout camp, including Back Together Weekend on August 1, Military Appreciation Day on August 7 and Kids Day on August 8. Local youth football and community groups will also be hosted throughout the summer.

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For more information visit the Washington Commanders online.

The Source: Information in this article comes from the Washington Commanders.

SportsWashington CommandersWashington, D.C.
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Algae-filled Washington pool to be drained for repairs after US$14.7 million renovation

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1 day ago

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June 23, 2026

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Algae-filled Washington pool to be drained for repairs after US.7 million renovation


The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool on Washington’s National Mall is set to be drained again for repairs after algae and peeling paint appeared just weeks after a US$14.7 million renovation, while President Donald Trump threatened prison time for anyone caught ‌damaging the pool.

The DC Water authority issued a permit to drain the 609-metre rectangular pool, it said on Monday, while the repair company said it would fix the pool as part of its warranty.

Peeling paint and algae growth have been visible in the pool since soon after Trump declared the renovation project complete on June 6. Critics have raised concerns about the no-bid contract to recoat the pool before the ⁠nation’s 250th anniversary celebrations next month, as well as for the ducks that use its water. Workers from the National Park Service earlier this ‌week poured hydrogen peroxide into the pool to combat the algae.

Trump, without evidence, has blamed vandals for the state of the landmark. On Monday, he echoed a weekend threat ‌by US Attorney Jeanine Pirro to prosecute people accused of attempting to destroy the pool.

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“Please remember that there is ⁠a 10-year prison sentence for the ⁠destruction, or even the attempted destruction, of such things – Which will be fully enforced!” Trump earlier wrote in a social media post. Destruction of federal property can ‌carry a maximum prison sentence of 10 years.

It was not immediately apparent what criminal or civil violation someone might commit reaching into the pool.



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