Kids need empathy alongside parental limits, and what you’re responding to with your stepdaughter is that this balance seems out of whack. By your account, your stepdaughter doesn’t allow for her daughter’s discomfort, which she needs to experience to develop resilience and a sense of competence in the world. Maybe this is because of the way that your stepdaughter was parented, and she’s either trying to emulate or move away from that.

Sometimes, too, single parents fear being the “bad guy” when they are navigating divorce or compensating for the pain from a divorce by “protecting” the child with extra tenderness. Or maybe your stepdaughter feels that adopting her own parenting style is one of the few ways she can maintain a sense of control while dealing with an uncooperative ex.

In families that have more adults in the house, kids benefit from seeing different ways of handling situations, and while you don’t live with your granddaughter, you are one of those adults in her life. You can adopt an aquarium approach, allowing her to express her emotions without your contempt (she’s not a “brat,” she’s struggling with emotional regulation) while also setting clear expectations and offering brief explanations for your decisions. (You can’t eat the cookies now because we’re about to have dinner, but you can have them after.) If your granddaughter pouts in response, you don’t need to react — you could redirect her by inviting her to play a game with you instead, and still be warm but nonreactive if she rejects this and continues pouting.

The more comfortable your granddaughter feels being with you, the more time you might get with her without her mother present. (As a single mom, your stepdaughter might enjoy the downtime!) You may be surprised by how a child can adapt to different expectations in different environments when those expectations are delivered with warmth and consistency.

You can also work on strengthening your relationship with your stepdaughter by not bringing up your differences. When she feels seen and valued by you, she may even become interested in the kind of parenting you’re modeling instead of what she likely perceives now as intrusive criticism. But even if she doesn’t adjust her tendency to over explain, her daughter’s witnessing of a friendly and noncombative relationship between you two will likely make this girl more inclined to trust you and be more receptive to your approach. And when you feel that surge of frustration from watching your stepdaughter parent, pause to ask yourself what beliefs or experiences might be informing your response. This self-awareness can help you engage more constructively with both your stepdaughter and granddaughter.

In the end, you can’t control how your stepdaughter raises her daughter, but you can control how you show up in the family dynamic. You might need to adjust your expectations and recognize that your influence will be greatest if you can position yourself as an ally, rather than as a critic.

Want to Ask the Therapist? If you have a question, email askthetherapist@nytimes.com. By submitting a query, you agree to our reader submission terms. This column is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

Tom Cruise & Ana de Armas
Keep Dating Rumors Swirling …
Laughing in London!!!

Published March 16, 2025 6:00 PM PDT

In January, I was in a taxi driving through London’s Soho neighborhood when I looked out the window and saw a line of people stretched down an entire city block. It was after dark, but folks were still crowded onto the sidewalk, some huddled together to shield themselves from the cold and mist. Was it for a concert? A show? What was I missing? As my car turned the corner, it became clear: They were all waiting to enter the Louis Vuitton x Takashi Murakami pop-up.

The space occupied two stories, with a cafe on the top. The bottom floor was painted a bright “Brat” green, and the upper floor a sweet Hello Kitty-esque shade of pink. The windows, like the products inside, were covered in the brand’s signature interlocking L and V monogram. I was amazed not only by the scale of the operation but also by the fact that, over two decades since the original collaboration, the reissue, which is twofold and will see the release of a total of around 200 pieces starting this year, was able to attract such frenzied attention.

Louis Vuitton x Murakami Speedy Bandoulière 25 (top) and Coussin PM

When fashion designer Marc Jacobs debuted his Louis Vuitton collection with Murakami, a Japanese artist, in the spring of 2003, he called their mind-meld a “monumental marriage between art and business.” It marked the fact that, by that point, fashion and pop culture had become one, with celebrities on the cover of Vogue magazine instead of models, and paparazzi photos dictating sales.

A similar thing was happening in the art world too. Murakami, who is credited with founding the Superflat movement, which finds inspiration and art historical significance in two-dimensional imagery like Japanese manga and anime, was making a career out of combining what was then considered “highbrow” and “lowbrow.” The piece that got Jacobs’ attention, for example, was a fiberglass cartoon sculpture of a woman called “Hiropon,” whose super-size breasts produced a thick stream of milk that wrapped around her like a lasso. Jacobs, who served as creative director of Louis Vuitton from 1997 to 2013, told reporters at the time that “something snapped” when he saw Murakami’s Hiropon on the cover of a Christie’s catalog, and he reached out for a meeting. Murakami, meanwhile, said he’d never heard of Louis Vuitton before.

Before the Vuitton x Murakami collaboration, cross-pollination of this nature was rare. “I grew up in the art world with a lot of quote-unquote ‘serious artists’ who would certainly look down upon getting involved in a more commercial thing like that,” says Gabriel Held, 39, a New York-based stylist and vintage archivist. “But [Jacobs] got heavy-hitters in the art world to participate.”

Louis Vuitton x Murakami Nice Mini

Louis Vuitton x Murakami Monogram Multicolor LV Outline Headband

In 2001, Vuitton collaborated with pop-punk artist Stephen Sprouse on a run of handbags featuring the brand’s logo in a graffiti-like font, and in 2002, British artist Julie Verhoeven covered bags in colorful graphics. Following Murakami, other big-ticket artists including Richard Prince, Yayoi Kusama, Cindy Sherman and Jeff Koons expressed their Vuitton vision as well. The collaboration boosted Murakami’s profile to new heights, with his pop-y, rainbow aesthetic providing a fresh update to the brown-on-brown monogram from 1896 that the brand was known for, ultimately helping it capture the attention of a younger audience. Fandom on both sides for the limited-edition products created what we now commonly refer to as “hype.”

“I always describe the bags as being like beautiful white jawbreakers with saccharine colors all over them,” says Liana Satenstein, 35, a writer who focuses on the vintage market. The iconic “Monogram Multicolore” that Murakami introduced in 2003 fused the “LV” monogram with small florals, creating a new pattern with 33 colors that popped on an all-white background. “A beautiful, happy, dopamine-injected piece,” in Satenstein’s eyes. He also introduced panda and pink cherry blossom motifs.

In December, when Vuitton announced that it was reissuing the Murakami collaboration with a campaign starring Zendaya, Satenstein covered the news on her Substack, “Neverworns.” She declared that the bags “defined the maximalist ’00s.” Stars of the decade, including Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan and Kim Kardashian, were all photographed carrying one. In 2004, Vogue asked if Jessica Simpson’s choice of a Murakami buckle bag made her “the next Sarah Jessica Parker,” Satenstein pointed out.

“I worked with somebody over the summer who is not really a fashion person but of my age, and one thing on her wish list was a Murakami bag,” says Held. “Even for people who aren’t that invested in fashion, they have a desire for it still. It was a pop-culture moment.”

According to Kelly McSweeney, senior merchandising manager at the RealReal, a vintage marketplace, search interest in the original Louis Vuitton x Murakami collaboration “skyrocketed overnight” when the reissue was released on Jan. 3, with a 463% increase in searches day-over-day. The momentum continued into Jan. 4, climbing another 55% as the buzz around the collaboration intensified. “Reflecting this renewed excitement, resale prices for pieces from the collection have also soared, up 50% year-over-year,” McSweeney adds.

Louis Vuitton x Murakami Monogram Multicolor Chouchous

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All of the links to vintage bags that Satenstein shared in her newsletter have since sold. “I should have bought like, five, of them,” she says in retrospect.

With the Y2K revival trend seemingly at its peak, nostalgia for the carefree innocence of the ’00s made this moment ripe for a Murakami relaunch. In fact, it’s a wonder Vuitton didn’t do it sooner. Some collectors will seek out the originals they maybe couldn’t afford at full price in high school, and others will line up for a second chance at the new thing. Judging by the crowd waiting outside the pop-up in London, many eager customers are perhaps excitedly discovering the collaboration for the first time, as they were probably in diapers in 2003.

Archival pieces are displayed behind glass across seven Louis Vuitton x Murakami pop-ups worldwide, from Milan to New York to Seoul to Shanghai to Tokyo to Singapore. But of course, the main draw is the new accessories, which will be released in various “chapters” throughout 2025, according to the brand. Chapter 1 celebrated Murakami’s original Multicolore monogram, while Chapter 2, launching this month, will feature 2003’s equally sought-after “Cherry Blossom” pattern on bags, shoes and trunks.

Before it closed on Feb. 9, customers at the London pop-up sipped from Murakami-branded cups at the cafe and ate cakes and pastries off Murakami-branded napkins. The staff wore kimono pajamas and sat on smiling Murakami flower pillows. The scene was simultaneously futuristic and nostalgic. After making a purchase, customers were given a token to put into a special vending machine, which spat out Louis Vuitton x Murakami novelty items, including stickers and trading cards.

When I got out of my taxi and arrived at my hotel, I told the friend I was meeting to pull her original Vuitton x Murakami bag out of her closet immediately. She was thrilled, but also, her curiosity was piqued. Should we get in line too?

Emilia Petrarca is a freelance fashion and culture writer based in Brooklyn.