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Grieving Covid Losses, Five Years Later

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Grieving Covid Losses, Five Years Later

Sophie Park for The New York Times

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In April 2020, when Sara Rochon lost her oldest brother to Covid, her grief felt all-consuming.

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From her home in Florida, Ms. Rochon was pained by thoughts of her brother’s last days, alone without his wife, children and siblings in his hospital room in Ohio. In those early, paralyzing weeks of the coronavirus pandemic, Ms. Rochon could not attend his funeral, a gathering limited to only a handful of immediate family members who lived nearby.

“It was unbearable,” she said.

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Five years later, Ms. Rochon still thinks of her brother, Joseph Hanna, nearly every day.

But her grief has changed shape. Now when Mr. Hanna pops into her head, she remembers his face cracking a grin, his shock of thick white hair, his six-foot-one figure striding into a room.

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Sara Rochon, right, and her sister, Nina Hanna, at their brother’s gravesite in Youngstown, Ohio.

Maddie McGarvey for The New York Times

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This grief led to changes in her own life. Ms. Rochon, a retired teacher, decided to move back to Ohio, to be closer to her family.

“I can think of him with a smile and not a tear,” she said. “My grief hasn’t gone away. It’s just different.”

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More than 1.2 million Americans died in the coronavirus pandemic. For their grieving families, the fifth anniversary of the pandemic’s beginning is an aching reminder of what they have lost.

Rituals were upended. Families were robbed of the ability to care for their loved ones, which, under normal circumstances, can help ease their emotional pain. The deaths themselves were often endured from a distance, with nurses holding up iPads to allow the sick to say goodbye to their relatives and spouses. And afterward, families were left to congregate and remember their loved ones by Zoom.

“It was a perfect storm of all the bad things,” said Holly Prigerson, chair of diagnostics in radiology at Weill Cornell Medicine and a longtime researcher on grief.

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Just as Covid continues to affect people who are older or have underlying health conditions, it also still has a hold on bereaved families, five years on.

In interviews, many people say they are still mired in anger and crushing grief, unable to forget the particular cruelty of the pandemic: that their spouses, relatives and close friends often died alone.

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Some mourners have found light after darkness. Since the pandemic, they have grown closer with their families and friends, embraced their own lives with more vigor and purpose, or turned to music or writing as a way to stitch themselves back together.

Still others say they are occupying a middle ground of grief.

Mary Anna Ball, a graduate student who lost several close family friends to Covid in her home state of West Virginia, said that she felt as though she would never catch up with her own mourning.

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“It still feels kind of incomplete,” she said. “It doesn’t feel like there is that closure on any of it.”

Cleaved in Two

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In Ann Arbor, Mich., Lisa Murray is still grieving her mother-in-law, Sandy Gatti, who died from the virus in February 2021.

Ms. Murray is no stranger to loss. Her own mother died in hospice in 2023, but that passing came peacefully, with family present.

“Sandy’s death stands out to me,” she said. “It feels like the hole has not closed, the wound has not closed. There’s this sense of injustice. Her death was so unnecessary. She was so close to getting a vaccine.”

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Joy Netanya Thompson, an editor at a tech company in La Verne, Calif., lost her father to Covid in the summer of 2020, and then her beloved grandmother six months afterward.

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Joy Netanya Thompson with a sewing box that belonged to her grandmother, who died six months after her father.

Morgan Lieberman for The New York Times

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“It feels so unmooring to lose a parent,” Ms. Thompson said. “It really feels like a part of you has been erased from the earth. And that was very profound.”

But it was the way Ms. Thompson’s father died — the isolation after weeks in the hospital — that made her grief linger, years later. She felt that her life had been cleaved in two: Before Grief and After Grief.

When her grandfather died in hospice care in 2023, she immediately felt the stark contrast between how he and her father spent their final days.

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“I got to say goodbye to him,” Ms. Thompson said of her grandfather. “I got to hold his hand a couple different times in the last couple weeks. I got to tell him everything I wanted to tell him. And then we got to have a big memorial service and celebrate him. So I got to see the difference when you get to do the normal rituals.”

Looking Back in Anger

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Like many Covid mourners, Amy Morris, 52, is still fighting one powerful emotion: anger.

Ms. Morris, who lives in Charlotte, N.C., watched helplessly from afar in late 2020 as her mother, Ilene Craft Boger, 85, fell ill in her assisted living facility and was transferred to a hospital. Ms. Boger, an accomplished jazz pianist who dressed impeccably, died a month later.

“The manner of her death still fills me with such rage that it takes my breath away,” Ms. Morris said.

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Brian Owens, an artistic director in the film industry, has lost two aunts, an uncle and a nephew because of Covid.

He still feels a mix of frustration and grief. Though Mr. Owens’s family was in the United States, he was living in Canada, where Covid restrictions were far more stringent.

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“You went to the grocery store and that was about it,” he said. “So that comparison added a layer of anger to the whole thing for me. I feel like so many of those deaths were preventable and we just didn’t prevent them.”

Others who lost relatives to the virus said they were dogged by lingering guilt.

Arjun Jalan, who lives in Boston, thinks about his father, far away in India.

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“I hadn’t seen my mom in 15 months and would never see her again,” Arjun Jalan said of his mother, who died in the pandemic.

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Sophie Park for The New York Times

Mr. Jalan’s mother, known in the family as a phenomenal hostess and cook, died in 2021, leaving his father widowed. For a long time, Mr. Jalan could not bear to look at photos of his mother. His father urged him to keep moving forward, to not worry about him or his loneliness.

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Writing Your Way Through It

Before the pandemic, Nicholas Montemarano’s identity was wrapped around his love of fiction. He read relentlessly, wrote novels and taught creative writing at Franklin & Marshall College in Lancaster, Pa.

But when his mother, Catherine, died of Covid in January 2021, Mr. Montemarano found himself turning to poetry instead. He wrote a memoir, an elegy to his mother, in verse.

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I’m trying to make my bed and brush my teeth.I’m trying to remember her voicebefore her lungs quit. Song sparrows fly twigsto the flowerbed outside my window.This morning in overgrown grass under light rain,a butterfly alighted on my face.

He is one of many Covid mourners who have discovered more personal ways to resolve their grief.

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For Kim Lowe, a filmmaker in Boston, that relief was found after the pandemic left a gaping hole in her sprawling family in Massachusetts.

Ms. Lowe’s mother died during the pandemic in 2021, though doctors could not determine the cause. Then all four of her mother’s siblings fell ill and died within the next two years, two from Covid and two from what Ms. Lowe called “collateral Covid” — when they could not easily see a doctor and saw their health falter as a result.

“It felt like an entire generation had been wiped out,” she said. “It was physical pain, it was mental pain, it was all-encompassing grief.”

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Ms. Lowe has fought through much of her grief by leaning on her own generation, the cousins who live around the Boston area. Together, they have written down their family stories and history, including a beloved recipe for Portuguese soup — one that her mother’s generation kept only in their heads.

On the fifth anniversary of the pandemic, Ms. Lowe feels like a changed person.

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“I felt as if I was given a gift of perspective and love and gratitude,” she said. “I make people feel so awkward because I’m always telling them how much I love them and appreciate them. I’m so much more loving and present.”

Gwendolyn W. Williams, who lives in Los Angeles, last saw two of her closest friends on Christmas Eve in 2019, when she made her usual 45-minute drive to their assisted living home for a visit.

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Two of Gwendolyn Williams’s friends died in the same assisted living facility during the pandemic.

Morgan Lieberman for The New York Times

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Both friends contracted Covid and died — only eight days apart — when the virus swept through the facility in 2020.

Today, Ms. Williams said she moves through life a little differently. She was always devoted to her friends, some close enough to feel like family. But now even a passing thought can prompt her to call or text someone.

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“I don’t let the moment pass me by,” Ms. Williams said. “You do what you can for people, you love when you can do it.”

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U.S. to Withdraw From Group Investigating Responsibility for Ukraine Invasion

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U.S. to Withdraw From Group Investigating Responsibility for Ukraine Invasion

The Justice Department has quietly informed European officials that the United States is withdrawing from a multinational group created to investigate leaders responsible for the invasion of Ukraine, including President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, according to people familiar with the situation.

The decision to withdraw from the International Center for the Prosecution of the Crime of Aggression against Ukraine, which the Biden administration joined in 2023, is the latest indication of the Trump administration’s move away from President Joseph R. Biden Jr.’s commitment to holding Mr. Putin personally accountable for crimes committed against Ukrainians.

The group was created to hold the leadership of Russia, along with its allies in Belarus, North Korea and Iran, accountable for a category of crimes — defined as aggression under international law and treaties that violates another country’s sovereignty and is not initiated in self-defense.

The decision, the people familiar with the situation said, is expected to be announced on Monday in an email to the staff and membership of the group’s parent organization, the European Union Agency for Criminal Justice Cooperation, better known as Eurojust.

The United States was the only country outside Europe to cooperate with the group, sending a senior Justice Department prosecutor to The Hague to work with investigators from Ukraine, the Baltic States and Romania.

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A department spokesman did not immediately respond to a request for comment on Sunday night.

The Trump administration is also reducing work done by the department’s War Crimes Accountability Team, created in 2022 by the attorney general at the time, Merrick B. Garland, and staffed by experienced prosecutors. It was intended to coordinate Justice Department efforts to hold Russians accountable who are responsible for atrocities committed in the aftermath of the full invasion three years ago.

“There is no hiding place for war criminals,” Mr. Garland said in announcing the organization of the unit.

The department, he added, “will pursue every avenue of accountability for those who commit war crimes and other atrocities in Ukraine.”

During the Biden administration, the team, known as WarCAT, focused on an important supporting role: providing Ukraine’s overburdened prosecutors and law enforcement with logistical help, training and direct assistance in bringing charges of war crimes committed by Russians to Ukraine’s courts.

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The team did bring one significant case. In December 2023, U.S. prosecutors used a war crimes statute for the first time since it was enacted nearly three decades ago to charge four Russian soldiers in absentia with torturing an American who was living in the Kherson region of Ukraine.

In recent comments, President Trump has moved closer to Mr. Putin while clashing with Ukraine’s president, Volodymyr Zelensky — going so far as to falsely suggest that Ukraine played a role in provoking Russia’s brutal and illegal military incursion.

“You should have never started it,” Mr. Trump said in February, referring to Ukraine’s leaders. “You could have made a deal.” He followed up in a post on social media, calling Mr. Zelensky a “Dictator without Elections” and saying he had “done a terrible job” in office.

The Trump administration gave no reason for withdrawing from the investigative group other than the same explanation for other personnel and policy moves: the need to redeploy resources, according to the people familiar with the situation, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the moves publicly.

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Young Americans lose trust in the state

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Young Americans lose trust in the state

Young Americans’ confidence in the apparatus of government has dropped dramatically to one of the lowest levels in any prosperous country, a Financial Times analysis of Gallup data shows. 

The Gallup polls, conducted by surveying 70,000 people globally over the course of 2023 and 2024, found that less than a third of under-30s in the US trust the government. The proportion of US young people who said they lack freedom to choose what to do with their lives also hit a record high at 31 per cent in 2024 — a level worse than all other rich economies, bar Greece and Italy. 

“[For younger people in the US] the future seems kind of bleak,” said Julie Ray, managing editor at Gallup. 

While the Gallup poll does not cover the direct repercussions of US President Donald Trump’s second term, experts believe that rising political polarisation is likely to lead to a sharp drop in trust in future surveys. 

Connor Brennan, a 25-year-old financial economics PhD student at the University of Chicago, and disillusioned Republican, said he trusted the “big figures” in politics “a little less” now than in the past. 

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“Friends, families these days are more and more torn apart by politics and seeing that (politics) taken as almost entertainment,” Brennan said. “It should be boring . . . it really has become more and more like, you watch the latest episode of the sitcom.”

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The proportion of young people in the US reporting no confidence in the judicial system also hit a record high in 2024, while more than a third of under-30s also do not trust the police. 

“I would not say I trust the government — a lot of things that have changed quite recently that call the government’s ability to be honest with the American people into question,” said Daniel Quezada, a 22-year-old substitute teacher in Arkansas, adding that he also had a “profound, profound sense of scepticism” regarding the police after being peacefully involved in protests in 2020. 

Elsewhere in the world, young people in Greece and Italy are among the most dissatisfied with public services and confidence in institutions. Nordic economies, such as Finland, Denmark and Norway, tend to be the best performers.

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Some 61 per cent of young people in the US also reported having recently experienced stress, the third-highest proportion among advanced economies after Greece and Canada. 

Daniel Quezada
Daniel Quezada: ‘A lot of things that have changed quite recently that call the government’s ability to be honest with the American people into question’ © Daniel Quezada

US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention data show US emergency department visits for self-harm reached 384 people per 100,000 population among those aged 10 to 29 in 2022, up from 260 a decade earlier and four times the rate for those aged 30 and over.

The collapse in young people’s happiness in the US and elsewhere has been pinned on factors ranging from political polarisation, stagnating quality of life to difficulties in getting on the property ladder.

Haifang Huang, an economics professor at the University of Alberta, referred to “a laundry list” of factors, including labour-market challenges after the 2008-09 global financial crisis, the high cost of housing and rising inequality among the young exacerbated by inheritance and parental supports. “It is hard to evaluate their relative contributions.”

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Social psychologist Jonathan Haidt in his book, The Anxious Generation, blames the mental health crisis in all main Anglosphere countries on the mass adoption of smartphones, along with the advent of social media and addictive online gaming.

John Helliwell, a founding editor of Gallup’s World Happiness Report, said that the trends in the data supported the view that the decline in trust and wellbeing among young people “has something to do with the kind of stories being told on social media”. 

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Political polarisation, meanwhile, had also resulted in a “situation where there’s no agreed set of common information”. 

“If there’s nobody who you believe, then of course, your trust is going to be low in everybody,” Helliwell said. “That’s been increasingly happening in the US, because people are denying each other’s facts and living in their own media isolation.”

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While young Americans are relatively upbeat about their economic prospects — a reflection of their higher-than-average earnings and low unemployment rate — some are becoming gloomy about growth too.  

“The economy isn’t doing great — there were a lot of issues with relatively high inflation and high cost of living, massive wealth inequality, concerns with employment that were iterated by both sides in the election leading up to this year,” said Misha Newbold, a 20-year-old student at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore who grew up in Kansas. 

Newbold added that he disagreed with cuts to federal agencies undertaken by technology billionaire Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (Doge). “I think cutting employment opportunities, shrinking a lot of the government agencies that make this country run . . . is actually counter-productive to the employment concerns.”

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Brennan, meanwhile, said he was increasingly concerned about the US’s fiscal position, with the national debt set to balloon over the coming decade. 

He also thinks an economic crisis borne of Trump’s policies would not be viewed by the president’s supporters as being down to mistakes made by the White House.

“That’s what worries me the most — that, even if we are confronted with issues that should cause us to have some sort of come to Jesus moment, I don’t think we’ll come to Jesus.”

Data visualisation by Valentina Romei and Alan Smith in London

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Residents survey the aftermath of deadly weekend storms across the southern U.S.

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Residents survey the aftermath of deadly weekend storms across the southern U.S.

Destruction from a severe storm is seen on Saturday, March 15, 2025, in Wayne County, Mo.

Jeff Roberson/AP


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Jeff Roberson/AP

Residents in large swaths of the southern U.S. on Sunday took stock of the devastation left in the wake of tornadoes, strong winds and dust storms over the weekend.

The severe weather left at least 37 people dead, and destroyed scores of homes.

This bout of storms was forecast to clear the East Coast by Sunday night, according to the National Weather Service.

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In Missouri, where 12 people died, first responders and road crews worked to clear debris, restore power to homes, and distribute recovery supplies.

Gov. Mike Kehoe’s office said Sunday that hundreds of homes, schools and businesses were destroyed of severely damaged, with some burned from wildfires aggravated by high winds.

“The scale of devastation across our state is staggering,” Gov. Kehoe said. “While we grieve the lives of those lost, we are also focused on action.”

In Butler County, a man was killed after a tornado ripped through his home. Coroner Jim Akers told the AP that the twister left his home “unrecognizable” with “just a debris field.”

Hurricane force winds in Oklahoma, fueled deadly wildfires and dust storms. Residents there spent Saturday surveying fire damage, after more than 170,000 acres burned.

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By Sunday afternoon, an early assessment from local officials identified more than 400 homes damaged statewide. Four people died and 142 others were injured due to the fires and winds, officials said.

Cheryl Rabet of Stillwater lost her home in the blazes, as well as two RVs she rented out, reported KOSU’s Lionel Ramos.

“We didn’t have a chance to grab anything,” she said, including their 16-year-old cat Momo. “We grabbed one of our cats and that was about it.”

The Red Cross and other relief efforts have been providing food and other resources for shelters across parts of Oklahoma and other affected regions.

Brady Moore, Stillwater city manager, warned that it may still be unsafe for residents to return to neighborhoods in the path of destruction, while crews work to repair downed powerlines and shut off water and gas lines.

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Damage assessments in the majority of Alabama counties continued on Sunday, said Gov. Kay Ivey. Three people died in the state, she said.

In Troy, Ala., where a tornado flipped an 18-wheeler truck, about 200 people took shelter at a recreation center, reported local CBS station WAKA News.

“Right as the last people got in, the storm passed over, blowing out windows in cars in the parking lot, and tearing off part of the gymnasium roof,” said Dan Smith, the director of the city’s parks and recreation department. “Our sports complex, including the baseball and softball park, also suffered major damage. But we’re very fortunate—it could’ve been a lot worse.”

There were no injuries.

In Texas on Sunday, fire crews were battling a 9,500-acres blaze in Fredericksburg, in central Texas. The grass fire was more than half contained as of Sunday evening, according to the Texas A&M Forest Service.

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Across the state, more than 42,000 acres were burning from 36 fires on Sunday night, the service said.

The threat of fires was expected to continue into the week, with a red flag warning – signaling a high risk of wildfire conditions — was expected to be reinstated for South Central Texas on Monday, as Texas Public Radio reported.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott said Sunday that the state was granted federal assistance to help fight the fires.

“Texas is working around the clock to provide all necessary resources to local officials fighting wildfires in Gray and Gillespie counties,” he said.

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