Connect with us

Lifestyle

Learning a Shared Love Language — One That Includes Signing

Published

on

Learning a Shared Love Language — One That Includes Signing

Jerald Jerard Creer and Kent Michael Williams chalk up the almost 15-year delay in becoming a couple to a struggle to communicate — one that had nothing to do with Mr. Creer’s Deafness.

Since June 2009, when the two met on a Carnival cruise ship, Mr. Williams had been texting Mr. Creer every few weeks asking for dates. Mr. Creer routinely turned him down. For years, Mr. Williams assumed it was because of his age. “Jerald told me when we met I was too young for him,” Mr. Williams said. (Mr. Creer is seven years older.)

The truth was more complicated.

The friendship that Mr. Williams, now 42, and Mr. Creer, 49, struck up while sailing from Miami to the Bahamas had obstacles from the start. Mr. Williams, an engineer at Cox Communications then living in Baltimore, was traveling alone. Mr. Creer, a social worker, teacher for deaf people and actor then living in Suitland, Md., was vacationing with his boyfriend. Both were part of a group of L.G.B.T.Q. people of color vacationing together.

Mr. Williams remembered seeing Mr. Creer outside the ship’s nightclub a day or two into the trip and feeling drawn to him. “He’s fine,” he recalled thinking.

Advertisement

But he didn’t know Mr. Creer was deaf, which resulted in a stilted conversation. Mr. Creer, who considers American Sign Language his first language, can read lips and make out sounds when wearing his hearing aids. But he struggles to decipher spoken words in dim lighting and loud environments.

“From time to time, I don’t know if my hearing counterparts are adjusting to being in conversation with me,” he said of the stiltedness. That was the case with Mr. Williams. Then, there was the matter of Mr. Williams’s social anxiety. “I’m shy and introverted,” he said. “I’m still trying to figure out why I would have gone up to Jerald in the first place.”

Only two things were clear to both by the time the vacation was in the rearview mirror: One, each found the other attractive. And two, “Kent was very, very shy,” Mr. Creer said.

Mr. Creer grew up in Richmond, Va., with five younger siblings. His parents, Pamela Smith and Jared Creer, discovered his deafness before his first birthday.

By middle school, he was attending events for the deaf community in Rochester, N.Y., where he moved to attend a private school. There, he found his first deaf role models: Rosalie Rockwell, who was a teacher at the school, and her husband, Dale. Both have since died.

Advertisement

“They told me about N.T.I.D.,” he said — the National Technical Institute for the Deaf, a college at Rochester Institute of Technology that trains deaf and hard of hearing students for tech careers, where Mr. Rockwell was a science professor.

At first, Mr. Creer was skeptical: “No one in my family ever went to or finished college.”

But at N.T.I.D., where he enrolled as a scholarship student in 1994, the world opened up. “I met deaf people of all races,” he said. His freshman year, he joined the Ebony Club, a campus group for deaf Black students, but quit because he felt he wasn’t intellectually on their level. Shirley J. Allen, a retired R.I.T. professor and the first Black deaf woman in the United States to earn a doctoral degree, pulled him aside and told him, “Don’t you ever give up.”

Mr. Creer earned two degrees from R.I.T., the first a bachelor’s in his double major, social work and performing arts. Years later, he finished a master’s degree in education. He now works as a drama and theater arts teacher at the Atlanta Area School for the Deaf in Clarkston, Ga.

Mr. Williams grew up in Baltimore with his parents, Darlene Winslow and Kent Williams Sr., two younger half sisters and a cousin he considers a third sister. At 17, he started college at Frostburg State University in Frostburg, Md., to study computer science. But at the time, he was struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. After a semester, he dropped out.

Advertisement

“I had attempted to kill myself,” said Mr. Williams, who was raised Christian. “Growing up in the church, I thought I was going to hell anyway.” (Mr. Creer said that he also attempted suicide during college for similar reasons and survived his depression with the help of his friends from theater, a creative outlet he had been pursuing since early childhood.) Instead of returning home to Baltimore, Mr. Williams moved to Dunnsville, Va., where his godmother lived. To support himself, he worked a series of retail jobs.

In 2003, after three years in Virginia, he returned to Baltimore and got an apartment with a friend and eventually a customer service job at Verizon. By 2009, he was ready to return to college, later earning a bachelor’s degree in information systems from the University of Maryland. In 2010, he moved to Atlanta.

The boyfriend Mr. Creer took the 2009 cruise with broke up with him shortly after they returned home to Maryland. Mr. Creer moved back to Rochester, where he started working as an ASL coach and teacher for deaf people. Heartbreak was nothing new to him, though for years he had tried to avoid it by dating older guys. Men his own age or younger “just wanted to play,” he said. “I didn’t like that.”

Mr. Williams made a promise to himself to keep in touch with Mr. Creer after the cruise, though the odds of an eventual romance, he knew, were against him. He didn’t know ASL, and it was hard to keep up with Mr. Creer’s relationship status. But he remained in the grips of an enormous crush. “I never stopped being attracted to him,” Mr. Williams said. “I made it very clear.”

He did so by texting Mr. Creer at least once a month, letting him know about travel plans and where and when he hoped they might be able to meet in person. Mr. Creer always answered, but usually with an excuse. “He would say, ‘No, I don’t think so, I can’t take the time off,’” Mr. Williams said. “I would say OK and continue to be cordial.” But occasionally they did meet up in cities like Washington, D.C.

Advertisement

Binge more Vows columns here and read all our wedding, relationship and divorce coverage here.

“I’d meet him for a local event or for dinner at some restaurant,” Mr. Williams said. Those visits sometimes turned romantic before they said good night. But Mr. Creer’s pattern of declining his invitations would soon pick up where it left off. “I figured, it is what it is,” Mr. Williams said. “You enjoy what you can get sometimes.”

In December 2023, Mr. Williams made plans to celebrate a friend’s birthday in Manhattan and asked Mr. Creer to meet him there, not realizing that New York is one of Mr. Creer’s favorite cities. In less than a day, Mr. Creer responded, “I’ll be there.”

“I was like, Oh my God, for real?” Mr. Williams said. “I was really happy.” Nervous, too.

At the DoubleTree by Hilton in Times Square, the two stayed up all night playing a conversational card game that Mr. Creer had brought, the couples edition of (The And) card game.

Advertisement

“It was so thought-provoking,” Mr. Creer said. “We answered questions like, What are you hesitating to tell me? What are you afraid of?” Both say they fell in love that night. “We understood each other in ways we hadn’t before,” Mr. Creer added.

That weekend, Mr. Williams finally understood Mr. Creer’s reluctance to accept his scores of invitations through the years. Mr. Creer’s reservations about dating younger men were real. “I was aiming for mature men who understood the struggle of life and who know what it takes to sustain a long-term relationship,” Mr. Creer said.

But there was something else, too. “Kent often goes on trips that I couldn’t afford,” he added. “I was a social worker and was embarrassed that I couldn’t go, either because of my schedule or because of money.”

At the end of the New York birthday celebration, Mr. Williams was ready to carve a path forward as a couple. “‘Are we dating exclusively?’” he asked Mr. Creer. “Jerald said, ‘I think we should. I’m going to make a point of investing in you.’”

Two weeks later, in January 2024, they met in Manhattan a second time. In March, they traveled to London for a friend’s wedding. By then, they were discussing living together in Atlanta. But not marriage. So it was a surprise when Mr. Creer proposed to Mr. Williams at the top of the London Eye Ferris wheel. “It was total disbelief,” Mr. Williams said. His yes brought tears to both.

Advertisement

“I’m deaf in a hearing world, and I’m signing all the time, but Kent doesn’t see me as different from anyone else,” Mr. Creer said. “I love his heart and his compassion and his generosity so much.”

Mr. Williams added, “I fell in love with how genuine he is, the heart that he has. He will do anything in his power to make someone else happy, even at the risk of making himself unhappy.”

In June, Mr. Creer moved into Mr. Williams’s home in Atlanta. On Feb. 28, 115 guests gathered at Kimball Hall in Roswell, Ga., for their wedding, which was officiated by Romell Parks-Weekly, a friend, an L.G.B.T.Q. activist and a pastor at the Sanctuary, a Christian church in St. Louis. Both men were escorted down the aisle by their parents.

The ceremony included two ASL interpreters and a rendition of John Legend’s “All of Me,” both sung and signed for guests. Mr. Creer and Mr. Williams exchanged rings and promised to love each other “today, tomorrow and forever.” Once they were officially married, they jumped a broom decorated with ribbons and rhinestones into the first moments of that forever.


When Feb. 28, 2025

Advertisement

Where Kimball Hall, Roswell, Ga.

Bliss and Harmony In the weeks leading up to the wedding, Mr. Creer took to Instagram to express his feelings about Mr. Williams in a series he called “word of the day.” Each day, he taught his followers a new word in ASL, including “forever” and “commitment.” Mr. Williams, who avoids the camera because of his shyness, reluctantly agreed to be part of the “romance” post on Valentine’s Day.

… And Comfort (Food) At a reception after the ceremony, guests helped themselves to a buffet with Southern favorites, including barbecued chicken, beef brisket sliders and mac and cheese. For dessert, after the grooms cut a small wedding cake, red velvet and chocolate cupcakes were passed around.

Bon Voyage The day after the wedding, the couple set sail on their second cruise together to the Caribbean. This time, they shared a cabin.

Advertisement

Lifestyle

The second life of a classic: ‘Amores Perros’ is remastered and back in theaters

Published

on

The second life of a classic: ‘Amores Perros’ is remastered and back in theaters

First released in 2000, the acclaimed film Amores perros, which was produced and directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu and written by Guillermo Arriaga, has been remastered and is returning to theaters.

Mubi


hide caption

toggle caption

Advertisement

Mubi

Before Amores Perros became widely regarded as a modern classic, it belonged to Mexico. The film premiered at the 53rd Cannes Film Festival in 2000, where it won The Grand Prix, launching a run of international acclaim that has never quite ended. This month, Amores Perros is back in theaters in a fully remastered format from its original Kodak film stocks.

The film’s plot centers on three strangers whose lives intersect at the scene of a car crash. Each story wrestles with overlapping issues of social class disparities, crime and familial betrayal. The release in Mexico coincided with the end of the Institutional Revolutionary Party or PRI’s 71-year hold on power. Amores Perros was followed by a period of original, contemporary films in Latin America that would prove the region’s studios could compete with Hollywood in scope and complexity.

One of the film's lead charachters, Octavio, is played by actor Gael García Bernal.

One of the film’s lead charachters, Octavio, is played by actor Gael García Bernal.

Mubi

Advertisement


hide caption

toggle caption

Mubi

Advertisement

The film marked the directorial debut of Alejandro González Iñárritu, who would go on to win four Academy Awards including back-to-back best director awards for Birdman (2014) and The Revenant (2015). In a recent interview with NPR, Gael García Bernal, a lead actor in Amores Perros, called the film’s launch “a new geography in cinema.”

González Iñárritu and García Bernal spoke with Morning Edition’s A Martinez about their early collaboration and the film’s continued resonance with new audiences.

Listen to the interview by clicking on the blue play button above.

The broadcast version of this story was produced by Margaux Bauerlein.

Advertisement
Continue Reading

Lifestyle

What — and who — will be at the Great American State Fair? Here’s a primer

Published

on

What — and who — will be at the Great American State Fair? Here’s a primer

Preparations underway for the Great American State Fair, as seen on Washington, D.C.’s National Mall last week.

Win McNamee/Getty Images


hide caption

toggle caption

Advertisement

Win McNamee/Getty Images

A lot is changing these days in Washington, D.C., with even more on the horizon: 10 city blocks of the National Mall will soon transform into a multi-week state fair spectacle, complete with a Ferris wheel, in honor of the country’s 250th birthday.

The “Great American State Fair” will run from June 25 through July 10, promising to bring state-themed pavilions, movie screenings, musical performances, military flyovers, nostalgic snacks, a daily rodeo — and potentially scores of tourists — to the nation’s capital.

It will feature more than 150 exhibits, with full participation across the United States and several U.S. territories, as well as “businesses, innovators and civic organizations,” according to Freedom250, the White House-backed campaign that is organizing the fair in addition to other semiquincentennial events.

Advertisement

“A master-planned celebration will unfold along the National Mall from the Capitol to the Washington Monument, featuring vibrant pavilions representing every U.S. state and territory,” says the White House website, adding that the beaux-arts style tents will also highlight national themes like agriculture, the arts, faith and family.

Workers started setting up the fair, in view of the U.S. Capitol, in late May.

Workers started setting up the fair, in view of the U.S. Capitol, in late May.

Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images


hide caption

toggle caption

Advertisement

Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

However, not all states are sending official government delegations to the fair. Officials in more than half a dozen states — including Connecticut, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Massachusetts, North Carolina, Oregon, Rhode Island and Washington — confirmed to NPR that they are not participating directly. Most cited financial considerations and a desire to prioritize celebrations in their own communities, though others voiced political concerns.

Rachel Reisner, a spokesperson for Freedom250, emphasized in an email that there is “a vast majority participating” among the states. Additionally, others are being represented by local businesses and organizations — such as two companies from North Carolina and a museum from Illinois.

“Whether represented by a governor’s office, a tourism board, or a beloved state company or organization, every community will be celebrated, and every American will see themselves in this once-in-a-generation event,” Reisner said.

Advertisement

The state fair is one in a series of patriotic anniversary events planned for D.C. this summer, including the UFC fight night outside the White House last Sunday and a fireworks-heavy July Fourth celebration that President Trump rebranded as a political rally in a Truth Social post on Monday.

Continue Reading

Lifestyle

Greetings from Maputo, Mozambique’s capital, shaped by a modernist architecture

Published

on

Greetings from Maputo, Mozambique’s capital, shaped by a modernist architecture

I took a ride on a tuk-tuk motorcycle taxi around Maputo, Mozambique, with my buddy and fellow All Things Considered producer, Vincent Acovino. We were in the country reporting on changes to U.S. funding for AIDS in Africa.

Vinny noticed it first: There was something magical about a number of the concrete apartment blocks and government offices here. With half a day off and a little googling, we gave ourselves an impromptu tour of the architecture of Amâncio “Pancho” Guedes. The late Portuguese-born architect designed some pretty cool buildings here in the 1950s and ’60s. They include the Prédio Abreu, Santos e Rocha pictured above, and other structures with evocative names like The Smiling Lion apartment block and the Lemon Squeezer church. Step into a small interior stairwell of The Dragon House, and you see a mural in sparkling black and white stone of a spiky dragon with a toothy grin. It transforms what would otherwise be a dim stairwell.

Guedes designed more than 500 buildings in the city, from churches to bakeries. I don’t have the language to capture it: the use of heavy materials, combined with the playful use of shapes and murals. “Eclectic Modernist,” I later learned, is how his work is described. One critic wrote that his work brilliantly mixes the “sculptural and figurative with practical requirements and traditional local identity.”

Maputo will change and I have to imagine not all of his work will survive. But stumbling into a town with a visual landscape that still shows Guedes’ thumbprint was a delight. For an afternoon, riding through the city streets in the open-air tuk-tuk, looking for what might have been his handiwork was a good time. Like an Easter egg hunt in concrete.

Advertisement

For more Far-Flung Postcards, click here.

Continue Reading
Advertisement

Trending