Christmas-themed movies have become so ubiquitous it’s hard to avoid the feeling that filmmakers have come to think of them as annuities for their retirement accounts. So it’s no wonder that the Farrelly brothers have waded into the territory for the first time, with their new comedy directed by Bobby Farrelly making its debut on Paramount+. And while Dear Santa doesn’t exactly qualify for entry in the filmmakers’ pantheon beside the likes of There’s Something About Mary and Dumb and Dumber, it should fulfill its goal of being trotted out annually for holiday consumption alongside the turkey and the eggnog.

Considering that the words “Santa” and “Satan” contain exactly the same letters, it’s amazing that it’s taken this long for someone to come up with the idea for a movie about an 11-year-old with dyslexia who writes a letter to Santa, only to find it answered by Satan thanks to inadvertent letter placement.

Jack Black, in his first collaboration with the Farrellys since 2001’s Shallow Hall, plays Satan, who shows up one night in the bedroom of Liam (Robert Timothy Smith, a real find) after the bespectacled tween has written what he thought was a letter to Santa. Satan, sporting horns and a burgundy leather-and-fur outfit and announcing that he’s there “in the naughty flesh,” doesn’t bother at first to inform Liam of the truth but instead offers him three wishes, in the devilish hope of stealing the little boy’s soul.

Liam’s first wish is for the romantic attentions of Emma (Kai Cech), his classmate with whom he’s besotted. Satan instantly grants it and it isn’t long before Liam is escorting Emma to a Post Malone concert, complete with VIP seats and backstage pass. This plot element provides the opportunity for an extended sequence featuring the superstar rapper-singer playing himself, which should help the film appeal to its desired teen demographic.

As with any deal involving Satan, things quickly grow complicated, here in the form of subplots involving Liam’s friend Gibby (Jaden Carson Baker) having to pretend to be a cancer patient and Liam’s concerned parents (Brianne Howey, Hayes MacArthur) having him see a child psychologist. (The shrink is played by the always funny but unfortunately underutilized Keegan-Michael Key.)

It should hardly come as a revelation that Black’s hardworking comedic efforts are the film’s saving grace. Adopting a deep growl that makes him sound like late-period Jack Nicholson, the actor is clearly having a ball with his colorful role, and the fun proves infectious. He makes the many bad jokes bearable and the decent ones even funnier with his typically manic, perfectly timed delivery.

And to be fair, there are a few decent ones in the screenplay co-written by Peter Farrelly and Ricky Blitt (Family Guy, Loudermilk), even if it inevitably includes bathroom humor in the form of Satan casting a gastrointestinal distress spell on Liam’s obnoxious English teacher (P.J. Byrne). “Every time a grown man sharts himself, a demon earns its horns,” a smug Satan informs Liam. There are several funny pop culture references that should please adults while befuddling the target audience, including a reference to One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest and Satan announcing that he’s staying at the “Redrum Motor Lodge.”

“You can probably guess my room number,” he adds.

Culminating in a maudlin ending that seems a bit much even for a film of this type, Dear Santa is the sort of forgettable holiday fare — much like the current theatrical misfire Red One — that will probably nonetheless live on forever on streaming services. And if no less a figure than Charles Dickens could resort to creating a Christmas story for some quick cash (look it up), why shouldn’t the movie studios?  

Swap, written, directed, and starring Dallas King, is a new film that has turned the tables on typical vampire movies. It could easilyhave been a trashy romance novel. Swap is a modern-day 70s exploitation film.

Check out the trailer below, then read on for the review!

Synopsis

New couple, Rad (James Eastwood) and Kyla (Jessica Lelia Green), are invited by Glory (Erin Anne Gray) to celebrate her engagement to Angelo (Dallas King), her mysterious new boyfriend. At Angelo’s secluded house, Rad discovers that Glory and Angelo are swingers looking to swap partners. When Rad tries to persuade Kyla to leave, her curiosity leads to a steamy encounter where she learns that Angelo is a 500-year-old vampire with sinister intentions.

I don’t watch many vampire movies but this one kind of stuck with me and left me confused. I couldn’t relate to the story because, in all honesty, it was a little repetitive to me. There are a great moments however. The story is different than your typical vampire fare. The acting is also pretty strong. You can tell everyone put their heart into making this. And there are moments int he film that really made me think.

Sexy vampires isn’t a bad theme, but I’m also very timid. I think the sex overpowered the film, and while the sex story sells to a lot of people, for me, it’s not so much. It’s a love-it-or-hate-it type of movie, although a slight grey area is locked deep away, and I found it. I wanted to see the bright side. I just couldn’t.

I enjoy a good horror movie sex scene that gets you killed by a slasher. With Swap, however, I felt like I was watching a Misty Mundea film. I felt like I needed a shower after because that’s how down and dirty it is.

To Be Fair…

I am a fair guy; I’ll give everything a watch one time. I am not big on modern horror outside of a few franchises. Maybe that was my problem with this, or maybe it was all the sex. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it lost my attention. This is all just my opinion; as I said, everyone should give it a shot at least once. It may not be my cup of tea, but it will sell to fans who know what they like, and I can commend the hard work everyone put into this film.

In The End

I have no interest in sex horror. To me, this movie had so much potential, but just went in a weird direction. I’ll stay in the gray area for a while because, though the story was interesting enough, it made me feel awkward watching it. But in the end, this movie is going to be fantastic to a lot of people, and that’s perfectly fine.

What promised to be different was run-of-the-mill, in my opinion. It’s not that I wasn’t interested, but there was more sex than story, This is just one opinion, I always let people enjoy things; just because you have an opinion, it isn’t a rally to not watch this movie. See it for yourself.

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Mild spoilers ahead (though nothing the trailers didn’t already reveal).

I recently rewatched the original “Gladiator” to set myself up for success when going to the theater for its long-awaited sequel. Instead, I found myself wondering what happened to director Ridley Scott. The original “Gladiator,” released in 2000, is a borderline classic that stands the test of time. In contrast, some of Scott’s most recent work seems uninspired and grasping to be something it’s not. I’m specifically referencing “Napoleon,” “House of Gucci,” and now “Gladiator II.”

While “Gladiator II” has its grand moments that get you all giddy in your seat because the action is so epic, I mostly found myself bored in the “between” parts of this 150-minute movie. This film has pacing issues. “Gladiator II” ebbs and flows between one set-piece sequence to the next with no regard to the audience. A few of the story moments around the identity of Paul Mescal’s character, “Lucius,” specifically feel as if the writers thought they need to hold the audience‘s hand to the reveal, despite the trailers and all marketing material already revealing who he is. 

On top of the pacing issues of the film, I never fully bought into the other story points around “Gladiator II.” Some narrative moments feel like a lazy retelling of the first film while others seem shoehorned in order to give the high-paid actors something to do.