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Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine

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Unhinged, A Dating Series: What Dating Will Look Like in 2025 | San Diego Magazine


My algorithm is permanently stuck in the dating world. Ads, social posts, articles, events, press releases—everything that has to do with finding love has come across my screen in the last year. And if all my fervent article reading and constant chats with experts and everyday daters have taught me anything, it’s that the way we search for the one follows fads like anything else—and things are shifting. With only a few more months to go in 2024, here are some of the trends that the industry is projecting for singles in 2025:

Daters Are Going Sober to Find Love

In July, Newsweek covered the rise of sober dating among Gen Zers and Millennials during a time when people are ditching alcohol (though, still staying “California sober”) at higher rates than previous generations. Even those not cutting alcohol out completely are scaling back—according to a study by NC Solutions, 41 percent of people are minimizing their use and prioritizing mental health.

This trend of dry dating has led to the creation of new NA apps such as Drybaby, Loosid, and Club Pillar, which aim to bring like-minded singles together in one place. Apps like these make it easier for sober singles to organize meetups while avoiding awkward conversations about not drinking on first, second, or future dates. They’re also drawing singles together IRL: Drybaby, for example, has partnered with NYC- and LA-based companies like The Feels, which hosts “mindful” events, and Reading Rhythms, a group that throws reading parties.

In an interview with Dazed magazine, Catherine Gray, author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, argues that drinking on dates can leave people confused about their true feelings. “Frequently, on the 7 p.m. first drink we’ll think, ‘Meh,’” she told the outlet. “On the second drink, ‘meh’ is a little more mesmerizing. Rinse and repeat four times, and suddenly you’re heavy petting someone you wouldn’t even ordinarily lightly pet.” 

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When dating dry, there’s no alcohol-induced cloudiness about whether someone is actually a good potential match. And, at the very least—during a time when most of us are just trying to figure out how to pay rent each month—spending money on expensive drinks can wait for later dates, when you’re sure you have a crush. Keep an eye out for more of these NA apps and dating events in 2025. 

The Apps Are Here to Stay, But Users Aren’t

While dating apps aren’t necessarily going anywhere, users are starting to rely on them less when it comes to finding a potential partner. I wrote about this return to meeting people in person a few weeks back. It makes sense—we’re all burnt out and in need of a new way to find love, a fact that seems especially true for the younger generations. 

Recently, Time published a piece on the members of Gen Z choosing to dtich dating apps. Data from a 2023 Statista survey showed that, in the US, Gen Z makes up only 26 percent of dating app users, while Millennials come in at 61 percent. CNN reported that “singles mixers and other group dating parties have made a comeback since the Covid-19 pandemic ended as singles look to get off their screens and meet potential partners in person.” 

According to data from Eventbrite, attendance at singles’ events increased 42 percent between 2022 and 2023.  Those numbers are even higher when it comes to game- or sports-based dating meetups. So, if you’re looking to date in the next year, consider how to get out in your community and meet someone at the many dating events that have been popping up lately.

Singles Are Doing Away With “Types”

This one is an interesting one. Contra-dating is a concept that involves intentionally dating people you would normally not choose in order to broaden your options. Many of us tend to stick with what we know, and, in the dating world, that can lead to a cycle of bad relationships—or closing yourself off to a potential match just because they don’t fit what you’re used to.

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I love the idea that people are opening up their dating pool by purposefully spending time with those who aren’t their type. And the idea isn’t at all foreign in popular culture—Love is Blind (despite its issues) takes this type of thinking to the most extreme level, and even rom-coms have used that formula for decades, pairing two individuals who are wildly different and letting viewers watch as they eventually fall in love. 

Contra-dating pushes you to be more open-minded and prioritize your core values over more surface-level things like physical appearance. It seems obvious to date outside of your normal pool, but how many of us actually take the leap? We often eliminate people quickly when they don’t match our past experiences or typical crush. 

This type of dating can also expose individuals to new hobbies, activities, or ways of thinking—so even if you don’t fall in love with someone new, they may introduce you to your new favorite thing.

Living in the Moment, No Matter the Outcome

In my own dating life, I’ve learned that putting too much pressure early on can lead to unnecessary arguments. On the other hand, future-faking—a tactic where someone makes false promises about commitment to keep someone invested in a relationship—can be harmful to those who are genuinely seeking a long-term partner.

“NATO” dating, or “not attached to the outcome,” is a term used to describe a form of dating that places an emphasis on living in the moment, day-by-day, with potential matches. In an interview with The Star, Paul C. Brunson, Tinder’s global relationship insights expert, said, “Instead of rushing into a ‘happily ever after,’ [users are] focusing on using the dating journey to accumulate a roster of new experiences and memories that enhance their personal stories.” 

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When it comes to dating apps, every day can mean a new match or potential meetup—which, on the surface, can sound exciting. However, the amount of matches that don’t turn into a full-blown relationship can make us feel like there’s something wrong with us, not the algorithm.

Taking the NATO route means that you’re no longer worried about whether your next date is the one. Instead, you can free up your mind to take something away from every interaction you have, whether good or bad. Releasing our concerns about what’s next can also leave us more at ease when dating, meaning we’ll be more ourselves during those uncomfortable first meetups. 

According to Forbes, the benefits of NATO dating include pursuing mindful partnerships, prioritizing personal growth, embracing singlehood, seeking meaningful experiences, and assessing true compatibility. It makes sense. This approach to dating can help you let go of timelines and pre-existing expectations and allow you to get to know a person without all the pressure and anxiety of finding the love of your life.

What do you think? What other dating trends and predictions have you seen lately? Let me know. Email me at [email protected] and let me know which topics you’d like me to dig deeper into.


If you’re new to Unhinged, catch up on all the dating chats you’ve missed here and follow along at @monicles and @sandiegomag on Instagram to know when a new article drops each week.

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San Diego police chief lays out separation between SDPD and ICE

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San Diego police chief lays out separation between SDPD and ICE


The Rotary Club of La Jolla hosted San Diego Police Chief Scott Wahl at its March 10 meeting as he spoke about his team’s role in the community, pointing out that it does not include enforcement of federal immigration laws.

Meanwhile, the club is continuing its contributions to a fire station fundraising project.

Here’s a breakdown of the latest Rotary happenings.

Chief explains SDPD and ICE dynamic

Wahl discussed his department’s priorities and attempted to clarify the differences between its operations and those of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

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Wahl, who led SDPD’s Northern Division, which includes La Jolla, as a captain in 2021-22 and took over as chief in 2024 following the retirement of former chief David Nisleit, said he has three main goals for the department: Build trust, develop leaders and be efficient and effective with the resources allotted. Its overarching job, he added, is to provide stability and structure “when things are out of control and there’s chaos.”

Several questions from people at the meeting were directed toward the Police Department’s role — or lack thereof — in ICE operations.

San Diego police do not enforce federal immigration laws and are subject to state regulations. California Senate Bill 54 “prohibits SDPD officers from investigating, detaining or arresting people based solely on their immigration status,” according to the city of San Diego.

SDPD officers are not allowed to ask about immigration status, participate in immigration enforcement or assist with immigration arrests. They are responsible for answering calls for emergency help and providing information as available to elected officials about the details and circumstances of calls.

Wahl described the department’s role as “apolitical,” though he added it’s an increasingly fine line to walk.

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“Obviously this is a very polarizing issue with many different views,” Wahl said. “I’m sorry the way this is impacting families and folks that have been in this country for many, many years. I wish there was something I could do to change that. But I am very cautious to make sure I’m not in my role creating or making this … Police Department a pawn in a political battle.”

“They [ICE] have their areas of responsibility, we have our areas of responsibility,” Wahl said. “Unfortunately, right now during this tough time, we all get painted with the same broad brush.”

Wahl told the La Jolla Light after the meeting that it’s unsurprising that immigration enforcement is a topic of local interest given San Diego’s proximity to the U.S./Mexico border.

“It’s a tough issue, and it’s really tough to be succinct and to the point [and] have people understand all the different layers,” he said. “I understand people want us to do something. And I want to be able to do something. But in many respects, there’s not much we can do.”

Wahl said he was unaware of any ICE-related calls SDPD may have received in La Jolla, though areas such as Linda Vista, South Park and Mission Valley have been affected.

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Fire Station 16 fundraising

An ongoing effort to renovate San Diego Fire Station 16 on Mount Soledad in La Jolla continues to gain steam and is now about $45,000 from its fundraising target, Rotarian Cindy Goodman told the Light.

Visitors and firefighters gather at a Nov. 12 open house at La Jolla’s Fire Station 16 that raised $20,000 toward the station’s renovation. (Provided by Wendy Moore)

The city approved a Phase 1 revitalization plan shepherded by the La Jolla Sunrise Rotary Club to replace walls and doors in the station’s sleeping areas, along with other improvements.

The San Diego Fire-Rescue Foundation and the Rotary Club of La Jolla have teamed with Sunrise Rotary in an agreement that if the Rotarians come up with the money and materials for the project, the city will provide the labor.

The Fire-Rescue Department says Fire Station 16 was built in 1982 and hasn’t had any major renovations since, instead receiving small upgrades. Renovating the station will enable firefighters to have better sleep, privacy and living standards, project organizers say.

The overall funding target is $175,000. But with more than $130,000 collected so far, the clubs should be able to cover construction and temporary housing costs, Goodman said. Now they are awaiting city guidance on temporary trailers that meet requirements.

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“The community has been wonderful about supporting the project to provide decent housing for our firefighters, and all those involved are very grateful,” Goodman said.

Kiwanis and Rotary joint meeting to feature S.D. council president

Less than a month after he held a town hall meeting at the La Jolla Recreation Center, San Diego City Council President Joe LaCava, whose District 1 includes La Jolla, is scheduled to deliver a city update at a Rotary Club meeting later this month.

The meeting, a joint effort including the Kiwanis Club of La Jolla, will begin at noon Tuesday, March 24, at the La Valencia Hotel, 1132 Prospect St.

Hot topics at LaCava’s March 4 town hall included area speed limits, city budget issues and continuing infrastructure projects. ♦

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Padres roster review: Miguel Andujar

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Padres roster review: Miguel Andujar





Padres roster review: Miguel Andujar – San Diego Union-Tribune


















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MIGUEL ANDUJAR

  • Position(s): Third base, left field, first base
  • Bats / Throws: Right / Right
  • 2026 opening day age: 31
  • Height / Weight: 6-foot / 211 pounds
  • How acquired: Signed as a free agent in February 2026
  • Contract status: Will make $1.5 million in 2026, with the opportunity to earn another $2 million-plus in performance bonuses; his $4 million guarantee includes a $2.5 million buyout against an $8 million mutual option for 2027.
  • fWAR in 2025: 1.1
  • Key 2025 stats: .318 AVG, .352 OBP, .470 SLG, 10 HRs, 44 RBIs, 36 runs, 17 walks, 49 strikeouts, 1 steal (94 games, 341 plate appearances)

 

STAT TO NOTE

  • .986 — Andujar’s OPS against left-handed pitching in 2025, the second-highest mark of his career and well above his career .807 OPS against southpaws. Andujar had been below .600 in 2021 and 2022 before jumping to .871 in 2023 and a career-high .995 in 2024.

 

TRENDING

  • Up — Signed for $700,000 out of the Dominican Republic as a 16-year-old in the international amateur market, Andujar needed two years to get out of the Yankees’ rookie-ball affiliate in the Gulf Coast League and finally cracked top-100 lists ahead of the 2018 season — No. 59 at Baseball America and No. 65 at MLB.com — after reaching Triple-A following a 16-homer season (.850 OPS). Andujar even made his MLB debut as a 22-year-old in 2017 and looked like he’d be a big part of the Yankees’ future after pairing 27 homers and 92 RBIs with an .855 OPS in finishing second to Shohei Ohtani in AL Rookie of the Year voting in 2018. But a right shoulder labrum tear derailed Andujar in 2019 and Andujar was never able to grab a starting job again in New York. The Pirates claimed him late in 2022 and then the Athletics claimed him after the 2023 season. By then, he’d developed into a platoon player with defensive limitations. Andujar had a .697 OPS in 75 games in his first year with the Athletics and a .765 OPS in 60 games last year when, after missing time with a right oblique strain, he was shipped to the Reds for a minor league pitcher. Andujar went on to hit .359/.400/.544 with four homers and 17 RBIs in 34 games to help the Reds lock up a wild-card spot. He was 0-for-4 with a walk and a strikeout in the NL Wild Card Series sweep at the hands of the Dodgers.

 

Miguel Andujar #41 of the San Diego Padres participates in drills during spring training workouts at the Peoria Sports Complex on Thursday, Feb. 12, 2026 in Peoria, Ariz.(Meg McLaughlin / The San Diego Union-Tribune)

2026 OUTLOOK

  • The need for right-handed balance in the lineup was painfully obvious in the Padres’ NL Wild Card Series loss to the Cubs, so Andujar became a target after 1B/OF Ryan O’Hearn walked as a free agent. Expect Andujar to get at-bats against lefties as either a DH, first base, third base or left field — the spots he’s been playing in spring training.

 

ROSTER RANKINGS

  • 1. OF Fernando Tatis Jr.
  • 2. 3B Manny Machado
  • 3. OF Jackson Merrill
  • 4. RHP Nick Pivetta
  • 5. RHP Michael King
  • 6. RHP Mason Miller
  • 7. OF Ramón Laureano
  • 8. SS Xander Bogaerts
  • 9. LHP Adrián Morejón
  • 10. RHP Jeremiah Estrada
  • 11. RHP Jason Adam
  • 12. 2B Jake Cronenworth
  • 13. RHP Joe Musgrove
  • 14. RHP Randy Vásquez
  • 15. INF Miguel Andujar
  • 16. OF Gavin Sheets
  • 17. LHP JP Sears
  • 18. RHP Yu Darvish
  • 19. RHP Bradgley Rodriguez
  • 20. RHP David Morgan
  • 21. C Freddy Fermin
  • 22. LHP Wandy Peralta
  • 23. C Luis Campusano
  • 24. LHP Yuki Matsui
  • 25. INF Sung-Mun Song
  • 26. RHP German Marquez
  • 27. RHP Matt Waldron
  • 28. OF Bryce Johnson
  • 29. OF/1B Nick Castellanos
  • 30. RHP Ron Marinaccio
  • 31. RHP Bryan Hoeing
  • 32. LHP Kyle Hart
  • 33. INF Will Wagner
  • 34. RHP Garrett Hawkins
  • 35. RHP Miguel Mendez
  • 36. RHP Daison Acosta
  • 37. RHP Ty Adcock
  • 38. RHP Alek Jacob
  • 39. INF Mason McCoy

 

Removed from 40-man roster

  • OF Tirso Ornelas (designated for assignment)
  • RHP Jhony Brito (60-day injured list)

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San Diego Bishop Is Out of a Job

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San Diego Bishop Is Out of a Job



Pope Leo XIV has accepted the resignation of the Chaldean Catholic bishop of San Diego, California, a decision announced Tuesday by the Vatican after the bishop was arrested on embezzlement charges. The San Diego County Sheriff’s Office said last week it had arrested Bishop Emmanuel Shaleta on Thursday at San Diego International Airport as he tried to leave the country, reports the AP. The office said it acted after someone from Shaleta’s church provided a statement and documentation “showing potential embezzlement from the church.” Shaleta was being held on $125,000 bail on eight counts of embezzlement, money laundering, and aggravated white collar crime, the statement said. Shaleta pleaded not guilty on Monday, reports NBC San Diego.

“He was on his way to Germany,” prosecutor Joel Madero said. “Given his access to funds, the fact that he had over $9,000 in the bag when he was stopped, and the fact that he has these international ties … I do believe that some bail to ensure he shows up is appropriate.” There was no immediate reply to an email sent to Shaleta’s parish, St. Peter Chaldean Church, seeking comment and contact information for his attorney. The Vatican said in its daily bulletin Tuesday that Leo had accepted Shaleta’s resignation under the code of canon law for eastern rite churches that allows for the pope to agree if a bishop asks to step down.

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Leo actually accepted the resignation when Shaleta presented it in February, but an announcement was not made until Tuesday, according to the Vatican embassy in Washington. The Holy See appears to have waited to announce the decision to avoid interfering with the police investigation. Leo named Bishop Saad Hanna Sirop as a temporary administrator. Shaleta, 69, was ordained a priest of the Chaldean Catholic Church in Detroit in 1984. He was named to the San Diego branch of the eastern rite Catholic Church in the US in 2017.





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