Recently, I met someone and shared with them that I grew up in a single-wide trailer. He acted surprised. He said I didn’t look like I had.
I was immediately defensive. What exactly does a person raised in a trailer park look like? I wanted to ask. But I already knew the idea he had in his head: Chain-smoking in clothes that haven’t fit right in five years, dollar-store eyeshadow, and a sweat-slick messy bun in a yard littered with trash. This low-income white persona is one I often fear emulating.
And while this image is nothing like my quiet trailer park back home in Big Bear, people have ideas, and I’m painfully aware of them.
We live in a society that hates poor people. We also live in a society that hates fat people, and since I grew up checking both of these boxes, I have often felt the need to overcompensate to avoid being stereotyped.
I wish I had the privilege thinner women have of showing up to work with no makeup on, in jeans and a t-shirt. But I’m terrified of being seen as lazy or unkept. I overwork to the point of burnout out of a fear of being perceived as careless. My love for makeup doesn’t stem from some artistic appreciation, but from the dread of being read as messy.
It all adds up. It’s expensive to look good when you’re overweight.
Because let me tell you, clothes for fat women aren’t cheap—even if the material they’re made from is. The most size-accessible stores are usually a few trend cycles behind. Some of the options are actually horrific. Shops like Torrid, the plus-size clothing store that holds the monopoly in this market, are still trying to sell us cold-shoulder tops. The trend died over 10 years ago in straight-sized fashion, but I have yet to escape it.
Since I can’t afford the overpriced choices, I add them to the wish list, wait, then hope a major sale comes along before the few items I want are sold out.
It’s worth it for the consistent compliments I receive on my cute dresses and flawless makeup, but I wish all this overthinking and overspending wasn’t necessary.
I have spent an egregious amount of money to avoid looking like I didn’t have money, and that comment—that I don’t match someone’s idea of what a trailer park kid looks like—had me feeling proud… while simultaneously being embarrassed for feeling that pride.
I wish I could just live like everyone else. Some days looking good, and some days just getting out the door. But that’s not an option for someone like me.
OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) — The Miami Marlins are working on a trade that would send second baseman and reigning NL batting champion Luis Arraez to the San Diego Padres.
The Marlins said Friday that the deal was pending a review of medical information before it could be finalized and formally announced.
“When a guy like that is taken out of the lineup or potentially traded, you feel it, because he’s such a good kid and one of the leaders in that clubhouse,” manager Skip Schumaker said, “so there’s definitely a shock value.”
There was also some shock in the Padres’ clubhouse after their 7-1 victory over the Diamondbacks on Friday night, though it was for happier reasons.
“It’s really amazing — that guy is a baller,” San Diego slugger Fernando Tatis Jr. said about Arraez. “He’s probably the closest to Tony Gwynn right now, so looking forward to seeing him in our lineup. … The guy’s a pure hitter and I can’t wait for him to help us.”
Gwynn won eight batting titles for the Padres during his Hall of Fame career from 1982 to 2001.
Miami changed its lineup minutes before first pitch in Oakland, pulling the 27-year-old Arraez out of the leadoff spot.
Instead, he made his way through the visitor’s dugout at the Coliseum shaking hands and offering hugs and goodbyes with his now-former teammates, coaches and staff.
“Great teammate,” Schumaker said. “So of course, yeah, I think that it’s human nature that there’s an initial shock value when it happens. Again, nothing’s official, but when he gets pulled out of the lineup these guys aren’t dumb, they know what’s going on. I think that the initial shock factor is definitely real and hopefully it goes away in a couple days or tomorrow or whatever it is because we know it’s a business and you’re paid here to come here and win games and be professional.”
Arraez — who was gone by the end of Miami’s 3-1 loss and his locker empty — should provide an instant spark to the Padres’ lineup. San Diego trails the first-place Dodgers in the talented NL West.
Arraez was hitting .299 with five RBIs and had scored 22 runs with a .347 on-base percentage over 16 games during Miami’s 9-24 start. A two-time All-Star, he also won an AL batting title for the Minnesota Twins in 2022 before they traded him to Miami for Pablo Lopez in January 2023.
A’s manager Mark Kotsay appreciated the heads up from Schumaker before the game.
“It can be disruptive, but I think Skip handled it very, very well,” Kotsay said. “He’s been in the game a long time. Delivering those messages is never easy, but it was nice to see his teammates get a chance to say what they needed to. In terms of preparation, we’re all professional here. Those things happen. I’m sure it didn’t distract them from the game.”
The Marlins were reportedly expected to receive four players: reliever Woo-Suk Go and prospects Dillon Head, Jakob Marsee, and Nathan Martorella.
Martorella was playing in a Double-A game for San Antonio and at second base when he was traded and removed from the game, confused initially before saying his goodbyes.
ESPN first reported the trade Friday.
AP Baseball Writer David Brandt in Phoenix contributed to this report.
AP MLB: https://apnews.com/hub/mlb
Amelia Rodriguez is San Diego Magazine’s Associate Editor. The 2023 winner of the San Diego Press Club’s Rising Star Award, she’s covered music, food, arts & culture, fashion, and design for Rolling Stone, Palm Springs Life, and other national and regional publications. After work, you can find her hunting down San Diego’s best pastries and maintaining her three-year Duolingo streak.
The 38th Annual Law Enforcement Memorial Ceremony was held this week at the Regional Law Enforcement Memorial in the Waterfront Park.
Every year, the San Diego County Law Enforcement Memorial Ceremony pays respect to fallen deputies, officers and agents who gave their life in the line of duty in San Diego County.
The San Diego County Sheriff’s Department and law enforcement agencies from across the region honored the sacrifice made by these men and women with a 21-gun salute.
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