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Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom

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Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom


Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.

The thing is — I don’t think of myself as retiring.

I have led a constant, reliable life. I will read even the worst book to the last page. I have never voluntarily left a relationship, an obligation, or any employment.

(I can barely stand to leave a room!)

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But I’m leaving this seven-day-a-week commitment — because I want to, and because it’s time.

My intention is to move on and to do other meaningful work.

Writing this column has given me a glimpse into thousands of lives.

The insight I have gained has inspired and empowered me to listen to my own counsel, to be authentic in my actions, and to — basically — be in charge of my own life, as much as possible.

Showing myself the door at this moment reflects the privilege of good health, strong relationships, years of steady employment, and some prudent financial choices. I’m very aware of how lucky I am.

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My favorite way to envision this work is to picture families reading these columns together at the breakfast table and weighing in with their own points of view before reading mine.

And yes, there are still parents and grandparents out there who clip the newspaper and send pertinent columns to kids in college or summer camp, or tape it to refrigerators and bathroom mirrors.

I’ve heard from healthcare workers, police officers, firefighters and office workers who say they discuss the issues raised in the column in the break room.

I love knowing that, and I’ll miss having coffee with you.

The questions raised in this space have been used as teaching tools in middle schools, memory care units, ESL classes and prisons. These are perfect venues to discuss ethical, human-sized dilemmas.

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On my last day communicating with you in this way, I feel compelled to try to sum up my experience by offering some lasting wisdom, but I’ve got no fresh insight. Everything I know has been distilled from wisdom gathered elsewhere.

Boxer Mike Tyson famously said, “Everybody has a plan, until they get punched ….” Punches are inevitable. But I do believe I’ve learned some universal truths that might soften the blows.

They are:

Show up for people.

Be gentle with yourself — and with others.

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Lead with kindness, and recognize kindness when you receive it.

Reserve your harshest judgment. Sit on your worst thoughts about other people and consider the consequences before expressing them.

Be of service by finding something, or someone, to take care of.

Find creative ways to express your feelings.

Admit to your faults and failings, and resolve to do better.

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Ask for forgiveness.

Work hard not to be defined by the worst things that have happened to you.

Recognize even the smallest blessings and express gratitude.

Be kind to receptionists, restaurant servers, dental hygienists, and anyone who needs to physically touch or serve you in order to do their job.

Understand that there are times when it is necessary to give up.

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Spend time in nature.

Identify, develop, or explore your core ethical and/or spiritual beliefs.

Recognize and detach from your own need to control someone else.

Respect boundaries — yours and others’.

Seek the counsel of people who are wiser than you are. Ask their advice, and listen.

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I sometimes supply “scripts” for people who have asked me for the right words to say, and so I thought I would boil these down to some of the most important statements I believe anyone can make.

They are:

I need help.

I’m sorry.

I forgive you.

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I love you, just as you are.

I’m on your side.

You’re safe.

You are not alone.

Now that I’m near the end of my movie, I hope you’ll pay attention to the end credits.

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Many thanks to Chicago friends and colleagues, including Jim Warren, who found me, Ann Marie Lipinski, who hired me, Steve Mandell, who represented me, and editors Mary Elson, Bill O’Connell and Carrie Williams. Thank you to “Gentleman Jack” Barry, who softened my exit.

And especially to Tracy Clark, a talented novelist who has helped to correct my faulty thinking and grammar for many years.

Finally, much gratitude to faithful readers, who can find me on social media and through my regular newsletter.

Onward!

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

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Denver, CO

Novo Coffee opens second location at Denver International Airport

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Novo Coffee opens second location at Denver International Airport


USA. Local specialty coffee roaster Novo Coffee has unveiled its second location at Denver International Airport in partnership with the AVE Group.

Located at Concourse B, the new coffee kiosk features Novo Coffee’s full coffee menu, including fresh baked goods and other takeaway items.

Novo Coffee grows its presence at Denver International Airport with the opening of its second location at Concourse B

Popular local artist Pat Milberry was commissioned to design the coffee kiosk, as he did for the Concourse A location.

Novo Coffee is driven by its commitment to sustainability in producing its coffee and holds a Certifiably Green Denver certification.

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Its partnership with the AVE Group started in October 2022, resulting in the first travel retail location at Denver International Airport. The opening formed part of the airport’s Small Business Enterprise Concessions programme – the first in its history. The programme was designed to level the playing field for small businesses which intend to participate in contract opportunities at the Colorado gateway.

Novo Coffee serves a wide variety of specialty coffees ethically sourced from well-trusted coffee producers and farmers

The AVE Group was founded by experienced travel retail executive Kathleen Schafer to bring Novo Coffee to the airport.

For more than a decade, Schafer has seen her career grow at Denver-based concessionaire Mission Yogurt to become Vice President, establishing her own concessions company in 2015 while awaiting the right opportunity.

It came to fruition with this programme and partnership, and now the AVE Group closely collaborates with Novo Coffee to manage the daily operations of the two stores.

Schafer said: “We’re proud to again partner with such a relationship-based brand as Novo Coffee, and to continue bringing its high-quality products to travellers at the airport.

“We’re very grateful to Denver International Airport and the Small Business Enterprise Concessions committee for supporting small Denver-based businesses.”

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Novo Coffee Co-founder and President Jake Brodsky added: “Novo Coffee is thrilled to bring more local, quality flavours to Denver International Airport.

“We’ve been working hard to sustainably grow and improve our small company since day one. We’re excited to share our coffees with even more guests travelling to and through our hometown.”

Denver International Airport CEO Phil Washington commented: “We’re thrilled to welcome Novo Coffee into a second location at DEN. We know our passengers already value the great products and service that Novo offers and will appreciate having an additional location at the airport to visit.

“I am also pleased to report that the AVE Group, LLC., Novo’s operational partner, is a Small Business Enterprise Concession Operator and woman-owned and operated business, a value that’s deeply embedded within our Concessions programme.

“We know that as DEN continues to provide opportunities for more businesses to share in the airport’s success, we all contribute to the economic health of our region.” ✈

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Suns to sign point guard Collin Gillespie, per report

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Suns to sign point guard Collin Gillespie, per report


Former Denver Nuggets point guard Collin Gillespie has agreed to sign with the Phoenix Suns on a two-way contract, ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday.

He is the second two-way player who has agreed to sign with the Suns. Phoenix signed rookie wing Jalen Bridges out of Baylor immediately following the NBA Draft.

Gillespie posted “new beginnings” on social media following the report.

NBA teams are allowed to max out at three two-way players.

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Gillespie, 25, played in 24 games for the Nuggets last season, averaging 3.6 points, 1.1 assists and 0.6 steals in 9.4 minutes per game.

The 6-foot-1, 195-pound guard shot 46.4% and 39.5% from three.

Gillespie played five years at Villanova, finishing school in 2021-22 by averaging 15.6 points and 3.2 assists per game.

He signed with Denver and was a member of their title team despite missing the season due to a leg fracture.

He brings value as a depth option at point guard, which Phoenix has yet to address in the draft or the first few days of free agency.

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The Suns were without a traditional point guard last season. Devin Booker and Bradley Beal served as the Suns’ floor generals more times than not, while starter Grayson Allen was often left to defend the opposing point guards.

NBA veteran Isaiah Thomas was brought in late for a seven-game run that included a playoff appearance, though he only averaged four minutes per game and didn’t break into the rotation. Two-way guard Saben Lee occasionally played a role off the bench, though not a consistent one.





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Denver, CO

What's next for Nuggets after losing Kentavious Caldwell-Pope?

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What's next for Nuggets after losing Kentavious Caldwell-Pope?


For the past few weeks, the Denver Nuggets have been bracing for the possibility of losing starting shooting guard Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. As the days got closer to Sunday’s start of free agency, those fears inside the organization turned into acceptance and resignation. The Nuggets knew, even though it made what they felt to be a competitive offer, that Caldwell-Pope was likely to leave.

That likelihood turned into reality during the first hour of free agency as Caldwell-Pope agreed to a three-year deal with the Orlando Magic, making the Magic stronger while weakening the Nuggets. It marks the second consecutive offseason the Nuggets have lost a key piece from the team that won the 2023 NBA championship.

The Nuggets need to figure out a way to replace what Caldwell-Pope brought to the roster on and off the court. It won’t be easy in either aspect.

Below is a breakdown of the challenges the Nuggets face and what they can do next.

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Why is this loss so substantial?

The Nuggets didn’t become championship competitive until they started stopping people at the point of attack on defense. And they didn’t become demons on defense until they brought in Caldwell-Pope. Defenders such as Caldwell-Pope were able to help mitigate Nikola Jokić’s lack of rim protection.

Caldwell-Pope, while being one of the best perimeter defenders in all of basketball, also hit 41.5 percent of his 3-pointers in his two seasons in Denver and he made a habit of hitting big shots.

He proved to be a good fit in Denver’s offensive scheme because he moved so well without the basketball. He took advantage of his opportunities and never hijacked the offense while maintaining terrific chemistry with Jokić and Jamal Murray.

His value in the locker room was almost as great, if not even greater. He provided a voice of competitive calm. After winning the 2020 title in the NBA bubble with the Lakers, he brought with him a championship pedigree and spoke often about what it was like to win at the highest level. He was the only player on the Nuggets roster who experienced a title before 2023. He translated that experience to his teammates.

Caldwell-Pope often took on difficult perimeter assignments, so Murray wouldn’t have to tax himself defensively. He is the very definition of a veteran who wore many hats and allowed more celebrated teammates to thrive. As a result, his presence won’t be easily replaced.

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Why did this happen?

The Nuggets made a competitive offer but the new rules and penalties brought by the NBA’s collective bargaining agreement hurt Denver in this instance. Had the Nuggets retained Caldwell-Pope, they would likely have gone into the second tax apron, which would severely limit how a team can construct a roster. Here is what happens if you are a team in the second apron:

  • No access to any mid-level exception in free agency.
  • Can’t aggregate contracts in trades
  • Can’t send cash in trades
  • Can’t sign and trade your own player
  • Can’t trade a first-round pick seven years in the future, and that pick falls to the bottom of the first round if the team is also above the second apron in two of the ensuing four years

Denver made a competitive offer to Caldwell-Pope, but when the race is a tie, you essentially have a 50 percent chance of losing that race. The Nuggets ended up losing the race. It also should be noted that even if Denver had been able to keep Caldwell-Pope, the Nuggets likely would be in the same boat next summer with Aaron Gordon.

In losing Caldwell-Pope, the Nuggets now have access to the $5.18 million taxpayer midlevel exception. They likely aren’t finding a starter with that kind of money. But they can find a rotation player with that. That leads us to …

How does Denver replace Caldwell-Pope?

The Nuggets are exploring the trade market and canvassing free agency. Yet, if the Nuggets’ roster largely stays the same, Christian Braun is in line for a big jump in playing time and responsibility. Elevating Braun to the starting lineup could be a mixed bag. Braun is bigger and more athletic than Caldwell-Pope. He’s a similar defender, and a tough, competitive player. He’s a much better player in transition than Caldwell-Pope.

But he’s not nearly the same level of shooter. He’s also not as good a creator off the dribble and creating off the bounce wasn’t Caldwell-Pope’s strength.

There is a question as to whether or not the Nuggets give Julian Strawther a chance at starting, and keep Braun as the sixth man, but playing Braun 30-plus minutes a game. Strawther is a terrific shooter. The former first-round pick out of Gonzaga is long and rangy for a shooting guard at 6 foot 7. He’s more creative off the dribble than given credit. His presence helps offensively and helps the spacing of the offense.

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However, Strawther isn’t a great defender and he must get better.

Peyton Watson also is in line for an uptick in minutes, although he is likely to come off the bench, no matter what happens.

What do Nuggets need?

Internal development will aid the Nuggets here. They need Strawther, Hunter Tyson and Jalen Pickett to come back as better players, because, with the trade of Reggie Jackson to Charlotte, the Nuggets now no longer have a backup point guard. The Nuggets will need to find one in the coming days. Denver needs a lead from Braun and Strawther. The Nuggets need Michael Porter Jr. to continue to improve what he does as well.

This is the reality of the new collective bargaining agreement. Teams are going to have to spend wisely and choose wisely. It becomes more difficult to maintain a championship-level core, and Nuggets general manager Calvin Booth knows that.

Losing Brown last year and Caldwell-Pope now is difficult. It puts an onus on the Nuggets to hit on most roster moves. Denver is in the middle of Jokić’s prime and wants to maximize a winning window. It’s going to require more creativity than ever to get that done.

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Are the Nuggets done as title contenders?

No. Not as long as Jokić is in his prime, and not as long as Murray can stay upright and healthy. No matter what happens the rest of the offseason, Denver is a prime threat to come out of the Western Conference and win a title. But they probably aren’t the best team or the second-best team in the league. They aren’t title favorites, but it’s unfair to strip them of the label of title contenders.

What does that mean? The Dallas Mavericks were contenders to get out of the Western Conference, not favorites. They caught fire and played well at the right time. They encountered some favorable matchups and they made the NBA Finals. Barring a major upgrade in the coming days, that’s probably where Denver is heading into next season. The Nuggets will win 50-plus games, provided they stay healthy. They will garner a high playoff seed. From there, it will be a battle for them.

It’s not an insurmountable place to be, just a more difficult place to be.


Required reading

Robbins: Kentavious Caldwell-Pope intends to sign 3-year, $66 million deal with Magic
NBA free agency 2024: Kentavious Caldwell-Pope leads top available shooting guards

(Photo of Jamal Murray and Kentavious Caldwell-Pope: AAron Ontiveroz / The Denver Post)

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