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Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom

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Ask Amy: Exiting with some well-worn wisdom


Dear Readers: Since announcing my departure from writing this syndicated column, I have heard from scores of people across various platforms, thanking me for more than two decades of offering advice and wishing me well in my “retirement.” I am very touched and grateful for this outpouring of support.

The thing is — I don’t think of myself as retiring.

I have led a constant, reliable life. I will read even the worst book to the last page. I have never voluntarily left a relationship, an obligation, or any employment.

(I can barely stand to leave a room!)

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But I’m leaving this seven-day-a-week commitment — because I want to, and because it’s time.

My intention is to move on and to do other meaningful work.

Writing this column has given me a glimpse into thousands of lives.

The insight I have gained has inspired and empowered me to listen to my own counsel, to be authentic in my actions, and to — basically — be in charge of my own life, as much as possible.

Showing myself the door at this moment reflects the privilege of good health, strong relationships, years of steady employment, and some prudent financial choices. I’m very aware of how lucky I am.

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My favorite way to envision this work is to picture families reading these columns together at the breakfast table and weighing in with their own points of view before reading mine.

And yes, there are still parents and grandparents out there who clip the newspaper and send pertinent columns to kids in college or summer camp, or tape it to refrigerators and bathroom mirrors.

I’ve heard from healthcare workers, police officers, firefighters and office workers who say they discuss the issues raised in the column in the break room.

I love knowing that, and I’ll miss having coffee with you.

The questions raised in this space have been used as teaching tools in middle schools, memory care units, ESL classes and prisons. These are perfect venues to discuss ethical, human-sized dilemmas.

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On my last day communicating with you in this way, I feel compelled to try to sum up my experience by offering some lasting wisdom, but I’ve got no fresh insight. Everything I know has been distilled from wisdom gathered elsewhere.

Boxer Mike Tyson famously said, “Everybody has a plan, until they get punched ….” Punches are inevitable. But I do believe I’ve learned some universal truths that might soften the blows.

They are:

Show up for people.

Be gentle with yourself — and with others.

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Lead with kindness, and recognize kindness when you receive it.

Reserve your harshest judgment. Sit on your worst thoughts about other people and consider the consequences before expressing them.

Be of service by finding something, or someone, to take care of.

Find creative ways to express your feelings.

Admit to your faults and failings, and resolve to do better.

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Ask for forgiveness.

Work hard not to be defined by the worst things that have happened to you.

Recognize even the smallest blessings and express gratitude.

Be kind to receptionists, restaurant servers, dental hygienists, and anyone who needs to physically touch or serve you in order to do their job.

Understand that there are times when it is necessary to give up.

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Spend time in nature.

Identify, develop, or explore your core ethical and/or spiritual beliefs.

Recognize and detach from your own need to control someone else.

Respect boundaries — yours and others’.

Seek the counsel of people who are wiser than you are. Ask their advice, and listen.

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I sometimes supply “scripts” for people who have asked me for the right words to say, and so I thought I would boil these down to some of the most important statements I believe anyone can make.

They are:

I need help.

I’m sorry.

I forgive you.

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I love you, just as you are.

I’m on your side.

You’re safe.

You are not alone.

Now that I’m near the end of my movie, I hope you’ll pay attention to the end credits.

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Many thanks to Chicago friends and colleagues, including Jim Warren, who found me, Ann Marie Lipinski, who hired me, Steve Mandell, who represented me, and editors Mary Elson, Bill O’Connell and Carrie Williams. Thank you to “Gentleman Jack” Barry, who softened my exit.

And especially to Tracy Clark, a talented novelist who has helped to correct my faulty thinking and grammar for many years.

Finally, much gratitude to faithful readers, who can find me on social media and through my regular newsletter.

Onward!

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)

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Denver, CO

NBA Legend Proposes Cam Thomas-Denver Nuggets Deal

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NBA Legend Proposes Cam Thomas-Denver Nuggets Deal


Could the Brooklyn Nets’ No. 1 scoring option team up with a two-time league MVP?

According to Paul Pierce, it’s possible.

On a recent episode of “Ticket & The Truth,” the former Boston Celtics star suggested a move from Brooklyn to the Denver Nuggets for Cam Thomas to provide the 2023 NBA Champions with a depth boost.

“Alright, let me put my GM hat on,” Pierce said. “I think right now, for Cam, I’d like to see him off the bench for Denver. …Because they need that spark plug off the bench.”

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He may want to take that hat off.

The Nuggets do not have an asset they’d be willing to part ways with that would entice the Nets enough to move off of a 23-year-old who’s turning in over 24 points per game. And even if Denver were to offer a king’s ransom of draft capital, as long as Nikola Jokic is healthy a Nuggets’ choice will never hold much value.

Oct 29, 2024; Brooklyn, New York, USA; Brooklyn Nets small guard Cam Thomas (24) shoots the ball against the Denver Nuggets during the second half at Barclays Center. Mandatory Credit: Gregory Fisher-Imagn Images / Gregory Fisher-Imagn Images

When reports suggested Thomas could be available in negotiations, they didn’t mean Brooklyn was looking to give him away. The return would have to warrant the transaction, and a hypothetical package consisting of Christian Braun and two first-round picks (no offense Christian) won’t be enough to entice Sean Marks.

The Nets shouldn’t look to move Thomas until a can’t-say-no deal emerges. Until then, let him continue to drop nearly 25 a night on the opposition and revisit any potential thoughts of trading the electrifying scorer at February’s deadline.

Want to join the discussion? Like Nets on SI on Facebook and follow us on Twitter to stay up to date on all the latest Nets news. You can also meet the team behind the coverage.

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Who is Mike Johnston? Denver mayor dares Donald Trump over mass deportations, expresses willingness to go to jail

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Who is Mike Johnston? Denver mayor dares Donald Trump over mass deportations, expresses willingness to go to jail


Mike Johnston, the Democrat mayor of Denver, has stated that he will urge citizens to oppose the mass deportations of migrants that President-elect Donald Trump has planned in Colorado. This comes as local authorities in “sanctuary cities” have started organising how to handle the issue.

Mike Johnston, mayor of Denver, Colorado, stated that he is prepared to serve time in prison in order to halt any attempts at deportation.(Bloomberg)

Speaking to Denver’s station 9, Johnston, 50, stated that he is prepared to serve time in prison in order to halt any attempts at deportation.

Calling it a “Tiananmen Square moment,” the mayor of Denver has pledged to use local police and 50,000 citizens “stationed at the county line” to protect migrants residing in his sanctuary city from Trump’s mass deportation.

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“More than us having [federal agents] stationed at the county line to keep them out, you would have 50,000 Denverites there,” he stated.

“It’s like the Tiananmen Square moment … right?” Johnston asked, making a reference to the well-known conflict between a Chinese student and a government tank at Tiananmen Square, China, during the 1989 uprising.

“You’d have every one of those Highland moms who came out for the migrants,” he continued, adding that “And you do not want to mess with them,” recalling the time when Denver people were reportedly ready to fight the federal government to the death.

Mike Johnston faces flak for his warning

Danielle Jurinsky (R), a councilwoman for Aurora City, told The Post that Johnston’s strategy will simply highlight his ineffectiveness in one of the nation’s so-called sanctuary cities, which deter or prohibit local officials from assisting federal immigration investigators in migrant cases.

“Aurora does not plan to provide the Trump administration any assistance, as far as I know, but we will certainly not stand in the way of what the American people voted for,” he stated.

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Also Read: Trump border Czar Tom Homan issues fresh warning to President-elect’s critics, illegal migrants: ‘You got a problem’

After Johnston compared his endeavor to Tiananmen Square, Xi Van Fleet, a Chinese survivor of Mao’s revolution, lambasted him on Thursday, telling Fox Business that he is “either profoundly ignorant of the history, or he did the false analogy on purpose.”

Elon Musk, who Trump just appointed to lead the new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), also reacted to Johnston’s warning, saying that it demonstrates “the mayor of Denver hates his constituents.”

Trump’s border czar speaks out

Tom Homan, Trump’s choice for “border czar,” told The Post that he hopes the incoming government will sue sanctuary communities and stop providing them with federal funds.

He claimed that if they don’t alter their stand, the Trump government will “flood” certain communities with Immigration and Customs Enforcement personnel to stay outside local prison for the release of illegal migrants.

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Johnston declared that he would not permit local law enforcement to help the federal government apprehend undocumented migrants.

“Absolutely not,” Johnston remarked. “We won’t do it.”



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Stats Rundown: 5 numbers to know from the Mavericks’ gutsy 123-120 win at the Denver Nuggets

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Stats Rundown: 5 numbers to know from the Mavericks’ gutsy 123-120 win at the Denver Nuggets


The Dallas Mavericks (9-7) showed a little backbone in crunch time on Friday, gutting out a 123-120 win over the Denver Nuggets (8-6) at Ball Arena. Sure, the Mavericks coughed up a 24-point lead in the process, but they didn’t fold, even without Luka Dončić, who missed the game with a wrist sprain.

Dereck Lively II blocked two big shots in the game’s final two minutes to help P.J. Washington key a late 9-0 Mavs run to preserve the win. Naji Marshall led seven Mavericks scoring in double figures with 26 points in the win, but Washington was huge down the stretch as well and ended the night with 22 points, 13 rebounds and three steals. Nikola Jokic led the Nuggets with 33 points, 17 rebounds and 10 assists in the loss.

Here are five stats that tell the tale of what went down in Denver on Friday night.

7-of-9: Quentin Grimes’ and P.J. Washington’s shooting start

Playing without the safety net that is Dončić, the scoring was going to have to come from somewhere for the Mavericks. As they’ve done a couple of times before this season, the Mavs force-fed Washington in the post early in the first. He made his first three shot attempts on two post-up opportunities against smaller Denver defenders and a mid-range banker that gave the Mavs an early 9-3 advantage just two and a half minutes in. Quentin Grimes took Dončić’s spot in the starting lineup and promptly hit his first two 3-point attempts to apply a little early pressure on Denver’s home floor.

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Kyrie Irving found Grimes streaking in transition for an easy dunk that put Dallas up 18-9 with just under seven minutes left in the first. Grimes hit his fourth straight shot attempt to start the game less than two minutes later, a mid-range jumper with a hand in his face that kept the Mavericks in front, 22-15 at the time.

Grimes led all scorers with 10 points in the first, but Denver chipped away at the lead in the last four minutes of the frame, and Dallas led 33-31 after one.

15-2: Mavs’ late second-quarter run

Irving and Naji Marshall ignited a 15-2 Mavericks run as the second quarter wound down to give Dallas a little breathing room before halftime. Jokic scored underneath after rebounding his own miss over Lively to pull the Nuggets to within 47-44 midway through the second, but Irving and Marshall combined to score 17 of the game’s next 20 points as the Mavs built their lead to as large as 19 points. Irving’s drive through the lane with 2:19 left in the first half gave the Mavericks a 63-46 lead. Marshall kept Dallas’ momentum rolling about a minute later with a tough drive in transition through several Denver defenders to give the Mavs a 67-49 advantage.

Irving and Marshall scored 15 apiece in the first half, while Jokic led all scorers with 19 points and pulled down eight rebounds for the Nuggets. The Mavs went off for 40 in the second quarter and led 73-53 at the break. The second quarter was the second time Dallas has scored 40 or more in a quarter this season.

13-of-15: Dallas’ first-half shooting in the restricted area

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Kyrie Irving #11 and Dereck Lively II #2 of the Dallas Mavericks look on during the game against the Denver Nuggets during the Emirates NBA Cup game on November 22, 2024 at Ball Arena in Denver, Colorado.
Photo by Garrett Ellwood/NBAE via Getty Images

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Any way you look at it, Dallas was dominant inside in the first half. It would be a very repeatable way to win should the Mavs choose to repeat the effort any time soon. There was a concerted effort on everyone’s part to get to the rim whether in transition or in the halfcourt offense.

The Mavs shot 13-of-15 in the restricted area in the first half at Denver. They outscored the Nuggets 44-20 in the paint in the first half as well. It wasn’t just Lively and Daniel Gafford feasting in the middle, either. Seven of Irving’s 12 first-half shot attempts came at or near the rim. Marshall and Washington got involved, consistently getting shots in the lane if not right at the rim. It was a big part of the reason the Mavericks shot 30-of-49 (61.2%) from the field in the first half.

27-6: Denver’s third-quarter run fueled by Michael Porter Jr.

Dallas held Michael Porter Jr. to just four points on 1-of-4 shooting in the first half. Without Aaron Gordon (calf strain) in the lineup, Porter Jr.’s lack of production was no small part of what set Denver back in the first half.

He hit a finger roll in the lane and a step-back in the midrange on back-to-back possessions early in the quarter before driving through the teeth of the Dallas defense for a dunk and following that up with a long 3-pointer the next time down to bring the Nuggets to within 81-69 midway through the third. It all stretched into an excruciating 27-6 Nuggets run that brought Denver all the way back to within six, down just 83-77 after Jokic’ leaner in the lane with 3:29 left in the third. Porter Jr. scored 11 on 5-of-6 shooting (2-of-3 from 3-point range) in the quarter, and the Mavs’ led 95-89 heading into the fourth.

26: A career-high scoring night for Naji Marshall

Marshall provided the big bucket the Mavericks needed time and time again down the stretch. He never shied away from the big moment, showing that knack for getting into the lane and scoring on tough leaners. He weaved through the Denver defense and finished with a high banker late in the shot clock with 20 seconds left to play to give the Mavs a 119-115 lead. That basket also gave Marshall a new career-high scoring night with 26 points on 11-of-15 shooting.

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He wasn’t just a threat going to the bucket, either. After missing his last 14 3-point attempts coming into the game, Marshall hit 3-of-4 from distance in the win over the Nuggets. The Dallas bench outscored the Denver bench 57-24 behind Marshall’s 26 in the win.

You can listen to our latest podcast episode in the player embedded below, and to make sure you don’t miss a single one moving forward, subscribe to the Pod Maverick podcast feed on Apple, Spotify, Pandora, Pocketcasts, YouTube, YouTube Podcasts, Amazon Music, Castbox.

You can check out our After Dark Recap podcasts, YouTube Live recordings, and guest shows on the Pod Maverick Podcast feed. Please subscribe, rate, and review.



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