Denver, CO
Asking Eric: Step-grandmother neglected by grandkids
Dear Eric: My grandchildren are 23 and 18. I married their grandfather before they were born. I always felt like they were my grandchildren and not step-grandchildren. They have lived with their grandmother (my husband’s ex) because their mother was unable to care for them.
We lived three hours away, but we would take them for weekends as much as we could. We worked full time and their grandmother held much resentment that she and her husband had to give up their retirement years to raise children. We sent money, attended as many events as possible, or were made aware of, paid for extras like trips, car, tuition, etc., but it was never enough.
Through the years, I never received a card, gift, phone call or text on any holiday, or my birthday. My husband got calls and maybe a card. He passed away a few months ago. I made a point to drive to see them over the Christmas holidays, take them to lunch and give them cash gifts (I’m close to 80 years old). I also send cards with cash on days like Valentine’s Day, Easter, etc. I would have to text them to see if they received these cards.
I made a few phone calls right after my husband died, only to have it go to voicemail and then just a text back saying they got my call. I love them dearly, they are the only grandchildren I will have, and they are basically very good kids that have survived a traumatic childhood.
When I am with them, they are loving, full of enthusiasm and say they will keep in touch and maybe even come see me. Then, nothing. I know it is their age; young people are consumed with self and do not think about an old lady, maybe just wanting a call or a text.
Do I continue sending cards with cash? Do I initiate the phone call or text?
— Abandoned Grandmother
Dear Grandmother: My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband and that you’re not getting the support from your grandchildren that you desire.
It’s true what you write: there is a generational lacuna that sometimes keeps young people from seeing the value of their grandparents and other seniors until it’s too late. But you grandchildren are adults and can be responsible for their actions.
With regard to the cards, turn off the ATM, at least temporarily. You’re showing love and care by sending money, but because it’s not reciprocated, it’s become commodified. It’s not your fault, but it’s easy to feel like you’re not getting a return on your investment.
Removing money from the equation will clear the way for you to have a conversation with your grandchildren individually. It doesn’t have to be long or overwrought. Say to them, “I love you and I miss you. I need you to call me once a month” (or whatever cadence feels right to you). “Put it on your calendar. This is the way that you can show me that you value me.”
Hold them to it. Sometimes the best way to show someone that you love them is to say, “This relationship isn’t working for me; here’s how we can make it work together.”
Dear Eric: I got into an argument with my husband and afterward I went into my bedroom to be away from him. My best friend, who was visiting, didn’t ask me how I was doing. Instead, she sat with him in the living room, watching TV, listening to him tell her how I’m no longer the same person and I’ve gone off my rocker etc.
I am extremely upset over the fact that she never came to see me and ask how I was. I feel like she really isn’t a true friend to me.
Since the incident, I have been cordial and have been treating her as an acquaintance rather than a friend.
I am not sure if I should continue our friendship and sit down to try to repair our relationship. How should I proceed?
— Betrayed Bestie
Dear Bestie: Your husband shouldn’t be bad-mouthing you to your friend, especially within earshot. That creates a complicated dynamic for everyone.
But I suspect that the complicated dynamic was probably already in place before you went to your bedroom. It’s very uncomfortable being alone with a couple while they fight. Your friend may have felt trapped.
Reach out to her and let her know about your feelings in order to clear the air. Ask her how she feels about the whole thing. If she felt that she was put into a position she didn’t want to be in, make amends.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
Denver, CO
Denver Country Club caddie earns full-ride Evans Scholarship, becomes first in family to attend college
DENVER — What started as a summer job has turned into a life-changing opportunity for Denver-area student Vanessa Olivar.
The 18-year-old Denver Country Club caddie has earned the prestigious Evans Scholarship, a full tuition and housing scholarship awarded by the Western Golf Association to caddies who demonstrate strong character, academic achievement, financial need and a strong caddie record.
Watch Bradey King’s story on how Olivar persevered to nab this scholarship in the video below.
Denver Country Club caddie earns full-ride Evans Scholarship
Olivar is one of 15 students from Colorado to receive the scholarship this year and will attend the University of Colorado Boulder this fall.
When she first heard about caddying through her high school’s assistant principal, Olivar said she wasn’t sure it was the right fit.
“I didn’t know anything about the game of golf,” she said. “At first, I was a little doubtful and nervous, but I thought it would be a great summer job. I quickly found out that it was more than just carrying a golfer’s bag.”
Over the past three years, Olivar learned the responsibilities that come with the job, from carrying clubs and providing yardages to building relationships with members and fellow caddies.
“I learned a strong work ethic, and the relationships that I built through caddying have really shaped who I am today,” she said.
Her dedication paid off when she received the news that she had earned the Evans Scholarship.
“I got that flag saying, ‘Congratulations,’ and I was so excited,” Olivar said. “Words couldn’t express how excited my family and I were for this great opportunity that I worked so hard for over three years.”
The scholarship carries even greater significance because Olivar will become the first person in her family to attend college.
“I’m a first-generation college student,” she said. “Coming from immigrant parents, I kind of had to navigate this world by myself.”
Her parents immigrated to the United States when they were 18, and Olivar said their sacrifices inspired her to pursue higher education.
“Being able to tell my parents they don’t have to pay for my college takes that weight off their shoulders, but also mine,” she said.
Western Golf Association officials say Olivar exemplifies the qualities the Evans Scholarship is designed to recognize.
“The scholarship is based upon four principles: Their caddie record, their academic record, their financial need, but really what’s most important is their character,” said Brian Wilkinson, the Western Golf Association Director at Denver Country Club. “Vanessa expresses the great character and leadership that we’re looking for in young women and men.”
At CU Boulder, Olivar plans to major in public health with a minor in business before pursuing dental school.
She said the opportunity has changed the trajectory of her future.
“I knew I wanted to go to college, and I wanted to have a further education,” Olivar said. “I just didn’t know how I was going to do that. I didn’t know caddying was eventually going to change that for me. It’s a scholarship that has changed my life forever.
Denver7
Denver7 | Your Voice: Get in touch with Bradey King
Denver7’s Bradey King reports on the entire sports landscape in Colorado, including Denver’s pro teams, but is always looking for stories off the field and in the non-professional ranks. If you’d like to get in touch with Bradey, fill out the form below to send her an email.
Denver, CO
Denver area events for July 13
Denver, CO
Nuggets sign former Denver West basketball player Alpha Diallo out of EuroLeague
The Nuggets have made a habit of signing bench players with Colorado ties.
The latest homecoming they’ve arranged is for Alpha Diallo, who played a season of high school basketball at Denver West and is now signing a one-year, $1.4 million minimum contract with Denver in NBA free agency, a league source told The Denver Post on Sunday.
Diallo, 29, was named Defensive Player of the Year in the EuroLeague last season. This will be his first foray into the NBA after a five-year stint with AS Monaco. He recently committed to join Dubai Basketball on a multiyear deal, according to a report by the European media outlet BasketNews, but his contract included a clause granting his release if he left for the NBA by July 15.
The Nuggets have signed Diallo, Reggie Jackson (Palmer High School), David Roddy (Colorado State) and KJ Simpson (CU) to various deals in the last three years.
Born in New York, Diallo helped lead Denver West to the Colorado Class 4A Sweet 16 as a sophomore. He transferred to Lincoln High before his junior season, but he was ruled ineligible to compete for the entire school year due to what CHSAA deemed an implicit recruiting violation; Lincoln’s coach at the time had just coached Diallo in a summer tournament.
The eligibility fight with CHSAA eventually led Diallo to leave the state. He returned to the East Coast and played four years of college basketball at Providence, where he earned Second Team All-Big East honors twice.
Signing Diallo is the latest example of Denver’s attempt to prioritize defense and athleticism around Nikola Jokic. Last month, the Nuggets drafted Trevon Brazile and Bryce Hopkins in the second round, betting on defensive upside in both cases. They’ve also replaced backup center Jonas Valanciunas with the younger, bouncier Marvin Bagley III on a veteran minimum contract.
Denver tentatively has 12 players under contract on its 15-man roster for the 2026-27 season now: Nikola Jokic, Jamal Murray, Aaron Gordon, Cam Johnson, Christian Braun, Zeke Nnaji, Julian Strawther, DaRon Holmes II, Tyus Jones, Bagley, Brazile and Diallo. Restricted free agency negotiations have not yet been resolved with Peyton Watson and Spencer Jones.
Diallo will count for $2.45 million toward the luxury tax despite his $1.4 million salary, the minimum for NBA rookies. The accounting quirk exists so that owners aren’t incentivized to overlook more experienced free agents for tax purposes; the tax ramifications are equal for all minimum signings, regardless of NBA service time.
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