Editor’s be aware: This story is a part of an occasional collection in regards to the Akbarzadas and their journey in life and in love within the U.S.

The Vow, Act 1

“Marriage is a joyful time. After we consider weddings, we take into consideration the appeal of affection, the heat of house, and with all that’s nice, as being probably the most necessary occasions in our lives. It is a very powerful and binding promise identified to man.”

On a latest Sunday, the third day of Ramadan, a Christian pastor officiated a marriage for a younger, Muslim couple.

 “You guys prepared?,” the Rev. Chad McFadden started, in entrance of a small group of household and pals at an Indianapolis church.

With shy smiles and their fingers interlocked, Sulaman and Arzo Akbarzada walked down the aisle, carrying a black tuxedo and white robe they’d worn earlier than. 

This was their third try and get married. They hoped this time would work.

On their first wedding ceremony day in August, they have been compelled into hiding after the Taliban took over Afghanistan and put their lives at risk. “If we keep, we die,” Sulaman remembers pondering. They escaped to the U.S. with their households and 1000’s of different Afghan residents, whom the U.S. was welcoming as refugees. 

On their second wedding ceremony day in October, new pals in Indiana — U.S. troopers, state division officers, and volunteers — have been so touched by the brand new couple’s plight, they put collectively a standard wedding ceremony ceremony for them at Camp Atterbury, an Indiana Nationwide Guard coaching website. Sulaman, Arzo and about 7,200 different folks have been staying there briefly as a part of the federal government’s Afghan resettlement mission.

Love Actions:Warfare disrupted their wedding ceremony. Love helps them begin a brand new life in Indiana

Camp Atterbury:Contained in the Indiana camp housing 1000’s of Afghan evacuees

That wedding ceremony went properly, and shortly after, Sulaman and Arzo moved into their Indianapolis house, however after the preliminary marital bliss got here … forms. 

After they went to use for his or her marriage license, they realized that their union wasn’t legit. That they had no picture IDs or proof of residency on the time, which meant that regardless of the fanfare and images at their Camp Atterbury ceremony, they weren’t technically married.

You need to get married once more, Sulaman was advised.

“Once more??” he remembers pondering.

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The Vow, Act 2

“To have and to carry from today ahead. For higher, for worse. For richer, for poorer. In illness and in well being. To like and to cherish. For so long as we each shall stay.”

Since leaving Afghanistan, Sulaman and Arzo needed to take a leap of religion — as husband-and-wife and as new People — all whereas processing the astronomical life adjustments solely immigrants can perceive. Fleeing their homeland in disaster. Discovering a house in another country. 

“Arzo was the one, she simply helped me lots (after I) suffered,” Sulaman mentioned. One of many hardest components of his journey has been abandoning his sister in Afghanistan. In moments of ache, Arzo comforts him.

“She’s all the time giving me coronary heart, power and say(ing), like, ‘OK, you’re right here, she is going to come. … Don’t fear about it.’”

They’re attempting to not fear an excessive amount of, however even right here, challenges abound.

Sulaman has cared for his sick spouse within the hospital. Arzo has fearful for her husband when he works lengthy hours.

They’ve been residing out their wedding ceremony guarantees lengthy earlier than their ceremony in April, the “official” one that might cement their marriage on paper and within the eyes of the regulation.

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In contrast to their wedding ceremony at Camp Atterbury, this time, they obtained married by a pastor as an alternative of an imam, who carried out the ceremony in English as an alternative of Arabic. They stood in a principally empty church, with relations and some shut pals. 

Sulaman grew up in a Muslim family, however he selected the church and a Christian pastor, the Rev. McFadden — not solely on account of probability and circumstance — but in addition as a result of he’s all the time been open-minded about faith.

“It doesn’t matter,” Sulaman mentioned. “(What) issues is, I promised my spouse. … It’s all in regards to the promise (you) make (to) your spouse. That’s all.” 

For years, Sulaman has been interested in completely different faiths, all the time asking questions “about every part,” he mentioned. He has some basic data about different religions, however he desires to learn every of their main texts, just like the Bible and Torah.

“I actually wish to know my God, and I need to hear from (Him) himself,” Sulaman defined. “If I discover my God in a single faith, I’ll stick on that.”

He desires to search out what’s greatest for him. He desires to be agency in his religion. Right here in his nation, Sulaman mentioned, he can accomplish that freely and with out concern.

“In America, the most effective factor is you’ll be able to select your individual approach,” Sulaman mentioned. “In my nation, no approach.”

“You do not have a proper even to (minimize) your beard or (develop) it,” he added, for instance.

The Taliban beforehand dominated Afghan society with a harsh interpretation of Islam, claiming that shaving or slicing beards goes towards the faith. Remnants of that outdated governance seems to be coming again.

In September, the group ordered barbershops in a single area to cease shaving or trimming beards, in response to the Related Press. Final month, Reuters reported that the Taliban has instituted a rule requiring all authorities staff to put on beards and observe their costume code, or get fired.

Since being in Indiana for the final seven months, Sulaman has modified his facial hair a number of instances, going from a trimmed beard to a clean-shaven face again to the bearded look.

He is all the time appreciated American tradition, studying English by way of Hollywood motion pictures and rap music. He lists off 50 Cent, Akon, Eminem, Tupac, Dr. Dre, saying “they have been my instructor.” After they obtained engaged in Afghanistan, he took Arzo on dates to eat pizza and rooster wings. 

Deep down, he all the time envisioned himself coming to America in the future.

In the present day, he’s right here, in a dream born out of a nightmare state of affairs. However he’s right here.

“I am right here. I am free,” Sulaman mentioned. “I can select by my very own.”

The Vow, Act 3 

“The rings are a logo of the guarantees that you have made to at least one one other. Their never-ending circle, as an image of your love for each other, is to be never-ending on this life. It is constructed from valuable metallic to indicate that this relationship is to be valued increased than the rest.”

On Sulaman and Arzo’s “redo” wedding ceremony day, a mixture of beliefs and backgrounds got here collectively in an intimate household gathering.

McFadden, the Christian pastor, quoted the Bible and helped the couple get married in a church. Earlier than and after the ceremony, Sulaman’s mother and father, Parwin and Dawood Akbarzada, and his brothers prayed, 5 instances all through the day, towards the holy land Mecca, for Ramadan. 

They fasted that day, too, however nonetheless, they cooked and graciously served a selfmade Afghan meal of white rice, kabobs and curries of meat and lentils for his or her visitors — new pals who are actually chosen household.

The pastor, his spouse and 4 younger children. Their refugee case employee. A state worker and Indiana Nationwide Guard soldier who have been stationed at Camp Atterbury. All have helped the Akbarzada household modify to life in America.

Sitting round a lounge espresso desk, they feasted on the meals and one another’s firm.

Parwin, Sulaman’s mom, made a degree to fulfill the pastor’s children — she loves children, Sulaman defined. Larry Cassagne, a household pal, joked about how Arzo appeared to have picked up his Mountain Dew behavior. They stayed for hours.

“In our tradition, we are saying visitors are like God’s visitors,” Dawood, Sulaman’s father, smiled and mentioned in Hindi, one among a number of languages he speaks. “It brings happiness.”

The Akbarzada household got here to America to be accepted, however now that they are right here, they’re accepting and welcoming others of their house, too.

“It’s wonderful, I used to be sitting within the room … taking a look at simply all of the completely different backgrounds that have been there,” McFadden mentioned. “And to assume that solely God might deliver a friendship in all of that and unity, and to have the ability to love each other.”

Sulaman lately requested a Bible in Dari, which McFadden was in a position to order for him from Canada. And after assembly the Akbarzadas and former years of internet hosting overseas trade college students, McFadden, too, is now finding out the Quran to higher perceive Islam.

Although his household fasted that day, Sulaman didn’t. He wished to help Arzo, who was not fasting.

It was his alternative.

Quickly, Sulaman and Arzo will have the ability to cross that reward alongside as mother and father.

The couple has a child boy due in November.

“I cannot power him with something,” Sulaman mentioned. “He can go and see and discover. I’ll help him till I die. I’ll help him … till he finds his approach.”

Contact Rashika Jaipuriar at rjaipuriar@gannett.com and observe her on Twitter @rashikajpr.