Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: During my year of yes, could I find love at LACMA’s jazz night?
We were invited to Los Angeles County Museum of Art’s jazz night by our mutual friends, Rich and Nicole. I, the self-appointed queen of snacks, brought a plethora of goodies and drinks from my Sherman Oaks apartment. This was one of my very first forays back into the world post-COVID-19 vaccine, and I was mostly ready to mix and mingle again with the masses.
Nicole waved me over to the chairs up front, coveted seats that Alex had saved by getting there an hour early on the bus. I said “Hi” and extended my apologies for being late.
“Tho thsorry,” I sighed with a slight lisp from my new Invisaligns. (I would later learn Alex thought my orthodontia-induced speech impediment was pretty cute.) “I parked so far away I might as well be in the Valley.”
Alex chuckled.
I would soon learn that this die-hard Westsider had not owned a car since his 2001 Cadillac DeVille’s transmission blew up on the 5 Freeway four years ago. I passed out thimbles of sake I brought to share and noticed a woman sitting next to Alex. She was smiling at the group. I asked her if she’d like some too.
I thought Alex was pretty cute in his light maroon jacket — the kind that’s perfect for those May gray evenings — and one that highlighted his wispy blond hair. But I figured the smiling sake lady and he were together.
The next two hours were filled with chitchat in between sets: Nicole’s end-of-school-year frenzy, Rich’s musician thoughts about those sweet drum riffs and where we should all go to grab a bite after. The Grove or Canter’s? Alex and I were seated at opposite ends in our row. I passed down snacks and at some point noticed the woman who was sitting next to him was no longer there.
Maybe, that wasn’t his girlfriend. Could it be that he was unattached?
After the concert, we strolled on Fairfax Avenue. I learned that Alex was originally from Long Island, N.Y., and asked him to break out an accent like “The Sopranos.” He gave me a dutiful “fuhgeddaboudit.” As a Midwestern transplant, I found this hilarious. We stopped for ice cream at Wanderlust.
Conversation was easy. After all, we had each known Rich and Nicole for years. Somehow, though, Alex and I had never met at the Friendsgivings or birthday get-togethers. We would later recount the almosts and the maybes in our nearly 20 years in Los Angeles. At one point, he was staying at a motel just a five-minute walk from my first apartment near Hollywood Boulevard and Western Avenue.
Could we have run into each other at the nearby Ralphs? Maybe it was just not the right time — till now.
The next month, the four of us met up for another jazz club and wandered again to Wanderlust. A few weeks later, I got a text from Alex asking if we should keep jazz club going while Rich and Nicole were on their honeymoon.
This was my self-proclaimed, post-isolation year of yes, and I made a promise to myself to be more open by saying more yeses to things. I texted him back: Yes!
I was unsure if this was a date, but I packed my summer picnic bag full of yummy snacks and once again headed over the hill to Mid-Wilshire. When I got there, Alex had saved two seats, and I realized it would just be the two of us for two hours of jazz. I offered him a Trader Joe’s drink and reminded myself that I was in my 40s now and that it was OK to just be myself. With the background of those sweet drum riffs and a little liquid courage, Alex and I shared how we both ended up in L.A. Turns out we were both in search of a new life path — one that wasn’t already figured out for us back home.
After the concert, we headed toward our routine haunt but then opted to make a new memory at the Original Farmers Market, where we ordered a couple of coffees and doughnuts before Bob’s Coffee & Doughnuts closed.
As I swiveled on my diner stool, the butterflies started to grow.
We strolled back to my car, and I offered him a ride. He declined, but I couldn’t quite fathom how he was going to get home so late at night. (Two years later, I would opt in to Alex’s car-free lifestyle too.)
In my teacher-voice, I insisted.
He hopped in the car and extended the seat, his 6-foot-2 frame expanded like an accordion. I unabashedly asked him to hand me my night-driving glasses. He calmly said, “I don’t know where those are.”
I was so comfortable with him already that I forgot we didn’t really know each other yet. As I opened the glove compartment, our hands slightly brushed each other’s, and there was a moment of excitement. Per his request, I dropped him near La Cienega and Santa Monica boulevards. He would catch the No. 4 bus home, which runs all night on Santa Monica Boulevard, and I would take the Canyon over the hill back to my place.
We said our goodbyes as we watched a sedan make a left and get stuck in the middle of the median. Never a dull moment out west.
Our second date at the Getty summer concert yielded a third date at SoFi Stadium, where the Red Hot Chili Peppers sang our song: “Sometimes I feel like I don’t have a partner / sometimes I feel like my only friend is the city I live in, the City of Angels / Lonely as a I am, together we cry.”
As we kissed, I knew that this would be something special, a gift that only L.A. could offer.
The author lives with her boyfriend, Alex, on the Westside. They are car-free and still take the No. 4 bus to jazz club at the LACMA every summer.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Lifestyle
All about character: Jane Austen fans on their favorites
Jane Austen ready to party for her 250th birthday at the Jane Austen Society of North America’s Annual General Meeting in Baltimore.
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In her six completed novels, Jane Austen excelled at love stories: Elinor and Edward, Lizzie and Darcy, Fanny and Edmund, Emma and Knightley, Anne and Wentworth, heck even Catherine and Tilney. As her fans celebrate the 250th anniversary of her birth, they’d like you to know it’s a mistake to simply dismiss her work as light, frothy romances. It’s full of intricate plots, class satire and biting wit, along with all the timeless drama of human foibles, frailties and resolve.
Tessa Harings (left) learns English country dance at the Jane Austen Society of North America’s 2025 Annual General Meeting
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“The basic reason why Austen is still popular today is because all of her characters are people we know in the world,” says Tessa Harings. She’s a high school teacher from Phoenix and one of the more than 900 attendees at the Jane Austen Society of North America’s Annual General Meeting, held in Baltimore this year. “We all know of someone who’s shy and aloof and needs to be brought into the crowd. We all know someone who’s quite witty, naturally. We all know someone who is a bit silly and always looking for attention.”
Colin Firth, properly memed from the 1995 BBC miniseries. His Darcy is a big favorite with the JASNA crowd.
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Shy and aloof? That could be Darcy. Naturally witty? Lizzie Bennet. Silly and looking for attention? Take your pick: baby sister Lydia or maybe the haughty Caroline Bingley or the unctuous Mr. Collins, all creations from what might be Austen’s most popular novel, Pride and Prejudice.
Her characters have permeated modern pop culture, even among people who’ve never opened her books. Harings says that’s one reason her students want to read these Regency-era novels. They want to understand the jokes in all those short videos and memes, like Mr. Collins making awkward dinner conversation.
He wants a wife, he compliments the potatoes. In Mr. Collin’s head, it makes sense.
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Her students enjoy the tension between Darcy and Lizzie: he’s very rich, so besotted by her against his will that he can hardly dance, glower and talk at the same time. Lizzie initially cannot stand him and refuses his first proposal, as shown in this soggy scene from the 2005 movie adaptation.
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Harings says Lizzie is her favorite Austen character. “She has such sharp, sarcastic wit and she’s so self-confident, despite the fact that she’s constantly being put down by the people around her for her supposedly lower position in life as the slightly less pretty of the mother’s two oldest daughters.”
Milliner Dannielle Perry (right) and her assistant Mia Berg of Timely Tresses in their Regency-era togs.
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“When I was a teenager, I loved Lizzie and I wanted to be Lizzie,” says milliner Dannielle Perry of Oxford, N.C. She’s read and reread all of Jane Austen’s books and she loves how they change for her as she’s gotten older. She’s now more sympathetic toward Mrs. Bennet, Lizzie’s mom: a woman desperate to get her five daughters married, least they be penniless since they can’t inherit their father’s estate. “I feel sorry for her in a way I never did before,” Perry says. “She is sort of silly, but she’s lived with a man for 20 years who largely dismisses her and thinks she’s frivolous.”
Doctoral student Katie Yu, of Dallas, has this analysis of Mrs. Bennett and her husband, who seems mentally checked-out at best: “He’s not a great father. He’s always putting his wife down in front of his daughters, he’s putting his daughters down in front of his daughters.” Yu says Mr. Bennet married Mrs. Bennet because she was pretty, treats her as an inferior, and often ignores her. This is why Mrs. Bennet goes on about her nerves and “has the vapors” whenever she’s stressed: she’s trying to get his attention.
“But,” says Tessa Harings, “she still has a level of street smarts that she has to get her daughters married. And yes, she’s sincerely concerned about their future … she actually, of the two of them, is the more concerned and involved parent.”
Tom Tumbusch explains 19th century dance moves to JASNA members.
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Dance instructor Tom Tumbusch, of Cincinnati, says men can learn a lot from Austen. “Modern men struggle to find good role models,” he says. “Reading Austen’s works can help them see the places where men can go wrong.” Mr. Bennet, for example. Or the libertine George Wickham who lies and runs off with the flighty Bennet sister, Lydia. Or maybe Willoughby from Sense and Sensibility, who leads Marianne Dashwood on, ghosts her and is later revealed to have abandoned an unmarried woman who gave birth to his child.
Oh, Marianne, he’s so not worth it!
On the other hand, Tumbusch says Jane Austen’s heroes can show men “how to be masculine in a constructive way,” like owning mistakes, taking responsibility and treating women with respect. It’s not just Darcy, who works behind the scenes getting Wickham to marry Lydia, it’s also Captain Wentworth from Persuasion. Tombusch says Wentworth does what men of his station should: he uses his own resources to help someone less fortunate, the poor, partially disabled widow Mrs. Smith. And in Sense and Sensibility, there’s the steadfast Col. Brandon. Hoping to make Willoughby’s rejection of Marianne less devastating to her, he exposes the libertine’s behavior. He rides hours to retrieve her mother when Marianne is near death. He patiently, oh-so-patiently, waits for her young, broken heart to mend.
All this while wearing a flannel waistcoat because he’s on the “wrong side of five and thirty” and needs to keep those ancient bones warm.
Before he rocked worlds as Snape, Alan Rickman made the earth move for viewers of the 1995 movie adaptation of Sense and Sensibility.
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JASNA president Mary Mintz, of McLean, Va., says though Jane Austen is largely known for her marriage plots, it’s really the human need for connection that grounds her stories. “She writes about the relationships between parents and children, between siblings or among siblings, she writes about relationships with friends. And she is really insightful. When you combine that with her knowledge of human psychology, it’s a great formula for success.”

Mintz is fascinated by Emma’s pivotal character, Miss Bates. She’s a spinster and member of the gentry class who lives with her elderly mother on an extremely limited income. She’s also a nervous chatterbox, “someone who can’t stop talking,” says Mintz. “I’ve known a lot of Misses Bates in my lifetime… people who seem insecure and feel as though they have to fill up silence, but are really good-hearted people.”
When Emma is rude to Miss Bates, she’s firmly chastised by her neighbor, Mr. Knightley. It becomes a turn-around moment in the story. Humbled, Emma apologizes. She also sees how she’s been wrong to meddle in the love life of Harriet Smith, a pretty teenager whose parents are unknown.
Mintz says there’s an interesting link between Bates and Harriet, if you put two and two together.
“In Jane Austen’s actual life, mothers and daughters often share the same name,” she explains. That pattern can be seen in many of her novels. “We don’t know who Harriet Smith’s natural mother is, but at one point Miss Bates is referred to as ‘Hetty,’ which could be a diminutive for ‘Harriet.’ “
That’s the first clue. The second clue occurs during that scene where Knightley sets Emma right. He says of Miss Bates, “she has sunk from the comforts she was born to.” He then draws a contrast between the spinster’s current station and her former one: “You, whom she had known from an infant, whom she had seen grow up from a period when her notice was an honour…”
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Emma’s father is quite wealthy, so why would Miss Bates’ notice have once been so esteemed? Mary Mintz asks, “Is because she had a child out of wedlock?”
And could that child be… Harriet Smith?
The mind: it boggles! A Jane Austen Easter egg! It’s just one example of how multi-dimensional her novels are and why so many people will continue loving, analyzing and discussing her work well into the next 250 years.

Jacob Fenston and Danny Hensel edited and produced this report.
Lifestyle
Rob Reiner and Wife Michele Had Throats Slit By Family Member
Rob Reiner And Wife Michele
Throats Slit By Family Member
Published
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Updated
Rob Reiner and his wife Michele had their throats slit by a family member, possibly after an argument inside their Los Angeles home, leading to their tragic deaths … TMZ has learned
It’s unclear what exactly triggered the violence, which went down Sunday afternoon in Brentwood … but we’re told one of Rob’s daughters found her parents dead and told police a family member had killed them. PEOPLE reports the couple’s son, Nick, is being questioned in connection with the murders.
Our sources also say the daughter told police the family member “should be a suspect” because they’re “dangerous.”
TMZ broke the story … Rob and Michele suffered lacerations consistent with knife wounds and LAPD’s Robbery Homicide Division is investigating the case.
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Dispatch audio captures a firefighter calling for backup to the Brentwood mansion around 3:30 PM … though it doesn’t provide any further information about the circumstances in the abode.
Rob was 78. Michele was 68.
Lifestyle
Sunday Puzzle: Major U.S. cities
Sunday Puzzle
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On-air challenge
I’m going to read you some sentences. Each sentence conceals the name of a major U.S. city in consecutive letters. As a hint, the answer’s state also appears in the sentence. Every answer has at least six letters. (Ex. The Kentucky bodybuilders will be flexing tonight. –> LEXINGTON)
1. Space enthusiasts in Oregon support landing on Mars.
2. Contact your insurance branch or agent in Alaska.
3. The Ohio company has a sale from today to next Sunday.
4. The Colorado trial ended in a sudden verdict.
5. Fans voted the Virginia tennis matches a peak experience.
6. I bought a shamrock for decorating my house in Illinois.
7. All the Connecticut things they knew have now changed.
8. Can you help a software developer in Texas?
Last week’s challenge
Last week’s challenge came from Mike Reiss, who’s a showrunner, writer, and producer for “The Simpsons.” Think of a famous living singer. The last two letters of his first name and the first two letters of his last name spell a bird. Change the first letter of the singer’s first name. Then the first three letters of that first name and the last five letters of his last name together spell another bird. What singer is this?
Challenge answer
Placido Domingo
Winner
Brock Hammill of Corvallis, Montana.
This week’s challenge
This week’s challenge comes from Robert Flood, of Allen, Texas. Name a famous female singer of the past (five letters in the first name, seven letters in the last name). Remove the last letter of her first name and you can rearrange all the remaining letters to name the capital of a country (six letters) and a food product that its nation is famous for (five letters).
If you know the answer to the challenge, submit it below by Thursday, December 18 at 3 p.m. ET. Listeners whose answers are selected win a chance to play the on-air puzzle.
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