Lifestyle
A Kiss and a Proposal — All on Their First Date
Dr. John Henry Cook III hadn’t meant to appear bare-chested on Sylvia Rosemarie Auton’s iPhone when he called her for a chat last July. It was 7:45 a.m., and Cook, who was home alone with his dog in Leesburg, Va., was having trouble facing the day.
“I was lying in the bed my wife had died in,” he said. “I was feeling busted by sorrow, and I just wanted to talk to Sylvia.” An accidental push of the FaceTime button sent more than his voice through the ether.
Auton, who was visiting her daughter at the time in Phoenix, Md., was taken aback.
“He said, ‘Good morning, Love,’” she recalled. “I was stunned.” She was equally stunned a day later when, hours after their first kiss, he proposed.
Auton, 85, and Cook, 90, first met in May 2011, when Auton and her late husband, Forrest Hanvey, became patients at Cook’s concierge medical practice in Leesburg. Hanvey, who died in 2024, had known Cook since the 1950s, when both were midshipmen at the U.S. Naval Academy. A friendly relationship between the former classmates soon extended to their wives, Auton and Agnes diZerega Cook, whom friends knew as Di.
Both couples would routinely see each other at U.S.N.A. alumni events, and after Cook retired from medicine in 2017, they met up occasionally for group lunches with Navy friends.
“I got to know Di, who was a wonderful watercolor artist and wonderful person,” Auton said. When Di died in April 2025 of cardiac arrest, the friendship between the two surviving spouses deepened.
Auton is an author and educator. Before she moved to Fairfax, Va., in 1969 with her first husband, a nuclear physicist named David Auton, she lived in Chicago, where she grew up. Her bachelor’s degree in mathematics and master’s in mathematics education are from the University of Chicago. Her doctorate in mathematics education and statistics is from the University of Maryland.
Auton and David, who died of a cerebral hemorrhage in 2003, raised a daughter, Alyson Russo, now an anesthesiologist at the Johns Hopkins Hospital and the mother of Auton’s two grandsons, ages 6 and 2. The Autons also had a son, Timothy Lee, who died in 2014.
Auton taught in Chicago classrooms before she was promoted to her first position in educational leadership in the late 1970s. In 2005, she retired as director of staff development for Fairfax County Public Schools.
Auton now teaches personal finance classes at the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute, part of George Mason University. She also advises women on beginner stock market and investment strategies.
Her advice extends to navigating romance and relationships, too. “The Last Embrace: Caregiving for a Beloved Spouse,” a self-published 2025 book, was written after she spent a protracted period caring for Hanvey, who died after a fall at home in Fairfax Station. “The Wondrous Embrace: Finding Love in the Sunset Years,” also self-published in 2025, is meant to inspire hope among older people who may be souring on the chances of finding love.
Auton met Hanvey when she was well into her 60s and he was 70 in January 2005. They married the same year, in September. “One thing I do not want is for anyone to feel discouraged,” when it comes to love or otherwise, she said.
Before Cook earned his medical degree from Yale, he was a Polaris submarine commander in the U.S. Navy. During the Cold War, he served in nuclear submarines. He married Di in 1957, the day after he graduated from the Naval Academy.
Military service had been a Cook family legacy. His father was a Marine first lieutenant; he was born at Marine Corps Base Quantico in Virginia. With Di, he had a daughter, Elizabeth, and two sons, John and Harrison. His five grandchildren range in age from 24 to 30.
When Hanvey was declining in 2024, Auton wasn’t always certain she understood his needs. In those moments, she would ask Hanvey if he wanted to talk with someone else. “Invariably, it would be, ‘I want to talk with Jack,’” she said. Cook picked up the phone every time.
On May 17, 2025, Cook held a memorial for Di at St. James’ Episcopal Church in Leesburg, where they had married almost 70 years earlier. Soon after she died, Auton sent the family a condolence card and tucked a printout of the 1934 poem “Immortality,” by Clare Harner, inside. “I thought it might comfort Jack,” she said.
At the memorial, he told her how much he liked it. But Auton knew his grief was of a depth poetry could do little to assuage. “I saw the pain he was in,” she said.
Less than two weeks later, she was surprised when he texted her a handwritten poem. “He had taken the original poem I sent him and created a poem as if Di were reading it to him,” she said. “I was so taken with that I sent a poem back to him as though Forrest were writing to me.” Both poems touched on how they shouldn’t feel alone, how their spouses’ spirits wouldn’t leave them.
Auton was planning a June 2025 celebration of life for Hanvey at the time. “Jack had done such a wonderful job with Di’s, I asked him if he would come over and look at my ideas,” she said. Over lunch, the effects of his loss were as apparent as they had been at the memorial for Di.
“He was still zombielike with grief,” she said. Compassion and a sense of hopefulness about helping him through his pain led to a shift toward tender new feelings.
On June 29, as Cook was leaving the celebration of life for Hanvey, he bent down to hug her and whispered “I love you” in her ear. “What was astonishing is that, without a moment of hesitation, I responded ‘I love you, too,’” she said.
The next morning, he sent her a text message: “Bravo Zulu,” a Navy term for “well done.” She asked herself if his declaration of love at the service meant little more than appreciation for the celebration honoring his friend.
They didn’t speak again until July 11, when Auton was preparing to get in the shower at her daughter’s house and Cook was shirtless and in bed. Auton checked that only her face was visible when she answered the early morning call. They hung up with a plan to meet for lunch the next day, at Auton’s house in Fairfax Station.
“At 1 o’clock, there he was, holding a mini orchid plant” as a gift, she said. “He stepped into the foyer, stepped into my arms and gave me a long, deep kiss.” Two hours later, on a deck overlooking a lake on the property, he proposed.
At the memorial for Hanvey, Cook’s feelings for Auton had taken him by surprise. “When you’ve been in a long-term, loving marriage, you always have your feelers out” for your spouse, he said. When the spouse dies, “those feelers that had been intertwined wither away.” For Cook, maintaining hope that they would one day regenerate and intertwine with someone else had been a challenge.
But “the moment I kissed her, it’s almost like I put the key in the lock,” he said. “My life started again.”
On May 9, Cook and Auton married at St. James’ Episcopal Church. Rev. Chad Martin officiated a traditional Christian ceremony for 90 guests.
Auton wore a dusty rose ankle-length dress from her closet — the same dress she had worn to marry Hanvey. “It brought back loving memories,” she said. Cook wore a dark gray suit with a multicolored tie and his trademark red socks. Both had entered the church from a side door, then sat in chairs arranged in front of the altar, standing only to say their vows.
“At our age, stability is an issue,” Auton said. “I wobble well, but I didn’t want to wobble up a long aisle.”
After a kiss to mark the start of their married life and a careful recess to the church parish for a buffet lunch, they reflected on the resilience of the heart.
“Even if the days ahead are few, both of us would like others to have hope for the future,” Auton said. Since he and Auton fell in love, Cook said, “life has been delightful.”
“Beauty and music surround us all,” he added. “If you listen for it, you’ll hear it. If you don’t, you’ll miss it.”
On This Day
When May 9, 2026
Where St. James’ Episcopal Church, Leesburg, Va.
Church Finest The reception in the church parish was catered by Tuscarora Mill, a local restaurant whose owner Cook has known for years. On the menu were prime rib and roast chicken. The lively spring décor, including bright florals, pink napkins and white tablecloths, had been set up by the church sexton and came as a surprise to Auton. “People came up to us to say they had never seen the church look so lovely,” she said.
A Past Worth Preserving Cook will move into Auton’s home in Fairfax Station. He recently sold the 16-acre Leesburg farm he and Di lived on for over 40 years, known as Historic Rock Spring, to the City of Leesburg, to be used as a park. “It was important to Di that the land be preserved,” he said.
Accidental Vintage Auton’s wedding dress was at least 21 years old, she estimated, and Cook’s suit was more than 30. “We were not in today’s fashions by any means,” she said, unapologetically.
Gratitude The day after the wedding, Auton and Cook sent thank-you emails and texts to each of their guests. “At 85 and 90, we wake up each day with a sense of profound thanks-giving: for you, for our health and for the joy of hoping to continue to be of value in this world,” they wrote. They signed their first correspondence as husband and wife with, “Many thanks from two wrinkly, creaky, wobbly but very grateful people.”
These ten women from a working-class neighborhood in Mumbai were completely new to film-making. They got smart phones and started filming their lives. Here they pose with filmmaker Shilpi Gulati, who taught them filmmaking basics. Gulati, wearing red, stands at the far right in the second row.
Mangesh Gudekar/School of Media and Cultural Studies, TISS.
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Mangesh Gudekar/School of Media and Cultural Studies, TISS.
It’s the first scene in a new documentary. A group of women are being taught how to use phone cameras so they can make a documentary about their lives as domestic workers, community health workers, toilet operators and home caregivers. The voice of their instructor is heard talking about the things they need to think about: composing a frame, lighting, holding the camera still.
One woman raises her hand and asks: “Where is the record button?”
The room erupts in laughter.
Inexperience didn’t keep them from fulfilling their dream. These 10 working class women from Mumbai are the co-directors of the new movie Mast Mahila Mandali –- that’s Hindi for Cool Ladies Club –- which had its premiere this spring in Mumbai’s iconic, 1930s art-deco style Regal theater for an audience of 1,200 that included families and neighbors of the novice directors as well as cinephiles and media professionals.
The title came from Shilpi Gulati, the filmmaker they worked with and who taught them filmmaking basics. She suggested it at a meeting of the ten women. They deliberated over it and thought it fit the spirit of the film, pushing back against the idea that they are helpless women from the slums.
“For me, a ‘cool lady’ is someone who is bindaas — relaxed, fearless and does whatever comes to her heart,” says Rehana Shaikh, 32, a home caregiver and one of the ten selected to take part in this project.
The idea was to show what their lives are like — and also to show how cool they are by giving them a chance to express their creativity and just goof around on camera and have fun.
The idea for the film took root in 2024 and came from Supriya Jan of CORO India, a nonprofit group that teaches leadership skills to marginalized women. Her initial idea was to focus on the group’s Right to Pee campaign, which advocates for safe, clean and free public toilets. And she wanted women from the impoverished M-east ward to make the film rather than hiring an outsider.
Jan, the executive producer of the film, reached out to Shilpi Gulati, a filmmaker who teaches at the School of Media and Cultural Studies at the Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai, to work on the project.
At first, Gulati was puzzled by the idea. The women did not know anything about filmmaking, so how could they co-direct a film? She sprang into action: “It was a wild experiment. I put together a lesson plan so the women could learn the basics of filmmaking, from lighting to composition. We met every Saturday from about 1:30 to 6:30 p.m.,” says Gulati. With only five smartphones available, the ten women worked in pairs.
“I would give them a production exercise for the week — like shooting the Mumbai monsoon or interviewing each other about who you were in the past and who you are today?”
As the women talked and filmed, the scope of the documentary expanded. Instead of making a five-minute film about sanitation, they wanted to document the unseen lives of ordinary women like themselves, sharing intimate moments, telling their stories. It became a 70-minute documentary that took six months to film and a year-and-a-half to edit.
The driving theme, says Gulati, is that even in their busy lives, these women could take time for themselves, build friendships and show that “having fun is not frivolous. That being mast [carefree] and claiming joy is cool. It is a radical act of resistance against oppressive structures.”
Darshana Mayekar, a toilet operator and a slum sanitation program leader, says the experience made her feel young again. “For 20 years, I have been busy raising a family and working. While making the film, I was able to live a little for myself. I am 50, but I feel 20,” she says.
Vaishali Mane, 35, a community worker who helps women access property rights, says being in front of the camera gave her the confidence to speak up — for herself and other women.
Then there’s the exhilarating story of Rehana Shaikh.During the months of filming, Shaikh was between jobs so instead earned money by doing tailoring – gluing tiny round mirrors to a dazzling yellow, silver and white colored sharara set of wide-legged pants, a tunic and stole.
When it was time to take a break, Sheetal Navle, a community health worker, filmed Shaikh going up a narrow set of stairs in her two-story home to her kitchenette, where she would prepare dinner for her husband and three children.
Rehana Shaikh has her star moment as she dances in her family’s kitchenette while preparing dinner.
NPR screengrab from Cool Ladies Club via Vimeo
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NPR screengrab from Cool Ladies Club via Vimeo
In the scene filmed, as she cooks, she plays a rambunctious Bollywood number on her phone and begins to dance.
“I had always dreamed of being a dancer on screen or on stage,” she says. “Growing up, I was not allowed to step out of the house even for dance classes.
“When the opportunity to learn filmmaking came, I said yes because I wanted to learn something new. My husband said no. He didn’t want me on screen.” She says he was uncomfortable about women speaking openly on camera.
“I convinced him by saying I will only be behind the camera,” she says, deciding to hold back on the details and negotiate with him over time.
Shaikh went back and forth on keeping the dance scene in the film, given her husband’s concerns. “The other women encouraged me, saying ‘don’t hide your passion.’ It became a way to inspire others to relieve their stress and dance.”
At the premiere, her husband and three children cheered and hooted.
She was thrilled. “They were telling others in the audience, ‘She is my wife, that’s my mother!”
Note: In addition to Shaikh, Navle, Mane and Mayekar, the Mumbai women who served as co-directors are Kavita Ghuge, Rohini Kadam, Kavita Khomne, Gauri Rane, Anjum Shaikh and Nazneen Siddiqui. They were paid $262 each for their work on the film as co-directors; potential income from distribution deals and ticket sales will be shared as they own joint copyright of the film with Shilpi Gulati, who was also a co-director, and CORO India. Since the premiere, there have been additional community screenings of Cool Ladies Club, and the documentary will be submitted to film festivals this summer.
Neha Bhatt is an award-winning journalist and author based in Delhi, India, reporting on public health, development and culture. Her work has appeared in The Guardian, The British Medical Journal, Stanford Social Innovation Review, The Globe and Mail, Devex and National Geographic. Connect with her on linkedin.com/in/nehabhattwrites
There’s nothing like taking a cool dip after a hot day, especially in L.A. summer weather. As peak swimming season kicks off, the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center pool in Lake View Terrace reopened Memorial Day on weekends after being closed for the season. It will be open daily for swim and play starting Saturday.
The popular San Fernando Valley aquatic center spans 40 acres that include a massive 1.5-acre pool lined with sand like a beach. There’s also a nine-acre lake used for fishing and nonmotorized boat activities.
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1. Jaylia Martinez, 5, left, is splashed with water by Elijah Santillana, 6. 2. The height chart for the water slide at the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center. 3. Visitors enjoy the pool at the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center. (Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)
“As one of the largest pools in the U.S., capacity [being] 3,500, we get so many people from all over the city, all over the county, people coming from out of state to this place,” Edwin Realegeno, aquatic facility manager of the center, said.
The Hansen Dam Aquatic Center pool was constructed in 1999 in a $15-million project to replace a previous pool in the area that was filled with silt.
Along the pool’s sandy shores, individuals can use the volleyball courts and teqball table. There are also different levels of shallow water for young swimmers and toddlers.
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Paty Santillana, a Van Nuys resident, has visited the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center for the last 15 years. “It’s perfect for little kids. I have a 5-year-old and also a 21-year-old, who we used to come here with,” Santillana said. She adds that her grandchildren are ecstatic every time she mentions a visit to the pool.
Idalia Fraga, a 12-year-old swimmer who has been to the pool twice since its reopening on Memorial Day weekend, said she enjoys the pool for its affordability.
“Prices are very cheap … it really helps those families who struggle,” Fraga said.
After some renovations to its large water slide that will be reopening Saturday, the pool is open to swimmers for an admission fee of $4 for adults and children 17 and under for $1. The center takes cash only.
The recreational lake is open year-round and is restocked with fish from the California Department of Fish and Wildlife.
Christopher Lopez relaxes by regularly fishing at the Hansen Dam Recreation Lake on the weekends.
(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)
Along the lake, people enjoy walking the surrounding grassy pathway and fishing. Christopher Lopez, a Pacoima resident, who also goes by the nickname Squid, goes to the lake for the latter.
Lopez started fishing nearly two months ago with his longtime friend from elementary school. “[It’s about] getting out of the house and having something to do on the weekends and being able to enjoy the day,” he said. “Spending our time out here I think is just a great addition.”
For Lopez, catching bass or trout and enjoying the occasional breeze is a perfect day to absorb the beauty of nature.
Lifeguards Israel Orozco, left, and Ian Zabel, right, watch the pool as visitors cool off at the Hansen Dam Aquatic Center.
(Kayla Bartkowski / Los Angeles Times)
The recreational center is hosting fundraising 1K and 5K runs on Sunday followed by a party with free access to the pool. Realegeno said the fundraiser is to help fund public pool centers across L.A. County and to promote swimming safety lessons.
Visit the recreation center’s website or Instagram page for more information as well as updates on pool or slide closures. Hours vary.
Robert Smigel attends Netflix’s “Happy Gilmore 2” New York Premiere at Jazz at Lincoln Center on July 21, 2025 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
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This week’s show was recorded in Chicago with host Peter Sagal, judge and scorekeeper Alzo Slade, Not My Job guest Robert Smigel and panelists Josh Gondelman, Shantira Jackson, and Shane Torres. Click the audio link above to hear the whole show.
Who’s Alzo This Time
America’s Team; Siri Killed Romance; Doritos, Cheetos and Chex, Oh My!
Panel Questions
The Rise of Barmacies.
Bluff The Listener
Our panelists tell three stories about someone getting some game-changing advice, only one of which is true
Not My Job: Legendary comedy writer the hand behind Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Robert Smigel answers our questions about service animals
Peter talks to legendary comedy writer and the man behind Triumph, The Insult Comic Dog, Robert Smigel. Robert plays our game called, “Insult dog, meet SERVICE dog?” Three questions about service animals.
Panel Questions
Goodbye Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner; John Travolta Frolics!
Limericks
Alzo Slade reads three news-related limericks: The Drink Of the Summer; Apex Squirrels; A Meal Made For and From a Caveman
Lightning Fill In The Blank
All the news we couldn’t fit anywhere else
Predictions
Our panelists predict, after smart phones dropped the birth rate, what can we do to get it up?
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