Lifestyle
Learning a Shared Love Language — One That Includes Signing
Jerald Jerard Creer and Kent Michael Williams chalk up the almost 15-year delay in becoming a couple to a struggle to communicate — one that had nothing to do with Mr. Creer’s Deafness.
Since June 2009, when the two met on a Carnival cruise ship, Mr. Williams had been texting Mr. Creer every few weeks asking for dates. Mr. Creer routinely turned him down. For years, Mr. Williams assumed it was because of his age. “Jerald told me when we met I was too young for him,” Mr. Williams said. (Mr. Creer is seven years older.)
The truth was more complicated.
The friendship that Mr. Williams, now 42, and Mr. Creer, 49, struck up while sailing from Miami to the Bahamas had obstacles from the start. Mr. Williams, an engineer at Cox Communications then living in Baltimore, was traveling alone. Mr. Creer, a social worker, teacher for deaf people and actor then living in Suitland, Md., was vacationing with his boyfriend. Both were part of a group of L.G.B.T.Q. people of color vacationing together.
Mr. Williams remembered seeing Mr. Creer outside the ship’s nightclub a day or two into the trip and feeling drawn to him. “He’s fine,” he recalled thinking.
But he didn’t know Mr. Creer was deaf, which resulted in a stilted conversation. Mr. Creer, who considers American Sign Language his first language, can read lips and make out sounds when wearing his hearing aids. But he struggles to decipher spoken words in dim lighting and loud environments.
“From time to time, I don’t know if my hearing counterparts are adjusting to being in conversation with me,” he said of the stiltedness. That was the case with Mr. Williams. Then, there was the matter of Mr. Williams’s social anxiety. “I’m shy and introverted,” he said. “I’m still trying to figure out why I would have gone up to Jerald in the first place.”
Only two things were clear to both by the time the vacation was in the rearview mirror: One, each found the other attractive. And two, “Kent was very, very shy,” Mr. Creer said.
Mr. Creer grew up in Richmond, Va., with five younger siblings. His parents, Pamela Smith and Jared Creer, discovered his deafness before his first birthday.
By middle school, he was attending events for the deaf community in Rochester, N.Y., where he moved to attend a private school. There, he found his first deaf role models: Rosalie Rockwell, who was a teacher at the school, and her husband, Dale. Both have since died.
“They told me about N.T.I.D.,” he said — the National Technical Institute for the Deaf, a college at Rochester Institute of Technology that trains deaf and hard of hearing students for tech careers, where Mr. Rockwell was a science professor.
At first, Mr. Creer was skeptical: “No one in my family ever went to or finished college.”
But at N.T.I.D., where he enrolled as a scholarship student in 1994, the world opened up. “I met deaf people of all races,” he said. His freshman year, he joined the Ebony Club, a campus group for deaf Black students, but quit because he felt he wasn’t intellectually on their level. Shirley J. Allen, a retired R.I.T. professor and the first Black deaf woman in the United States to earn a doctoral degree, pulled him aside and told him, “Don’t you ever give up.”
Mr. Creer earned two degrees from R.I.T., the first a bachelor’s in his double major, social work and performing arts. Years later, he finished a master’s degree in education. He now works as a drama and theater arts teacher at the Atlanta Area School for the Deaf in Clarkston, Ga.
Mr. Williams grew up in Baltimore with his parents, Darlene Winslow and Kent Williams Sr., two younger half sisters and a cousin he considers a third sister. At 17, he started college at Frostburg State University in Frostburg, Md., to study computer science. But at the time, he was struggling to come to terms with his sexuality. After a semester, he dropped out.
“I had attempted to kill myself,” said Mr. Williams, who was raised Christian. “Growing up in the church, I thought I was going to hell anyway.” (Mr. Creer said that he also attempted suicide during college for similar reasons and survived his depression with the help of his friends from theater, a creative outlet he had been pursuing since early childhood.) Instead of returning home to Baltimore, Mr. Williams moved to Dunnsville, Va., where his godmother lived. To support himself, he worked a series of retail jobs.
In 2003, after three years in Virginia, he returned to Baltimore and got an apartment with a friend and eventually a customer service job at Verizon. By 2009, he was ready to return to college, later earning a bachelor’s degree in information systems from the University of Maryland. In 2010, he moved to Atlanta.
The boyfriend Mr. Creer took the 2009 cruise with broke up with him shortly after they returned home to Maryland. Mr. Creer moved back to Rochester, where he started working as an ASL coach and teacher for deaf people. Heartbreak was nothing new to him, though for years he had tried to avoid it by dating older guys. Men his own age or younger “just wanted to play,” he said. “I didn’t like that.”
Mr. Williams made a promise to himself to keep in touch with Mr. Creer after the cruise, though the odds of an eventual romance, he knew, were against him. He didn’t know ASL, and it was hard to keep up with Mr. Creer’s relationship status. But he remained in the grips of an enormous crush. “I never stopped being attracted to him,” Mr. Williams said. “I made it very clear.”
He did so by texting Mr. Creer at least once a month, letting him know about travel plans and where and when he hoped they might be able to meet in person. Mr. Creer always answered, but usually with an excuse. “He would say, ‘No, I don’t think so, I can’t take the time off,’” Mr. Williams said. “I would say OK and continue to be cordial.” But occasionally they did meet up in cities like Washington, D.C.
Binge more Vows columns here and read all our wedding, relationship and divorce coverage here.
“I’d meet him for a local event or for dinner at some restaurant,” Mr. Williams said. Those visits sometimes turned romantic before they said good night. But Mr. Creer’s pattern of declining his invitations would soon pick up where it left off. “I figured, it is what it is,” Mr. Williams said. “You enjoy what you can get sometimes.”
In December 2023, Mr. Williams made plans to celebrate a friend’s birthday in Manhattan and asked Mr. Creer to meet him there, not realizing that New York is one of Mr. Creer’s favorite cities. In less than a day, Mr. Creer responded, “I’ll be there.”
“I was like, Oh my God, for real?” Mr. Williams said. “I was really happy.” Nervous, too.
At the DoubleTree by Hilton in Times Square, the two stayed up all night playing a conversational card game that Mr. Creer had brought, the couples edition of (The And) card game.
“It was so thought-provoking,” Mr. Creer said. “We answered questions like, What are you hesitating to tell me? What are you afraid of?” Both say they fell in love that night. “We understood each other in ways we hadn’t before,” Mr. Creer added.
That weekend, Mr. Williams finally understood Mr. Creer’s reluctance to accept his scores of invitations through the years. Mr. Creer’s reservations about dating younger men were real. “I was aiming for mature men who understood the struggle of life and who know what it takes to sustain a long-term relationship,” Mr. Creer said.
But there was something else, too. “Kent often goes on trips that I couldn’t afford,” he added. “I was a social worker and was embarrassed that I couldn’t go, either because of my schedule or because of money.”
At the end of the New York birthday celebration, Mr. Williams was ready to carve a path forward as a couple. “‘Are we dating exclusively?’” he asked Mr. Creer. “Jerald said, ‘I think we should. I’m going to make a point of investing in you.’”
Two weeks later, in January 2024, they met in Manhattan a second time. In March, they traveled to London for a friend’s wedding. By then, they were discussing living together in Atlanta. But not marriage. So it was a surprise when Mr. Creer proposed to Mr. Williams at the top of the London Eye Ferris wheel. “It was total disbelief,” Mr. Williams said. His yes brought tears to both.
“I’m deaf in a hearing world, and I’m signing all the time, but Kent doesn’t see me as different from anyone else,” Mr. Creer said. “I love his heart and his compassion and his generosity so much.”
Mr. Williams added, “I fell in love with how genuine he is, the heart that he has. He will do anything in his power to make someone else happy, even at the risk of making himself unhappy.”
In June, Mr. Creer moved into Mr. Williams’s home in Atlanta. On Feb. 28, 115 guests gathered at Kimball Hall in Roswell, Ga., for their wedding, which was officiated by Romell Parks-Weekly, a friend, an L.G.B.T.Q. activist and a pastor at the Sanctuary, a Christian church in St. Louis. Both men were escorted down the aisle by their parents.
The ceremony included two ASL interpreters and a rendition of John Legend’s “All of Me,” both sung and signed for guests. Mr. Creer and Mr. Williams exchanged rings and promised to love each other “today, tomorrow and forever.” Once they were officially married, they jumped a broom decorated with ribbons and rhinestones into the first moments of that forever.
On This Day
When Feb. 28, 2025
Where Kimball Hall, Roswell, Ga.
Bliss and Harmony In the weeks leading up to the wedding, Mr. Creer took to Instagram to express his feelings about Mr. Williams in a series he called “word of the day.” Each day, he taught his followers a new word in ASL, including “forever” and “commitment.” Mr. Williams, who avoids the camera because of his shyness, reluctantly agreed to be part of the “romance” post on Valentine’s Day.
… And Comfort (Food) At a reception after the ceremony, guests helped themselves to a buffet with Southern favorites, including barbecued chicken, beef brisket sliders and mac and cheese. For dessert, after the grooms cut a small wedding cake, red velvet and chocolate cupcakes were passed around.
Bon Voyage The day after the wedding, the couple set sail on their second cruise together to the Caribbean. This time, they shared a cabin.
Musicians, choir members and athletes perform during the flag handover portion of the night.
Piero Cruciatti/AFP via Getty Images
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Piero Cruciatti/AFP via Getty Images
VERONA, Italy — The Winter Olympics are officially over. We were among the thousands of people who helped bid them goodbye in a Roman amphitheater in Verona, Italy, on Sunday, with a ceremony that was mostly sentimental but punctuated by rousing bursts of lights, confetti and electropop music.
The closing ceremony echoed some of the pomp and circumstance of its opening counterpart 16 days earlier: the athletes’ Parade of Nations, the raising of flags, the respective lighting and extinguishing of the two Olympic cauldrons (in Milan and Cortina).
But after two-and-a-half weeks of fierce competition, storied traditions and emotional ups and downs, this celebration had a noticeably more relaxed feel — at least among athletes and spectators.
The night’s musical performances brought high-tech set design to a roughly 2,000-year-old amphitheater.
Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images Europe
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Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images Europe
For one, the Verona Arena — which was built around 30 AD for gladiator battles — holds a considerably smaller crowd than Milan’s San Siro stadium (some 15,000 vs. 75,000 people). It’s an open-air venue with stone seats, which made for a fair bit of shuffling around (and occasional phone calls) among spectators. Each seat held a tote bag with a slim seat cushion in it, to make the two-and-a-half hour event a little cozier.
The closing ceremony’s Parade of Nations was essentially just a parade of flag-bearers, but unlike the opening ceremony, it went without an announcer. This time, the snow queens in puffer-coat-gowns from the opening ceremony were replaced with volunteers wearing loose-fitting tunics, the ceremony equivalent of putting on sweatpants after a hard day’s work.
Even the athletes were dressed more for comfort this time around. Team USA, outfitted by Ralph Lauren for the 10th straight Games, traded their opening ceremony pleated trousers and wool coats for streetwear-inspired baggy pants and puffer jackets.
Hunter Wonders parades with other members of Team USA at the closing ceremony at the Verona Arena in Verona, Italy, on Sunday.
Stefano Rellandini/AFP via Getty Images
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Stefano Rellandini/AFP via Getty Images
The event was a little shorter than the opening, but there was still a ton to take in. There were the requisite speeches from International Olympic Committee President Kirsty Coventry and the head of the Italian organizing committee, with many, many thanks given to the regional hosts and the 80,000 volunteers who staffed the Games (some of whom were watching next to us in the stands).
There was also the customary passing of the metaphorical torch to the next Winter Olympics host: France, whose Alps will be the site of the 2030 Games. And there was a shoutout to the Paralympics, which kick off — at the same Verona venue — on March 6.
At times, people in the crowd stood up to clap for medalists — and got quickly shouted down by the journalists wielding telephoto lenses behind them.
Gloria Campaner plays the piano, surrounded by candelabras, at Sunday’s closing ceremony.
Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images Europe
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Dean Mouhtaropoulos/Getty Images Europe
And there were so many candelabras, a recurring motif in this “night at the opera”-themed event. At one point, there were performers dressed as candelabras, moving candelabra floor lamps, while attached to a large dangling candelabra chandelier.
Speaking as spectators in the media nosebleed seats, this ceremony was more fun to watch than the opening, which was still a total blast. But this one came with a tangible sense of relief and a lot more crowd participation: beams of light shone all around us, confetti floated down on top of us and Diplo (the legendary DJ) commanded us all to dance.
You read that right. The sober dousing of the Olympic flame was immediately followed by a seat-shaking DJ set from electronic music supergroup Major Lazer, which got much of the arena on their frozen feet.
Major Lazer got the crowd moving with a medley of their hits, joined by collaborators including Jamaican singer Nyla.
Stefano Rellandini/AFP via Getty Images
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Stefano Rellandini/AFP via Getty Images
The rave — and the ceremony — ended a few minutes later. But like all good parties, there was still fun to be had on the way out.
Afterward, as we navigated the crowds and street closures, we stopped to let an international stream of athletes cross the road.
Some of the uniform-clad Olympians hopped on buses that took them back to Milan; others had the same idea as us and ducked into McDonald’s. Inside we spotted Union Jack sweaters, Team Latvia coats and the Winter Olympic GOAT, Johannes Høsflot Klæbo, with his fellow Norwegian cross-country medalists, putting in several orders of chicken wings.
Colorful confetti — seen during Major Lazer’s set — beams of light and glitter cannons illuminated the night sky at various points.
Joosep Martinson/Getty Images
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Joosep Martinson/Getty Images
Jennifer Lopez
My Babies Are 18!!!😭
Published
Jennifer Lopez‘s twins Emme and Max are all grown up, and JLo couldn’t be prouder! The singer commemorated their 18th birthday with a moving, heartfelt post that was absolutely busting with love for her babies.
JLo welcomed Emme and Max on February 22, 2008 with her then-husband Marc Anthony … a day Jen remembers well.
She wrote on Instagram … “You were born in the middle of the night, in the midst of the biggest, most beautiful snowstorm NY had seen in years.”
She added … “I remember riding in the car and looking out the window, where everything was twinkling and covered in white that night, as I held you both in my belly for the last few moments before I gave birth to you. It was as if God was making sure you would enter a world full of pure magic!! In my heart, I knew that’s how your life would always be!!”
According to JLo, holding them felt like holding 2 angels “sent straight from heaven above.”
“I cannot believe you are now adults…18 years old,” Jen continued. “You are both so kind-hearted, generous, and loving. How lucky the world was on this day 18 years ago when God decided to send you here with all of your talents and spirit and heart to make this world a better place, because that is what you do for me and anyone who is lucky enough to know you both every day.”
“Love Don’t Cost a Thing” but JLo’s last 18 years of memories mean everything!
Abdul’s vehicle promotes his work as a carpet repair man in Mumbai, India.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
Homo Mobilis is not just a photography book about cool cars.
The phrase is Latin for “mobile human.” This project by Dutch photographer Martin Roemers depicts all kinds of vehicles: cars the likes of which you’ve probably never seen before, including one with a garden sprouting from its roof, along with animal-drawn transport and bicycles.
And Roemers is not just looking for visual details. He uses vehicles as a vehicle for philosophical questions: How do our methods of transportation represent our identities, reflect global inequalities and illustrate the changing nature of mobility as we drive forward in the 21st century.
Roemers spent nearly five years on this project, visiting eight countries in four continents and photographing around 200 cars and other vehicles. 160 of these found their way into the book. He identifies the owners by first name only.
In an interview over a zoom call from his home in the Netherlands, he shares his thoughts on the project with NPR — his ninth book of photography. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Tell us about the car you chose for the cover of the book.
In 2019, on a trip to Mumbai, India, my wife and I passed by a carpet shop as we made our way from our hotel to a café for breakfast. In front of this shop was an old black car. We often forget how cars aren’t just to get us from point A to point B. In many countries like India and China, they’re precious real-estate space. This particular car was riveting, because it was more than a car. It was a statement, like a billboard. It had “Afghan Carpets” emblazoned on it, advertising the store. It made me think about the many ingenious ways in which people used their vehicles.
I strongly believe that the spirit of the car reflects that of its owner or its driver. It says something about the culture they come from, their world view, identity and even about society itself.
Suresh, a climate activist, believes all cars should have rooftop gardens to counteract pollution. He lives in Bengaluru, India.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
Can you give us an example of what you mean?
In Bangalore [now called Bengaluru], I saw a car parked on the street. It had a little garden on its roof. It was filled with sprouting grass and wild plants. When we located the owner, we learnt that he was a lawyer, but he was also a climate activist, who believed that people should reduce their carbon footprint. So he wanted to convey that message through his car. He told me you can grow plants on any kind of vehicle and that he waters his “garden” everyday!
What inspired the idea?
This particular project explores the relationship between vehicles and their owners.
The idea for the book came to me in 2015, when I was working on a project called Metropolis — documenting life in the world’s largest cities. My aim was to capture the energy and life in bustling urban environments.
I saw cars everywhere, including some truly unusual vehicles I’d never seen before. They were an integral part of an urban environment, but I wondered, if I isolated them, plucked them off of the roads so that you could focus solely on the vehicle as an object, what stories would that tell?
That must have required extensive preparation.
There was a lot to organize. I needed permission from the car owners to be able to photograph their vehicles in a studio-like setting. We asked the owners to bring their cars to the spot we picked, and [we] rented [a] van to lug around the 12-meter-long steel poles over which we could hang the white backdrop. And we needed people to help set this all up.
Why was this style of photography important to you?
In its natural setting — on a road with traffic — the background can be chaotic. When you place the car against a white backdrop, there are no distractions. You can focus solely on the vehicle and the people who own it.
Which countries did the project cover?
I included Germany, because it’s the biggest car producer in Europe. The Netherlands, because that’s home for me. I chose Senegal, because like other West African countries, they import a lot of old cars from Europe — cars that wouldn’t pass inspection there anymore but are now on the streets. Senegal has a growing middle-class as well, and that is represented in the sheer diversity of cars you see on the roads.
Mor drives this minibus in Séguel Thioune, Senegal.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
I loved the shot of the newspaper vendor [and the bicycle he uses to sell papers] in Senegal. What’s his story?
He’s really amazing! He’s an artist and you can tell, because he’s really making a fashion statement. He also has to make a living — and so that’s where the newspaper cart hitched to a bicycle comes in. In Senegal, especially in urban areas like Dakar, newspapers are often sold by street vendors who may use small, mobile kiosks, stands, or simply carry them by hand to offer to drivers and pedestrians.
Mbaye, standing by his bicycle, is an artist and newspaper vendor in Ngaparou, Senegal.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
You also photographed in North America.
I spent a lot of time in the U.S., especially in Los Angeles. There are people from the unhoused [homeless] community for whom the car doubles up as a home. These are people from all walks of life. I met an artist who lives in a camper van, an immigrant from Mexico, a retired construction worker who was living in his car for three years.
Juan, an immigrant from Mexico, lives in a camper in Santa Monica, Calif.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
There are a couple of unusual images that you took in China of men on motorized cargo bikes — they look like tricycles that are hitched to carriers and piled high with stuff. Can you tell me about those vehicles and their owners?
Qinfang and grandson in a Fuju electric vehicle, Shanghai, China.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
Those are electrical vehicles by the way. China is much more advanced in terms of EVs and much further along in electrification than any other part of the world. And these were vehicles I’d never seen before. They’re both the same type of vehicle, but I was struck by how they were used for very different purposes. In one, we see a guy selling children’s toys on a street in a park. It looked lovely — so full of color and life. And in a stark contrast, in the second image, another man uses the same kind of vehicle, but this time, it’s piled high with all kinds of recycling junk.
It reminds me of how vehicles can often be ingenuously repurposed — like Sunny, a chicken vendor in the city of Nashik, Maharashtra [a western Indian state], who transformed his auto into a cage-holding mobile market stand. If someone wants a chicken, he will slaughter it afresh right there.
Sunny’s vehicle enables him to earn money as a chicken vendor. He lives in Bajaj Nashik, Maharashtra, India.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
In China, you’ve taken images of electric autos and their drivers.
Yes, I found them interesting. These taxi drivers cannot afford big cars. They use these inexpensive vehicles that were originally designed for people with disabilities and for wheelchair users, but today, anyone can hop on. It’s interesting how vehicles adapt to social and economic needs.
You mention how cars are often associated with new beginnings and spirituality in some parts of the world.
It struck me how cars are tied to sentiment and spirituality, especially in India.
I spent some time at a BMW dealership in Bengaluru. The car salesman told me that some clients hire a priest to do pujas [Hindu prayers that involve chanting] right in the showroom, when the client comes to pick up a new car. It’s not something I’ve seen anywhere else in the world. In China, when you pick up a new car, it can be decked out in flowers. To celebrate a new car is like a rite of passage.
The priest Nagabushna chants prayers to protect a new car from misfortune and accidents in Bengaluru, India.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
You have pictures of big families lining up in front of their cars in India.
Yes, I like to portray the human element in car portraits. I’ve photographed a family of four, and another with six members along with their cars. In one picture, there are 12 people. To me, I definitely felt that cars in this context represented a sense of community, of family bonding. Sometimes, it’s about friendship too. When I was taking a picture of a truck and its driver in Malegoan in the western Indian state of Maharashtra, I spotted some kids laughing and returning home from school on bicycles. They agreed to be photographed alongside the truck — I invited them to join because they add another layer of mobility to the portrait.
You have photographed the hand-pulled carts, many of which are banned in some Indian cities.
Dinu pulls a rickshaw in Kolkata, India
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
I noticed it the last time I was in Kolkata in 2008. There were many more of these hand-pulled rickshaws and now there are less. The city wanted to get rid of it, it was controversial, a relic from colonial times. It also represented India’s caste system — the people who pulled these carts to make a living were from a lower caste, but the people they ferried around were from a higher caste. It made me think about how these systems resist change. And that says something about society. That’s why I focused on these vehicles. To me, it represented a unique part of the city’s heritage and a livelihood for many, though they are gradually being phased out for modern alternatives like auto-rickshaws and e-rickshaws.
And there are plenty of modern cars, too.
I photographed students at a university in the Netherlands who had developed a hydrogen car. We may have invented the wheel, but I wanted my book to show how transport is constantly evolving — it’s rich, layered with culture and meaning — an entire spectrum.
The book concludes with images of scrapped vehicles — why was it important to depict the end of life of a car?
Shredded cars in the Netherlands.
Martin Roemers
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Martin Roemers
A car can be a big deal for some people. It can play a huge role in their lives, it can mean a lot to them personally and culturally, but at the end of the day, in spite of its significance, I wanted to show how it’s just a hunk of metal.
Kamala Thiagarajan is a freelance journalist based in Madurai, Southern India. She reports on global health, science and development and has been published in The New York Times, The British Medical Journal, the BBC, The Guardian and other outlets. You can find her on X @kamal_t
Your turn: Readers! Is there a vehicle in your life, present or past, with a meaningful connection to your place in the world, to your identity? Send a photo and your story to globalhealth@npr.org and we may use it in a follow-up post.
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