Welcome to “Asking Eric,” a new daily advice column by R. Eric Thomas, which replaces Amy Dickinson’s “Ask Amy.” You can read her last column here.
Washington
Advice | Asking Eric: Self-published author struggles with jealousy
A friend just told me she won’t try out a new author unless they have thousands of good reviews on Amazon or Goodreads. My last book got about 20 good reviews after weeks of hustling. How do I keep going? How can I redirect my thoughts when the jealousy/despair hits?
Author: I worry you’re tracking your achievements using someone else’s yardstick. You’ve published a book. At some point in the past, that was the goal. So, you have already achieved one metric of success. Of course, we all harbor dreams of acclaim, but those dreams are so rarely right-sized. Do you want to be a famous author or do you want to be an author who is reaching readers who appreciate you?
This is a career field where jealousy waits around every corner, but other people’s success doesn’t take anything away from us. You’re not in competition with other authors, you’re in competition with your own expectations. Ask yourself: If you got thousands of reviews, would that feel like enough? You are already enough so let’s reframe your goals to help you feel that more often.
Your friend is entitled to her own selection process but thousands of reviews is an unrealistic number. To get that, any author, even the Emily Henrys and John Grishams, needs the support of dozens, if not hundreds of people employed by the big publishing houses. Meanwhile, you worked your tail off and got those 20 reviews on your own. That’s huge!
If there’s an author whose career you want to emulate, reach out to them to find out the nuts and bolts of how they got to where they are, but make sure that comparison will help you. As writer Freddie DeBoer recently pointed out in an issue of his Substack newsletter titled “Publishing is Designed to Make Most Authors Feel Like Losers Even While the Industry Makes Money,” “writing is also an intensely personal endeavor, and so rejection by the various apparatchiks who decide who’s in and who’s out can feel especially cruel.” Have a good think about whose approval you want (hopefully your own) and what you’re trying to achieve. Remind yourself that the authors you see may have different goals than you and probably also feel that old jealousy.
Lastly, I can’t say enough about building relationships with independent booksellers and librarians. Get to know the ones in your area. Even if you’re exclusively publishing e-books, these pros can help you understand the decision-making that leads readers to books, and eventually to those online review sites.
Dear Eric: I am in my mid-60s. Sometimes when I meet people I haven’t seen for a long time, say from college, I hear “you haven’t changed a bit.” Back then I had shoulder length hair. Today, I’m bald and what hair I have left is cut very short. How do I respond to such nonsense while maintaining a good attitude toward them?
— Hair Yesterday, Gone Today
Hair: I understand your sentiment as a fellow member of the shaved head club (it’s cheaper! It’s cooler! But oh the sunburns!). Still, you should take the compliment in the spirit it’s given. Of course you’ve changed physically, but maybe your energy is the same. Or maybe they just think it’s flattering. If the mood suits say, “Oh, I’ve changed — I got even better.”
Dear Eric: My partner (husband) and I have been together for 18 years. My sister-in-law created a “family tree” and gave copies to all family members as a gift. On closer inspection, my “husband” was left off the family tree indicating that I am single. My sister-in-law and her family do not believe in gay marriage. What should I do about this slight?
Marriage: It’s a good thing your relationship’s existence isn’t dependent upon what your sister-in-law doesn’t believe in. Long-term relationships aren’t Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny, they’re mostly taking out the garbage and texting each other things to pick up from the grocery store. (They’re also emotional support, caretaking, and commitment, and all that good stuff.) I’m sure you’ve already had this banging-your-head-against-the-wall conversation with your in-law, but you should voice your displeasure about the tree as a way of setting an expectation about the respect you want. Once you’ve said your piece, throw the “gift” in the trash and order your own correct tree and give it to your family.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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Federal authorities are planning a “summer surge” aimed at reducing crimes committed by young people in D.C. sources tell News4.
U.S. Attorney for D.C. Jeanine Pirro is expected to announce Friday that the D.C. Safe and Beautiful Task Force will do additional enforcement and get more resources, law enforcement sources said.
The move comes about two weeks after the D.C. Council chose not to vote on extending Mayor Muriel Bowser’s emergency youth curfew zones over the summer.
President Donald Trump issued an executive order in March 2025 that established the task force. He declared a crime emergency and temporarily federalized the locally run Metropolitan Police Department in August 2025.
Trump threatened to seize control of MPD after teens attacked then-Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) employee Edward Coristine, who was known by the nickname Big Balls.
Pirro has repeatedly railed against youth who commit crimes and told News4 she would like to see children as young as 12 prosecuted as adults.
“The time for coddling young people – 14, 15, 16, 17 – is over. And it’s time that we lowered the age of criminal responsibility,” she said in August.
Stay with NBC Washington for more details on this developing story.
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HOUSTON, Texas (KTRK) — The owner of a popular Washington Avenue restaurant says he was arrested after a dispute with city health inspectors over whether his business had a valid permit to operate.
Surveillance video recorded May 6 inside Betelgeuse Betelgeuse shows owner Chris Cusack speaking with Houston Health Department officials before he was taken into custody.
“I was pretty dazed, and all I could do is comply until it all got figured out,” Cusack said.
Cusack was charged with failure to comply with local health and sanitary laws after authorities accused the restaurant of operating without a food dealer’s permit.
The Houston Health Department says food dealer permits are valid for one year and must be renewed annually.
Cusack disputes the allegation, saying he has paperwork he believes proves the business had renewed its permit in March.
“I pulled it off the wall and showed it to him,” Cusack said. “He said it wasn’t the right business. I said it has my business’ name and address on it.”
Cusack said inspectors questioned whether the permit was tied to the correct business identification number.
“(The inspector) saw the first ID and said, ‘Ah ha, that’s the one you’re working under, so therefore this isn’t valid,’” Cusack said.
ABC13 reached out to the Houston Health Department with questions about the arrest. The department referred questions to the Houston Police Department.
According to HPD, the health department ordered the business closed in October 2025 for operating without a permit, though officials did not specify which type of permit was involved.
Police said the business was instructed to remain closed until it complied with health regulations. On May 4, inspectors learned the restaurant was open, according to HPD. Inspectors returned two days later, when Cusack was arrested.
Cusack said he was never told to shut down the business and questioned why inspectors waited months before returning.
The restaurant, known for pizza and drinks, reopened following the arrest and was serving customers again on Wednesday.
Cusack also expressed concern about what he described as aggressive enforcement targeting Washington Avenue businesses.
The entertainment district has faced increased law enforcement scrutiny in recent years as city leaders attempted to curb reckless behavior and nightlife-related crime.
“Washington Avenue business owners are just being confused by these intense raids on businesses for what are typically really basic scenarios,” Cusack said.
Court records show Cusack is scheduled to appear in court on Thursday on the charge.
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Metro is not recommending the construction of a new Metrorail station at the Commanders’ future home at the RFK Stadium site, documents released Tuesday reveal.
The transit agency instead recommended the creation of a rapid bus line called the Gold Line that would connect to Metrorail and buses at Union Station.
Metro also recommended major improvements to the Stadium-Armory Metro station. Without these measures, they warned it could take more than two hours to clear crowds after events at the stadium.
Metro said it projects that building a new rail station would cost about $1 billion and not be complete by the time the stadium is set to open in 2030.
More than half of people heading to events at the new stadium are expected to take public transportation.
Metro studied potential locations for a new Metro station, including Oklahoma Avenue and Benning Road NE.
Neighbors have repeatedly said they’re worried about traffic and parking.
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