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Asking Eric: Step-grandmother neglected by grandkids

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Asking Eric: Step-grandmother neglected by grandkids


Dear Eric: My grandchildren are 23 and 18. I married their grandfather before they were born. I always felt like they were my grandchildren and not step-grandchildren. They have lived with their grandmother (my husband’s ex) because their mother was unable to care for them.

We lived three hours away, but we would take them for weekends as much as we could. We worked full time and their grandmother held much resentment that she and her husband had to give up their retirement years to raise children. We sent money, attended as many events as possible, or were made aware of, paid for extras like trips, car, tuition, etc., but it was never enough.

Through the years, I never received a card, gift, phone call or text on any holiday, or my birthday. My husband got calls and maybe a card. He passed away a few months ago. I made a point to drive to see them over the Christmas holidays, take them to lunch and give them cash gifts (I’m close to 80 years old). I also send cards with cash on days like Valentine’s Day, Easter, etc. I would have to text them to see if they received these cards.

I made a few phone calls right after my husband died, only to have it go to voicemail and then just a text back saying they got my call. I love them dearly, they are the only grandchildren I will have, and they are basically very good kids that have survived a traumatic childhood.

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When I am with them, they are loving, full of enthusiasm and say they will keep in touch and maybe even come see me. Then, nothing. I know it is their age; young people are consumed with self and do not think about an old lady, maybe just wanting a call or a text.

Do I continue sending cards with cash? Do I initiate the phone call or text?

— Abandoned Grandmother

Dear Grandmother: My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband and that you’re not getting the support from your grandchildren that you desire.

It’s true what you write: there is a generational lacuna that sometimes keeps young people from seeing the value of their grandparents and other seniors until it’s too late. But you grandchildren are adults and can be responsible for their actions.

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With regard to the cards, turn off the ATM, at least temporarily. You’re showing love and care by sending money, but because it’s not reciprocated, it’s become commodified. It’s not your fault, but it’s easy to feel like you’re not getting a return on your investment.

Removing money from the equation will clear the way for you to have a conversation with your grandchildren individually. It doesn’t have to be long or overwrought. Say to them, “I love you and I miss you. I need you to call me once a month” (or whatever cadence feels right to you). “Put it on your calendar. This is the way that you can show me that you value me.”

Hold them to it. Sometimes the best way to show someone that you love them is to say, “This relationship isn’t working for me; here’s how we can make it work together.”

Dear Eric: I got into an argument with my husband and afterward I went into my bedroom to be away from him. My best friend, who was visiting, didn’t ask me how I was doing. Instead, she sat with him in the living room, watching TV, listening to him tell her how I’m no longer the same person and I’ve gone off my rocker etc.

I am extremely upset over the fact that she never came to see me and ask how I was. I feel like she really isn’t a true friend to me.

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Since the incident, I have been cordial and have been treating her as an acquaintance rather than a friend.

I am not sure if I should continue our friendship and sit down to try to repair our relationship. How should I proceed?

— Betrayed Bestie

Dear Bestie: Your husband shouldn’t be bad-mouthing you to your friend, especially within earshot. That creates a complicated dynamic for everyone.

But I suspect that the complicated dynamic was probably already in place before you went to your bedroom. It’s very uncomfortable being alone with a couple while they fight. Your friend may have felt trapped.

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Reach out to her and let her know about your feelings in order to clear the air. Ask her how she feels about the whole thing. If she felt that she was put into a position she didn’t want to be in, make amends.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)





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Denver, CO

Things To Do In And Around Denver This Weekend – 12/17-12/21 – 303 Magazine

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Things To Do In And Around Denver This Weekend – 12/17-12/21 – 303 Magazine


When: Dec 7, 11 a.m.-3 p.m.
Where: Fight Club – 1959 16th St Mall Denver
Cost: Price varies
The Lowdown: 

Guests have the option of $39 bottomless flatbreads, which includes the price of their oche reservation for Social Darts®. The bottomless flatbread menu features Smoked Salmon Flatbread, Four Cheese Flatbread, Breakfast Flatbread, or Garden Vegetable Flatbread. Guests can also order off the á la carte menu, which includes a fresh-cut fruit plate, breakfast sliders,, avocado toast, and Flight Club’s famous churros.





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Denver airport delays, crashes, broken windows, downed power lines: What to know about Colorado’s windy Wednesday

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Denver airport delays, crashes, broken windows, downed power lines: What to know about Colorado’s windy Wednesday


Hurricane-force winds in Colorado on Wednesday had a major impact across the Denver metro area, Front Range, and foothills. It’s a First Alert Weather Day because of the dangerous conditions.

Gusts of over 100 mph — equivalent to a category 2 hurricane — were reported in some parts of the Front Range, and over 100,000 people were without power as of 7 p.m. On Berthoud Pass, between Empire and Winter Park, wind gusts reached at least 102 mph. They reached 97 mph at Rocky Flats National Wildlife Refuge in Boulder County, 96 mph in Marshall, and 93 mph in West Arvada. 

Several highways were closed, Denver International Airport saw dozens of delays, power lines and other property damage were reported, schools were closed, Denver’s holiday events were canceled, and thousands of homes and businesses were without power after Xcel’s Public Safety Power Shutoff and unplanned outages.

Power shutoff

Xcel Energy was implementing what it calls a Public Safety Shutoff, for only the second time ever in Colorado. An estimated 50,000 people across the Front Range were impacted, mostly in Boulder, Clear Creek, Jefferson, Larimer, and Weld counties.

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Restoration for some areas was expected to start around 6 p.m. Wednesday, but many customers told CBS News Colorado that Xcel told them it could be up to three days before their power is restored.

Downed power lines are seen as a result of powerful winds near Golden, Colorado, on Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2025.

CBS


As a result, the Colorado Division of Emergency Management opened charging centers, shelters, and resource centers in the impacted areas.

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Xcel said it shut off the power in these areas because of the combination of wind speeds and dry conditions that increase the chance of wildfires.

Once conditions improve, Xcel Energy Colorado President Robert Kenney said crews will begin inspecting lines to determine when power can be restored.

“Once the wind event stops, that does not mean your power will be immediately restored,” he said. “We have several hundred crew members that are already being pre-positioned, that are on standby, so that when the wind event does end, they will be able to immediately begin inspecting the lines. They have to visually inspect the lines for damage before restoring the power.”

Delayed flights

The Federal Aviation Administration called for a ground delay at Denver International Airport from 5 through 8 p.m., although that’s subject to change, based on evolving weather conditions.

As of about 6:30 p.m., 66 flights were delayed, and one was canceled.

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Wind gusts were recorded at around 40 mph at the airport around 5 p.m.

School closures

Several school districts — including Jefferson County, Colorado’s second-largest — closed schools, and many also canceled after-school activities.

The University of Colorado cancelled classes, but the Buffs’ basketball game against Portland State is continuing, although fans are not allowed to attend.

Highway closures

Several highways in the foothills near Boulder, as well as in Northern Colorado up to the Wyoming state line, were closed. At least one crash also closed the westbound lanes of Interstate 70 on the Eastern Plains.

Those planned closures included:

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  • Highway 93 between Boulder and Arvada
  • Highway 36 between Boulder and Lyons
  • Highway 128 from Superior to Highway 93 
  • Highway 287 between Ted’s Place and the Wyoming border closed this afternoon, but has since reopened

Damage and other closures

Power lines were reported as having fallen across the Denver metro area, adding to the number of customers without power.

A number of local businesses were also forced to close — some out of caution, others due to a lack of power.

Car and structure windows were also broken by flying debris, like this car in Boulder, whose windows were shattered by small, flying rocks.

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A car window in Boulder, Colorado, was shattered by flying rocks on Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2025.

CBS


Despite losing power around 10 a.m., Ace Hardware in Golden remained open and kept busy, selling generators, flashlights, batteries, and tools and materials to prevent or fix damage.

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Some business owners raised concerns about what a days-long outage could mean for their companies, products, and customers.

“We could lose everything,” DeAnn Wieber, owner of the Windy Saddle Cafe in Golden, said. “We could lose all our food, the time that it took to prepare everything, and we just don’t know. And there’s are a lot of businesses going through the same thing.”

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Denver, CO

Canceled due to high winds: Wednesday’s drone show, holiday tree, Christkindlmarket

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Canceled due to high winds: Wednesday’s drone show, holiday tree, Christkindlmarket


Downtown’s Mile High Drone Show, the Denver Christkindlmarket and access to the Mile High Tree have been canceled for Wednesday, Dec. 17, due to high winds, said producers at Visit Denver.



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