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I’m a Single Woman Eager to Date. But My Terrible Financial Situation Will Send All My Suitors Running.

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I’m a Single Woman Eager to Date. But My Terrible Financial Situation Will Send All My Suitors Running.

Our advice columnists have heard it all over the years—so we’re diving into the Pay Dirt archives to share classic letters with our readers. Submit your own questions about money here. (It’s anonymous!) 

Dear Pay Dirt,

I am a mid-30s single woman with no kids, and because of my credit score—low 500s—I feel like I am invisible. I don’t qualify for a credit card, I can’t rent a car, I can’t get an apartment without my parents co-signing. I have “modest” student loans—$38,000—that because of the CARES Act have finally come out of collections, but nothing on my credit score has changed.

I don’t know where to begin to resolve this, and I feel like I’m failing at life. I’m even embarrassed to seriously date anyone because of my financial status. I work in the restaurant industry in an expensive city, and so even though I make decent money, when it comes down to it I’m still living paycheck to paycheck. How do I get out of this?

—I Don’t Exist

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Dear I Don’t Exist,

You are not alone. Millions of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck, and not because they’re irresponsible or have done anything wrong. There are probably many people you know who are struggling with similar issues, and you’re unaware of it because people are embarrassed to talk about financial struggles. We live in a country where people equate money with success and hard work, even though financial security is often determined by other factors, and there are plenty of people who work incredibly hard and still have trouble making ends meet.

There are also trade-offs we choose to make that mean forgoing options that might be financially more secure. If you work in the restaurant industry in an expensive city, I imagine you’re in a competitive job and that to some extent you enjoy it and the things that come with the expensive city, or you’d consider a move. It’s worth thinking about what these trade offs are, and how you value them—good and bad.

But also know that your situation is not unusual and try to be kinder to yourself. First, you should consider talking to a credit counselor. There are non-profits that specialize in helping people repair credit and get on track financially. I know it probably creates some anxiety for you to talk about these things, but having a plan will reduce your anxiety about it longer-term, and taking that first step will make you feel a lot better. When you have debt and no concrete plan for getting out of it, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and that the situation is insurmountable. Talking to a professional will help you envision and figure out a path out of it.

Lastly, you shouldn’t be embarrassed to date because you have debt. Lots of people have debt, and a date is not a lifelong commitment to combine assets. Just be upfront about your situation to anyone it seems like you might be developing feelings for—and not just as a matter of disclosure, but because it’s important to you and shapes how you’re making decisions in your life right now. There plenty of people out there who are potential partners who can sympathize with your situation, and anyone who can’t probably isn’t for you anyway.

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—E.S.

From: I’m Worried The Government Will Force Me To Pay For My Stepkids’ College. (February 10th, 2022).

Please keep questions short (

Dear Pay Dirt,

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My spending habits are hard to categorize. I’m sometimes frugal and sometimes a splurger, depending on the situation. The only thing is I hate splurging when I don’t want to. This has come up recently with my new boyfriend. He loves to spend a lot of money on takeout. I don’t. I hate cooking, but I like getting the most bang out of my buck when I eat out, unless there is something I really, really like on the menu. I’d prefer just to get a main course, and then if I want an appetizer or more food, it would be something I bought from the store. My boyfriend really likes taking care of me, and that sometimes means he orders extra food.

The problem is we’ve started trading off who pays, and I don’t want to pay a ton for all the extra food he wants. This last time we picked up a to-go order, I was driving home and he had to order. He ordered a bunch of food, including an entire meal of fried rice (which I think is an absolutely idiotically overpriced dish) as a leftover. I’m fine with having leftovers from a meal, but not an entire dish.

This type of frugality just seems absolutely ridiculous when I say it out loud. We’re not going out right now, but we knew each other before the pandemic and he knows I’ve had no trouble in the past spending a ton of money at the bar and I still don’t. I just worry that financially I am somehow a minefield and telling him this is just going to be so confusing. On top of it, this isn’t just a preference (it always has been), it’s a necessity because of my current financial situation, and frankly, he doesn’t make a ton of money, so I don’t know how this isn’t an issue for him either.

I just feel like an overbearing girlfriend by saying “Hey, I don’t want us to spend a ton of money eating out.” Am I overthinking this? Do I just need to be open about this? How do I say this without making him feel bad about how he likes to spend his money?

—Am I Being a Weirdo?

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Dear Am I Being a Weirdo,

Part of the reason this column exists is because people have a hard time talking about money, but everyone needs to be comfortable doing it. I understand your anxiety about discussing it because you don’t want to be perceived as cheap or arbitrary in your logic by someone you love.

But it sounds as if you’re living together, and when you’re cohabitating, I think money conversations are necessary. (And this would be true even if he was just your roommate and you were sharing food expenses.)

I would begin the conversation by saying that you realize your spending might sometimes seem random, but there are just certain types of expenses that make you anxious, and you’d like to find a way to handle the question of food expenses in a way that doesn’t make him feel deprived, and doesn’t make you feel like you’re wasting money on food you don’t need or want. There are a lot of different potential solutions. One is that you create a joint food budget and stick to it. Another is that you pick up individual tabs in restaurants. Yet another is that you plan, at the beginning of the week, to figure out how much you want to spend and where. Regardless, the point is to come to some agreement about what you both feel comfortable spending.

This also requires that you be empathetic to his position. Even if your boyfriend doesn’t make a lot of money, it could be that not having to think too much about buying food, specifically, is what makes him feel secure and comfortable. I had some food insecurity my freshman year of college and, perhaps as a result, I’m more likely to spend on extra food than anything else, now that I’m relatively stable. Of course, your boyfriend may just not be thinking about the issue very much, but people’s spending priorities are often shaped by their history of feeling financially secure or not. And he may be forgoing expenses in other areas because food is important to him.

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But you won’t know either way, unless you talk about it. You both need to be open about your anxieties around the issue so you understand and can sympathize with each other’s spending habits and can come to some compromise.

—E.S.

From: I’m Really Concerned About My Daughter’s Strange Financial Arrangement With Her Boyfriend. (January 27th, 2022).

More Advice From Slate

I have two very young children with severe developmental disabilities who will need lifelong care. My brother has seen them twice for a few hours each time and never calls or emails. Recently we redid our wills and had to decide who we wished to be guardians of our kids if something were to happen to both my husband and me. Because of the physical strength needed to care for the kids, we decided it wouldn’t be right to ask the grandparents to take that on when my husband and I each have a brother. My brother-in-law is a great guy and agreed to be first in line. But our attorney suggested we name a second guardian just in case.

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Psychological shift unfolds in soft Aussie housing market: ‘Vendors feel pressure’

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Psychological shift unfolds in soft Aussie housing market: ‘Vendors feel pressure’
Is it becoming a buyers market? (Source: Getty)

Property markets move in cycles, and with interest rates rising and other pressures like high fuel costs, some markets are clearly slowing down. Many first-home buyers who have only ever seen markets going up are conditioned to think that when purchasing, competition is always intense and decisions need to be made quickly.

In those times, buyers often feel they need to act fast, stretch their budget and secure a property at almost any cost. But things have definitely changed.

In a softer market, the dynamic shifts. Properties take longer to sell, competition thins, and it’s the vendors who begin to feel pressure.

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For buyers who understand how to navigate that change, the balance of power quickly moves in their favour. The opportunity is not simply to buy at a lower price. It is to negotiate from a position of strength.

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If that’s you right now, these are the key skills first-home buyers need to take advantage of in softer market conditions.

The most important shift in a soft market is psychological. In a rising market, buyers often feel like they are competing for limited opportunities. In a softer market, the opposite is true. There are more properties available, fewer active buyers and less urgency overall. This gives buyers options.

When buyers understand that they are not competing with multiple parties on every property, their decision-making improves. They are more willing to walk away, compare opportunities and avoid overpaying. Negotiation strength comes from not needing to transact immediately. When that pressure is removed, buyers are able to engage more strategically.

One of the most common mistakes first-home buyers make is continuing to apply strategies that only work in rising markets. Auction urgency is a clear example. In strong markets, auctions often attract multiple bidders and create competitive tension. In softer conditions, properties are more likely to pass in, shifting the process away from a public bidding environment into a private negotiation.

This is where leverage increases.

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Private negotiations allow buyers to introduce conditions that protect their position. These may include finance clauses, longer settlement periods or price adjustments based on due diligence. Opportunities that are rarely available in competitive markets become standard in softer ones.

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Finance Committee approves an average increase of University tuition by 3.6 percent

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Finance Committee approves an average increase of University tuition by 3.6 percent

The Board of Visitors Finance Committee met Thursday and approved a 3.6 percent average increase in tuition, a 4.8 percent average increase in meal plan costs and a 5 percent increase in the cost of double-room housing for the 2026-27 school year. The approval was unanimous amongst Board members, though some expressed resistance to the increases before voting in favor of them. 

The Committee heard from Jennifer Wagner Davis, executive vice president and chief operating officer, and Donna Price Henry, chancellor of the College at Wise, about reasons for the raise in tuition and rates. According to Davis and Henry, salary increases for professors and legislation passed by the General Assembly contribute to tuition and rates increases.  

The Finance Committee, chaired by Vice Rector Victoria Harker, is responsible for the University’s financial affairs and business operations, and the Committee manages the budget, tuition and student fees. 

Changes in tuition vary between schools, with the School of Law seeing at most a 5.1 percent increase, the School of Engineering & Applied Science seeing at most a 3.2 percent increase and the College of Arts and Sciences seeing at most a 3.1 percent increase in tuition for the 2026-27 school year. 

For the 2026-27 school year at the College at Wise, the Committee also unanimously approved a 2.5 percent average increase in tuition, a 3.8 percent increase in meal plans and a 2 percent increase in the cost of housing.

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Last year, the Committee approved a 3 percent average increase in tuition, a 5.5 percent increase in meal plans and a 5.5 percent increase in the cost of housing for the University.

Davis cited increased costs as the primary reason for the approved increase in tuition. She said that the budget that could be passed by the General Assembly for June 30, 2027 through June 30, 2028 could increase professor salaries — University professors receive raises via this process. Davis said that the Senate and House of Delegates have separate proposals dealing with the pay increases that are currently unresolved, with House Bill 30 raising salaries by 2 percent and Senate Bill 30 raising salaries by 3 percent. 

Davis said every percent increase in faculty salaries costs the University $15 million annually, and the Commonwealth will increase funding to the University by $1-2 million to help pay for that increase. According to Davis, the most common way to stabilize the budgetary imbalance caused by raised salaries is through tuition raises. 

Beyond the increase in salary, Davis cited the minimum wage increase, inflation and Virginia Military Survivors & Dependents Education Program as increased costs to the University. VMSDEP is a program that gives education benefits to spouses and children of disabled veterans or military service members killed, missing in action or taken prisoner. Davis said that the program is “partially unfunded” and could cost the University somewhere between $3.6 to $6 million, depending on how many students qualify for the program.

Davis spoke on other contributing factors to the increase in tuition, specifically collective bargaining — which allows workers to bargain for better wages and working conditions.

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“If we look at other institutions or other states that have collective bargaining, [collective bargaining] does put an upward pressure on tuition,” Davis said.

Prior to Thursday’s meeting, the Committee heard the proposal for tuition increases from Davis and Henry April 6 in a Finance Committee tuition workshop with public comment. During the tuition workshop, tuition increases ranged from 3 to 4.5 percent for the University and 2 to 3 percent for the College at Wise. Both increases approved Thursday are within the ranges originally proposed.

Meal plan costs, on average, will be increasing by 4.8 percent in the upcoming academic year. Davis said that the University has been expanding dining options with the opening of the Gaston House and new locations for the Ivy Corridor student housing that is still in progress. She also said that the University has been taking steps to increase the availability of allergen-friendly food options. 

Davis shared that the 5 percent cost increase in housing is due to the expansion of student housing in the Ivy Corridor. Davis also said that there will be 3,000 new units added to the Charlottesville housing market by 2027, of which 780 beds will be for University housing. Davis said that she hopes the Ivy Corridor housing would “free up” the city housing supply by having more students live on Grounds.

Board member Amanda Pillion said she was “concerned” about how tuition increases would harm rural families — she said the constant increases in cost could make a University education out of reach for middle-income Virginians. 

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“This is the second governor I’ve served under. Both times I’ve heard affordability, affordability, affordability,” Pillion said. “We need to really be conscious of the fact that … there is a large group of people that [are middle-income] that these increases [in tuition and fees] are really tough for.”

The Committee also approved a renovation for The Park — an 18-acre recreational hub in North Grounds — which will cost $10 million. As part of the renovation, The Park will include a maintenance facility, storm water systems and a maintenance access route. Davis said the renovation will address safety and security issues for the 200 people that use The Park daily. According to Davis, the University will use $2 million of institutional funds and issue $8 million of debt to fund the renovation. 

The Finance Committee will reconvene during the regularly scheduled June Board meetings.

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A Protracted US–Iran War Could Strain Climate Finance From Wealthy Countries to Developing Nations – Inside Climate News

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A Protracted US–Iran War Could Strain Climate Finance From Wealthy Countries to Developing Nations – Inside Climate News

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The ongoing war in Iran is casting a long shadow over the climate finance commitments countries agreed to in 2024, experts warned, as surging oil prices and rising defense budgets put further pressure on the limited pot of money developing nations are counting on to stave off worsening impacts from a warming planet.

The World Bank and the International Monetary Fund’s annual spring meetings are underway in the capital this week, with a focus on a coordinated global response to a world economy under pressure from slower growth and rising debt, exacerbating global inequities. 

The U.S. war in Iran adds new supply-chain challenges. In a press briefing Tuesday, the IMF slashed its growth forecast to 3.1 percent for the year, down from 3.3 percent in January, with global inflation rising to 4.4 percent. 

“Our severe scenario assumes that energy supply disruptions extend into next year, with greater macro instability. Global growth falls to 2 percent this year and next, while inflation exceeds 6 percent,” said Pierre‑Olivier Gourinchas, the IMF’s director of research. 

The blunt assessment has caused a scramble to determine what financial support the institution can offer to member states. And it has raised fresh questions about climate-finance obligations, already under strain from donor-country budget cuts and the United States jettisoning global climate commitments under the second Trump administration. One of President Donald Trump’s first actions back in office last year was ordering the U.S. to withdraw from the Paris climate agreement.

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Since the COVID-19 pandemic, wealthier countries that promised climate finance have experienced widening fiscal deficits and rising debt, the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development found in its latest assessment. As a result, aid from donor countries has already declined sharply—dropping almost 25 percent in 2025 compared to 2024. Even before the Iran conflict began, that was projected to drop further this year. 

COP29, the global climate conference held in late 2024 in Baku, Azerbaijan, set a commitment of $300 billion per year by 2035, with a broader goal of reaching $1.3 trillion annually from public and private sources. Called the New Collective Quantified Goal (NCQG), the arrangement replaced the previous $100 billion-a-year commitment that wealthy nations had met belatedly in 2022, two years after the deadline. 

Developing nations widely criticized the $300 billion figure as grossly inadequate, given the scale of the climate crisis. These countries are among the least responsible for the pollution driving that crisis and among the hardest hit by its effects. 

The Iran war has triggered a new set of worries as top economists and experts weigh potential impact and likely mitigation strategies. 

“Even before the Iran conflict, reaching the NCQG target would have been difficult, particularly with the U.S. withdrawing from the Paris Agreement. The war worsens the outlook,” said Gautam Jain, senior research scholar at the Center on Global Energy Policy at Columbia University.

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Plumes of smoke rise over the oil depot tanks hit by overnight attacks on March 8 in Tehran, Iran. Credit: Kaveh Kazemi/Getty Images
Plumes of smoke rise over the oil depot tanks hit by overnight attacks on March 8 in Tehran, Iran. Credit: Kaveh Kazemi/Getty Images

He said sustained disruption of the Strait of Hormuz would exacerbate the problem and the effects would weigh on the global economy. As a result, aid budgets would decline and the political pushback to external spending would increase. 

The conflict is “pushing energy security to the forefront of government agendas,” Jain said. That will likely strengthen incentives to deploy more renewables and other forms of domestic clean energy, but the war’s economic convulsions could cut both ways for the energy transition.

“In low-income countries, the transition could be significantly delayed, given limited fiscal capacity to absorb sustained energy price shocks,” Jain said.

One of the main priorities for the World Bank during the meetings in Washington is to develop a new Climate Change Action Plan to replace the one expiring in June. “In the current geopolitical context, progress on this front looks quite unlikely,” Jain said.

Jon Sward, environment project manager at the Bretton Woods Project, which monitors World Bank and IMF policies, said countries that used to fund climate finance are now choosing to spend that money on other priorities.

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The Gulf crisis exposed the fragility of a global economic system tethered to fossil fuel extraction and use, Sward noted. For countries dependent on fossil fuel imports, “this is yet another price shock, and quickly diversifying to renewables is certainly an option that many countries are looking at,” he said in an email.

He said that although multilateral institutions such as the World Bank and the IMF have begun to assess the conflict’s fallout, it is not yet clear what their response will be or how the World Bank’s climate finance would be affected.

“All of this points to the need for more serious discussions on pausing debt repayments for affected countries and the mobilisation of non-debt creating forms of finance, in order to address the multiple, overlapping shocks facing countries in the Global South, in particular,” he said in his email.

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Experts said that rising security and defense expenditures were also cutting into an already limited pot of money badly needed by developing countries struggling to cope with climate challenges.   

“The system was already too fragile given that the U.S. leads all the major multilateral development banks … and has disavowed these targets,” said Kevin Gallagher, director of the Global Development Policy Center at Boston University. On top of that, he said, U.S. threats to abandon NATO’s European countries incentivizes them to prioritize  defense budgets over climate finance.

He said developing countries are already under pressure to cough up climate funding on their own. The current conflict could make that nearly impossible.  

“This year was supposed to be putting together a roadmap to take the $300 billion annual target to the agreed upon $1.3 trillion. This is likely to be abandoned unless new donors such as [the] UAE, China and others step in to fill the gap left from the West,” Gallagher said in an email. 

The crisis in the Persian Gulf makes the loudest case for renewables, he said. “The energy security argument from this conflict is to diversify from fossil fuels. The Dutch took that cue after the Middle East oil shock of the 1970s to build the world’s best wind turbines, and China did after Middle East conflicts in this century. Fossil fuels are now a bad bet on security, economic and climate grounds. The writing is on the wall.”

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Gallagher said the World Bank should accelerate solar and wind technology programs across the world. “If the Fund and the Bank don’t rise to this occasion,” he said, “not only is the global economy and climate at stake, but so is the legitimacy of these institutions.” 

Gaia Larsen, a climate finance expert at the World Resources Institute, said it’s too early to know whether stronger interest in energy independence through renewables is translating into shifts in investment. But “if we’re trying to think about long-term peace and long-term access to energy, then renewables are really increasing in prominence,” she said.

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