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Asking Eric: Step-grandmother neglected by grandkids

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Asking Eric: Step-grandmother neglected by grandkids


Dear Eric: My grandchildren are 23 and 18. I married their grandfather before they were born. I always felt like they were my grandchildren and not step-grandchildren. They have lived with their grandmother (my husband’s ex) because their mother was unable to care for them.

We lived three hours away, but we would take them for weekends as much as we could. We worked full time and their grandmother held much resentment that she and her husband had to give up their retirement years to raise children. We sent money, attended as many events as possible, or were made aware of, paid for extras like trips, car, tuition, etc., but it was never enough.

Through the years, I never received a card, gift, phone call or text on any holiday, or my birthday. My husband got calls and maybe a card. He passed away a few months ago. I made a point to drive to see them over the Christmas holidays, take them to lunch and give them cash gifts (I’m close to 80 years old). I also send cards with cash on days like Valentine’s Day, Easter, etc. I would have to text them to see if they received these cards.

I made a few phone calls right after my husband died, only to have it go to voicemail and then just a text back saying they got my call. I love them dearly, they are the only grandchildren I will have, and they are basically very good kids that have survived a traumatic childhood.

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When I am with them, they are loving, full of enthusiasm and say they will keep in touch and maybe even come see me. Then, nothing. I know it is their age; young people are consumed with self and do not think about an old lady, maybe just wanting a call or a text.

Do I continue sending cards with cash? Do I initiate the phone call or text?

— Abandoned Grandmother

Dear Grandmother: My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband and that you’re not getting the support from your grandchildren that you desire.

It’s true what you write: there is a generational lacuna that sometimes keeps young people from seeing the value of their grandparents and other seniors until it’s too late. But you grandchildren are adults and can be responsible for their actions.

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With regard to the cards, turn off the ATM, at least temporarily. You’re showing love and care by sending money, but because it’s not reciprocated, it’s become commodified. It’s not your fault, but it’s easy to feel like you’re not getting a return on your investment.

Removing money from the equation will clear the way for you to have a conversation with your grandchildren individually. It doesn’t have to be long or overwrought. Say to them, “I love you and I miss you. I need you to call me once a month” (or whatever cadence feels right to you). “Put it on your calendar. This is the way that you can show me that you value me.”

Hold them to it. Sometimes the best way to show someone that you love them is to say, “This relationship isn’t working for me; here’s how we can make it work together.”

Dear Eric: I got into an argument with my husband and afterward I went into my bedroom to be away from him. My best friend, who was visiting, didn’t ask me how I was doing. Instead, she sat with him in the living room, watching TV, listening to him tell her how I’m no longer the same person and I’ve gone off my rocker etc.

I am extremely upset over the fact that she never came to see me and ask how I was. I feel like she really isn’t a true friend to me.

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Since the incident, I have been cordial and have been treating her as an acquaintance rather than a friend.

I am not sure if I should continue our friendship and sit down to try to repair our relationship. How should I proceed?

— Betrayed Bestie

Dear Bestie: Your husband shouldn’t be bad-mouthing you to your friend, especially within earshot. That creates a complicated dynamic for everyone.

But I suspect that the complicated dynamic was probably already in place before you went to your bedroom. It’s very uncomfortable being alone with a couple while they fight. Your friend may have felt trapped.

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Reach out to her and let her know about your feelings in order to clear the air. Ask her how she feels about the whole thing. If she felt that she was put into a position she didn’t want to be in, make amends.

(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)





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Denver, CO

Prolonged ‘Welly weather,’ our first taste of winter and Lisa’s official first-snow prediction for Denver

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Prolonged ‘Welly weather,’ our first taste of winter and Lisa’s official first-snow prediction for Denver


Lisa Hidalgo and Ryan Warner were ready to bust out the rain boots for their September weather and climate chat.

Denver7’s chief meteorologist and the Colorado Public Radio host delved into a rare, days-long rainy stretch, our first taste of winter and the pair’s official first-snow-date prediction for Denver.

‘Welly weather’

“Two things happened this week that rarely happen in Colorado,” Warner said. “The first is that when I went to bed it was raining. I woke up and it was raining. And two, the rain meant I could wear my ‘Wellies,’ my Wellington boots.”

“These are rare events,” the green-rubber-boot-clad Warner quipped during the conversation.

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Warner and Hidalgo held their conversation on the heels of an unusually rainy spell. In Colorado, rain storms often come and go quickly. This week’s rainfall, though, came during a slow-moving storm.

“It’s more the direction of it and where it camps out,” Hidalgo explained. “So as you get a low pressure system rolling through the state, and we get all this moisture that wraps around the back side of it, it jams up against the foothills. It’s called an upslope flow.”

In the winter, such a storm would’ve meant inches of snow in Denver. With September highs in the 50s, though, it came down as rain in town as it snowed in the high country.

First taste of winter

The National Weather Service in Boulder estimated Tuesday that “a widespread 5-10 inches” of snow fell at the highest elevations – above 10,500 to 11,000 feet – during the September 22-23 storm.

Hidalgo noted things would quickly warm up after what was the area’s first winter weather advisory of the season.

“But this is just a hint of what’s to come,” she said. “And, obviously, we’re going to see a lot more alerts as we get into fall and into winter.”

When will Denver see its first measurable snow?

On average, the first snowfall in Denver happens on Oct. 18. The window has already passed for our earliest first snow, which happened on Sept. 3. The latest first snow in Denver is Dec. 10 – Lisa’s birthday.

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With all of that in consideration, Hidalgo predicted this year’s first snow in Denver would fall on Oct. 24.

Warner’s guess? A potentially soggy evening of trick-or-treating after an Oct. 29 first snow.

More weather in-depth

Lisa and Ryan touched on studies on potential connections between both lightning and snowmelt on Colorado’s year-round fire season. They also discussed a study that suggests the eastern half of Colorado is drying out faster than the western half.

For more in-depth weather analysis, watch their full weather and climate chat in the video player below:





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Denver, CO

Denver Zoo animals don’t just do tricks, they help vets with their own healthcare

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Denver Zoo animals don’t just do tricks, they help vets with their own healthcare


From a tiny tree frog to an enormous elephant, every one of the nearly 3,000 animals at the Denver Zoo are treated for their health issues on site. Many of the animals at the zoo aren’t just doing tricks, they’re helping zookeepers by participating in their own healthcare.



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Denver, CO

Some Park Hill residents feel Denver is failing on minority outreach in golf course discussion

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Some Park Hill residents feel Denver is failing on minority outreach in golf course discussion


Saturday morning at Park Hill’s Hiawatha Davis Recreation Center, the City of Denver held a community open house to talk about its next big project: the city park and open space that was formerly the Park Hill Golf Course.

“It’s quite rare for a city to have this large of a park coming in. So it’s really important to us that that process is driven by the community,” said Sarah Showalter, director of planning and policy at the city’s Department of Community Planning and Development.

Residents got to see the plans for the park and the future the city has in store for the surrounding neighborhood.

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“The voters clearly said that 155 acres should be a park, but the community is still looking for access to food and to affordable housing,” said Jolon Clark, executive director of Denver Parks and Recreation.

It seemed to be a good turnout, which the city likes, but two groups that appeared to be underrepresented were Black and Latino people, which is a problem, since Park Hill is a historically Black neighborhood.

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A Denver resident looks at a presentation at a community open house in Denver, Colorado, on Saturday, Sept. 13, 2025 on the future of the Park Hill neighborhood.

CBS


Helen Bradshaw is a lifelong Park Hill resident. She and Vincent Owens, another long-time resident, came to the open house and said the problem is simple: the city isn’t meeting the neighbors of color where they are.

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“The people who are just the average go to work, they might be at work or they have to work today or, you know, they couldn’t get a babysitter or something like that,” Owens said. “A lot of the elders on my block, they’re not going to come to something like this. So, you need to canvass and actually go get the voice of opinion, or they don’t know about it.”

Bradshaw and Owens say they want a neighborhood park and space for the neighbors by the neighbors. They also want a grocery store and opportunities for people who were part of the neighborhood long before it became a gem for development.

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Helen Bradshaw, left, and Vincent Owens say the City of Denver is failing to reach out to enough Black residents of the Park Hill neighborhood as the city works to determine how to move forward for the site of the former Park Hill Golf Course.

CBS


The city says that’s what they want as well, and that’s why they want everyone in Park Hill to give their input until the project is done.

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“People can go to ParkHillPark.org and they can fully get involved and find out what the next engagement is, how to provide their input, you know, through an email, through a survey,” said Clark.

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