Someone call the Rhode Island Interscholastic League. Reach out to all the football-playing schools in Rhode Island.

I’ve figured out the perfect fix for the upcoming realignment and there won’t have to be 20 unnecessary meetings to rule on it.

There’s been plenty wrong with the last few realignments, but in the advent of the RPI era – something that’s not going away – it seems easier than ever to fix. Doing that requires more common sense and less formulas based on bad math (and tears from big schools that carry weight in these meetings) and ideas from someone who actually cares about high school football.

While the math is confusing, the RPI has changed how the regular season runs for the better while making absolutely no sense as far as the playoff goes.

With the Rueb Plan – patent pending – we’re going to fix that and have a realignment that forces teams to play exactly where they should.

First, we’re ditching the divisional playoffs and having actual State Championships. Since every state that uses RPI also uses a classified postseason, that’s what we’ll do. The four categories are obvious – Private, Large, Medium and Small. You’ll compete for titles against like competition. Now the onus is on you to win.

We’re not going to use a formula to figure out the divisions. We’re going to use this thing called common sense.

That means in Division I we’ll let Barrington and Burrillville drop, replaced by schools that are twice as big (if not more) than both – East Providence and Pawtucket. Don’t like it? Then fix the culture in your communities.

Division II will see a few new faces – Johnston is trending up and needs to be here; Classical is forever a D-II.5 team, so it’s up; and Cranston East is moving to D-II because a school that size should be embarrassed to be in D-III.

Who are the newcomers in D-III? Toll Gate is moving up because it’s too big to be in D-IV and hopefully it passes on this and does what the community wants – joining forces with Pilgrim to form a Warwick co-op.

Lincoln is moving down only because Sean Cavanagh deserves a regular season where he doesn’t have to try to win games just by out-coaching people. Middletown’s also moving down strictly on school size. We’ll move Davies up because it’s becoming an elite program and Smithfield is moving up because it should have done so two years ago.

Division IV will be reserved for small schools and programs that can’t get off the ground. The small schools will get to play like competition while still getting a chance to play in the postseason. Larger schools in the division will get a chance to win some games, but making the playoffs will prove to be difficult because of how the RPI works.

Why will this plan work? Because it gives teams a chance to win titles that actually matter. If you go undefeated and win a title below Division I, did you really win a championship? Or were you just placed in the wrong division in the right year?

Trust the plan. It will work – and I should know because I’ve never been wrong.

Speaking of that, let’s get on to the picks.

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 23

South Kingstown vs. Pawtucket, 6 p.m.

I’ve been in Pawtucket the last two Thursdays, decided to not go for the hat trick this week. I’ll handle tennis playoffs and soccer and will let Jake Rousseau handle this low-scoring affair.

THE PICK: Rebels

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 24

Hope at North Smithfield, 5 p.m.

Ready for the easiest advertising partnership of all time? Every time the Northmen put a 40-burger up on the scoreboard, Beef Barn gives away a burger to fans at the game. I swear I need one of these school districts to hire me as a marketing director.

THE PICK: Northmen

PROVIDENCE, RI — The Jonas Brothers are playing at Amica Mutual Pavilion next month as part of their JONAS20 Greetings From Your Hometown tour.

Shows in Rhode Island, New York and New Jersey were added Wednesday.

“New Jersey, New York, Rhode Island were coming at you with MORE DATES,” said a post on the Jonas Brothers Facebook page.

“I was born on the 13th. I turned 13 on Friday the 13th. My first album Taylor Swift went gold in 13 weeks. My first No 1 song had a 13-second intro,” she told MTV News in 2009.

“Every time I’ve won an award, I’ve been seated in either the 13th seat, the 13th row, the 13th section or row M, which is the 13th letter. Basically, whenever a 13 comes up in my life, it’s a good thing.”

On the podcast After Work Drinks, hosts Grace O’Neill and Isabelle Truman detailed a tip they had received from a woman who claimed a couple was trying to buy out a Rhode Island wedding venue for June 13.

“The venue called her and said someone is willing to buy you out of your date,” Truman said.

The other couple allegedly offered to pay for their entire wedding and honeymoon to secure the date.

“They think it might be Taylor Swift. June 13 is the only 13th that falls on a Saturday, and it’s near Taylor’s house in Rhode Island. Thirteen is Taylor’s lucky number.”

O’Neill and Truman did not name the venue, but internet sleuths have suggested it might be the Breakers, a Gilded Age “cottage” built by the Vanderbilt family in 1895.

“I’ve just looked it up. It’s exactly what I imagined their wedding venue would look like. Very grand, yet distinctly American. It’s huge,” O’Neill said about the unnamed location.

But Gary Ruff, a spokesman for the Preservation Society of Newport County, officially stated “Taylor Swift is not getting married at the Breakers” or any other property administrated by the association.

Popular celebrity gossip account Deuxmoi has also shared doubts about the “urban legend”, citing Swift’s penchant for privacy-protecting NDAs.

“I don’t know if it’s a red herring or if her team started it to see if there’s a leak. There’s no chance it could be true, in my opinion.”