In a viral video, a Minneapolis mom says kids here “are not doing okay.” This comes after she heard a conversation between two sixth graders about some of Minnesota’s more recent traumas. 

“God, it was so [exploitative] sad,” said Betsy Bissonette, a Minneapolis mom of two, while sharing vulnerability and tears. “There are these big girls, probably sixth graders, playing hot lava monster. I was overhearing their conversation. They were so cute.”

Bissonette describes overhearing the conversation between the two young girls at a park. One girl telling the other that she attends Annunciation, describing it as ‘the one with the school shooting.’

“She goes, ‘yeah, we don’t really like to talk about it. I’m sorry for being a downer. It was really scary.’ The other kid goes, ‘I understand scary. ICE took my dad away,’” said Bissonette in the video.

“We’ve just like failed the children,” she told WCCO. 

Bissonette adds that she’s received a variety of messages since. 

“Stories from moms from Annunciation and teachers from Saint Paul or Minneapolis saying this is the exact conversation I’m hearing every day on the playground.”

We spoke with a child psychiatrist to put this into perspective.

“The kids in Minneapolis are doing the very best they can under really complicated circumstances. My general answer is kids are not okay. They’re not,” said Jenny Britton, Chief Clinical Officer for Washburn Center for Children. 

Washburn is an agency that’s been boots-on-the-ground for kids for years. Britton says this past year has changed and challenged them. 

“There’s the settling in of what happened afterwards. That’s where kids are right now,” said Britton.

If you’re wondering what you should do, Britton says, “The honest truth is, you have to talk about it. You have to find a way to find out what’s going on. Authenticity as a parent is one of the best things you can do.”

She suggests keeping the three aspects of parenting in mind:

• Laugh and play with kids
• Owning when there’s a rupture, making sure you repair when you act out of place.
• Help kids know when to ask for help.

“One of the hardest questions for kids to answer is ‘how are you doing?’ We’ve been trying to tell adults like ‘I’m so glad you’re here,” said Britton.

“I wanted to hug those kids so badly. Instead I said, ‘hey can I be the scary lava monster,’” Bissonette added in her video.

“I love how she responded. Went in and played lava monster,” said Britton.

“What we do in Minnesota is we keep us safe and we move forward together,” said Bissonette. “I did one tiny drop in the bucket. But if we all do one tiny act when we can, when we see it, I think that’s the only way forward.”

Bissonette says she recognizes being shocked by that interaction is a privilege and many children have to face traumas regularly. Britton says it’s healthy that the girls on the playground were talking about these tough topics.