OLMSTED FALLS, Ohio — Unlike poet Robert Frost who believed “good fences make good neighbors,” the past 34 years next to mine more accurately reflects the Chinese proverb, “A good neighbor — a found treasure.”
My good fortune with those living next door arrived early. On both sides of my childhood home lived kids my age, and, if I wished to see them, I dauntlessly walked over, knocked on the side or back doors, and called out their names. (I do not recall pressing doorbells, interestingly.) For a couple of years, instead of shouting their first names, I sometimes chose to sing them (“Oh, Davey”). I always received a quick response from my friend or his parents, who welcomed me to come inside if their child was not quite ready to come to the door.
My guess is that many readers might feel more than a bit alarmed, but in the 1960s, this routine was commonplace among the families who lived in my Old Brooklyn neighborhood and likely throughout the city and its suburbs.
The neighborliness among the adults no doubt played a significant role in my willingness to secure friendly, person-to-person relationships with those whose homes were next to or near mine when I got older. My mom and dad regularly talked with or walked over to both sets of next-door neighbors and vice versa, decades before face-to-face communication was replaced by emails, texts, and Facetime.
On walks around our block, my father, who could speak Slovak and could carry on conversations in other Slavic tongues, was much liked by those neighbors whose English was a second language. Although I had no clue as to the contents of the remarks, yet I took pride in witnessing the illuminating smiles and enthusiasm my father’s linguistic efforts provoked among the nearby residents. On my walks today (when there are actual neighbors outdoors), thanks to my father, I never hesitate to greet and, when appropriate, initiate a chat.
Our longtime next-door neighbors, J. and S., remind me so much of those wonderful people I grew up around. (No, I have never sung their names after knocking on their door.) Each of us is eager anytime to help the other neighbor in a variety of ways — offering lifts to the airport, watering the plants during home absences, loaning tools, sharing family updates, and so much more. They are a comfort for my wife and me to the degree that the major reason we do not wish to move is because we could not find better neighbors. They are indeed a treasure.
In another sense, I would like to think that it is possible to extend the neighborly construct to society at large. The formula is the same. At its heart is a term which has generated a lot of commentary today — civility. Much has been spoken and written about the demise of civility in our fractured republic, the disrespect and intense animosity toward those holding opposing viewpoints. The rampant divisiveness has left many suspicious and hateful of neighbors who happen to possess different beliefs, whether they be political, social, or religious.
I understand that offering a means to help minimize uncivilized behaviors by suggesting that we treat all people as our neighbors seems simplistic, even childlike. But when I look at how children connect with other children, I am comforted by their ability to avoid conflict, to respect each other, and to get along naturally. I have learned much from the very young and concur with poet William Wordsworth’s line: “The Child is father of the Man” (from “My Heart Leaps Up”).
Being neighborly frees man’s natural propensity for open-mindedness, generosity, and kindness. Our contact with others awakens the realization that we are more alike than different. As the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “The good neighbor looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men human and, therefore, brothers.”
Mark Hodermarsky, a retired English teacher from St. Ignatius High School, has had eight books published. His ninth, “A Treasured Legacy: Baseball in Cleveland, 1865-1900,” published by Cleveland Landmarks Press, should be available later this year.
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