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‘This outfit isn’t flattering’ 5 Common style gripes and how to fix them

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‘This outfit isn’t flattering’ 5 Common style gripes and how to fix them

When you get dressed for the day and look at yourself in the mirror, is self-criticism the outfit that always seems to fit best?

Los Angeles-based stylist Sophie Strauss, a self-described “stylist for regular people,” wants to change that. She helps her clients find clothes that make them feel confident, comfortable and stylish. One step to getting there is to reframe how they talk about their clothes in relation to their bodies, she says.

People often assume that it’s their fault that their clothes don’t look good on them, says Strauss. But that’s not true. “You’re not failing the shirt. The shirt is failing you.”

So if you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk in the dressing room, take a moment to flip the narrative around, says Strauss. Here are positive and constructive ways to tackle common style complaints.

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“I have nothing to wear!”

A woman reviews and organizes all of the clothes from her closet into folded piles on her bed.

To start your fashion refresh, take inventory of the clothes you own and identify what makes you feel good.

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People often say this when they feel stuck or bored with their style, says Strauss. But instead of immediately buying a new outfit, look at this as an opportunity to reexamine your wardrobe.

Try on all the clothes in your closet to identify pieces that make you feel good — or simply forgot about, like that sparkly 80s number in the back of your closet. You might be surprised by just how much you have to work with.

Then get creative. Tuck, tie, cuff, roll, belt, layer, cinch. Try wearing a maxi skirt as a dress, then belting it around your waistline. Style your button-down shirts as a layering piece. Strauss says people forget all the ways you can alter clothing to play with its look and feel.

“This outfit isn’t flattering”

Photograph of a woman trying on clothes in a store dressing room. She is photographed from behind as she looks at her outfit in the mirror.

If you don’t think an outfit looks “flattering” on you, don’t blame your body, blame the clothing. That can help you find pieces that make you feel more comfortable.

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Comments like “this isn’t flattering” or “this outfit isn’t doing me any favors” are usually code that your clothing isn’t slimming or age-appropriate, says Strauss. And that puts the fault on your body, not the clothing.

So put that onus back on the outfit. Start by saying, “I don’t like this.” Then, unpack why that might be — and get specific. Is the neckline choking you? Is the fabric too itchy? You may realize your outfit isn’t “doing you any favors” because the garment is tight or the material is uncomfortable. And maybe that means swapping out that garment for something you do like.

“I could never pull off that look”

A woman in a white jumpsuit with a pink hair ribbon and pink sunglasses walks through a crosswalk in New York City.

If you’re worried about taking a fashion risk, take baby steps. Practice wearing garments you love (but are nervous about) to low-stakes locales, like the grocery store.

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A woman is walking down the street in an all-white getup. You think to yourself, dang, I wish I could pull off the monochrome look.

Anyone can take fashion risks. It just takes confidence, and that’s something you can build, says Strauss. Find low-stakes opportunities to wear a garment you love but feel nervous about. Rock that glittery new top at the grocery store or that groovy pink wig at your favorite cafe. The more you practice wearing it out, the less scary it’ll feel.

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“My outfit isn’t unique enough”

Personal style is about exercising agency, not about being the most uniquely dressed person at the grocery store.

Personal style is about being intentional, not about being the most interesting looking person on the street.

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“There seems to be this misconception that personal style is a race to be the most unique person on the street,” says Strauss.

But personal style is about making the right choices for yourself. If you feel most comfortable running errands in a T-shirt and jeans, you’re doing it right. If you want to wear a feather-trimmed hot pink blazer to feel like the special person you are on your birthday, that’s OK too.

“Help! I feel like this doesn’t match”

A woman takes a photo of a woolen poncho and a necklace on a mannequin.

There is no rule book on personal style. If it looks good to you, it doesn’t matter if it “matches.”

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Strauss says clients will often come to her looking for concrete guidelines on how to dress. Do these shoes match with this outfit? Am I supposed to wear a belt with these pants?

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If you feel any kind of pressure about the right and wrong ways to dress, that’s not style — that’s marketing, says Strauss. Personal style doesn’t have a rule book.

“Style is the expression of your preferences and personality through your clothes,” she says. That means no one else but you can decide if the shoes match your outfit or if your pants need a belt – so rock what feels good to you.

This episode of Life Kit was produced by Clare Marie Schneider. The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual producer is Beck Harlan.

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No turf wars, no sexism: Meet the queer Gen Z women giving billiards a rebrand in L.A.

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No turf wars, no sexism: Meet the queer Gen Z women giving billiards a rebrand in L.A.

In the summer of 2023, Alix Max, new to town with a cigarette in their mouth, was shooting pool on the patio of 4100 Bar in Silver Lake. They were pretty good, too — good enough to catch the eye of two regulars, Andrea Lorell and Julianne Fox, who recruited them to join their practice group. Their proposal was simple: “We have this group chat, and we play together and get better. The goal is to beat men at pool.”

It’s a plotline that could be lifted from the classic billiards film “The Hustler: an up-and-coming pool prodigy, James Dean-cool, comes to town and gets seduced by the green-felted world of dive bar pool — an aspiring pool shark meet-cute over an ashtray. A cherished motto Max introduced to the group: “Pool is blue-collar golf.”

The pool night was born after Andrea Lorell, pictured, and other players kept experiencing hostility around the sport at other bars.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

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The pool-playing group, which started as a group chat titled “Women in STEM,” was composed of pool amateurs, usually young women Julianne “drunkenly met” at 4100 Bar who had a burgeoning interest in pool. Soon, the group chat mutated into a tournament series and community titled “Please Be Nice.” If billiards has the reputation of being a pastime for gamblers, hustlers and hanger-oners, the female-centric biweekly pool tournament at 4100 Bar offers a friendly, supportive alternative. “I don’t know if the goal necessarily was to build community, but it was a natural byproduct,” says Fox. The tournament is both a party and competition where women practice pool, trade tips and compete in an encouraging environment. It was created as an antidote to the prickly, male-dominated world of dive bar pool — all the exhilaration without the bickering turf wars with bar regulars.

 Julianne Fox tallies the score for the "Please Be Nice to Me,"

Julianne Fox tallies the score.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

The founders, Lorell and Fox, began shooting pool at 4100 Bar in April 2023 and were bonded by their mutual hunger for the game. Growing up as an only child, Lorell spent hours playing on her aunt’s pool table. As an adult, she traveled across the country for work, always seeking out pool halls to “find a good hang.” She’s since joined a league and even played in a tournament in Las Vegas, where her team won the Sportsmanship Award. The team that knocked her out was disqualified in the next round. On the patio, she details the melodrama so amusingly that her love for the game is infectious — almost romantic.

The infamous Silverlake Gen-Z TikTok bar 4100 hosts a queer, female-forward pool tournament on Tuesday nights

“It’s a community cheering for each other and seeing each other get good,” says co-founder Andrea Lorell.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

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Until recently, Lorell lived in a cluttered studio apartment with a pool table beside her bed. She jokes being a pool shark is her dream job. “I give myself a little pep talk before important matches: ‘You’re the greatest pool player in the world,’” she says, laughing with a cigarette in hand. For her, the intention of “Please Be Nice” is to make pool accessible to young women: “It’s a community cheering for each other and seeing each other get good. It expedites people’s learning.”

Julianne Fox, a co-founder, says the tournament also operates as a workshop: “If you’ve never shot a pool ball before, come through. We’ll metaphorically or literally hold your hand.” It’s not about showing up the boys, even if that still happens. “I think it’s even more fun to learn the game to play with your girls,” says Fox. “I want to win, but I also want my opponent to have fun,” she adds, emphasizing the competition’s good-natured energy.

Pool tables in Los Angeles can be hostile places. “I’ll walk into a random bar in Koreatown, and there’s a pool table, and a bunch of older men are playing. You walk in, and they assume you’ll be bad at it,” says Max.

Adds Lorell, “They’re either giving you tips or checking you out, so it’s uncomfortable.”

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trhe infamous Silverlake Gen-Z TikTok bar 4100 hosts a queer, female-forward pool tournament on Tuesday nights

Players say there’s a good-natured energy at “Please Be Nice” tournaments.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

Molly Sievert, another “Please Be Nice” player, has also experienced sexism while playing pool. She explains that people assume her interest in pool stems from wanting to impress a father or boyfriend. She began shooting pool at 21 in bars across cities and is still baffled by men’s casual condescension toward female pool players. ”Men have never complimented me on my defensive shots because they think it’s an accident,” she says. When they inevitably lose to Sievert, they toss it up to a bad beat rather than their opponent’s skillset. She won her first tournament at “Please Be Nice” and has been a frequent competitor ever since. She’s a proud critic of 4100 Bar regulars — she says people keep walking into her cue stick, throwing off her shots, and not apologizing. “I always have that little part of me that is like, would you do that to a man?”

Sievert explains a personal theory that women take naturally to pool. Above all, it’s a game of brokering one’s circumstances, calling one’s shot, and making one’s own luck. It’s the type of hazards and presentiment that feel inherent to womanhood. Bravado, Molly argues, doesn’t serve the game. “Men will say, ‘I can make shots. I’m a shot maker.’ Many women are like, ‘I like the side pockets and weird angles. I don’t like the long table shots. I don’t like hitting it real. I like to think about the interaction of all the balls.”

April Clark, a comedian and pool player, chalks up antagonism at pool tables in L.A. to a scarcity issue. “When I first got sucked into playing pool, I was living in New York City; there were so many bars with pool tables.” For Clark, the game’s appeal is the spontaneous encounters with strangers that pool invites. The fewer the tables, the worse the ecosystem, the worse the vibe, Clark argues.

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 Jaden Levinson, left and Taylor Garcia watch the action in the Please Be Nice to Me pool tournament

Jaden Levinson, left, and Taylor Garcia watch the action.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

It is often remarked that pool halls look like morgues; the dimly lit blue-felted table inside 4100 Bar is no exception. The competitors are in a trancelike state, building a stratagem. The pool tournaments often run till the bar closes at 2 a.m. The players take breaks to socialize, buy drinks and watch each other play.

Part of the success of “Please Be Nice” is tied to the recent renaissance of 4100 Bar, which transformed from a neighborhood dive into a Silver Lake nightlife institution thanks to TikTok. Mouse, a bartender at 4100 Bar for eight years, explains the bar’s rise began in 2020 when it became a popular spot for outdoor drinking during COVID restrictions.

The infamous Silverlake Gen-Z TikTok bar 4100 hosts a queer, female-forward pool tournament

Participants of all levels are welcome — even those who’ve never shot a pool ball before.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

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Now, it’s not unusual to have a run-in with a celebrity at 4100 Bar on a weekend with its new reputation as a charmingly sleazy playground for the internet-famous. Due to TikTok, the bar gained a cult following in Europe and Japan, with tourists flocking to the bar to be photographed in front of the avocado-green wall, Mouse explains. “Foreigners come here just to take photos with the 4100 sign and won’t even order,” he says. “People come and spend 100 bucks on the photo booth and not even get a drink.” The wall, he notes, closely resembled the now-infamous shade of neon green from Charli XCX’s “Brat” album.

For Lorell, the dive bar exists as a third space. “If you spend four out of seven days seeing the same people, you’re not just bar friends on that point; you’re chosen family.”

Diana Brennan sizes up the playing field while participating in the "Please Be Nice to Me" pool tournament at bar 4100.

Diana Brennan sizes up the playing field.

(Robert Gauthier / Los Angeles Times)

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Rumors swirl that 4100 Bar might close in the coming year with the expansion of Erewhon. “Over my dead body,” Fox exclaims.

For the future of “Please Be Nice,” Lorell and Fox hope the pool-loving community develops even further. “We would love to solidify a beginner-centric event since that’s where this all started, learning pool with women and nonbinary people who were too scared to try it at a normal bar,” says Fox. “We hope to continue to train up the troops and run every single table in L.A.,” she adds with a smirk.

There’s a beloved pool adage from “The Hustler,” spoken by the protagonist, Fast Eddie Felson: “Even if you beat me, I’m still the best.” Fox thinks the quote doesn’t align with her attitude toward pool. “There’s something Andrea says all the time when someone beats her, she says: ‘I don’t lose to losers. So you better win the whole thing.’”

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Is “The Godfather: Part II,” the perfect sequel? : Consider This from NPR

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Is “The Godfather: Part II,” the perfect sequel? : Consider This from NPR

The “Kiss of Death” in “The Godfather: Part II”, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, based on the novel ‘The Godfather’ by Mario Puzo. Seen here from left, John Cazale (back to camera) as Fredo Corleone and Al Pacino as Don Michael Corleone.

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The “Kiss of Death” in “The Godfather: Part II”, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, based on the novel ‘The Godfather’ by Mario Puzo. Seen here from left, John Cazale (back to camera) as Fredo Corleone and Al Pacino as Don Michael Corleone.

Photo by CBS via Getty Images

Given the fact that it seems like Hollywood churns out nothing but sequels, you would think the industry would have perfected the genre by now.

Some sequels are pretty darn good, but many believe the perfect movie sequel came out 50 years ago this month.

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Of course, we’re talking about Francis Ford Coppola’s The Godfather: Part II. It’s not only considered the greatest sequel of all time, it’s also considered one of the greatest movies of all time.

So why does Godfather II work, and where so many other sequels fall short?

NPR producer Marc Rivers weighs in.

For sponsor-free episodes of Consider This, sign up for Consider This+ via Apple Podcasts or at plus.npr.org.

Email us at considerthis@npr.org.

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This episode was produced by Brianna Scott and Marc Rivers. It was edited by Courtney Dorning. Our executive producer is Sami Yenigun.

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JoJo Siwa Selling Tarzana Mansion For $4 Million

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JoJo Siwa Selling Tarzana Mansion For  Million

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