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A Nail Art Neophyte Sits Down With a Manicurist

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A Nail Art Neophyte Sits Down With a Manicurist

Times Insider explains who we are and what we do and delivers behind-the-scenes insights into how our journalism comes together.

When I set out to write an article about the New York-based, Instagram-famous nail artist Mei Kawajiri, I had never gotten a professional manicure before. Or, really, any manicure at all.

My mom — a neat freak if you’ve ever met one — was opposed to manicures on principle, for the fact that nail polish stains. So, growing up, I would go to a friend’s house and secretly have her paint my nails, only to use polish remover to scrub away the evidence.

Then in high school, I played softball, and, well, I don’t know if you’ve ever jammed your fingers into a dusty leather glove and snared a line drive, but let’s just say manicures and softball do not exactly mix.

Still, nails have always been an object of fascination for me, whether in the form of Sigourney Weaver’s purply-pink rattlesnake venom-spiked talons in the movie “Holes” or Cynthia Erivo’s forest-green ombré acrylics in “Wicked.”

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Last year, I stumbled upon the Instagram page of Ms. Kawajiri, who has created elaborate custom nail looks for stars such as Cardi B, Ariana Grande and Bad Bunny. There were nails with hand-drawn portraits of anime heroines. Six-inch acrylic sets embedded with jewels and lace. Tips affixed with 3-D miniatures of asparagus, French fries, hair bows — even dirty socks.

These weren’t just manicures. They were works of art.

So when Dan Saltzstein, the deputy editor on the Projects and Collaborations team at The Times, approached me in January to ask if I had any ideas for an upcoming Art of Craft series about specialists whose work rises to the level of art, I had the perfect candidate.

The articles in the series break down an often-complex creation process into easily digestible steps: the nitty-gritty of exactly how someone fashions ornate, $5,000 saddles with a six-year wait time, for instance, or how an avant-garde balloon artist patiently coaxes stubborn latex into ephemeral inflatable sculptures.

I had originally been set to attend a photo shoot in mid-February with Ms. Kawajiri and our photographer and videographer, Sasha Arutyunova, but my grandfather died (he was 95), and I had to miss the shoot to attend his memorial service.

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So I scheduled an interview with Ms. Kawajiri for the following week, and was faced with the challenge of writing an article detailing a three-hour technical process without having observed it. There were different types of nail tips? Of varying sharpness? This was a revelation to me.

But over the course of our 90-minute conversation, Ms. Kawajiri walked me through her tools — the brush with a tip as thin as a strand of hair that she uses to create elaborate hand-drawn designs on nails, the eye shadow she sometimes opts for in lieu of gel polish to fill in her finest 3-D shapes, the name of the 3-D gel she uses to sculpt miniature croissants and suitcases.

I asked about how things worked, or how the steps unfolded, when I couldn’t fill in the blanks. What is a base coat? What is a topcoat? What is the difference between a gel manicure and a regular one?

Ms. Kawajiri was very patient. And, in a way, my reporting required more sustained concentration than if I had watched her work.

It was all part of a conundrum for journalists that comes up often: Is it better to be knowledgeable about a given topic, enabling you to ask informed or nuanced questions, or to be a neophyte, coming to a story fresh, the way many readers do?

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I’m sure an artistic nails enthusiast, or someone who has had even one manicure, would have asked more about specific techniques. But my inexperience ultimately — I hope — made for a clearer and more accessible article for readers who also didn’t know the first thing about nail art.

I came away with an appreciation for the artistry that goes into creating mind-boggling levels of detail on a minuscule canvas. I listened as Ms. Kawajiri explained her fascination with nails as a form of self-expression. I loved that she found inspiration everywhere, including in her real life, drawing from objects as mundane as her baby’s bottle.

I was reminded that no question is too small to document the exacting process it takes to create something deceptively complex. I’m learning alongside the reader, so any questions I have are ones my audience will likely share.

That’s one of the great joys of journalism — I write about people and places I never would have imagined, and I’m often surprised by the level of effort that goes into seemingly simple creations, whether that’s a poem, the Oscars red carpet or a set of potato chip-inspired nails.

And don’t worry, mom — my own nails are still boring, pink and clean as ever.

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What to Expect From Bravo’s Nepo Baby Reality Show, ‘Next Gen NYC’

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What to Expect From Bravo’s Nepo Baby Reality Show, ‘Next Gen NYC’

Bravo is making a big bet on the Gen Z offspring of some of the most famous stars from its “Real Housewives” franchise. The network released a trailer this week for “Next Gen NYC,” a show that will follow the lives of four young reality scions and their influencer peers as they navigate work, life and love in Manhattan.

For the reality connoisseurs among us, try to imagine “Rich Kids of Beverly Hills” meets “NYC Prep.”

For everyone else, here’s a primer.

The cast features the offspring of four “Real Housewives”: Ariana Biermann and Riley Burruss, the daughters of the former “Real Housewives of Atlanta” stars Kim Zolciak-Biermann and Kandi Burruss; Brooks Marks, the son of the “Real Housewives of Salt Lake City” favorite Meredith Marks; and Gia Giudice, the daughter of the “Real Housewives of New Jersey” legend Teresa Giudice.

The rest of the cast is made up of a handful of influencers and so-called nepo babies, including Ava Dash, a daughter of the record executive Damon Dash and the fashion designer Rachel Roy; Emira D’Spain, a model and influencer who will be Bravo’s first full-time trans cast member; Georgia McCann, a creative strategist Bravo describes as “New York’s ultimate Gen Z It girl”; Charlie Zakkour, a crypto trader and club kid; Hudson McLeroy, Ms. Biermann’s on-again, off-again boyfriend and the heir to the fast-food chain Zaxby’s; and Shai Fruchter, an assistant at the Wall Group.

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“Next Gen NYC” looks relatively restrained compared with the high-stakes drama on some of the editions of “Real Housewives.” (Legal battles! Shocking divorces! Physical altercations!) But the show has teased Ms. Dash and Ms. Biermann feuding over fashion, and Ms. Biermann cursing out Mr. Marks as Ms. Giudice deadpans, “This is so stupid.”

There’s also the drama inherent to being a young New York transplant, such as Ms. Biermann declaring she’s “absolutely petrified” riding the subway, or Ms. Burruss accidentally tossing her phone into the Hudson River.

According to Bravo, there will be plenty — and that’s probably what they’re counting on to boost audience numbers. All of the Housewives whose children appear on the show are slated to make appearances. In the trailer, which was released this week, viewers get a glimpse into Mr. Marks’s “tumultuous work relationship” with his mother and at Ms. Zolciak-Biermann balking at a $14,000 night out. Seth Marks, the husband of Ms. Marks and father of Brooks, also factors heavily into the trailer, asking his son awkward questions about his sex life and saying he’s attached to his mother “like a little baby kangaroo.”

Honestly, this series feels like a deep cut. People who are not Bravo obsessives should approach with caution. But for those who can rattle off every Housewife by memory, the show premieres June 3 at 9 p.m. Eastern time on Bravo and will be available on Peacock the following day.

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'Shark Tank' Star Barbara Corcoran Says Trump Tariffs Will Hurt New Home Buyers

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'Shark Tank' Star Barbara Corcoran Says Trump Tariffs Will Hurt New Home Buyers

Barbara Corcoran
Trump Tariffs Bad For New Housing …
Construction Will Suffer!!!

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My Therapist Fired Me After I Confessed to a Sexual Dream About Her

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My Therapist Fired Me After I Confessed to a Sexual Dream About Her

I am a veteran with PTSD, depression, anxiety and marital discord. The Veterans Affairs Department has been paying for me to see a therapist. At my last session, I shared with my therapist that I’d had a sexual dream about her. I did not share any specifics about the dream, and I did not say or suggest that I have a crush on her. (I do not.)

My therapist blew up at me, saying that this is something you should not bring up to a therapist. The next day I felt so bad about the incident that I texted the therapist and apologized. I told her I was embarrassed and would never share something like that again. She did not reply.

Two days later, I received a phone call from her receptionist telling me that my therapist was terminating therapy with me.

For the record, the therapist never told me any topic was off limits. In fact, she told me that therapy was a safe place to share any issues I wanted to bring up. I remember asking her, “I can tell you anything?” and she said, “Yes, anything.”

I feel confused and abandoned. She was the only person I could share anything with and not feel judged. This is how a lot of vets feel if we share anything terrible we had done or failed to do while on active duty. I don’t think I will ever trust a therapist again.

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I feel lost, alone and hurt. Can you offer any guidance?

From the Therapist:

I’m so sorry that this happened to you, because you did absolutely nothing wrong. Instead, your therapist’s wrongdoing has left you in a deeply upsetting predicament. A therapist should create a truly safe space, and it’s devastating when trust in your therapist is broken. What you’ve experienced — especially after sharing something so delicately personal — is not only hurtful but also destabilizing.

In therapy, you have every right to bring up a dream — even if it’s about your therapist and even if it’s sexual — and to trust that the therapist will handle whatever you bring into those conversations with skill, compassion and professionalism. Before I suggest how to navigate this breach, I think it might help you to understand how this disclosure should have been handled.

When people go to therapy, two dynamics typically emerge — transference and countertransference. Transference occurs when patients direct feelings related to a person in their lives onto the therapist. If, for example, you have a problematic relationship with a family member who you feel is controlling, you might transfer those feelings of being controlled onto your therapist whenever she suggests an intervention for you to try.

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These feelings can range from anger to adoration, and romantic or erotic transference can occur when a therapist reminds a patient of a past romantic partner or love object, or when an earlier need is being fulfilled by the therapist: unconditional acceptance, a safe environment, emotional intimacy, or feeling seen or valued or protected. Dreams are often the subconscious mind’s way of processing complex emotions, and transference can be very useful if the therapist helps the patient identify this process as a way to gain insight into underlying feelings.

But something seems to have interfered with your therapist’s ability to do this. In training, therapists learn to recognize their own feelings of transference toward the patient — what’s known as countertransference. A therapist whose patient reminds her of her impossible-to-please mother may start to feel helpless and begin to resent this patient. Or a therapist may overidentify with a patient who struggles with a similar issue to one that the clinician dealt with in the past (divorce, an alcoholic parent), and become unable to disentangle the patient’s feelings and experiences from the therapist’s own.

As with transference, countertransference needs to be brought to light and processed. But while transference is discussed in the therapy session, therapists process their countertransference by receiving feedback from other clinicians (or their own therapists) to avoid muddying the work they’re doing to help their patients.

We have a saying in therapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Generally when people have intense reactions, there’s some history at play. It sounds as if your therapist had a strong emotional reaction to your dream but didn’t adequately explore what was underlying it. She made your dream the issue, instead of understanding her problematic feelings about your dream. In doing so, she violated the sanctity of the clinician-patient relationship by shaming and then abandoning you, causing you pain, preventing you from processing this disturbing experience and leaving you without closure or continuity of care.

Your therapist’s sudden withdrawal reinforced the very fear many veterans who are managing PTSD, depression, anxiety or trauma experience: that vulnerability leads to abandonment.

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But this experience, though deeply painful, doesn’t mean that you should give up on therapy altogether. You deserve a therapist who will walk alongside you and give you room to process whatever you’ve been through, without judgment or fear of abandonment. Your therapist’s actions have rocked the foundation of your trust, but I believe you can rebuild it with the right support from a different clinician.

You can start by sharing your experience with the appropriate mental health resource coordinator, who can discuss your options on how to handle the situation with your former therapist (for instance, by filing a complaint so that other patients won’t have to endure something similar) and provide you with referrals to a new therapist who has been thoroughly vetted.

Interview two or three therapists by requesting a consultation before you begin treatment, and tell each of them what happened to you and the effect it had on you — that you are grieving the loss of the relationship you had, feel betrayed by a person you trusted, are hesitant to open up to a therapist again and are seeking someone who can help you to move forward from that experience and heal the wounds that brought you to therapy in the first place. See how each therapist responds, and notice with whom you feel most comfortable.

Finally, I want you to know that you’re not alone. Although it may feel that way right now, there are people who understand the layers of what you went through and will be there to support you.

Want to Ask the Therapist? If you have a question, email askthetherapist@nytimes.com. By submitting a query, you agree to our reader submission terms. This column is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

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