Movie Reviews
Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Abigail’ on Peacock, a delightfully gory vampire horror-comedy
I can’t remember the last decent vampire movie I saw, so thank the deities for Abigail (now streaming on Peacock, in addition to VOD services like Amazon Prime Video), which is one hell of a bloodletter with a convoluted backstory. The film originated as a remake of Dracula’s Daughter, and was slotted as an entry in Universal’s Dark Universe horror franchise; but once that ill-fated idea went kerplotz, the directorial team of Tyler Gillett and Matt Bettinelli-Olpin (Ready or Not and the two most recent Scream films) took the helm and made the movie under their Radio Silence banner. My expectations were low, as the Screams felt like rehash and the drowsiness from lame-ass Dracula flick The Last Voyage of the Demeter lingered, but if anything will make an old cynic enthusiastic about vampires again, it’s Abigail.
ABIGAIL: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?
The Gist: We open in what seems like a completely different movie. No, seriously. It’s a kidnapping thriller in which a cadre of misfit criminals bust into a rich man’s mansion and steal his 12-year-old daughter for a $50 million ransom. It’s one of those Reservoir Dogs-type jobs where none of the crooks know each other’s names so there’ll be no ratting on anyone, and they get nicknames, and all that. Our lead is Joey (Melissa Barrera), who seems a little out of place with this crew of freaks, probably because she’s the true protag with big, soft, sympathetic eyes that she uses to look at the photo of her estranged son on her phone. She’s also not thrilled to learn, moments before they bust in, that their target is a little girl. But there’s money to be made and a job to do, and her part of it is to knock the kid out with an injection.
The others are pretty much a bunch of mixed nuts: Frank (Dan Stevens) leads the crew and wears glasses that tell us he’s slick and shifty like the gearbox on a Ferrari. Peter (Kevin Durand) is a man mighty of muscle but slow of mind. Rickles (Will Catlett) is the poker-faced sniper. Sammy (Kathryn Newton) is the sassy hacker. Dean (Angus Cloud) is the getaway driver who’s got naught but a couple of chiclets rattling around where his brains should be. They snatch Abigail (Alisha Weir) and convene with plan mastermind Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito) in a dilapidated mansion with a giant elevator cage as a centerpiece – I wonder if it’ll come in handy at all should anyone need it – and decor ranging from cluster-o’-antlers light fixtures to gross taxidermy and crumbling old frescoes. No, really, frescoes! I’m sure nothing bad has ever happened in this place. It’s a bit of a fixer-upper but after several thousand hours of work and exorcisms, it’ll be so cozy!
Being the nice person around here, relatively speaking, Joey comforts poor little Abigail, who’s still wearing her tutu from ballet rehearsal. Being the shitbird around here, and the specific breed of shitbird played by Dan Stevens, Frank threatens poor little Abigail with his gun – and finds out she’s the daughter of a notorious gazillionaire who’s rumored to have a henchman capable of “tearing people apart like an animal.” That might, key word here being “might,” explain how one of them ends up with their head being detached from their body in a rather disgusting and hilarious fashion. And just when you thought this crew of crooks had exchanged enough prickly gettin’-to-know-ya banter, well, when people are fighting for their lives, they really get to know each other, especially their insides, and extra-especially when those insides become outsides.
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: It’s no secret that Abigail is the vampire around these parts, and that she likes to plie and jete in between masticating her victims (it’s in the trailers and everything), so obviously the sequel needs to be ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN. ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! Someone needs to make ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! I mean, why couldn’t it exist in a world that gave us Freddy vs. Jason?
Performance Worth Watching: Barrera is a terrific Final Girl. And Weir throws herself whole-hog into the demonic role (it’s a lot of fun hearing this adorable kid spew obscenities like a sailor who accidentally dropped anchor on his toe). Stevens has his terrifically sleazy moments and Durand delivers some nicely modulated comedy. But I gotta go with Lisa Frankenstein herself, Newton, who slays a few one-liners and makes the absolute most out of the movie’s most demented sequence.
Memorable Dialogue: You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Stevens quip, “Sammy, those are f—in’ onions” to the dimwit tasked with finding garlic to combat vampires.
Sex and Skin: None.
Our Take: In retrospect, the best joke in Abigail is how it starts off a little slow and dry and a lot like many other bickering-bad-guys crime thrillers, then subtly becomes one of the year’s most uproarious comedies thanks to a collection of nutty performances and exquisitely timed bursts of pustulent gore. Horror movies are often populated with characters I like to call one-by-oners, because the monster or slasher or alien picks them off one at a time, thus drawing out the plot to feature-length. But they rarely feature one-by-oners with much personality. Abigail is unique in that you’re loath to see the one-by-oners die, because it means they no longer exist to say and do hilarious shit anymore.
On the other hand, they die in a fashion that’s so gruesome and entertaining, you’re too slackjawed to mourn their passing. The film absolutely functions within the confines of formulaic horror – put jerks in a creepy house and slaughter away – but adorns the familiarities with a few visual eccentricities, some amusingly silly twists and a screenplay that sets up its talented, tonally on-point cast to succeed. Abigail is a case where it’s not the material but what you do with it that counts, and Gillett and Bettinelli-Olpin deliver the goods with wit, a little bit of suspense and some gloriously gross buckets of blood, just like Grandma likes it.
Our Call: There are times when Abigail doesn’t make sense and is not a perfect movie but I had too much fun watching it and refuse to nitpick it so STREAM IT. Thank you.
John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Movie Reviews
Movie reviews reveal 2026’s best Certified Fresh films are arriving in March – Art Threat
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Movie Reviews reveal 2026’s best Certified Fresh films are arriving this month with stellar critical acclaim. March 2026 brings an extraordinary lineup of top-rated releases. Critics and audiences are celebrating these exceptional films together.
🔥 Quick Facts
- Project Hail Mary: 95% Tomatometer, 96% audience score, released March 20, 2026
- Certified Fresh Status: 75% critic rating or higher with 5+ Top Critics reviews required
- March Releases: Hoppers (94%), GOAT (84%), Send Help (93%) all certified fresh
- Streaming Options: Multiple platforms including Netflix, Peacock with exclusive March releases
Project Hail Mary Dominates with 95% Critical Acclaim
Project Hail Mary opened March 20, 2026, becoming the standout theatrical certif fresh hit of the month. Ryan Gosling stars as science teacher Ryland Grace, waking up light-years from home with no memory. The sci-fi epic, directed by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, earned 95% from critics and 96% audience approval. Cinephiles praise its visual splendor and emotional depth.
According to reviews, the film balances spectacular space sequences with genuine human moments that resonate deeply. Amazon MGM Studios released this 156-minute masterpiece based on Andy Weir’s beloved novel. Early box office numbers exceed expectations significantly.
Streaming Certified Fresh Titles Light Up March
March 24, 2026 delivered major streaming victories. GOAT (Greatest of All Time) hit platforms with 84% critic score and 93% audience approval. This animated sports comedy features Caleb McLaughlin as an anthropomorphic goat chasing championship glory. Send Help arrived simultaneously, earning 93% critical praise with 87% viewer satisfaction. Both titles capture hearts through humor and heart.
Streaming platforms flooded March with 69 new movies and shows total. Critics celebrated the diverse quality spanning cult classics, acclaimed dramas, and blockbuster franchises all at once.
Beyond the Blockbusters: Other Standout Certified Fresh March Releases
| Title | Tomatometer Score | Release Date | Status |
| Hoppers | 94% | March 6, 2026 | Theaters |
| Ready or Not 2 | 73% | March 20, 2026 | Theaters |
| Late Shift | 96% | March 20, 2026 | Theaters |
| Two Prosecutors | 97% | March 20, 2026 | Theaters |
“Visually, it is strong and immersive, but the real strength of Project Hail Mary is not spectacle alone. It is the sense of wonder and humanity running through the entire experience. The film knows when to be exciting, when to be funny, and when to slow down and let the emotional moments land.”
— IMDb Critics, Film Review Community
What Makes a Film Certified Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes
Certified Fresh status represents the industry’s gold standard for quality filmmaking. A movie earning this distinction must achieve at least 75% rating from professional critics. Additionally, films require 5 or more Top Critics reviews for certification. Recent updates tightened these standards to ensure only genuinely excellent films qualify.
This rigorous process explains why March’s nine certified fresh titles matter significantly. Critics spent hours analyzing each film thoroughly before adding their names. The combined critical weight behind these movies suggests spring viewing will be exceptional.
Plan Your March Movie Marathon Now – Which Film Will You Watch First?
Theater-goers should prioritize Project Hail Mary before it leaves cinemas. The 156-minute runtime demands a big screen experience. Meanwhile, streaming subscribers face delightful choices between GOAT’s comedy charm and Send Help’s heartfelt drama. Ready or Not 2 and Late Shift round out theatrical options perfectly.
New releases continue flowing through March 27, 2026, keeping entertainment options fresh. Kiki’s Delivery Service rereleased March 13, while Stand by Me returned March 27 with new appreciation. Which certified fresh film matches your mood this weekend?
Sources
- Rotten Tomatoes – Official certification database and critical scoring system
- Variety – Best movies streaming in March 2026 coverage
- The Wrap – Most anticipated films arriving in March analysis
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Movie Reviews
MOVIE REVIEW: “THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE” is a fantastic deep dive into one of cryptozoology’s lesser-known mysteries – Rue Morgue
By BREANNA WHIPPLE
Starring Bruce G. Hallenbeck, Martha Hallenbeck and Paul Bartholomew
Directed by Seth Breedlove
Small Town Monsters
Whether you are a skeptic or a believer, it cannot be denied that certain pockets of our planet are hotspots for unusual activity. You’d be hard-pressed to find a person unfamiliar with the mysterious disappearances in the Bermuda Triangle, for example. Furthermore, places like Skinwalker Ranch in Utah have been documented extensively after multitudes of reports of various phenomena – UFOs, ghosts, cryptids, ancient shapeshifting elemental spirits that consume human flesh… it has it all. The Pacific Northwest is another location of intrigue with phenomena ranging from UFOs and cryptids to ghosts and sea monsters.
More often than not, all that is supernatural seems to flow collectively. It’s not at all uncommon for grey aliens to come with a side of poltergeists and shapeshifters. Evidently, where there is smoke, there is fire. And Kinderhook, New York, is one such place ablaze with the high strangeness.


THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE is a companion piece to The Kinderhook Creature & Beyond: A Personal Reminiscence by Bruce G. Hallenbeck. Naturally, Hallenbeck guides the unfolding events chronicled in the doc. Growing up under the care of his beloved late grandmother, Martha Hallenbeck, in a home surrounded by dense woods, he has memories that read like a choose-your-own-adventure novel. An unseen, incomprehensible, supernatural threat to shock and astound lurks around every corner. Martha was once quoted as saying, “I’d love to live in a haunted house!” Bruce’s apt response was, “Grandma, I think you do.”
“Haunted” feels like an inappropriate description. What happens in Kinderhook is so fantastical that it is difficult to fit under a single umbrella. White, bloblike apparitions are only the tip of the iceberg. A sargantuan beast with red eyes, the doc’s eponymous creature, has been seen stalking nearby. Strange noises emanate from the woods, UFOs have been spotted, objects have levitated and strange dreams have been had… Something is very different in Kinderhook.

To call THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE a wild-ride would be a gross understatement – the film is so full of so many unexpected twists, turns and encounters that it is a curious wonder why the area hasn’t been more widely acknowledged in cryptozoological circles until now. Again, director Seth Breedlove and the Small Monsters team have shone their spotlight on a tiny, strange corner of the world. On top of fantastic interview content, the documentary is chock-full of archival footage. Masterfully edited, THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE is made with love and attentive care, which is much deserved for a field of interest that isn’t always taken very seriously.
Of course, mystery is the source of the allure. As a species, we simply cannot know everything. Not every mystery can be solved, regardless of how advanced we become. Apelike humanoid sightings have been reported for as long as Indigenous people have been recording history with hide and stone. Theorists pore over speculations of time-travelling advanced beings, primitive species, protectors of the forest… It all sounds outrageous to those who have yet to open their mind to the possibility that there are forces at work that we simply cannot comprehend. One can easily write off the Patterson-Gimlin film as a hoax, but how can one explain the similarities in sightings from around the globe, again, for decades, if not centuries? One of the tales told in THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE mentions a sighting of a family of the Bigfoot-like cryptid. A similar occurrence is documented in the 1956 book The Long Walk by Sławomir Rawicz – a dramatic, first-hand account of a group of Gulag escapees in the 1940s that encountered a family of Yeti-like creatures in the Himalayas after fleeing Siberia on foot.

Even in the specific cases presented in THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE, there are curious synchronicities spanning a century. A woman speaks of an instance in 1981 when she and a friend skipped school to pick apples. While biking down a dirt road flanked by corn fields on both sides, they encountered a massive creature that towered above the stalks. Its gait was so wide that it was able to jump across the road with ease, its apelike arms swinging. What the girls likely did not know was that 100 years earlier, in 1881, livestock regularly went missing in the area. Locals eventually found a cave with piles of bones lying outside the entrance. Upon this discovery, they encountered a similar beast. They shot at it, nearly missing it. However, it left a mysterious lock of brown hair behind.
Breedlove has proved time and time again that Small Town Monsters is the reigning champion of quality cryptozoological documentaries. Aside from the obvious fun that naturally comes with investigating strange phenomena, much of the film focuses on Hallenbeck’s relationship with his grandmother. The bond they shared was beyond unique. They seemed to share an abundance of love, joy, fun and an appreciation for the mysterious.
We can learn a lot from these stories, exploring history, fear and curiosity. With THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE, Small Town Monsters again proves that cryptids and the legends that surround them will never get boring.
THE KINDERHOOK CREATURE: IN THE SHADOW OF SASQUATCH is available now on digital platforms.
Movie Reviews
Ron Brown’s movie reviews: ‘Project Hail Mary’ and more
Lisa Dent
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A native of Rockford, Lisa Dent, heard 2 pm to 6 pm weekdays, began her radio career in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin in 1981. She has worked at stations in Minneapolis, San Diego, Seattle, and Houston. Dent returned to Chicago in 2002. (Click for more.)
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