I can’t remember the last decent vampire movie I saw, so thank the deities for Abigail (now streaming on Peacock, in addition to VOD services like Amazon Prime Video), which is one hell of a bloodletter with a convoluted backstory. The film originated as a remake of Dracula’s Daughter, and was slotted as an entry in Universal’s Dark Universe horror franchise; but once that ill-fated idea went kerplotz, the directorial team of Tyler Gillett and Matt Bettinelli-Olpin (Ready or Not and the two most recent Scream films) took the helm and made the movie under their Radio Silence banner. My expectations were low, as the Screams felt like rehash and the drowsiness from lame-ass Dracula flick The Last Voyage of the Demeter lingered, but if anything will make an old cynic enthusiastic about vampires again, it’s Abigail.
ABIGAIL: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?
The Gist: We open in what seems like a completely different movie. No, seriously. It’s a kidnapping thriller in which a cadre of misfit criminals bust into a rich man’s mansion and steal his 12-year-old daughter for a $50 million ransom. It’s one of those Reservoir Dogs-type jobs where none of the crooks know each other’s names so there’ll be no ratting on anyone, and they get nicknames, and all that. Our lead is Joey (Melissa Barrera), who seems a little out of place with this crew of freaks, probably because she’s the true protag with big, soft, sympathetic eyes that she uses to look at the photo of her estranged son on her phone. She’s also not thrilled to learn, moments before they bust in, that their target is a little girl. But there’s money to be made and a job to do, and her part of it is to knock the kid out with an injection.
The others are pretty much a bunch of mixed nuts: Frank (Dan Stevens) leads the crew and wears glasses that tell us he’s slick and shifty like the gearbox on a Ferrari. Peter (Kevin Durand) is a man mighty of muscle but slow of mind. Rickles (Will Catlett) is the poker-faced sniper. Sammy (Kathryn Newton) is the sassy hacker. Dean (Angus Cloud) is the getaway driver who’s got naught but a couple of chiclets rattling around where his brains should be. They snatch Abigail (Alisha Weir) and convene with plan mastermind Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito) in a dilapidated mansion with a giant elevator cage as a centerpiece – I wonder if it’ll come in handy at all should anyone need it – and decor ranging from cluster-o’-antlers light fixtures to gross taxidermy and crumbling old frescoes. No, really, frescoes! I’m sure nothing bad has ever happened in this place. It’s a bit of a fixer-upper but after several thousand hours of work and exorcisms, it’ll be so cozy!
Being the nice person around here, relatively speaking, Joey comforts poor little Abigail, who’s still wearing her tutu from ballet rehearsal. Being the shitbird around here, and the specific breed of shitbird played by Dan Stevens, Frank threatens poor little Abigail with his gun – and finds out she’s the daughter of a notorious gazillionaire who’s rumored to have a henchman capable of “tearing people apart like an animal.” That might, key word here being “might,” explain how one of them ends up with their head being detached from their body in a rather disgusting and hilarious fashion. And just when you thought this crew of crooks had exchanged enough prickly gettin’-to-know-ya banter, well, when people are fighting for their lives, they really get to know each other, especially their insides, and extra-especially when those insides become outsides.
Photo: Everett Collection
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: It’s no secret that Abigail is the vampire around these parts, and that she likes to plie and jete in between masticating her victims (it’s in the trailers and everything), so obviously the sequel needs to be ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN. ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! Someone needs to make ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! I mean, why couldn’t it exist in a world that gave us Freddy vs. Jason?
Performance Worth Watching: Barrera is a terrific Final Girl. And Weir throws herself whole-hog into the demonic role (it’s a lot of fun hearing this adorable kid spew obscenities like a sailor who accidentally dropped anchor on his toe). Stevens has his terrifically sleazy moments and Durand delivers some nicely modulated comedy. But I gotta go with Lisa Frankenstein herself, Newton, who slays a few one-liners and makes the absolute most out of the movie’s most demented sequence.
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Memorable Dialogue: You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Stevens quip, “Sammy, those are f—in’ onions” to the dimwit tasked with finding garlic to combat vampires.
Sex and Skin: None.
Our Take: In retrospect, the best joke in Abigail is how it starts off a little slow and dry and a lot like many other bickering-bad-guys crime thrillers, then subtly becomes one of the year’s most uproarious comedies thanks to a collection of nutty performances and exquisitely timed bursts of pustulent gore. Horror movies are often populated with characters I like to call one-by-oners, because the monster or slasher or alien picks them off one at a time, thus drawing out the plot to feature-length. But they rarely feature one-by-oners with much personality. Abigail is unique in that you’re loath to see the one-by-oners die, because it means they no longer exist to say and do hilarious shit anymore.
On the other hand, they die in a fashion that’s so gruesome and entertaining, you’re too slackjawed to mourn their passing. The film absolutely functions within the confines of formulaic horror – put jerks in a creepy house and slaughter away – but adorns the familiarities with a few visual eccentricities, some amusingly silly twists and a screenplay that sets up its talented, tonally on-point cast to succeed. Abigail is a case where it’s not the material but what you do with it that counts, and Gillett and Bettinelli-Olpin deliver the goods with wit, a little bit of suspense and some gloriously gross buckets of blood, just like Grandma likes it.
Our Call: There are times when Abigail doesn’t make sense and is not a perfect movie but I had too much fun watching it and refuse to nitpick it so STREAM IT. Thank you.
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John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
GLADIATOR II is Director Ridley Scott’s long-awaited return to Ancient Rome. General Maximus and Lucilla’s son, Lucius, returns to Rome as a gladiator. He’s intent on exacting revenge against the Roman general who killed his wife in a battle in another land. However, the general is now married to his mother and is involved in a plot to overthrow the evil twin emperors now ruling Rome.
GLADIATOR II is an exciting, spectacular, sometimes inspiring adventure. It has some great dramatic twists that propel the movie’s message promoting liberty over tyranny. In the end, the hero rallies the people against the tyranny of the two emperors. The movie also has a Christian character who heals the wounds of the gladiators. He makes a reference to forgiveness and salvation in one scene. However, the movie has lots of strong action violence, including some very bloody scenes. GLADIATOR II is more historical fiction than historical drama. It’s not historically accurate. Also, a male character makes a lewd joke about sometimes having homosexual relations. Finally, there are references to Roman pagan beliefs. So, MOVIEGUIDE® advises extreme caution.
(BB, PP, ACAC, C, Pa, FR, Ho, L, VVV, S, N, A, M):
Dominant Worldview and Other Worldview Content/Elements:
Strong moral worldview supports liberty and general republican virtues against imperial tyranny, plus a Christian character is a former gladiator who has become a physician who binds up the gladiators’ wounds and befriends the hero and speaks about forgiveness and salvation in one scene, with some Roman paganism/hedonism and hero has dreams of his recently dead wife getting on the boat with the ferryman to the afterlife, and the evil twin Roman emperors dress effeminately, and another villain jokes about having been with men as well as women in one scene;
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Foul Language:
Two “d” words (one is old-fashioned);
Violence:
Some very strong such as a bloody beheading in the arena, and lots of strong violence such as lots of sword fighting, gladiators fight off a bunch of vicious baboons, Roman armada storms a walled city with lots of war violence, woman shot with an arrow and plunges off wall onto sandy and rocky beach, many people hit with arrows, gladiators fight off another gladiator riding a large charging rhinoceros, gladiators fight a sea battle in the Coliseum, bloody murder, etc.;
Sex:
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No sex scenes, but the evil twin Roman emperors dress effeminately, and another villain jokes about having been with men as well as women in one scene (these things seem to reflect the decadence that was Ancient Rome), and two scenes of marital couples kissing;
Nudity:
Some upper male nudity images in battle scenes and gladiator scenes;
Alcohol Use:
Some wine drinking;
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Smoking and/or Drug Use and Abuse:
No smoking or drugs; and,
Miscellaneous Immorality:
Revenge but it’s overcome by forgiveness and sacrifice, gambling on gladiator battles.
GLADIATOR II is Director Ridley Scott’s long-awaited return to Ancient Rome, in a story about General Maximus and Lucilla’s son, Lucius, returning to Rome as a gladiator, intent on exacting revenge against the Roman general who killed his wife in a battle in another land. GLADIATOR II is an exciting, spectacular, sometimes inspiring adventure with some great dramatic twists and a message promoting a libertarian republic over tyranny, but it has some very strong violence and doesn’t strive for total historical accuracy, so extreme caution is advised.
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The movie opens with Lucius as a young, high-ranking, married soldier in the North African kingdom of Numidia, the Roman Province which later became the home of St. Augustine. A Roman general named Acasius leads a Roman armada against the capitol city on the shore. The city is no match for the Romans. They soon overrun the city and take Lucius prisoner after Acasius orders an archer during the battle to shoot his wife who was firing arrows from atop the city’s walls.
Lucius is turned into a gladiator, who’s bought by a former gladiator named Macrinus. Macrinus is a clever man who’s ingratiated himself with the Roman elite, including the twin emperors, Geta and Caracalla. Macrinus takes Lucius to fight in the Coliseum in Rome.
Lucius swears revenge against Acasius. He’s determined to find a way to kill the man who killed his wife. His mother, Lucilla, as the daughter of a respected former emperor, is still part of Roman royalty and watches the gladiator battles from the royal box. She recognizes the mannerisms of his father in Lucius, who’s going by his adopted Numidian name. Years ago, Lucilla had sent her son away, to hide him from people in Rome who would like to kill the son of General Maximus, who’s in the line to become Emperor. Now, however, Lucilla also happens to be the wife of General Acacius, the man who Lucius wants to kill.
Lucilla meets secretly with her son. However, Lucius is angry she abandoned him and sent him away. So, he refuses to acknowledge her.
Meanwhile, her husband, General Acacius, is sick of the ruthless war mongering of the twin emperors. He’s actually consorting with other dissidents, who are intent on overthrowing the twin emperors. Lucilla and her friend, Senator Gracchus, secretly support the General’s rebellion.
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These conflicts eventually come to a head, leading to an exciting finish.
GLADIATOR II is an exciting, spectacular, sometimes inspiring adventure. It has some great dramatic twists that propel the movie’s message promoting liberty over tyranny. In the end, the hero rallies the people against the tyranny of the two emperors.
That said, some may feel that the intensity of the first movie, which centered on the conflict between Russell Crowe’s heroic general and Joaquin Phoenix’s ruthless Emperor, is lacking. The sequel transfers that intensity to Paul Mescal as the young hero, Pedro Pascal as the General, and Denzel Washington as the ambitious and devious businessman.
Some of GLADIATOR II is historically accurate. However, the movie condenses the history of the twin emperors, including the dates of their deaths, which happened years apart. Also, Lucilla actually died in 182 AD, well before the timeframe of this movie. So, GLADIATOR II is more historical fiction than historical drama.
GLADIATOR II has lots of strong action violence involving battles between armies and gladiators. For example, there’s the big battle in the beginning and gladiator contests involving vicious baboons, a gladiator riding a large rhinoceros, and gladiators on two ships engaged in a sea battle inside the Coliseum. Some of the violence is very strong and bloody, and some of it is tragic when favorite characters die.
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Finally, one character in the movie makes a lewd joke about having intimate relations with women and occasionally a man.
Satya Dev’s upcoming heist drama, Zebra, is set for a grand release tomorrow, with the actor expressing high hopes for its success. Kannada star Daali Dhananjaya plays a pivotal role alongside Satya Dev.
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To build anticipation, the makers recently released a sneak peek and hosted a special show for a select audience. The latest update reveals that the film’s runtime has been set at 164 minutes (2 hours and 44 minutes), which may feel a bit lengthy for a heist thriller. It remains to be seen how well the film engages its audience.
The movie also stars Priya Bhavani Shankar, Sathyaraj, Amrutha Iyengar, and others. Produced by OldTown Production and Padmaja Films Private Limited, the film’s music is composed by Ravi Basrur, known for his work on KGF.
Directed by Amber Sealey. Starring Phoebe-Rae Taylor, Jennifer Aniston, Rosemarie DeWitt, Luke Kirby, Judith Light, Emily Mitchell, Michael Chernus, Courtney Taylor, Catherine McNally, Kate Moyer, Maria Nash, Jeff Roop, Sharron Matthews, Kim Huffman, Ian Ho, Gabriela Francis, Gavin MacIver-Wright, Maya Lee O’Connor, Nicholas Fry, Miley Haik, Lauren Plech, Nylan Parthipan, Pip McCallan, Isaak Bailey, Christian Rose, Cristiano Buchanan, Anabelle Dietl, and Mia Burke.
SYNOPSIS:
Melody Brooks is navigating sixth grade as a nonverbal wheelchair user who has cerebral palsy. With the help of some assistive technology and her devoted allies, Melody shows that what she has to say is more important than how she says it.
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Born with cerebral palsy, Melody Brooks (played by Phoebe-Rae Taylor, also born with that condition and unquestionably a significant key to the authenticity on display) is a nonverbal wheelchair user. She is also knowledgeable with ambitions and has a lot to say, but she is limited to communicating through a board attached to her wheelchair tray (a slight, realistic touch that most films about disability seem to ignore the existence of for some inexplicable reason) containing a chart of basic sentences, thoughts, feelings, and moods for simple expression.
Directed by Amber Sealey (from a screenplay by Daniel Stiepleman and based on the novel by Sharon M. Draper), Out of My Mind mainly works because it understands that giving Melody a Medi-Speak device (an electronic tool that reads off whatever is prompted, while also coming with preprogrammed basic phrases and sentences, read aloud in the usual generic computerized voices) won’t entirely solve the problem if everyone from the school faculty to her friends and immediate family vary in their struggles to listen to those words. The issues raised stem from society and the education system, not the disability itself. That’s not to say electronic voice communicators are useless. A voice is a voice, and her father Chuck’s (Luke Kirby) reaction to hearing her daughter “speak” for the first time in which he lets the waterworks flow is a heartstrings-pulling moment that doesn’t ring false.
However, even he sometimes misses the point and gets so caught up discussing what’s best for Melody with his wife, Diane (Rosemarie DeWitt), that they both end up ignoring her in the heat of the moment. He does happen to be the more forward-minded of the parents, as fearless as his daughter is about enrolling into a standard 6th-grade class rather than overachieving in special education. If expectations are already met, why not raise the bar? That alone feels like a mantra most disabled people already live by, consistently feeling the need to prove themselves to able-bodied people who can’t even be bothered to learn that they don’t have to talk to someone in a wheelchair with an awkwardly kind, pitiful tone. Nevertheless, Diane is the helicopter parent raising justifiable concerns over ostracism and bullying.
As for the speaking device, what Melody chooses to say first is equally moving, as it encapsulates and sums up the frustrations and misunderstandings she has felt, even from her family, her whole life. It’s also important to point out that the film isn’t vilifying the parents; caring for a disabled child is tricky, will wear anyone down, and inadvertently cause those miscommunications, or lack thereof. Despite one or two powerful scenes of them standing up for Melody, whether it be from an ablest school system (including a teacher played by Michael Chernus who is technically qualified at the job but is immensely punchable when it comes to his ableism and treating Melody’s classroom presence as a distraction and nuisance), the film primarily sticks with her perspective, sprinkling in some inner thoughts using the voice of Jennifer Aniston.
It’s a device used sparingly, thankfully not overdone. As for why Jennifer Aniston, Melody loves watching Friends, but one is eager to know if that’s also a choice from the book or one encouraged by Phoebe-Rae Taylor. From little details such as classroom desks placed too close together for wheelchairs to fit through the aisles, classmates feeling an awkward pressure of losing “cool” status if they are caught giving friendship a chance with Melody, and grossed-out glances her way as eating messier foods becomes, well, messy to her face, the film understands the pitfalls of public and social disabled life. Again, maybe that’s already in the novel or screenplay, but it can’t be overstated enough that when filmmakers cast disabled actors, it comes with extra layers of authenticity and insight.
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Remember that this is still a Disney+ production, so the material has a sanitized, sentimental feel while broadly playing every narrative beat. Once a nationwide quiz competition comes into play, the narrative’s focus shifts there, perhaps too much, even if it still explores Melody’s othering by some of her peers and that enraging teacher. Bluntly put, it all becomes too plot-focused and even contrived. Feel-good songs also repeatedly pop up to remind viewers that the material will never get too challenging. However, a film is sometimes so well-meaning and educationally beneficial that such saccharine material is worth overlooking. Out of My Mind offsets that with a huge heart and a dignified, optimistic, touching performance from Phoebe-Rae Taylor.
Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com
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