Movie Reviews
Stream It Or Skip It: ‘Abigail’ on Peacock, a delightfully gory vampire horror-comedy
I can’t remember the last decent vampire movie I saw, so thank the deities for Abigail (now streaming on Peacock, in addition to VOD services like Amazon Prime Video), which is one hell of a bloodletter with a convoluted backstory. The film originated as a remake of Dracula’s Daughter, and was slotted as an entry in Universal’s Dark Universe horror franchise; but once that ill-fated idea went kerplotz, the directorial team of Tyler Gillett and Matt Bettinelli-Olpin (Ready or Not and the two most recent Scream films) took the helm and made the movie under their Radio Silence banner. My expectations were low, as the Screams felt like rehash and the drowsiness from lame-ass Dracula flick The Last Voyage of the Demeter lingered, but if anything will make an old cynic enthusiastic about vampires again, it’s Abigail.
ABIGAIL: STREAM IT OR SKIP IT?
The Gist: We open in what seems like a completely different movie. No, seriously. It’s a kidnapping thriller in which a cadre of misfit criminals bust into a rich man’s mansion and steal his 12-year-old daughter for a $50 million ransom. It’s one of those Reservoir Dogs-type jobs where none of the crooks know each other’s names so there’ll be no ratting on anyone, and they get nicknames, and all that. Our lead is Joey (Melissa Barrera), who seems a little out of place with this crew of freaks, probably because she’s the true protag with big, soft, sympathetic eyes that she uses to look at the photo of her estranged son on her phone. She’s also not thrilled to learn, moments before they bust in, that their target is a little girl. But there’s money to be made and a job to do, and her part of it is to knock the kid out with an injection.
The others are pretty much a bunch of mixed nuts: Frank (Dan Stevens) leads the crew and wears glasses that tell us he’s slick and shifty like the gearbox on a Ferrari. Peter (Kevin Durand) is a man mighty of muscle but slow of mind. Rickles (Will Catlett) is the poker-faced sniper. Sammy (Kathryn Newton) is the sassy hacker. Dean (Angus Cloud) is the getaway driver who’s got naught but a couple of chiclets rattling around where his brains should be. They snatch Abigail (Alisha Weir) and convene with plan mastermind Lambert (Giancarlo Esposito) in a dilapidated mansion with a giant elevator cage as a centerpiece – I wonder if it’ll come in handy at all should anyone need it – and decor ranging from cluster-o’-antlers light fixtures to gross taxidermy and crumbling old frescoes. No, really, frescoes! I’m sure nothing bad has ever happened in this place. It’s a bit of a fixer-upper but after several thousand hours of work and exorcisms, it’ll be so cozy!
Being the nice person around here, relatively speaking, Joey comforts poor little Abigail, who’s still wearing her tutu from ballet rehearsal. Being the shitbird around here, and the specific breed of shitbird played by Dan Stevens, Frank threatens poor little Abigail with his gun – and finds out she’s the daughter of a notorious gazillionaire who’s rumored to have a henchman capable of “tearing people apart like an animal.” That might, key word here being “might,” explain how one of them ends up with their head being detached from their body in a rather disgusting and hilarious fashion. And just when you thought this crew of crooks had exchanged enough prickly gettin’-to-know-ya banter, well, when people are fighting for their lives, they really get to know each other, especially their insides, and extra-especially when those insides become outsides.
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: It’s no secret that Abigail is the vampire around these parts, and that she likes to plie and jete in between masticating her victims (it’s in the trailers and everything), so obviously the sequel needs to be ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN. ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! Someone needs to make ABIGAIL VS. M3GAN! I mean, why couldn’t it exist in a world that gave us Freddy vs. Jason?
Performance Worth Watching: Barrera is a terrific Final Girl. And Weir throws herself whole-hog into the demonic role (it’s a lot of fun hearing this adorable kid spew obscenities like a sailor who accidentally dropped anchor on his toe). Stevens has his terrifically sleazy moments and Durand delivers some nicely modulated comedy. But I gotta go with Lisa Frankenstein herself, Newton, who slays a few one-liners and makes the absolute most out of the movie’s most demented sequence.
Memorable Dialogue: You haven’t lived until you’ve heard Stevens quip, “Sammy, those are f—in’ onions” to the dimwit tasked with finding garlic to combat vampires.
Sex and Skin: None.
Our Take: In retrospect, the best joke in Abigail is how it starts off a little slow and dry and a lot like many other bickering-bad-guys crime thrillers, then subtly becomes one of the year’s most uproarious comedies thanks to a collection of nutty performances and exquisitely timed bursts of pustulent gore. Horror movies are often populated with characters I like to call one-by-oners, because the monster or slasher or alien picks them off one at a time, thus drawing out the plot to feature-length. But they rarely feature one-by-oners with much personality. Abigail is unique in that you’re loath to see the one-by-oners die, because it means they no longer exist to say and do hilarious shit anymore.
On the other hand, they die in a fashion that’s so gruesome and entertaining, you’re too slackjawed to mourn their passing. The film absolutely functions within the confines of formulaic horror – put jerks in a creepy house and slaughter away – but adorns the familiarities with a few visual eccentricities, some amusingly silly twists and a screenplay that sets up its talented, tonally on-point cast to succeed. Abigail is a case where it’s not the material but what you do with it that counts, and Gillett and Bettinelli-Olpin deliver the goods with wit, a little bit of suspense and some gloriously gross buckets of blood, just like Grandma likes it.
Our Call: There are times when Abigail doesn’t make sense and is not a perfect movie but I had too much fun watching it and refuse to nitpick it so STREAM IT. Thank you.
John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
Movie Reviews
‘Mortal Kombat II’ is an Entertaining Mess of a Film – Review
We went to see Mortal Kombat II in theaters and wow do we have thoughts about it.
*warning: minor spoilers below for Mortal Kombat II
I’ll freely admit that I was excited to see the sequel to Mortal Kombat (2021). That movie was pure dumb fun from start to finish, and most agreed that as long as a sequel kept that same tone, it would likely be equally fun to watch.
Well…I have good news and bad news.
The good news is: Mortal Kombat II is indeed filled with a lot of dumb fun.
The bad news: the parts that aren’t dumb fun are really, really bad and awkward.
Mortal Kombat II
Directed by: Simon McQuoid
Starring: Karl Urban, Adeline Rudolph, Jessica McNamee, Josh Lawson, Ludi Lin, Mehcad Brooks
Release Date: May 8, 2026
Mortal Kombat II is set up sometime after the events of the 2021 film, with the evil Shao Kahn set to call for the final Mortal Kombat tournament that will decide the fate of Earthrealm, as one more defeat means Shao Kahn and Outworld will gain total control. Lord Raiden, meanwhile, is in search of the last champion Earthrealm needs to compete in the tournament and has just located him: Johnny Cage, a washed up actor and martial artist who is way past his prime and very cynical about everything.
Let me just start by saying that as much fun as this film is for the most part, Mortal Kombat II could’ve been so much better. The 2021 film proved that it’s possible. Tell a coherent plot, throw in a heavy amount of fighting scenes that pay homage to the video games, and you really can’t go wrong.
Where Mortal Kombat II fails, for the most part, is in trying to tell a coherent plot. Whereas the first film took the time to introduce us to Cole Young and his struggles, this film barely introduces Johnny Cage before we are tossed headlong into the tournament portion of the story. It genuinely felt like about an hour of exposition was missing, exposition that could have better rounded out Johnny’s character and how he feels about being suddenly responsible for the fate of Earthrealm. There are hints of some of these things, but it always feels like something is missing.

Speaking of Cole Young, this sequel, to put it bluntly, did him dirty. Given his suspicious absence from most of the promo materials, it was heavily suspected Cole’s story was not going to end well, but for goodness’ sake it didn’t have to go like that. I genuinely liked Cole by the end of the 2021 film and here he was barely more than a glorified extra. I don’t know what the film writers were thinking, but treating the main protagonist of the previous film in this way is not a good look.
Then there’s the downright uneven tone of the story. The portions with Shao Kahn are, quite rightly, dark and deadly serious. Shao Kahn is set up as an absolute monster and you feel that every second he’s on the screen. But the problem is the film will cut from a moment of brutality to a moment of awkward humor that feels very out of place. Most of these come from Josh Lawson, who is back as Kano in a manner that could’ve been epic but feels like it was thrown together just because the writers could.

I’m not saying a Mortal Kombat film can’t be funny or have moments that are funny, but the humor here just felt…off…or just downright awkward.
It wasn’t all bad. Mortal Kombat II had a number of things that were done right and kept this film from being a complete disaster. The most important of these were, as you might expect, the fighting scenes. As in the prior film, Mortal Kombat II paid homage to the video game with a number of combat scenes that felt like they came right out of the video game, right down to the way the camera panned around to show the two combatants squaring up to each other.

All of the fight scenes were great, but my two favorites had to be the scenes with Kitana and Shao Kahn respectively. Shao Kahn, as mentioned before, is set up as this terrifying being whose evil knows no bounds. He feels like he stepped right out of the video game and I couldn’t have asked for a better interpretation.
I’m equally thrilled with how Kitana’s story is presented. Kitana has been my favorite Mortal Kombat character for years and Adeline Rudolph plays her to perfection. The film made sure to give Kitana her iconic fan weapons and I love how they were used. Forgive the minor spoiler but those fans are responsible for some of the most brutal deaths in the film.
At the end of the day, you’ll likely leave the theater feeling entertained by Mortal Kombat II. The fight scenes alone are worth the price of admission, and Kitana’s story is very well told. Just…don’t think too hard about the rest of it.
Movie Reviews
Mortal Kombat 2 Movie Review: Simon McQuoid’s Latest Is A Breezy, Bloody, Sometimes Baffling Time
Warner Bros. has a new movie to put in the ring. Mortal Kombat II, the sequel to the action-filled 2021 video game adaptation that at the very least got the gore right, is here. It’s a breezy, bloody entry that leans heavily on video game characters and logic, a move that should satisfy franchise fans, even if the actual narrative is too weak to win over new converts.
We’re in an era of regular, variably solid video game adaptations. Series like The Last of Us and Fallout, and films such as Sonic the Hedgehog and Werewolves Within, are exemplary, with stories that capture much of what works about the games. On the other hand, adaptations like Borderlands show that it’s still possible to get one wrong. The stakes remain high.
When director Simon McQuoid’s Mortal Kombat graced the screens and HBO Max, it was received with a sizable difference between fans (currently 85% on Rotten Tomatoes with over 5,000 verified ratings) and critics (55% with 299 factored in). It was refreshing to have fights that didn’t skimp on the game series’ violence, but some muddled plotting, a failure to fully capture the game’s feel, and centering the film on an original character (rather than a fan-favorite from the games) were ill-received.
Mortal Kombat II is a bigger and more faithful adaptation in many ways. The tournament actually feels deadly, and many of the fight sequences are sufficiently bloody to accurately reflect the games. The actual narrative falls apart somewhat when you think too hard about it, but it largely works, and certain characters (Kano, Johnny Cage) steal every scene they’re in. If you like your movies bloody with a side of silly, you’re in luck.
Mortal Kombat 2 Has Stellar New Additions
Mortal Kombat II doesn’t waste time in setting the stakes, with an opening fight between Eternia’s King Jerrod and Shao Kahn (Martyn Ford). The helmeted tyrant Kahn’s violent victory allows him to raise Jerrod’s daughter, Kitana, as he comes to rule Eternia thanks to his tournament victories. That backstory sets up the complex journey of adult Kitana (Adeline Rudolph), who fights for Kahn alongside longtime friend Jade (Tati Gabrielle), but has understandable reservations.
Another major element of this iteration is the addition of washed-up action star Johnny Cage (Karl Urban), who is recruited to fight for Earthrealm despite lacking powers. Cage has to fight under the tutelage of Lord Raiden (Tadanobu Asano), alongside mainstays including Sonya Blade (Jessica McNamee), Jax (Mehcad Brooks), Cole Young (Lewis Tan), and Liu Kang (Ludi Lin). Our heroes have to defeat Shao Khan’s warriors to save Earth, all the while preventing him from acquiring an amulet that would render him immortal.
Urban is a stellar addition to the series, with a huge and charismatic personality that fits Johnny Cage and is fun to watch onscreen. Josh Lawson’s dirtbag mercenary Kano gets some fantastic scenes here, and the two add a lot of charm that some other characters may lack. Adeline Rudolph is empathetic and believably tactical as Kitana. Gabrielle’s Jade isn’t given enough key scenes to shine, but there’s clear potential for the character in future iterations.
Baraka (CJ Bloomfield) isn’t the deepest character, but Bloomfield makes him memorable, and his relationship with Johnny Cage is always a fun watch. While Tan’s Cole Young has something to do in Mortal Kombat II, he’s much less of a focus here, as are returning favorites like Hiroyuki Sanada and Joe Taslim’s Bi-Han.
There are new characters, many moving parts, and a narrative that’s more a string of battles than a traditional Hollywood tale, leaving some favorites underutilized. Because of the need to introduce new characters, most of the existing ones are relatively one-note. Kitana and Johnny Cage get ample screen time, even character arcs, and Kano, Baraka, and some others do get standout moments. Most characters, however, remain one-note figures.
Mortal Kombat II Doesn’t Fully Make Sense, but It Mostly Hits Hard
While Mortal Kombat 2 doesn’t have the biggest fights you’ll see this year (that would be The Furious), it does have quite a few memorable ones with great finishers. The final fight with Shao Kahn has a solid ending, and many get standout moments as the movie proceeds. Kitana, Baraka, Liu Kang, Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion, and Kung Lao all get particularly unforgettable moments.
A more faithful structure also makes this round’s fights feel a bit more like one is playing an actual Mortal Kombat game, which is welcome. Most are well-paced, though a few could use tighter editing. Unfortunately, the story is more than a little muddled. Shao Kahn wants a Maguffin to be unkillable, sure, but if the tournament rules allow an invasion of Earthrealm if and only if Earth’s champions defeat Outworld’s five times, isn’t an immortality-granting amulet the equivalent of steroid use? Where are the referees?
Some characters (like Jade) change allegiances almost at random, with no consistency. There are several moments when characters make choices that don’t make sense, or at least we don’t have enough information to understand them.
Altogether, Mortal Kombat II learned from quite a few of the issues the first film had. It swapped out protagonists for one with a flashier personality, better replicated the game’s elements and structure, and had kills to boot. That’s largely enough to succeed for the kind of film it is, but it still has issues.
There are too many characters to develop in any interesting way, the tournament rules and character plans don’t make total sense, and the pacing is quick in some moments and slow in others. Nonetheless, it’s a delightful outing and feels just like a big ol’ violent video game (complimentary).
Final Rating: 7/10
Mortal Kombat 2 is playing in theaters.
Movie Reviews
1986 Movie Reviews – Dangerously Close, Fire with Fire, Last Resort, and Short Circuit | The Nerdy
Welcome to an exciting year-long project here at The Nerdy. 1986 was an exciting year for films giving us a lot of films that would go on to be beloved favorites and cult classics. It was also the start to a major shift in cultural and societal norms, and some of those still reverberate to this day.
We’re going to pick and choose which movies we hit, but right now the list stands at nearly four dozen.
Yes, we’re insane, but 1986 was that great of a year for film.
The articles will come out – in most cases – on the same day the films hit theaters in 1986 so that it is their true 40th anniversary. All films are also watched again for the purposes of these reviews and are not being done from memory. In some cases, it truly will be the first time we’ve seen them.
This time around, it’s May 9, 1986, and we’re off to see Dangerously Close, Fire with Fire, Last Resort, and Short Circuit.
Dangerously Close
I would love to tell you what the point of this film was, but I’m not sure it knew.
An elite school has turned into a magnet school, attracting some “undesirables,” so a group of students known as The Sentinels take up policing their school, but will they go too far?
The basic plot of the film is simple enough, but there is an oddball “twist” toward the end tht served no real purpose and somehow turns the whole thing into a murder-mystery. Mysteries only work when you know you’re supposed to be solving them, and not when you’re alerted to one existing with 15 minutes left.
Decent 80s music, some stylistic shots, absolutely no substance.

Fire with Fire
Oh wait… I may want to go back and watch Dangerously Close again over this one.
Joe Fisk (Craig Sheffer) is being held at a juvenile delinquent facility close a high-end all-girls Catholic school. One day while running through the forest as part of an exercise he spots Catholic schoolgirl Lisa Taylor (Virginia Madsen) and the two fall immediately in love because… reasons.
This film is just so incredibly lazy. The ‘love story’ really can just be chalked up to ‘hormones.’

Last Resort
Once again I am baffled how Charles Grodin kept getting work so much through out the 1980s.
George Lollar (Grodin) is a salesman in Chicago in need of a vacation. He loads up the family and takes them to Club Sand, which turns out to be a swingers resort as well as surrounded by barbed wire to keep rebels out.
There are a lot of talented people in this movie such as Phil Hartman and Megan Mullally, but the film lets them down at every turn with half-baked ideas of jokes. Supposedly, Grodin rewrote nearly the entire script and I think that explains a lot about how this film feels like unfinished ideas. It’s a Frankenstein monster of a script with half-complete ideas that feel like they are from completely different movies.

Short Circuit
Lets just get this out of the way: What in the world was Fisher Stevens doing?
NOVA Laboratory has come up with a new series of military robots called S.A.I.N.T. (Strategic Artificially Intelligent Nuclear Transport). Following a successful demonstration for the military, Five is struck by an electrical surge and finds itself needing ‘input.’ After inadvertently escaping the lab, it wands into the life of Stephanie Speck (Ally Sheedy), who cares for animals and takes Five in. Dr. Newton Crosby (Steve Guttenberg) is trying to get five back, while the security team wants to destroy it.
Overall, the film is thin, but harmless. The 80s did seem to love a ‘technology being used for the wrong reasons’ theme, and this falls into that camp. What is mind-blowing, however, is Stevens as Ben Jabituya, Crosby’s assistant. Not only is he wearing brown face, but he’s doing a horrible Indian accent and later reveals he was born and raised in the U.S.
His whole character is mystifying.
Honestly, a couple of decades ago I may have recommended this movie, but it’s a definite pass now just for being offensive.
1986 Movie Reviews will continue on May 16, 2026, with Sweet Liberty and Top Gun.
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