Rumours, 2024.

Written and Directed by Evan Johnson, Galen Johnson, and Guy Maddin.
Starring Cate Blanchett, Roy Dupuis, Nikki Amuka-Bird, Charles Dance, Takehiro Hira, Denis Ménochet, Rolando Ravello, Zlatko Burić, and Alicia Vikander.

SYNOPSIS:

The leaders of seven wealthy democracies get lost in the woods while drafting a statement on a global crisis, facing danger as they attempt to find their way out.

Even those not well-versed in film or basic symbolism will get the point Rumours is making and be exhausted long before it’s over. That’s annoying enough, especially since the targets, world leaders getting together for a G7 meeting to collaborate on a statement regarding an unspecified global crisis, are already low-hanging fruit. Then writers/directors Evan Johnson, Galen Johnson, and Guy Maddin go a step further, bordering on insulting the viewers, having these world leaders waxing philosophical about how they are less than human and more stand-ins for various beliefs across the political spectrum, much like we aren’t getting to know characters but more so stand-ins for whatever punchline the script wants to make about each country’s leader.

The numerous jokes quickly run their course. However, making matters worse is that these global leaders don’t actually do much, and not much happens in the film, which is the grand joke here. These influential individuals come together and either vent about their romantic relationships, get sexually involved with each other, rant about things they can’t do anymore, bicker, or generally get caught up in their self-absorbed lives. Roughly halfway in, they are interrupted by reanimated masturbating corpses from thousands of years ago, which is naturally intended to be more funny than frightening but also gets old fast, considering there is no real threat being posed. It’s wacky, irreverent, and inspired, but the point of everything is made so bluntly that the film becomes a frustrating, sluggish watch.

The impressive ensemble, which consists of Cate Blanchett as Germany’s Hilda Orlmann, Charles Dance’s US President Edison Wolcott, France’s Sylvain Broulez (Denis Ménochet), British Prime Minister Cardosa Dewindt (Nikki Amuka-Bird), and others admittedly find some humor in the material and bounce dialogue off of each other well enough, but that also doesn’t salvage a film that goes on forever making a rather obvious point about the effectiveness, honesty, and morals of such world leaders.

Denis Ménochet probably shines the most here, possibly because he gets to work with the strangest material; he first encounters one of the zombies, then is unable to walk due to an inexplicable “leg injury,” and then finds himself locked into a hypnotized writing groove while being pushed around a dark forest in a wheelbarrow. Takehiro Hira’s Japanese leader, Tatsuro Iwasaki, also has amusing exchanges with everyone he interacts with, mostly from some of the uneducated, stupid questions he finds himself answering (there’s a funny one about Japanese fans.) 

Speaking of that forest, there are cheesy fog machines and moody lighting, also playing into the idea that this isn’t meant to be scary and that these global leaders are just terrified cowards incapable of dealing with any major crisis.  There is certainly nothing wrong with the film’s aesthetics or visuals, including a giant brain in the middle of the forest that Alica Vikander’s European leader, Celestine Sproul, has a mysterious connection to, conversing using an unknown language. The unabashed weirdness is welcome, but again, it doesn’t necessarily offset how broad and stale the jokes are at the expense of each country’s leader and the more prominent point being made about their uselessness. Rumours is taking the cheap, easy route for what could have been a terrific and scathing timely satire.

Flickering Myth Rating – Film: ★ ★ / Movie: ★ ★

Robert Kojder is a member of the Chicago Film Critics Association and the Critics Choice Association. He is also the Flickering Myth Reviews Editor. Check here for new reviews, follow my Twitter or Letterboxd, or email me at MetalGearSolid719@gmail.com

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