Denzel Washington revealed to Esquire magazine as part of a new cover story that he got bitter after losing the best actor Oscar to Kevin Spacey in 2000. Washington was already a three-time Oscar nominee and one-time winner when his performance as Rubin Carter in “The Hurriance” landed him in the Oscar for best actor opposite Spacey (“American Beauty”), Russell Crowe (“The Insider”), Richard Farnsworth (“The Straight Story”) and Sean Penn (“Sweet and Lowdown”). Washington won a Golden Globe for his performance, but the Oscar went to Spacey.

“At the Oscars, they called Kevin Spacey’s name for ‘American Beauty,’” Washington said. “I have a memory of turning around and looking at him, and nobody was standing but the people around him. And everyone else was looking at me. Not that it was this way. Maybe that’s the way I perceived it. Maybe I felt like everybody was looking at me. Because why would everybody be looking at me? Thinking about it now, I don’t think they were.”

“I’m sure I went home and drank that night. I had to,” Washington said about his reaction to losing. “I don’t want to sound like, ‘Oh, he won my Oscar,’ or anything like that. It wasn’t like that. And you know, there was talk in the town about what was going on over there on that side of the street, and that’s between him and God. I ain’t got nothing to do with that. I pray for him. That’s between him and his maker.”

“The Hurricane” marked the second time Washington had found himself in the best actor race. He was previously nominated in the category for playing the title role in Spike Lee’s “Malcom X,” but the Oscar went to Al Pacino for “Scent of a Woman” instead. After losing best actor for a second time, Washington grew bitter and had his wife, Paulette, start voting in his place for the Academy Awards.

“I went through a time then when [my wife] Pauletta would watch all the Oscar movies—I told her, I don’t care about that. Hey: They don’t care about me? I don’t care,” Washington said. “You vote. You watch them. I ain’t watching that. I gave up. I got bitter. My pity party.”

Two years after losing best actor, Washington would finally win his first Academy Award for best actor thanks to “Training Day.” His victory made him only the was the second African-American performer to win the category, following Sidney Poitier for 1963’s “Lilies of the Field.” Washington has since gone on to earn four more Oscar nominations, most recently in 2022 for “The Tragedy of Macbeth.” He’s now back in the Oscar race in the supporting category field for “Gladiator 2.”

Head over to Esquire’s website to read Washington’s cover story in its entirety.