Dear Carolyn: For the last three years, my adult daughter has been in a polyamorous relationship with a married couple. They live in another state, and I’ve met the couple only twice. I like the wife more than the husband. She’s similar to my daughter. Both women hold well-paying jobs with potential for advancement. The husband puts in his 40 hours at a mediocre job, then plays video games while his wife and my daughter take care of the house.
Washington
Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom worries about daughter’s family plans with polyamorous couple
But here’s where things have gotten really difficult for me. The couple recently decided to have a baby. My daughter announced this by telling me out of the blue, “You could be a grandmother soon.” I hate to be shallow, but any baby this couple has will not feel like my grandchild.
After I processed the information for a few days, my daughter and I had a long talk. I expressed my feelings, that the baby would have two sets of doting biological grandparents and I would just be some woman they saw every once in a while. I also asked my daughter if she was ready for the many changes a baby would make to their lives.
My daughter said she understood. Well, suddenly, she tells me she will adopt the baby as a “third parent.” (The wife is not yet pregnant.) I asked her if she fully understood all that adoption entailed. If she and the couple ever broke up, she would still be the child’s legal parent. I asked her why she felt the need to adopt the child and advised her to see an attorney before making any decision.
I’m worried she’s planning to adopt because of my remark about not feeling a grandmotherly connection. Also, could they be using my daughter as a cash cow to finance their dream? I’m confused and losing sleep. Do I keep my mouth shut or give my honest opinion when asked? I love my daughter dearly and would hate to drive a wedge between us.
Struggling Mom: I have a bunch of opinions right now, and I doubt “wouldn’t feel like a real grandmother” would be foremost among them if I were in your position. Though none of us knows how we will feel until we get to a situation ourselves.
This I do know: Your daughter’s domestic arrangements are not for you (or me) to fix for her, and your feelings are not for your daughter to fix for you.
Some part of your daughter’s life will always confuse you — that’s in a kid’s job description. But you can go a long way toward easing your mind if you keep those basic lines clear. Her home life is hers, and your feelings are yours.
Your responses so far to her news have blurred these lines. (In a food-processor kind of way.) Unless she asked your opinion, your warnings and concerns were incursions into her business. Well-meaning, for sure, but incursions nonetheless. A would-be grandmother is no more entitled to weigh in on an adult’s family planning than anyone else.
Plus, um, the thing you carefully composed as, “Are you sure you’re ready for the big life changes?” always comes out as, “You shouldn’t have a baby!” Always. Ask anyone who has been on the receiving end.
Your daughter is still communicating with you after this, so that’s good. You two are strong, I’m guessing.
Meanwhile, it is not her job to make life choices that help her parent feel better. Adults get to have or not have children as they are able to and see fit to. If you want to feel like a grandmother, then make the best of the opportunities — the grandchildren — you’re given. What else can I say? What else can you do?
I don’t mean to sound unfeeling. As I said at the outset, I have plenty of thoughts of my own here; they’re simply not relevant to the math of the situation. Which is:
· Your daughter will do what your daughter will do.
· You do not have a meaningful say in what that is.
· Your choice is to embrace your daughter, as is, misgivings and all, and any baby if there ever is one, or to distance yourself.
· If this choice comes with feelings you feel unable to manage or contain, then don’t expect your daughter to help you with that. Seek help from outside your shared family circle.
· If she asks your advice on X, ask how she feels about X and proceed from there.
· And if you already feel more distant from your daughter than you would like, then now beats later as the time to try to remedy that.
You were right to make one point, even if she already knew it: lawyer. Laws and families are evolving. Plus, the wise leave neither their hearts nor their children’s custody to chance.
Last thing, for you: If you ever think there’s no place for you amid younger generations because they’ve changed too much, then the mistake is yours. Adapt, or don’t; not one digit of that math has changed.
Washington
Tracking crime in the DMV: Some areas see drop in violent crime, homicide
It is not the way any homicide squad wants to start an already busy new year.
Prince George’s County police Sunday were trying to figure out who was found dead in a car behind a strip center overnight and why. Police, who responded after a call about gun shots, told News4 they’re still searching for the most basic details.
It comes just a day after three people were shot and killed at a Temple Hills banquet hall early Saturday morning. Police told News4 that investigation is active and showing signs of promise.
But the busy start somewhat hides the bigger picture about crime in the area.
Despite the tough start to 2026, homicide in Prince George’s County was down 40% in 2025 percent compared to 2024, and violent crime on a whole was down 19%, both through mid-December according to Prince George’s County police.
In D.C. is a similar story.
“Now we have no crime in Washington, DC. We have no killing,” said President Donald Trump Saturday during a news conference about action in Venezuela.
While the crime rate is not nearly as good as Trump has repeatedly said, the District recorded five homicides in December and 126 in all of 2025. That’s down 32% over 2024. Violent crime is down 29%, according to D.C .police crime statistics.
In Fairfax, homicide is down 14% — but the county only had 12 total — and violent crime dropped 4%, according to the county’s online reporting.
Washington
Commanders vs. Eagles | How to watch, listen and live stream
Mariota, who is dealing with a cut on his throwing hand and a quad injury, was considered doubtful to play in Week 18, Quinn said earlier in the week, and has not practiced since sustaining his injuries. Josh Johnson is set to make his second start to close out the Commanders’ season.
Washington
Cowboys 2025 rookie report: Promise and problems against Washington
The Dallas Cowboys managed to scrape a win on Christmas Day against the Washington Commanders in a game that got close, closer than what some fans would have preferred. But how did the Cowboys rookie class perform during the divisional victory? Let’s take a look.
(Game stats- Snaps: 92, Pass Blocks: 49, Pressures: 1, Sacks: 2, Penalties: 1)
Booker turned in another heavy-workload performance against Washington on Christmas Day, playing all 92 offensive snaps and earning a 74.6 overall grade, one of the better marks on the Cowboys’ offense in the 30–23 win. Dallas leaned hard on the interior run game, piling up 211 rushing yards and repeatedly gashing the middle of the Commanders’ front. Booker was a big part of those double teams and combo blocks with Cooper Beebe, helping Malik Davis and Javonte Williams stay on schedule and letting Brian Schottenheimer live in fourth-and-short territory.
It wasn’t a clean day in protection for the unit as a whole. Dak Prescott was sacked six times and hit repeatedly, with rookie phenom Jer’Zhan Newton racking up three sacks and five QB hits as Washington generated 19 total pressures. Interior pressure was prominent in postgame breakdowns, so Booker clearly had some rough snaps dealing with Newton’s quickness and power on games and stunts, even if not every sack can be laid at his feet.
One blemish on his night was an early bad penalty flagged on Booker on the opening drive, which, paired with a sack, put the offense behind the chains before they worked their way back into scoring range. To his credit, the moment didn’t snowball. He settled in, and as the game wore on his physicality in the run game helped Dallas salt away clock on multiple long marches in the second half.
(Game stats- Snaps: 39, Total Tackles: 2, Pressures: 3, Sacks: 0, TFL: 0)
Ezeiruaku had one of his quietest games of the season against Washington, more solid in assignment than impactful on the stat sheet. He was on the field for just 26 defensive snaps off the edge and registered only one total tackle with zero sacks, zero tackles for loss, and one total pressure. With the Cowboys generating only two sacks and three quarterback hits as a team and still allowing 8.6 yards per play and 138 rushing yards on just 17 carries, this was clearly not a night where the front consistently lived in the Commanders’ backfield.
Through this week, PFF has Ezeiruaku at a 76.4 overall grade with 35 total pressures on 580 snaps, ranking him among the league’s better rookie edge defenders. Pre-game advanced scouting had highlighted his recent 25% pass-rush win rate and 12% pressure rate over the previous month, even though that stretch produced hits rather than sacks. Against Washington, that underlying disruption never really showed up in the box score. He finished the game in a low-impact role while others, notably Jadeveon Clowney and Quinnen Williams, handled the actual finishing on Josh Johnson.
(Game stats- Snaps: 42, Total Tackles: 6, PBU: 1, INT: 0, TD Allowed: 0, RTG Allowed: 109.7)
Revel’s Christmas Day against Washington was another bumpy outing in what has become a tough rookie year, and it ended in a way that almost certainly pushes his focus to 2026. PFF graded him at 50.1 overall, the third-worst mark on the Cowboys’ defense, with of 43.0 against the run, 33.5 in tackling and 59.4 in coverage. On the coverage side of things, he was targeted six times and allowed four catches for 84 yards, his second straight game giving up 80-plus yards, as Washington repeatedly found space on his side of the field. The tackling issues that have dogged him all season showed up again too, he’s now credited with eight missed tackles (18.6%) on the year, and open-field whiffs in this game turned short gains into bigger plays.
Midway through the second half he took a blow to the head, walked off slowly and did not return. Postgame reports confirmed he’s been placed in the concussion protocol, with the team acknowledging he faces an uphill battle to be cleared for Week 18. With only one game left and nothing to play for in the standings, there’s a good argument for Dallas to shut him down, effectively ending his rookie season so he can recover fully and attack 2026. That might be the wisest move given his backdrop coming off an ACL tear, missing the entire offseason program, camp, preseason and a big chunk of the regular season.
(Game stats- Snaps: 36, Total Tackles: 6 TFL: 0, Sacks: 0)
James finally looked like a real part of the defensive plan against Washington, not just a special-teams body. He played 36 defensive snaps, his heaviest load in weeks, and he responded with six total tackles, tied among Dallas’ leaders on the night. He didn’t register a sack, tackle for loss, or any takeaways, and he stayed out of the penalty column, so his stat line is all about volume rather than splash. The Commanders ran only 41 offensive plays but still churned out 138 rushing yards thanks in large part to Jacory Croskey-Merritt’s 72-yard touchdown. James spent most of the evening in clean-up mode by fitting inside runs, rallying to Johnson’s checkdowns and helping get bodies on the ground after chunk gains rather than creating those big negative plays himself.
It’s fair to be harsh on the linebacker group as a whole, especially Kenneth Murray, and calling the heavy dose of Murray and James ugly against the run is also a fair criticism as Washington found creases between the tackles. On film, it’s a mixed bag for James, he was active and around the ball, but there were snaps where he got caught in traffic or arrived a beat late on cutbacks, contributing to a run defense that gave up far too much on a low play count. At the same time, this game underlined why Dallas has been nudging his role upward as he handled a starter-level snap share without blowing assignments, and his six stops push his season totals into genuine starter territory.
The best way to call James’ game is it was a busy but imperfect outing. James was heavily involved, did enough to look like a viable long-term piece, but he was also part of a front seven that made Washington’s ground game look more efficient than it should have.
(Game stats- Snaps: 18, Total Tackles: 1
*Snap count are all special team snaps*
Clark’s Christmas Day against Washington was another quiet but functional special-teams outing. He didn’t log any defensive snaps, with his entire workload coming in the kicking game as a core coverage and return-unit player. On those snaps he made one tackle and didn’t factor into any of the big swings. For a depth safety in his role, that kind of you didn’t notice him performance is basically neutral. He did his assignment work on special teams, avoided hurting the Cowboys in a game where field position and explosive runs were already a problem, but didn’t provide the kind of momentum-changing play that would jump off the tape going into 2026.
(Game stats- Snaps: 15, Total Tackles: 0)
*Snap count include special team snaps*
Bridges played almost entirely on special teams, with just a tiny glimpse of him on defense. He logged the bulk of his work on the kicking units, running lanes, taking on blocks and doing the dirty work that doesn’t show up much in the box score but matters for field position and consistency. On defense he saw only two snaps, essentially a cameo as an emergency outside corner rather than a true part of the game plan, and he didn’t figure in any major targets or tackles on those plays. Bridges handled his special-teams role and gave Dallas a reliable back-end option without ever having the kind of exposure that would define the game one way or the other.
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