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Advice | Carolyn Hax: How to revive a friendship killed by a hostile text?

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2 years ago

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: How to revive a friendship killed by a hostile text?


Adapted from an online discussion.

Dear Carolyn: Can you suggest a way to try to save a friendship that I care about, even though my friend basically dumped me via text message? I hate text for communication about feelings and relationships. She even knew that. Just call me!

In her out-of-the-blue and, as it turns out, final text message to me, she basically pooped on my lap and ran away. I tried calling her immediately to clarify, but she did not pick up.

I miss her, and I have no idea why she did that. It’s a really hurtful way to end a friendship, where I don’t even get to talk and find out what’s really going on. Would you try another way?

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Ghosted: No, I wouldn’t. Her message is clear, and it consists both of the message itself and of its delivery method. By your description, she seems to have chosen deliberately to drop it and hide where you can’t reach her to respond.

It’s a rotten thing to do to a friend. It’s not okay.

But it is also, again, clear. So, your continuing to try to give your side of the story or extract hers would cross a boundary. Accept the verdict, crappy as it is, and understand the friend and friendship weren’t as healthy as you thought.

Re: Ghosted: Why is a healthy withdrawal after consistent boundary violations considered “ghosting” or “canceling”? If you think about whether the person whose attention you feel entitled to has any interest at all in interacting with you, then you may be able to solve your mystery.

Anonymous: I will be happy never to see “cancel”-anything again, plus true “ghosting” would have been silence without even the text.

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And, as I said, further pursuit of this friend would be to violate the friend’s clear boundary.

But: There’s nothing in the letter that says Ghosted made “consistent boundary violations.”

When there is an established friendship, and there isn’t abuse, I think it’s still lousy to say something bad about someone and not allow them any rebuttal.

Other readers’ thoughts:

· I also had someone do this. Not only would I not advise reaching out further, but I think you also have to question the idea that a conversation would have gone any better. Someone who would do this is not someone with whom you’re going to have a satisfying conversation or reach a satisfying resolution. She may even have done you a favor with the text ghosting.

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· I ended a long friendship by “ghosting” the other party after realizing the extent of their emotional manipulation of me. It was the only way I could do it without them trying to manipulate me again.

I think about how much better off I am with that person no longer in my life. It might sound harsh, but I did it for me, and I’m proud of doing what’s best for me, even if some people think I owed it to them to tell them why I stopped talking to them.

· The text wasn’t your first clue. Trust me: The signals were there before. You just didn’t see them. Accept the text as the only way to get through to you.

· I agree, the text breakup probably didn’t come out of nowhere — but I disagree that it means Ghosted was somehow at fault and that this was the “only way” to get through. I don’t think we know enough to make that judgment.



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Social media reacts to former BYU star AJ Dybantsa going No. 1 in 2026 NBA draft

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4 hours ago

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June 23, 2026

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Social media reacts to former BYU star AJ Dybantsa going No. 1 in 2026 NBA draft


Former BYU basketball star AJ Dybantsa fulfilled his dream of going No. 1 overall in the 2026 NBA draft.

The Washington Wizards selected Dybantsa with the first pick.

Immediately after the pick, reactions poured in on social media about the Wizards drafting Dybantsa.

Social media reactions to the Washington Wizards selecting BYU star AJ Dybantsa

Mitch Harper is a BYU Insider for KSL and hosts the Cougar Tracks Podcast daily on KSL Sports YouTube and KSL NewsRadio (SUBSCRIBE). Harper also co-hosts Cougar Sports Saturday (12–3 p.m.) on KSL NewsRadio.

Follow Mitch’s coverage of BYU athletics in the Big 12 Conference on X (formerly Twitter) and Instagram: @Mitch_Harper.

Want more coverage of BYU sports? Take us with you wherever you go.

Download the new and improved KSL Sports app from Utah’s sports leader. Allows you to stream live radio and video, keeping you up to date on all your favorite teams.

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Washington Commanders announce 2026 training camp schedule

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15 hours ago

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June 23, 2026

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Washington Commanders announce 2026 training camp schedule


ASHBURN, Va. – The Washington Commanders have released their 2026 Training Camp schedule, with eleven open practices between August 1 and August 19, including five open to all fans and six reserved for season ticket members.

For the fifth straight year, training camp will take place at the team’s football operations headquarters in Ashburn, Virginia. 

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Open practices for all fans are scheduled for August 1, August 7, August 8, August 18 and August 19.

 Season ticket member practices will be held August 3, 4, 5, 10, 11 and 12. 

All sessions begin at 8:30 a.m., with gates opening at 7:30 a.m.

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Fans can claim free tickets beginning June 23 at 10 a.m. General admission fans may request up to six tickets and one parking pass for a single day of camp. Season ticket members can claim tickets for two member‑exclusive days in addition to one general admission day. All parking will be on site at the BigBear.ai Performance Center and requires a parking pass.

The team plans several themed events throughout camp, including Back Together Weekend on August 1, Military Appreciation Day on August 7 and Kids Day on August 8. Local youth football and community groups will also be hosted throughout the summer.

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For more information visit the Washington Commanders online.

The Source: Information in this article comes from the Washington Commanders.

SportsWashington CommandersWashington, D.C.
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Algae-filled Washington pool to be drained for repairs after US$14.7 million renovation

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1 day ago

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June 23, 2026

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Algae-filled Washington pool to be drained for repairs after US.7 million renovation


The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool on Washington’s National Mall is set to be drained again for repairs after algae and peeling paint appeared just weeks after a US$14.7 million renovation, while President Donald Trump threatened prison time for anyone caught ‌damaging the pool.

The DC Water authority issued a permit to drain the 609-metre rectangular pool, it said on Monday, while the repair company said it would fix the pool as part of its warranty.

Peeling paint and algae growth have been visible in the pool since soon after Trump declared the renovation project complete on June 6. Critics have raised concerns about the no-bid contract to recoat the pool before the ⁠nation’s 250th anniversary celebrations next month, as well as for the ducks that use its water. Workers from the National Park Service earlier this ‌week poured hydrogen peroxide into the pool to combat the algae.

Trump, without evidence, has blamed vandals for the state of the landmark. On Monday, he echoed a weekend threat ‌by US Attorney Jeanine Pirro to prosecute people accused of attempting to destroy the pool.

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“Please remember that there is ⁠a 10-year prison sentence for the ⁠destruction, or even the attempted destruction, of such things – Which will be fully enforced!” Trump earlier wrote in a social media post. Destruction of federal property can ‌carry a maximum prison sentence of 10 years.

It was not immediately apparent what criminal or civil violation someone might commit reaching into the pool.



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