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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom worries about daughter’s family plans with polyamorous couple

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Mom worries about daughter’s family plans with polyamorous couple


Dear Carolyn: For the last three years, my adult daughter has been in a polyamorous relationship with a married couple. They live in another state, and I’ve met the couple only twice. I like the wife more than the husband. She’s similar to my daughter. Both women hold well-paying jobs with potential for advancement. The husband puts in his 40 hours at a mediocre job, then plays video games while his wife and my daughter take care of the house.

But here’s where things have gotten really difficult for me. The couple recently decided to have a baby. My daughter announced this by telling me out of the blue, “You could be a grandmother soon.” I hate to be shallow, but any baby this couple has will not feel like my grandchild.

After I processed the information for a few days, my daughter and I had a long talk. I expressed my feelings, that the baby would have two sets of doting biological grandparents and I would just be some woman they saw every once in a while. I also asked my daughter if she was ready for the many changes a baby would make to their lives.

My daughter said she understood. Well, suddenly, she tells me she will adopt the baby as a “third parent.” (The wife is not yet pregnant.) I asked her if she fully understood all that adoption entailed. If she and the couple ever broke up, she would still be the child’s legal parent. I asked her why she felt the need to adopt the child and advised her to see an attorney before making any decision.

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I’m worried she’s planning to adopt because of my remark about not feeling a grandmotherly connection. Also, could they be using my daughter as a cash cow to finance their dream? I’m confused and losing sleep. Do I keep my mouth shut or give my honest opinion when asked? I love my daughter dearly and would hate to drive a wedge between us.

Struggling Mom: I have a bunch of opinions right now, and I doubt “wouldn’t feel like a real grandmother” would be foremost among them if I were in your position. Though none of us knows how we will feel until we get to a situation ourselves.

This I do know: Your daughter’s domestic arrangements are not for you (or me) to fix for her, and your feelings are not for your daughter to fix for you.

Some part of your daughter’s life will always confuse you — that’s in a kid’s job description. But you can go a long way toward easing your mind if you keep those basic lines clear. Her home life is hers, and your feelings are yours.

Your responses so far to her news have blurred these lines. (In a food-processor kind of way.) Unless she asked your opinion, your warnings and concerns were incursions into her business. Well-meaning, for sure, but incursions nonetheless. A would-be grandmother is no more entitled to weigh in on an adult’s family planning than anyone else.

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Plus, um, the thing you carefully composed as, “Are you sure you’re ready for the big life changes?” always comes out as, “You shouldn’t have a baby!” Always. Ask anyone who has been on the receiving end.

Your daughter is still communicating with you after this, so that’s good. You two are strong, I’m guessing.

Meanwhile, it is not her job to make life choices that help her parent feel better. Adults get to have or not have children as they are able to and see fit to. If you want to feel like a grandmother, then make the best of the opportunities — the grandchildren — you’re given. What else can I say? What else can you do?

I don’t mean to sound unfeeling. As I said at the outset, I have plenty of thoughts of my own here; they’re simply not relevant to the math of the situation. Which is:

· Your daughter will do what your daughter will do.

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· You do not have a meaningful say in what that is.

· Your choice is to embrace your daughter, as is, misgivings and all, and any baby if there ever is one, or to distance yourself.

· If this choice comes with feelings you feel unable to manage or contain, then don’t expect your daughter to help you with that. Seek help from outside your shared family circle.

· If she asks your advice on X, ask how she feels about X and proceed from there.

· And if you already feel more distant from your daughter than you would like, then now beats later as the time to try to remedy that.

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You were right to make one point, even if she already knew it: lawyer. Laws and families are evolving. Plus, the wise leave neither their hearts nor their children’s custody to chance.

Last thing, for you: If you ever think there’s no place for you amid younger generations because they’ve changed too much, then the mistake is yours. Adapt, or don’t; not one digit of that math has changed.



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US Air Force helicopter makes precautionary landing in Washington

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US Air Force helicopter makes precautionary landing in Washington


Diyar Guldogan

14 July 2026Update: 14 July 2026

A US Air Force helicopter made a precautionary landing in northwest Washington, DC late Monday, local media reported.

The incident occurred at approximately 9.25 p.m. (0125GMT Tuesday) when a UH-1N Huey helicopter assigned to the 1st Helicopter Squadron at Joint Base Andrews, Maryland landed along Foxhall Road near Whitehaven Parkway NW, close to the Georgetown Reservoir.

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All four crew members who were on board are safe, according to media reports.

Maintenance personnel and law enforcement officials remained at the scene into the early hours of Tuesday as authorities assessed the aircraft and investigated the circumstances surrounding the landing.



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What is the Farmer’s Almanac fall forecast for the Washington DC area?

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What is the Farmer’s Almanac fall forecast for the Washington DC area?


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It may be the middle of July, but the Old Farmer’s Almanac is already looking ahead to the fall with cooler temperatures ahead.

The Almanac, which has been one of the most trusted weather prediction sources for more than two centuries, recently released its fall forecast, showing a wide range of weather throughout the United States.

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But what about in the Washington DC region? Here’s what the Almanac says.

What is the fall weather forecast in the Washington DC area?

DC sits along the Almanac’s Atlantic Corridor, and that region should expect a “cool, dry” fall, according to the forecast.

“Expect cooler and wetter conditions than usual this fall,” the Old Farmer’s Almanac says. “Below average temperatures are forecast, along with an uptick in precipitation over traditional averages.”

Last year, DC received 6.53 inches of rain during September, October and November — significantly lower than the city’s 30-year average of 10.50 inches, according to the National Weather Service.

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September’s average temperature was 72.2 degrees, with October at 60.3 and November at 49.9 degrees. The season had an average temperature of 60.8 degrees, slightly below the 30-year average of 61.0 degrees.

What does the Farmer’s Almanac say about winter in Washington DC?

In its long-range forecast, the Almanac forecasts above average temperatures this winter in DC with snowfall below normal.

“The coldest periods will occur in mid- to late-December and early and late January,” it says. “The snowiest periods will be in late December, early January, and late February.”

The Old Farmer’s Almanac says it is 80% accurate, but a 2017 University of Illinois study found it to be just 52% accurate.

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Washington Syrah Is the State’s Best-Kept Secret

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Washington Syrah Is the State’s Best-Kept Secret


This story is from an installment of The Oeno Files, our weekly insider newsletter to the world of fine wine. Sign up here.

While Washington State has become well known for its Cabernet Sauvignon and Bordeaux-style blends in recent years, it is also home to many producers making outstanding Syrah. With just a 40-year history of cultivation in the state, Syrah is now the second most-produced red wine there as well as its best-kept secret. First planted in Washington in 1986, some early releases were treated like Cabernet Sauvignon with a lot of new oak and one-size-fits-all production method, but over time a broad spectrum of expressions has arisen among the state’s Syrahs.

Elsewhere in the U.S.A. it might seem like wineries are holding back the most exciting bottles for their neighbors, but Washington Syrah is more widely available than one might think, especially on restaurant tables. Landry’s Inc.—which operates more than 500 restaurants across the country including steakhouses such as Morton’s, Del Frisco’s, and the Palm—serves more than a dozen Washington Syrahs and a wide range of Syrah blends from the state. Scott Tarwater, corporate director of wine and special events, describes Washington Syrah as “a rugged, mountain man, unshaven, but worldly, down to earth, and plain spoken.” While he enjoys it for its savory character, he also likes that it is full of jammy notes such as boysenberry, black raspberry, and pomegranate alongside hints of ripened olives and pipe tobacco.

One of the drivers of quality in the last 20 years is the adoption of Old World techniques like stem inclusion and the use of concrete vessels, large‑format oak casks, and neutral oak barrels to let the fruit do the talking. Improved vineyard techniques have allowed for site expression to become clearer as well, with the Rocks District and Royal Slope showing savory and mineral characteristics, Red Mountain and Horse Heaven Hills bringing out more power and ripeness, and Yakima Valley showcasing a mix of the two styles.

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Matt Reynvaan, founder and winemaker of R|A Family Wines, makes his JDA Project Syrah from a vineyard in the Rocks District that is defined by ancient riverbed soils layered with dense cobblestone. “These stones retain and radiate heat, lending intensity, structure, and unmistakable minerality to the fruit,” he explains. Replanted in 2020, the vineyard was designed with clonal diversity and precision farming practices tailored block by block. “Syrah is interplanted with small amounts of Viognier, and each section contributes a unique dimension, from power and structure to elegance and purity, resulting in a wine that is both complex and site driven,” Reynvaan says.

DeLille’s vineyards

DeLille

At Two Vintners, winemaker and partner Morgan Lee produces four different Syrahs including a Columbia Valley cuvée, a Rocks District bottling and single-vineyard expressions from Horse Heaven Hills and Yakima Valley, working with 13 distinct vineyards across six AVAs. “Each patch of dirt puts a stamp of individuality on the wine,” he says. “The beauty of Syrah is that it absorbs its surroundings like nothing else. It is a chameleon. It is so exciting to taste these individual parcels side by side and see how thrillingly different they are from one another.” Leaning heavily into a Northern Rhône style in his vineyard sourcing, Lee also employs Rhône techniques like native-yeast fermentation and whole-cluster pressing.

Washington’s first Syrah was planted in the Red Willow Vineyard in the foothills of the Cascades in the far northwest portion of the Yakima Valley by Mike Sauer in 1986, and winemaker Nick Bernstein utilizes fruit from that original block for DeLille Red Willow Syrah. “The Syrah here thrives on steep slopes of poor volcanic soils and creates powerful wine with deep concentration,” Bernstein says. In addition to that and DeLille’s Grand Ciel estate vineyard on Red Mountain, Bernstein also buys fruit from Boushey Vineyard, whose proprietor Dick Boushey has been a prominent grower for 45 years. This cooler site allows for more hang time, flavor development, and acid retention, leading to an earthier Syrah with dark fruit notes.

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The wide diversity of Syrah can be seen in Liminal’s two offerings, High Canyon Syrah and Block 16 Syrah, which come from blocks in the WeatherEye Vineyard in the Red Mountain AVA that are about 500 yards apart but differ in aspect, elevation, and clonal selection. Liminal winemaker and partner Chris Peterson says the High Canyon block has elements of black fruits, minerals, and cured olive that remind him of Côte-Rôtie. “This is why we co-ferment with about 4 percent Viognier and choose the specific barrels to age it in and accentuate these aspects,” he explains. Meanwhile, the Block 16 exhibits the “wild herb, cured meats, and firm structure” characteristics that recall Cornas, so he ages it in 500-liter puncheons, with a style of new barrel “that shows off this more feral side.”

One of the newest additions to the Evergreen State scene is Dossier Wine Collective, whose head winemaker Billo Naravane crafts its flagship Syrah with an eye on the Northern Rhône, especially Côte-Rôtie and Cornas. Sourced from three vineyards, it offers the aromatic elegance and finesse of Côte-Rôtie alongside the structure, focus, and depth of Cornas. “Our use of concrete during fermentation is intentional. Concrete preserves purity and freshness while lending the wine a tighter, more focused profile, a hallmark we admire in many traditional Northern Rhône Syrahs,” Naravane says.

On the east coast, diners at JF Restaurant’s eateries can enjoy Syrah from Walla Walla and Columbia Valley. Beverage director and partner Amy Racine tells clients unfamiliar with the style that “Washington Syrah is a crossover between the States and Rhône Valley. It has a savory, peppery backbone similar to the northern Rhône and a ripe and juicy fruit you can find in the States.” Calling it “a category that rewards curiosity,” she tells Robb Report, “Most guests come in with a fixed idea of what Syrah is supposed to taste like, usually a Rhône reference point, and Washington Syrah surprises them by being a little familiar yet entirely its own thing.”


Do you want access to rare and outstanding reds from Napa Valley? Join the Robb Report 672 Wine Club today.





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