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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Friend with unsavory kitchen habits insists on cooking

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Advice | Carolyn Hax: Friend with unsavory kitchen habits insists on cooking


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Expensive Carolyn: We’ve a circle of fine pals, however there may be one couple particularly, “Sally” and “Ed,” with whom we now have all the time spent a great deal of time.

At any time when we make a plan with them to exit to eat, a deal with I look ahead to, invariably Sally calls the day of and says, “Come right here for dinner. Ed says he’s going to prepare dinner.” Ed just isn’t a nasty prepare dinner, however he makes use of a great deal of cream, butter and salt, and he and Sally each have some culinary habits that make me cringe, like serving meals utilizing their fingers and licking them in between.

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We wish to see them, so I attempt to let it go. However it doesn’t matter what the plan is, until it’s coming to our home, Sally will say on the eleventh hour, “Ed goes to prepare dinner.” Typically, we now have seemed ahead to making an attempt a brand new restaurant, or getting out, or simply having the ability to select what we eat. However as a substitute of asking, Ed makes a unilateral resolution, conveyed by his spouse, and we’re pressured to conform or appear ungracious and threat offending them.

I don’t suppose it’s a price problem they usually don’t do that solely to us. How would you deal with this?

Consuming at Me: Till I’m within the second myself, I can solely speculate. Only for the finger-licking alone, although, egad, I wish to say I’d decline to go to their home at any time when conceivably potential.

And since I agree that shut pals deserve particular care and since cooking is an act of affection, I’d additionally attempt for a complimentary no. “You already know we love you, and Ed’s cooking, however we had been ______” — perhaps “excited to get out” or “wanting ahead to this new place” or “craving [food from the restaurant in question].”

Loving your mates and having company along with your dinner plans usually are not mutually unique. “If you happen to’re not up for it, we perceive — rain examine?” Carried out. Perhaps not each time, however definitely on the nights you’re excited in your plans. Cheap and honest.

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Any probability Sally or Ed has anxiousness, digestive or continence points, listening to loss …? Cash isn’t the one motive individuals keep dwelling. Good pals, too, can word the sample and ask: “You’re opting out of eating places currently. Something you need us to know?”

Carolyn: We’ve a trip property that my sister and her husband and youngsters all use, and my brother and I wish to promote. It will trigger a rift within the household I’m certain, however my brother and I and our youngsters haven’t any use for the place anymore. I’ve already mentioned it together with her, and her husband walks out of the room, and she or he insists they will’t afford to purchase us out — though they stay in a $500,000 home, and his household additionally owns one other trip property (farther away).

Do I cease making an attempt to debate this with my sister, and simply converse to a lawyer? I’m bored with coping with this.

— Fed Up With Being the Ignored Youthful Sister

Fed Up With Being the Ignored Youthful Sister: Higher math will in all probability get you a greater reply.

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The worth of the house they personal says little to nothing about what they will afford. They might earn lower than you suppose and owe extra, simply. That his household has one other property can also be not related since you don’t get to evaluate their high quality of life.

“Ignored youthful sister” fatigue is irrelevant, too. I can’t see any method an historic birth-order grudge makes this transaction smoother.

Right here’s your math: You and your brother don’t need the home and might ask the courts to drive a sale. You additionally don’t have to train that energy or name attorneys to have leverage.

So, first: Ensure that your sister feels heard. Mirror her argument again to her. Second, inform her — you or your brother or each of you, choose one of the best messenger — that you simply sympathize, need the sale regardless, would reasonably not need to drive it, and hope she’ll conform to the significantly better choice of going through the inevitable as a staff.

Expensive Carolyn: Assist me settle this debate: My pal says that individuals infrequently change and we now have to only settle for or detach from them.

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I feel individuals can change.

B.: I feel individuals can change and we nonetheless have to only settle for or detach from them.

As a result of typically they don’t change.

Plus, whether or not they do or not isn’t as much as us anyway. They’ll or received’t beneath the affect of time, circumstance, setting, genetics, alternative, and no matter else.

Besides in restricted instances — restoration, for instance — hovering round ready for individuals to enhance is sort of patronizing and icky, too. Disrespectful.

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Like me or not, I don’t care, however don’t deal with me as a undertaking.

Having somebody hovering round ready for me to enhance myself to their liking feels like a tough no-thanks.

So I don’t know in whose favor I’m settling this debate, however you each win when you don’t spend your time with individuals hoping they’ll grow to be another person. Although they could. Whether or not anybody likes it or not.



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Washington

Jayden Daniels Will Keep Commanders Competitive vs. Lions

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Jayden Daniels Will Keep Commanders Competitive vs. Lions


The Washington Commanders have made many changes to go from a four-win team to three wins away from winning the Super Bowl, but none have been more impactful than drafting quarterback Jayden Daniels with the No. 2 overall pick.

Daniels may be a rookie, but he plays like an established veteran. That’s why Bleacher Report writer Maurice Moton believes that the Commanders will be competitive this weekend against the 15-2 Detroit Lions in the Divisional Round.

“The Commanders slowed down the Buccaneers’ third-ranked offense in a road victory last week, and Daniels helped position them to kick the game-winning field,” Moton writes.

“Head coach Dan Quinn and coordinator Joe Whitt have molded the team’s defense into a respectable unit throughout the season. In clutch moments, Daniels is far beyond his years.

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“Washington won’t shut down the Lions offense, but along with Daniels, it can do enough to keep the score margin in the single digits.”

The Commanders are still underdogs since the Lions have arguably been the best team in the NFL this season, but Daniels won’t allow Washington to fold. He hasn’t done so yet, so there’s no reason why it would happen now.

Kickoff between the Commanders and Lions is scheduled for tomorrow at 8 p.m. ET.

Stick with CommanderGameday and the Locked On Commanders podcast for more FREE coverage of the Washington Commanders throughout the 2024 season.

• Commanders Preparing for Lions OC Ben Johnson Who Will ‘Test Your Discipline’

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• Dan Quinn Details Commanders Rookie’s Performance in Playoff Game, He Was Impressed

• What Lions’ Amon-Ra St. Brown Said About Commanders WR, It’s Come Full Circle

• Analyst Predicts Commanders Upset vs. Lions



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George Washington stays unbeaten with 68-41 victory at Capital – WV MetroNews

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George Washington stays unbeaten with 68-41 victory at Capital – WV MetroNews


CHARLESTON, W.Va. — A Capital team short on experience and playing for the first time since New Year’s Eve faced quite a challenge Thursday night as it welcomed one of the state’s most polished teams in nearby rival George Washington.

The Patriots showed no sign of letting a nearby rival hang around and continued their stellar start to the season by never trailing in a resounding 68-41 victory.

“Shooting takes pressure off how we have to defend, but our defense has been the key to everything we’ve done to this point,” veteran GW head coach Rick Greene said.

The result prolongs GW’s unbeaten start to the season through at least its first eight games.

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This one was never in doubt as the Patriots’ combination of efficient offense and lockdown defense left the Cougars playing catch-up throughout.

GW’s Chuck Kelley accounted for the game’s first two field goals and scored his team’s first six points, before Gale Lamb got in on the action and went on a personal 7-0 run that upped the Patriot lead to 14-4.

David Robinson, who led Capital with 17 points, scored five in the opening frame to keep his team within striking distance as it faced a 14-7 deficit entering the second.

After Capital’s Grant Barclay provided a bucket to start the second quarter, it was all GW the remainder of the opening half.

Lamb hit a pair of three-pointers around a Kelley transition layup, forcing the Cougars to call timeout 5:05 before halftime as they trailed 22-9.

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At that point, Lamb was 5 for 5 with 14 points.

“He didn’t take a shot he couldn’t hit,” Greene said. “He is a really good shooter and he’s shooting with a lot of confidence. The kids want him to shoot the ball, so if you’re a shooter and you know your teammates want you to shoot it, it gives you that little bit of freedom and relaxation.”

Out of the break in the action, GW’s Noah Lewis scored inside twice, with teammate Sai’Vyon Brown knocking down a three in between. It was 29-9 at that point, and Kelley accounted for the final points of the half on a follow-up basket to send the visitors to the locker room with a commanding 33-11 advantage.

While Lamb and Kelley were both 5 for 5 with 24 combined points through two quarters, the Cougars were shooting 5 for 16 and being out-rebounded, 15-5.

“The guys coming off the bench are trying to match the defensive intensity of the first five, and that’s making us really good,” Greene said.

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Kelley picked up where he left off to start the second half, scoring five points over the first 1:03.

Capital (2-4) upped the pace itself and Trevaun Tyson was the main beneficiary, scoring all nine of his points in the third quarter.

The Cougars doubled the first-half field goal total in the third period alone, making 10-of-15 shots to keep pace with the Patriots for that 8-minute stretch.

“It was a nice conversation at halftime,” Capital head coach Cookie Miller said. “We got them going a little bit and we have to come out like that at the beginning. It was a rough 18 days, but that’s not excuse. We had great practices for us to give that showing, but at the end of the day, hats off to them for knowing their plays and getting into things. They’ve been together for a long time.”

Unfortunately for Miller’s team, Lamb maintained his efficient play and scored nine points in the frame to spark GW’s 22-point quarter.

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That allowed the Patriots to lead 55-32 entering the fourth, and they cruised from there.

GW made 25-of-44 shots to shoot better than 56 percent. Lamb led all players with 24 points and made 7-of-8 shots. Kelley was also 7 for 8 and scored 15.

Noah Lewis chipped in with seven points and a game-high 10 rebounds, while Jeff Harris added five points and eight boards. That duo was instrumental in allowing GW to finish with a convincing 36-16 rebounding edge.

Tyson had half of his team’s boards. 

The Cougars made 18-of-45 shots, but only one three-pointer to the Patriots’ five.

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“Those guys have been together for a long time. Kudos to them,” Miller said. “Greene has them moving and doing what they’re supposed to doing. We’re trying to get on their level and soon we will be on their level.”



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Lawmakers again trying to lower legal alcohol limit for drivers in Washington • Washington State Standard

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Lawmakers again trying to lower legal alcohol limit for drivers in Washington • Washington State Standard


A measure to lower the legal limit for drunk driving in Washington cleared its first legislative hurdle Thursday.

If passed, Washington would join Utah as the only state with a 0.05% blood alcohol concentration limit. Other states have considered similar legislation, but haven’t passed it.

Utah made the move in 2018. The state was also the first to lower the limit from 0.1% to 0.08% in the 1980s.

After the switch from 0.08% to 0.05%, Utah saw a 20% drop in fatal crashes, but that figure crept back up during the COVID-19 pandemic, in line with national trends.

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The bill in Washington is sponsored by Sen. John Lovick, D-Mill Creek. Lovick was a longtime Washington State Patrol trooper before serving as Snohomish County sheriff. 

“I see driving behavior beyond anything I could have imagined when I started as a state trooper,” Lovick told the Senate Law & Justice Committee this week. “Drivers are speeding, following too close, passing on the shoulders, running red lights, driving aggressively. Drunk drivers have made our communities unsafe.”

Opponents argue the legislation, Senate Bill 5067, would elevate the liability risk for bars and other establishments that sell alcohol.

Traffic deaths have risen rapidly in recent years, from 538 in 2019 to 809 in 2023, according to the Washington Traffic Safety Commission. The 2023 figure was the most deaths on Washington roads since 1990.

Of those 809 deaths, impaired drivers were involved in about half.

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Compared to those driving sober, drivers with a blood alcohol concentration over 0.05% are twice as likely to crash, said Mark McKechnie, the director of external relations for the traffic safety commission. When that rises to 0.07%, the risk triples.

Early estimates for the first half of 2024 showed a marked decline in deaths on Washington roads, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.

The lower legal limit would take effect July 1, 2026. 

As part of the legislation, the Washington Traffic Safety Commission would run a campaign to inform the public of the new legal limit. The Washington State Institute for Public Policy would have to evaluate the impacts of the new law in a report submitted to the Legislature.

By way of background

Lovick and others have tried repeatedly in recent years to lower the legal limit. The measure has never reached the Senate floor.

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Last year, one of the proposal’s chief backers, Sen. Marko Liias, D-Edmonds, expressed frustration after the Senate passed over his drunk driving bill and instead took up legislation to solidify “The Evergreen State” as Washington’s official nickname.

Experts have said consuming a beer or a glass of wine with dinner wouldn’t land drivers above the lowered legal limit.

Two hours after his first drink, a 180-pound man would reach 0.05% after drinking three beers or three glasses of wine. The same is true after two hours for a 140-pound woman, after two beers or glasses of wine.

Worldwide, more than 100 countries have legal limits of 0.05% or lower. 

The concerns

As in years past, hospitality industry groups oppose the legislation. They have argued the proposal could hurt bars and other establishments that rely on alcohol sales to stay afloat.

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Julia Gorton, a lobbyist for the Washington Hospitality Association, noted it’s already illegal to drive with a 0.05% blood alcohol concentration if officers see clear signs of impairment.

This legislation “will impact those who decide to stop drinking before they are impaired,” she said. “These are individuals choosing to behave responsibly, who will now be subject to the strongest and strictest DUI penalties in the country.”

The Washington Wine Institute’s Executive Director Josh McDonald said it would be hard for servers to identify impairment at the lower legal limit so they could cut off service.

Jason Lantz, of the Washington Association of Criminal Defense Lawyers, noted Colorado and New York also have 0.05% limits, but violations at that level come with lower penalties.

He recommended a similar two-tier system, with the 0.05% limit considered “driving after consumption” instead of driving under the influence.

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Amy Freedheim, the chair of the Felony Traffic Unit in the King County prosecutor’s office, tried to assuage concerns. She argued the lower limit wouldn’t lead to more arrests or lawsuits against bars held liable for crashes caused by impaired drivers.

On Thursday, Sen. Phil Fortunato, R-Auburn, offered an amendment to Lovick’s bill, lowering a blood alcohol concentration limit already in state law that brings stiffer penalties. The amendment would have dropped the limit from 0.15% to 0.12%. 

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Penalties for first-time offenders at the higher threshold include a minimum $500 fine and at least two days in jail, 30 days of electronic home monitoring or a 120-day 24/7 sobriety program.

Below the 0.15% level, drunk driving penalties drop to a minimum fine of $350 and at least one day in jail, 15 days of electronic home monitoring or a 90-day sobriety program.

“Right now you go from .08 to .15. There’s nothing in the middle,” Fortunato said.

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Sen. Manka Dhingra, D-Redmond, said she didn’t disagree with Fortunato’s change, but recognized the political reality for the proposal.

“I think it has been very challenging to get this bill out of the Senate with even the decrease to .05,” she said. “Let’s try to focus on getting the limit to .05, and then let’s continue working toward making sure that we are addressing the penalties.”

The committee approved Lovick’s proposal without Fortunato’s amendment. 

The House version of the bill is set for a committee hearing Tuesday.

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