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Neko Case Has Sung Hard Truths. Now She’s Telling Hers in a Memoir.

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Neko Case Has Sung Hard Truths. Now She’s Telling Hers in a Memoir.

One morning, when she was about 7 years old, Neko Case stood on her front porch, closed her eyes and wished with all her might to see a horse.

It was a tall order. She and her parents lived in the coastal city of Bellingham, Wash., and none of their neighbors were equestrians. But, as the musician recalls in her new memoir, “The Harder I Fight the More I Love You,” the young Case “clench-focused as hard as I could,” and when she opened her eyes something incredible had happened: Two gorgeous horses, ridden by two girls, came clomping directly toward her. In the midst of a difficult childhood, this stands out as one fleeting moment when she believed irrefutably in miracles, fairy tales and the possibility that good things could happen to her.

“At 52 years old,” she writes, “I can still see the horses clear as day.”

A cult-favorite singer-songwriter with a gale-force voice and a spiky, irreverent personality, Case has been releasing acclaimed solo and collaborative albums for nearly three decades, and has built an adoring fan base. But readers don’t need to be familiar with her music to be moved by her raw, unflinching memoir, which chronicles her impoverished and at times surreal upbringing as well as her long journey toward self-confidence. It’s a book that mixes defiant humor with an unsentimental resilience that recalls Cheryl Strayed.

“I wasn’t going to go tabloid,” Case said with a dry shrug, sitting in a booth at the Cosmic Diner in Manhattan on a recent, chilly Saturday morning. “I never had sex with famous people, so.”

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Still, the book depicts Case’s early life as a minefield of emotional trauma. In a phone interview, A.C. Newman, her longtime bandmate in the power-pop group the New Pornographers, recalled a mutual friend once marveling of Case, “For her to achieve what she’s done, considering where she came from, it’s like winning a marathon with one leg.”

At the diner, Case, now 54, wore a dark-blue button-down, and her predominantly gray mane was skunked with a streak of flaming auburn. At one point she interrupted herself to look — respectfully — at a neighboring table’s breakfast order. “That’s a good-looking pancake,” she said. “I don’t want to stare a hole in their pancakes, but wow.”

Case has lately become a regular at this Midtown restaurant, splitting her time between New York and her Vermont home because of another exciting project she’s working on nearby: She is collaborating on the songs for a musical adaptation of “Thelma & Louise” that she hopes is bound for Broadway in the next year or two. “I was the target audience for that movie,” Case said of the 1991 hit. “I was exactly the right age. I saw it trillions of times.”

Callie Khouri, who wrote the film’s Oscar-winning screenplay and is also writing the musical’s book, was a fan of Case’s music and selected her personally to work on the musical. “Her music has such scope, sonically and lyrically,” Khouri said in a phone interview. “She’s such a righteous, true-north artist and person.”

Case is plain-spoken about the financial realities of being a working musician; she said she wrote the book mainly because she needed another source of income while the pandemic kept her from touring. Later in 2025, she will also release her first new album in seven years, which she described as an explicit rebuttal to what she sees as the digital era’s dehumanization of her industry. She intentionally employed more musicians than usual; some tracks feature an entire orchestra.

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“I wanted everything to be played by real people,” she said, “to show how we fill space differently.”

Fans of her off-kilter, country-tinged albums like the Grammy-nominated 2009 release “Middle Cyclone” are unlikely to be surprised that Case writes uncommonly vivid and lyrical prose. Her mother’s pale-green station wagon, for instance, looks like “a nauseous basking shark.” The grasses of northern Washington house “grasshoppers the size of staplers with underwings like striped blushing flamenco skirts.” On a class trip, when her father packed an inadequate lunch (a few sad slices of cheese), a teacher’s aide gave her a pitying look and the young Case “dragged that shame around like a wet wool cape.”

The most startling revelations in the book are about Case’s mother. The musician writes that when she was in second grade and her parents were separated, her father picked her up from school one day, burst into tears and told her that her mother had died of cancer. She was stunned.

An emotionally somnambulant year and a half later, her father just as suddenly announced that her mother was alive and, actually, they were on their way to see her just then. When mother and daughter were reunited, Case writes that her parents informed her that her mother had been sick with a potentially fatal disease and fled to Hawaii for treatment, so her daughter would not have to see her suffer. Case was too young and vulnerable to question the story. “I forgave her with such desperate haste, I didn’t even have time to be mad,” she writes.

Her mother flickered in and out of her life for the next several decades, but even when they were living under the same roof, Case came to experience her mother like “a deer, always just out of reach,” she writes.

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After a final, failed attempt at reconnection when Case was in her late 30s — her mother moved in with her when she was living in Tucson and suddenly left without a word — Case cut ties with her mother for good. Shortly after, as she writes in the book, she had a revelation: Perhaps her mother had never been sick at all. The thought was at once crushing and profoundly liberating.

“There was much I could have forgiven,” she writes. “But it was the grift of her that ground that down — that love held out to dance before me, always snatched back just as I reached out my arms for it.” (Attempts to reach Case’s mother for comment were unsuccessful.)

“I guess I was an over-sharer out of desperation, like, ‘Please, notice me,’” Case said, noting that there is nothing in the book about her childhood that her closest friends do not already know. Newman, though, is relieved that others “can now read her story” and understand the scope of what she has endured. “Sometimes, when Neko was being kind of hard to deal with, I’d always have that in the back of my mind,” he said. “Like, I can’t tell you guys, but holy [expletive].”

When asked if any of these revelations were difficult to disclose in such a public manner, Case just shrugged. “So much has been done to me where I haven’t been considered,” she said. “I don’t have any guilt.”

CASE’S DISTINCT VOICE is as mighty as a canyon; she often sings like someone hollering into a void and pausing to let her echo confidently resound.

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“We were all kind of shocked she could sing so well,” Newman remembered. He met Case in the tight-knit Vancouver indie music scene in the mid-90s, when she was playing drums in the punk trio Maow. When he heard her sing at a friend’s wedding around that time — she belted out a rendition of the Students’ 1958 doo-wop tune “I’m So Young” — his jaw dropped.

“That’s when I wanted to work with her,” Newman said. “I felt like I was getting in on the ground floor of something, like I’d found this friend who had an incredible voice, but nobody else knew about it yet.”

Case’s debut album, “The Virginian,” recorded with a rotating backing band she cheekily dubbed Her Boyfriends, came out in 1997. “It sounds terrified to me,” she said now. “I’m just like, ahhhh! Singing on 10 the whole time. No dynamic whatsoever.”

But Case found acclaim as she honed her talent over her next few albums. Learning tenor guitar — a four-stringed instrument initially made for banjo players — unlocked a unique sound and sensibility in her songwriting. Newman marveled at her rapid creative growth over that period: Each album, he said, “felt very much like a leap forward.”

Still, Case’s brief forays down the music industry’s more mainstream avenues made her feel that she didn’t quite belong. In the book, she tells her side of a long-rumored story about the Grand Ole Opry. While playing an outdoor festival on its plaza in July 2001, on the brink of heat stroke, she stripped down to her bra.

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“It wasn’t an act of punk-rock defiance,” she writes. “I just had an animal need to cool down in any way possible.” The Opry management cut the power and after her truncated set “delivered the classic line,” Case writes, “‘You’ll NEVER play in this town again!’” (Representatives for the Opry said the event predates its current management team, and that “Neko Case is most welcome at the Grand Ole Opry and is among the many artists we’d love to welcome for an official Opry debut in 2025.”)

“I thought about what men had to do to get banned from the Opry,” she writes. Jerry Lee Lewis dropped an expletive on the air. Hank Williams got so wasted, he failed to show up. She eventually chalked the incident up to sexism, but she thinks the situation for female artists in country music is now “worse than it’s ever been.”

“Women have actually been demoted,” she said at the diner, pointing to incidents like the so-called “Tomato-gate,” a 2015 controversy in which a radio programmer recommended limiting female artists’ airplay, likening them to “the tomatoes of our salad” in a trade publication.

“It’s not true at all,” Case said unequivocally. “People don’t turn off their radios because women come on the radio.”

But she has seen firsthand how difficult it is to challenge the full force of the industry. “The gatekeepers are so thick, and they’re everywhere,” she added. “I always feel like people just need to start a new country music.”

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Over the years she’s done just that, and beyond. Case’s songs have a spaciousness and a sense of possibility that far exceed the confines of genre. Her music is deeply in touch with the expansiveness of the natural world, and that gives her narration a kind of shape-shifting power: She has written songs from the perspective of killer whales and tornadoes, wronged, aching women and gruff, swaggering men.

“Her songs have always been little movies to me,” said her longtime friend Paul Rigby, a Vancouver-based musician with a jazz background who has been collaborating with Case since 2006. “There are things that are based in reality, but there’s also fantastical stuff. I think it’s very important to her to try to understand what she thinks is her part in the world.”

NOT LONG AFTER “The Virginian” was released, a major label came courting. “Picture it like something out of a fairy tale,” she writes. “There’s a knock at the door, a fascinating stranger stands outside, and they want to grant you all your wishes!” It was like she was a child blinking horses into existence all over again. The label flew her to Los Angeles, wined and dined her — and then the deal suddenly fell through.

“It was such a farce,” Case said, as a waiter cleared her empty breakfast plate. But does she ever wonder what would have happened if she had been on that promised fast track to success? “I don’t think I would have gone very far,” she admitted, “because I just didn’t have the confidence or the skills yet. I wouldn’t have become really famous and gotten weird or anything. I think I just would have gotten kicked out early.”

Instead, over the course of nearly three decades, she’s painstakingly built something more enduring and true to herself. “She’s a person who knows so deeply who she is, and makes no bones about it,” Khouri said. “She’s not a person who is looking at herself and wondering what the world is thinking of her. She’s standing her ground, looking out at the world and saying, ‘Shouldn’t we all be trying to do better?’

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Case now knows that she did not actually make those horses appear all those years ago by magic. That doesn’t mean they weren’t important, though.

“As time went on, I began to understand in a new way the appearance of the horses when I was a kid,” she writes. “Not as something that would swoop in and fix me, but as a force pushing me to keep orienting myself toward the cinnamon scent of what was right and good for me.”

“It was like an engine that was running so hard all the time,” Case said of her drive, and that constant thrust of creative momentum. “I was always running away from things, too, like I just very much did not want to be in my old life.”

“The momentum was so great in me that I didn’t ever stop to try and understand it,” she added. “So maybe that’s what kept it going.”

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Culture

Book Review: ‘Selling Opportunity,’ by Mary Lisa Gavenas

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Book Review: ‘Selling Opportunity,’ by Mary Lisa Gavenas

SELLING OPPORTUNITY: The Story of Mary Kay, by Mary Lisa Gavenas


Mary Kay, the cosmetics company whose multilevel marketing included sales parties and whose biggest earners were awarded pink Cadillacs, was really in the business of selling second chances. Or, at least, that’s what Mary Lisa Gavenas argues in “Selling Opportunity,” a dual biography of the brand and the woman behind it.

Mary Kathlyn Wagner, who would become Mary Kay Ash, “the most famous saleswoman in the world” and “maybe the most famous ever,” in Gavenas’s extravagant words, was born in 1918 to a poor family and raised mostly in Houston. Although a good student, she eloped at 16 with a slightly older boy. The young couple had two babies in quick succession.

Mary Kay’s creation was a combination of timing and good luck. Door-to-door sales was a thriving industry — but, traditionally, a man’s world: Lugging heavy samples was not considered feminine, and entering the homes of strangers, unsafe. But things began to change during the Great Depression, Gavenas suggests, thanks to a convergence of factors — financial pressures and the rise of the aspirational prosperity gospel espoused by Dale Carnegie’s self-help manuals.

At the same time, female-run beauty lines like Annie Turnbo Malone’s Poro and Madam C.J. Walker’s were finding great success in Black communities. And, coincidentally or otherwise, the California Perfume Company changed its name to Avon Products in 1939.

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Ash began by selling books door to door, moving on to Stanley Home Products in the 1940s. She was talented, but direct sales was a rough gig. Every party to show off wares was supposed to beget two more bookings; these led to sales that resulted in new recruits. But there was no real security or stability: no salary, no medical benefits, no vacations. “Stop selling and you would end up right back where you started. Or worse,” the author writes.

Gavenas, a onetime beauty editor who wrote “Color Stories,” takes her time unspooling Mary Kay’s tale, with a great deal of evident research. We learn about direct sales, women’s rights and Texas history.

But, be warned: Readers must really enjoy both this woman and this world to take pleasure in “Selling Opportunity.” Mary Kay the person keeps marrying, getting divorced or widowed and working her way through various sales jobs (it’s hard to keep track of the myriad companies and last names). Gavenas seems to leave no detail out. Thus, the 1963 founding of the eponymous beauty company doesn’t come until almost 200 pages in.

Beauty by Mary Kay included a Cleansing Cream, a Magic Masque and a Nite Cream (which containined ammoniated mercury, later banned by the F.D.A.). The full line of products — which was how Mary Kay strongly encouraged customers to buy them — ran to a steep $175 in today’s money. (To fail to acquire the whole set, Ash said, was “like giving you my recipe for chocolate cake but leaving out an important ingredient.”)

Potential clients attended gatherings at acquaintances’ homes — no undignified doorbell-ringing here — where they received a mini facial, then an application of cosmetics like foundation, lip color and cream rouge — and a wig. The company made $198,514 in sales its first year.

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Although Ash may have seemed a pioneer, in many ways Mary Kay was a traditionalist company, whose philosophy was “God first, family second, career third.” Saleswomen, official literature dictated, were working to provide themselves with treats rather than necessities so as not to threaten their breadwinner husbands.

And yet, they were also encouraged to sell sell sell. Golden Goblet pendants were awarded for major orders. After the company started using custom pink Peterbilt trucks for shipping, it began commissioning those Cadillacs for top consultants. (Mary Kay preferred gifts to cash bonuses, lest women save the money to spend on practical things rather than the licensed frivolities.) The Cadillacs, always driven on company leases, would become industry legend and part of American pop culture lore. “Never to be run-down, repainted or resold, the cars would double as shining pink advertisements for her selling opportunity,” Gavenas writes.

The woman herself was iconic, too. While Ash was a product of the Depression, she was also undeniably over-the-top. She wore white suits with leopard trim, lived in a custom Frank L. Meier house and brought her poodle to the office.

Mary Kay went public in 1968, making her the first woman to chair a company on the New York Stock Exchange. By the 1990s, the Mary Kay headquarters near Dallas was almost 600,000 square feet. They commissioned a hagiographic company biopic; there was a Mary Kay consultant Barbie; they were making $1 billion in wholesale. When she died, in 2001, Ash was worth $98 million.

And yet, Gavenas cites that at the company’s height, in 1992, sales reps made on average just $2,400 per year.

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Instead of so much time in the pink fantasia of Mary Kay, it would have been nice for a few detours showing how infrequently the opportunities the company sold were truly realized.

SELLING OPPORTUNITY: The Story of Mary Kay | By Mary Lisa Gavenas | Viking | 435 pp. | $35

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Historical Fiction Books That Illustrate the Bonds Between Mother and Child

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Historical Fiction Books That Illustrate the Bonds Between Mother and Child

We often think of the past as if it were another world — and in some ways, it is. The politics, religion and social customs of other eras can be vastly different from our own. But one thing historians and historical fiction writers alike often notice is the constancy of human emotion. The righteous anger of a customer complaining about a Mesopotamian copper merchant in 1750 B.C. feels familiar. Tributes to beloved household pets from ancient Romans and Egyptians make us smile. And we are captivated by stories of love, betrayal and sacrifice from Homer to Shakespeare and beyond.

In literature, letters, tablets and even on coins, we find overwhelming evidence that people in the past felt the same emotions we do. Love, hate, fear, grief, joy: These feelings were as much a part of their lives as they are of our own. And they resonate especially acutely in the bond between mother and child. Here are eight historical novels that explore the meaning of motherhood across the centuries.

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How ‘The Sheep Detectives’ Brought its Ovine Sleuths to Life

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How ‘The Sheep Detectives’ Brought its Ovine Sleuths to Life

Sometime in the 2000s, the producer Lindsay Doran asked her doctor for a book recommendation. “I’m reading that book everybody’s reading,” the doctor replied. “You know, the one about the shepherd who’s murdered and the sheep solve the crime.”

Doran had not heard of the book, “Three Bags Full,” a best-selling novel by a German graduate student (“No one’s reading it,” she recalls responding, inaccurately), but she was struck by what sounded like an irresistible elevator pitch. “Everything came together for me in that one sentence,” she said. “The fact that it was sheep rather than some other animal felt so resonant.”

Doran spent years trying to extricate the book from a complicated rights situation, and years more turning it into a movie. The result, opening Friday, is “The Sheep Detectives,” which features Nicholas Braun and Emma Thompson as humans, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Patrick Stewart and others giving voice to C.G.I. sheep stirred from their customary ruminations by the death of their shepherd, George (Hugh Jackman).

The film, rated PG, is an Agatha Christie-lite mystery with eccentric suspects, a comically bumbling cop (Braun) and a passel of ovine investigators. It’s also a coming-of-age story about growing up and losing your innocence that might have a “Bambi”-like resonance for children. The movie’s sheep have a way of erasing unpleasant things from their minds — they believe, for instance, that instead of dying, they just turn into clouds — but learn that death is an inextricable part of life.

“In some ways, the most important character is Mopple, the sheep played by Chris O’Dowd,” the screenwriter, Craig Mazin, said in a video interview. “He has a defect — he does not know how to forget — and he’s been carrying his memories all alone.”

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“Three Bags Full” is an adult novel that includes grown-up themes like drugs and suicide. In adapting it for a younger audience, Mazin toned down its darker elements, changed its ending, and — for help in writing about death — consulted a book by Fred Rogers, TV’s Mister Rogers, about how to talk to children about difficult subjects.

The journey from book to film has been long and circuitous. “Three Bags Full” was written by Leonie Swann, then a 20-something German doctoral student studying English literature. Distracting herself from her unwritten dissertation, on the topic of “the animal point of view in fiction,” she began a short story “playing around with the idea of sheep detectives,” she said. “And I realized it was more like a novel, and it wasn’t the worst novel I’d ever seen.”

Why sheep? “I wasn’t someone who was thinking about sheep all the time,” Swann, who lives in the English countryside and has a dog named Ezra Hound, said in a video interview. Yet they have always hovered on the periphery of her life.

There was a friendly sheep that she used to see on her way to school. There was an irate ram that once chased her through the streets of a Bavarian village. And there were thousands and thousands of sheep in the fields of Ireland, where she lived for a time. “There were so many of them, and you could tell there was a lot of personality behind them,” she said.

A book in which sheep are stirred to action had to be a mystery, she said, to motivate the main characters. “In a lot of other stories, you would have trouble making a sheep realize there’s a story there,” she said. “They would just keep grazing. But murder is an existential problem that speaks to sheep as well as humans.”

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Swann (the name is a pseudonym; she has never publicly disclosed her real name) found a literary agent, Astrid Poppenhusen, who brought her manuscript to market. Published in 2005, the book was translated into 30 languages and ended up spending three and a half years on German best-seller lists. (The German title is “Glennkill,” after the village in which it takes place.) Other novels followed, including a sheep-centric sequel, “Big Bad Wool,” but Swann never finished her dissertation.

Doran, the producer, read the book — now published in the United States by Soho Press, along with four other Swann novels — soon after hearing about it. She was determined to make it into a movie. Whenever she told anyone about the idea, she said, she had them at “sheep.”

The director, Kyle Balda (whose credits include “Minions”), was so excited when he first read the script, in 2022, that “I immediately drove out to a sheep farm” near his house in Oregon, he said in a video interview. “Very instantly I could see the behavior of the sheep, their different personalities. I learned very quickly that there are more varieties of sheep than dogs.”

How to make the sheep look realistic, and how to strike the proper balance between their inherent sheep-iness and their human-esque emotions were important questions the filmmakers grappled with.

It was essential that “the sheep in this world are sheep” rather than humans in sheep’s clothing, Balda said. “It’s not the kind of story where they are partnered with humans and talking to each other.”

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That means that like real sheep, the movie sheep have short attention spans. They’re afraid to cross the road. “They don’t drive cars; they don’t wear pants; they’re not joke characters saying things like, ‘This grass would taste better with a little ranch dressing,’” Doran said.

And whenever they speak, their words register to humans as bleating, the way the adult speech in “Peanuts” cartoons sounds like trombone-y gibberish to Charlie Brown and his friends.

Lily, the leader of the flock, is played by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. It is not her first time voicing an animal in a movie: She has played, among other creatures, an ant in “A Bug’s Life” and a horse in “Animal Farm.” “When I read the script, I thought, ‘Wow, this is so weird,’” she said in a video interview. “It’s not derivative of anything else.”

Lily is unquestionably not a person; among other things, like a real sheep, she has a relatively immobile face set off by lively ears. “But her journey is a human journey where she realizes certain things about life she didn’t understand,” Louis-Dreyfus said. “There’s also the question of being a leader, and how to do that when you’re questioning your own point of view.”

Nicholas Braun took easily to the role of Officer Tim, the inept constable charged with solving the shepherd’s murder.

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“The part was a little Greg-adjacent in the beginning, and I don’t really want to play too many Gregs,” Braun said via video, referring to Cousin Greg, his hapless punching bag of a character in the TV drama “Succession.”

“I’m post-Greg,” he said.

It takes Officer Tim some time to notice that the neighborhood sheep might be actively helping him tackle the case. But Braun said that unlike Greg, who is stuck in perpetual ineptitude, Tim gets to grow into a braver and more assertive person, a take-charge romantic hero — much the way the sheep are forced into action from their default position of “just forgetting about it and moving on and going back to eating grass,” he said.

Braun mused for a bit about other potential animal detectives — horses, say, or cows — but concluded that the sheep in the film were just right for the job. He predicted that the movie would change people’s perception of sheep, much the way “Toy Story” made them “look at their toys, or their kids’ toys, differently.”

“I don’t think people are going to be eating as much lamb after this,” he said.,

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