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I left my husband behind on my 50th birthday to go hiking in Utah. Traveling separately is good for our marriage.

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I left my husband behind on my 50th birthday to go hiking in Utah. Traveling separately is good for our marriage.


As newlyweds in our 20s, my husband and I backpacked from Beijing to Paris, spending 14 weeks riding trains, buses, and boats. We were good travel partners. But as we’ve grown older, our travel desires have diverged: I itch for more adventure, while he prefers vacations spent reading and sketching.

For my 50th birthday, instead of coaxing my husband to join me on a hiking trip to a national park, I invited our 20-year-old daughter, who loves active adventures as much as I do. We also brought along a family friend — who, like me, left her husband behind.

The three of us headed to Utah to explore Zion and Bryce Canyon national parks. Along the way, I sent my artistic husband plenty of photos of the red cliffs against the blue sky.

He would have hated it all

When we won the permit lottery to hike up Zion’s 1,488-foot rock formation, Angels Landing, I knew going with the girls had been the right choice — my husband has always been scared of heights. With narrow paths and sheer drop-offs, Angels Landing is considered one of the most terrifying hikes in America.

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The four-hour trek to Angels Landing begins with Walter’s Wiggles, a series of strenuous switchbacks. Once we entered the formation’s upper section, we scrambled over rocks and tiptoed down paths only a few feet wide. The river snaking through the canyon below looked like the view from an airplane.

I have to admit I was a little shaky when I came to the short sections with no chains to clutch. My husband wouldn’t have been scared at all — because he’d have turned back miles earlier.


Three women wearing red helmets canyoneering in Utah.

Kirby went canyoneering with her daughter and a friend in Utah.

Carrie Kirby



We also signed up for another of my husband’s most hated activities: horseback riding. We descended into the Bryce Canyon on mules and ponies, hoping they wouldn’t lose their footing as we enjoyed intimate views of the park’s famous hoodoos.

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We went canyoneering as well, donning harnesses and helmets to rappel into otherwise inaccessible slot canyons. Stepping backward off a cliff edge to walk our way down, “Spider-Man” style was a lot of fun for us girls. For my husband? Canyoneering would have been another huge nope.

Breaking routines and learning new skills

During our adventures, the girls and I laughed and told stories nonstop. Although I love my husband, my spirit basked in the pause from everyday squabbles and responsibilities. Had he been there, I’d have put a full dinner on the table nightly. But with just us girls, we ate hummus straight from the container for dinner when we felt like it.

I married at 24 and have been a wife for more than half my life. One thing that happens when you couple young is specialization. When we travel together, my husband does most of the driving. On this trip and a few others, I’ve been able to improve my driving skills, although I still need to learn to change a tire on my own.

Now that our three kids are teens or young adults, my husband and I are discovering what great travel companions they are — each one shares different interests with us, including some we don’t share with each other.

Last month, my husband took the two younger kids to visit our oldest in her college town for a hockey game — something that would’ve bored me to tears, but they all loved it.

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Traveling separately has not only let us each pursue what we truly enjoy without guilt, but it’s also practical: I’m self-employed with flexible time, while he has limited vacation, and with two kids still in high school, solo trips let one of us travel during the school year without leaving them alone.

It has strengthened our relationship

When friends and family find out one of us isn’t coming on a trip, they often ask “Why?” I’m sure some worry that our separate wanderings mean we’re headed for divorce.

In reality, our his-and-her trips have been a relationship boon. After 27 years of going through the same daily schedules together, we don’t usually have a lot to say that the other hasn’t heard before. Travel gives us new stories to share.

The night my daughter and I got home from our Utah adventure, my husband had a hot meal on the table and was excited to sit down and view photos.

“You have got to see this!” I found myself saying as we shared the view of Zion’s towering walls. I told him how good the icy Virgin River water felt on our bare feet near The Narrows, and he said he’d love to experience that.

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And maybe next time, we’ll travel together. We could sign up for a bike tour — his favorite active pursuit — and skip the steep hikes.

Do you have a story to share about celebrating your 50th birthday? Contact the editor at akarplus@businessinsider.com.





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As judge decides whether to close the redistricting case, could lawmakers just make a new map?

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As judge decides whether to close the redistricting case, could lawmakers just make a new map?


SALT LAKE CITY — The judge overseeing the lawsuit over Utah’s redistricting process is expected to issue a ruling before Christmas on whether to grant the legislature’s request to close the case, sending it to the Utah Supreme Court.

Lawyers for the Utah State Legislature have urged 3rd District Court Judge Dianna Gibson to issue a final ruling, clearing their path for an appeal. They argued that the case effectively wrapped up once the judge issued a series of rulings on the legality of Proposition 4 and chose a new map for Utah’s congressional districts.

The League of Women Voters of Utah and Mormon Women for Ethical Government basically got what they wanted, argued Frank Chang, an attorney for the Utah State Legislature.

“What if I told you I disagree?” Judge Gibson said to him in the midst of arguments, asking for case law that even allows a case to be closed so abruptly.

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During a hastily called hearing on Monday, lawyers for the League and MWEG urged the judge to reject the request. They argued that the case is far from over with claims yet to be addressed and the legislature failed to seek the proper interlocutory appeals when the time was appropriate. The injunctions she entered on Prop. 4 and the new map are preliminary, they argued, and the legislature passed new bills rewriting some of the rules of redistricting, which keeps the case alive.

When Judge Gibson asked if the legislature was essentially right that the case is basically over with the 2026 election? The plaintiffs suggested lawmakers might still bypass the courts and pass a new map in the upcoming legislative session.

“That is sort of a question mark I have in light of some statements, the public statements that have been made by certain legislators,” said Mark Gaber, an attorney for the plaintiffs. “Sen. Weiler, on his podcast, suggested the legislature could pass a new map for the 2026 election if a permanent injunction had been entered. That’s a question I have: if it’s intended by the legislature. If that’s the case? Remedial proceedings could certainly not be done as there would need to be a proceeding as to that new map.”

When Judge Gibson asked Chang about it, he said it was what “one member said in a podcast.”

“If this court is seeking to find out what the intent of the legislature is, it’s the act of the legislature. The most recent one here was what the legislature did in the special session,” he said.

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In that special session, lawmakers voted to move the deadline for congressional candidate filings to March and pass a resolution condemning Judge Gibson’s ruling.

As the court hearing as going on, FOX 13 News texted Sen. Todd Weiler, R-Woods Cross, about his remarks. Sen. Weiler (who is an attorney in his day job), replied that he was explaining to listeners the difference between interlocutory and final appeals and just stating “hypotheticals” in response to any stay issued by the Utah Supreme Court.

“But I’m not aware of any plans to do that,” he wrote.

In 2018, voters approved Prop. 4, which created an independent redistricting commission to draw lines for boundaries in congress, legislature and state school board. When the legislature overrode the citizen ballot initiative and passed its own maps, the League and MWEG sued arguing that the people have a right to alter and reform their government. In particular, they alleged the congressional map that the Utah State Legislature approved was gerrymandered to favor Republicans.

The court sided with them, ruling that Prop. 4 is law and throwing out the congressional map. She ordered lawmakers to redraw a new one. They did, under protest, but she rejected their map for not meeting Prop. 4’s neutral redistricting criteria. Instead, she chose a map submitted by the plaintiffs that she declared met the tenets of Prop. 4. It has resulted in a Salt Lake County-centric district that Democratic candidates have rushed to enter, viewing it as more competitive for them.

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The Utah State Legislature has argued that it has the sole constitutional right to draw boundaries in redistricting, setting up a legal showdown that will go to the Utah Supreme Court and potentially the U.S. Supreme Court.

Judge Gibson said she planned to issue a ruling before Christmas on whether to finalize the case.





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Keller wins it in OT, Mammoth recover from Jets’ late rally | NHL.com

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Keller wins it in OT, Mammoth recover from Jets’ late rally | NHL.com


The goal was Connor’s 300th in the NHL. He is the third player in Jets/Atlanta Thrashers history to hit the mark, behind Scheifele (353) and Ilya Kovalchuk (328).

“Just a pretty cool milestone,” Connor said. “Once you look back on your career, that’s kind of the stuff you’ll remember. But right now it’s focusing on winning, trying to be the best player I can, and helping out.”

Connor scored his second goal at 15:23 of the third period, beating Vejmelka blocker side with a one-timer to cut the lead to 3-2.

“I think we just knew that we needed to be better,” Connor said of the comeback. “I think we were on our toes more, jumping and making plays and hemming them in.”

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Barron scored just 25 seconds later, beating Vejmelka glove side with a snap shot tie it 3-3.

“That first period was ugly. It was really ugly,” Winnipeg coach Scott Arniel said. “We got better in the second, certainly dominated in the third, but at the end of the day, you can’t play two periods in this league and look to have success.”

Crouse gave the Mammoth a 1-0 lead at 5:20 of the first period. Guenther skated in from the blue line and shot through the legs of Jets defenseman Logan Stanley to put the puck on Hellebuyck. The rebound of his shot then found Crouse in front, where he scored blocker side with a slap shot.

“We made it interesting on ourselves,” Crouse said. “Definitely not the way we wanted the third period to go, but credit to our group, that’s not easy. They scored two right away and then we went right into OT pretty much, so credit to the group for having the right mindset and being able to get the win.”

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Utah man with autism found after 10-day search

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Utah man with autism found after 10-day search


SALT LAKE CITY — August Beckwith, a 29-year-old Utah man with autism, has been found safe after disappearing for a second time in a matter of weeks.

“We are overjoyed and deeply grateful,” Lori Beckwith, August Beckwith’s mother, said in a post on Facebook Sunday. “Thank you to the many remarkable people who helped with compassion and kindness throughout. Wishing everyone a loving and peaceful Christmas.”

Beckwith had been missing for 24 days after disappearing from the University of Utah campus on Nov. 17. Lori Beckwith, August’s mother, had taken to Facebook to report when he had first been found.

The Beckwith family wishes for privacy at this time.

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