So you want to talk like a baseball person? Then you’ll have to curse a lot.

At least, that’s how Pat Murphy, the Milwaukee Brewers’ manager, explained it to his boss’ young son. As long as you’re wearing a baseball glove, Murphy told Tyler Arnold — the son of Brewers’ general manager Matt Arnold — you can use whatever words you hear in the clubhouse. That didn’t go over too well at home.

“A lot of it’s not very PG,” said Seth Lugo, a Kansas City Royals pitcher, who shares kid-friendly stuff with his own son.

“He wants to hit balls in the backyard, so he’ll hit ’em and I’ll say ‘steak dinner!’” Lugo said. “First time I told him that he’s like, ‘What is that?’ And I’m like, ‘RBI… rib-eye… steak dinner.’ So now whenever he’s hitting balls, he’s going, ‘Steak dinner!’”

The thing about baseball slang, though, is that a lot of it applies only to baseball. When a teammate strikes out a hitter with a fastball, for example, you might salute it by yelling “doors!” — as in, he blew the doors off that guy. Or there’s this, from New York Mets reliever Adam Ottavino, also for a strikeout.

“Go sit in the truck,” Ottavino said. “It’s just one of those things where your dad would get mad at you and tell you to go sit in the car. Like, ‘Go sit in the truck and think about what you just did.’ There’s probably something like that for almost every situation in baseball.”

Cheese. Uncle Charlie. Walk-off. Golden Sombrero. Platinum Sombrero. While narrow in scope, the baseball ecosystem has its own vast and peculiar vocabulary. Enough to fill a dictionary, in fact.

But what about those distinctive baseball expressions that could also apply to the larger world, where they’d sound laughably out of place? If you’re in the game, you know the feeling.

“The thing that comes to mind for me is the scouting scale, 20 to 80,” Arnold said, referring to the Branch Rickey grading system — still widely known — in which 20 is the low and 80 the high.

“So I’ll be like, ‘That’s a 70 sandwich’ or ‘That’s a 35 restaurant’ – like, it’ll play, but not a regular. And no one understands what we’re talking about. But when you’re in baseball, you’re like, ‘I get it.’ You know what a 35 is.”

One baseball person might ask another, “How hard is he throwing?” or “What was the velo on that pitch?” And yet baseball people would never, ever ask, “How fast was that pitch?”

They know this makes no sense.

“You wouldn’t say ‘What was your velo on your drive home?’” said Derek Falvey, the Minnesota Twins’ president of baseball operations. “You’d say, ‘How fast were you going?’ But if someone says, ‘How fast was that pitch?’, you know they’re not around baseball very much.”

Well, there are a couple of ways to change that. You could spend the bulk of your life embedded in dugouts, clubhouses, front offices or press boxes. Or you could read our back-to-school primer, with 20 tips on how to sound like a big leaguer in everyday life.

(Formal dictionary definitions are from the Merriam-Webster website.)

Bang

Everyday meaning: v. – to strike sharply
“Don’t bang your head on that low railing.”

Baseball meaning: v. – to postpone a game
“It was raining all afternoon, so they banged the game.”

When worlds collide: “It’s supposed to snow overnight. Do you think they’ll bang school?”

Boat race

Everyday meaning: n. – A race between boats
“That was an exciting boat race on the harbor today.”

Baseball meaning: v. – To rout another team by pulling away early, as if one team is in a speedboat and the other in a rowboat
“They got 10 runs in the first two innings and just boat-raced us.”

When worlds collide: “We were the same height till middle school,” the short man said of his friend, who grew up to be 6-foot-10, “then he just boat-raced me!”

Quatraro on the #Royals navigating the ups and downs: “That’s how baseball is. You’re going to go through little streaks here and there. When you’re in a playoff race, it’s very rare that you just boat race everybody and get out to a huge lead.” pic.twitter.com/v0QePd1VfF

— Bally Sports Kansas City (@BallySportsKC) July 28, 2024

Eye wash

Everyday meaning: n. 1 – an eye lotion, 2 – misleading or deceptive statements, actions or procedures

Baseball meaning: n. – false hustle
“He always makes a big show of bunting whenever we hit on the field, so people will think he’s this old-school player. But it’s all eyewash, because he’s never even tried it in a game.”

When worlds collide: “It’s such eyewash to post about it on social media when you won’t even give your time or money to the cause.”

For me

Everyday meaning: something done on behalf of the speaker
“Can you do a favor for me?”

Baseball meaning: In my opinion (the way anyone else would use “to me”)
“When I look at where he slots in their rotation, he’s more of a back-end guy, for me.”

When worlds collide:
“The neighbors’ new fence looks great, for me.”

4A

Everyday meaning: (from the Ford website) Four-wheel drive auto (4A) – Electronically controlled 4WD with power delivered to the front and rear wheels. Provides increased traction on varied road conditions.
“Make sure the Bronco is in 4A when you’re out on those wet roads today.”

Baseball meaning: adj. – better than most players in Triple A, but not good enough to stick in the majors
“He’s a 4A guy; he can fall out of bed and hit .280 down there, but he’s never been able to stick up here.”

When worlds collide: “I thought I was pretty good at Jeopardy! but it turns out I’m more of a 4A guy — the one time I got on the show, it was really hard to keep up.”

Fringy

Everyday meaning: an adjective describing something marginal, additional, or secondary to some activity, process, or subject

Baseball meaning: Not quite reaching a certain scouting grade.
“He’ll probably hit .300, but he’s a first baseman with fringy-average power.”

When worlds collide: “I liked the appetizers and dessert, but that was a fringy-average chicken parm.”

Guy

Everyday meaning: n. – a man, fellow

Baseball meaning: n. – An everyday player in the majors (as opposed to a “dude,” meaning superstar), often but not always used to describe prospects
“I went down to see our Double-A team, and that catcher has really improved since we drafted him. He’s a guy now, for me.”

When worlds collide: “I was listening to our state senator speak at the high school, and I’m telling you, she’s a guy. I could see her as a congresswoman someday.”

Hang with ’em

Everyday meaning: the closest non-baseball equivalent is “hang in there”
“I’m sorry you’re feeling sick. Hang in there!”

Baseball meaning: same as the everyday meaning… but sort of plural, for reasons unknown
“We lost tonight, we used the whole bullpen and we put our leadoff guy on the injured list. And now we’ve got a doubleheader tomorrow with their aces on the mound. Hang with ’em!”

When worlds collide: “Oh man, you spilled coffee on your shirt, your car wouldn’t start, it rained on your walk to the office and now you’ve gotta work a double shift? Hang with ’em!”

Horse

Everyday meaning: n. – a large solid-hoofed herbivorous ungulate mammal domesticated since prehistoric times and used as a beast of burden, a draft animal, or for riding.

“She grew up riding horses at her grandparents’ farm.”

Baseball meaning: n. – Someone who is durable and reliable (typically applied to pitchers)
“The Phillies have a couple of horses in that rotation with Zack Wheeler and Aaron Nola.”

When worlds collide: “Jimmy’s a horse out on the road. He drives that big rig back and forth across the country several times a month.”

Kitchen

Everyday meaning: n. – a place (such as a room) with cooking facilities
“If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

Baseball meaning: n. – The area of space from the inside corner to a hitter’s torso, from the belt to the shoulders
“He knows I like to extend my arms, so he was really getting in my kitchen today.”

When worlds collide: “That guy was like the close talker on ‘Seinfeld,’ he got right up in my kitchen.”

Let it eat

Everyday meaning: v. – to allow something to consume food
“The zookeeper was holding a bird and let it eat right out of her hand.”

Baseball meaning: v. – to perform an action with conviction, as in throwing your best fastball or taking your best swing
“His stuff was better as a reliever, because he could really let it eat.”

When worlds collide: “When you give that speech tonight, don’t hold back, just let it eat.”

Plus

Everyday meaning: n. – a positive quality or factor
“The hotel has free parking, which is a plus.”

Baseball meaning: adj. – one grade up, or better than average (plus-plus means two grades up)
“He had plus speed and a plus arm, but the other tools were lacking.”

When worlds collide: “No wonder she got a solo in the school play, she’s always had a plus singing voice.”

Service time

Everyday meaning: the time required to serve a customer
“When taking someone’s order, the service time should be less than two minutes.”

Baseball meaning: the specific number of years and days spent on the active, 26-man major-league roster or major-league injured list, with 172 days counting as one year
“They waited until June to call him up, probably to hold down his service time.”

When worlds collide: “I forget when you started working at this coffee shop – how much service time do you have?”

Show-and-go

Everyday meaning: v. – to cause or permit to be seen (and) v. – to move on a course (two common verbs not used together very often)
“Take out your phone, open your boarding pass, show (the gate agent) and go through the gate.”

Baseball meaning: a manager’s decision to give players a later reporting time than usual, allowing them to skip batting practice and take the field with minimal preparation
“We played 12 innings tonight, so with the early start tomorrow, we’re gonna do a show-and-go.”

When worlds collide: “I’m not coming in early tomorrow morning to cram for the test with you guys. Gonna be a show-and-go for me.”

Spin

Everyday meaning: v. – to revolve rapidly (gyrate), n. – the whirling motion imparted (as to a ball or top) by spinning

Baseball meaning: also both verb and noun. While both fastballs and breaking balls revolve rapidly, the word spin almost always refers to the kind that causes the ball to break — except as a noun following “efficient” (a fastball that stays tight and does not wobble has “efficient spin”)
v. – “He doesn’t throw hard, but he can really spin the ball.”
n. – “You can still hit the fastball at those 4:00 starts, but the shadows make it hard to pick up spin.”

When worlds collide: “It could be a challenging day for surfers, because those waves have really good spin.”

Spit

Everyday meaning: v. – expectorate
“The mama looked down and spit on the ground every time my name gets mentioned.”

Baseball meaning: v. – to take an off-speed pitch, meant to deceive, without even starting to swing
“It looked like he saw that really good, because that changeup was nasty and he just spit on it.”

When worlds collide: “The movie was set up to make you suspect the husband, but you spit on that theory and knew it was the wife all along.”

Show

Everyday meaning: n. – a performance or public spectacle
“He starred on the show for seven seasons, then left to marry Holly.”

Baseball meaning: adj. – fashionable, stylish and probably expensive, as befitting someone who has established himself in “The Show” (the major leagues)
“He had a great rookie year and rolled into the locker room this spring with Louis V bags and everything. That’s show.”

When worlds collide: “She used to take the bus to work, but she got that big promotion and bought herself a Mercedes. That’s show.”

Waffled

Everyday meaning: v. – equivocated, vacillated

Baseball meaning: v. – to be the victim of an emphatic hit, as a pitcher
“Last time I faced this guy, he waffled me. He hit it so hard I thought it was gonna go through the wall.”

When worlds collide: “It’s gonna take a while for the roads to clear; that ice storm waffled the whole town.”

Wear it

Everyday meaning: v. – to bear or have on the person
“That suit looks good, I think I’ll wear it to the wedding.”

Baseball meaning: v. – to absorb a humiliation for the good of the team
“It was already 6-0, but the bullpen was worn out so the starter had to stay in and wear it.”

When worlds collide: “I would normally have the kids rake the leaves, but they’re studying for midterms so I just had to wear it.”

Wraparound

Everyday meaning: n. – an object that encircles or especially curves and laps over another
“I’ve always wanted a home with a wraparound porch.”

Baseball meaning: adj. – a rare weekend series that extends beyond Sunday to include a final game on Monday; n. – the Monday game of such a series
“I thought we were leaving town but forgot we have the wraparound game on Monday.”

When worlds collide: “It’ll be a wraparound visit; the weekend flights are too expensive, so we’ll come home Monday night.”

That is, unless they bang the flight. And if they do, you may find yourself in this condition.

(Top photo: Getty; Mark Cunningham/MLB Photos)

Taylor Swift might be trying to do a favor for any fantasy football players out there who drafted Travis Kelce this year. 

The Kansas City Chiefs star addressed the news that Swift has been drawing up plays for the team’s offensive playbook, which Patrick Mahomes revealed in an interview with NBC last week. 

Kelce says that all of Swift’s plays are focused on him, during an interview on the Rich Eisen Show on Tuesday. 

“She’s a little biased and just creates plays for me,” Kelce said. 

Kelce added that none of Swift’s plays have made it to the desk of head coach Andy Reid yet. However, Kelce believes Swift has been a fast learner in terms of understanding how the plays work and did not rule out them being used by the Chiefs this season. 

“She didn’t know much about the rules and everything, but what I think makes her so good in her profession is that she’s so detailed in every aspect of it,” Kelce said. 

Kelce added that if those plays ever do make it to the Reid’s desk, “I’ll make sure everyone knows they were her creation.” 

Mahomes has expressed similar support for using Swift’s plays when he revealed she was designing them on Aug. 30. 

TAYLOR SWIFT’S ‘CURATED’ HOLLYWOOD IMAGE IS ‘BLUEPRINT’ FOR TRAVIS KELCE’S TINSELTOWN DREAMS

Travis Kelce, Chris Jones and Patrick Mahomes are pictured celebrating in January 2024 after winning the AFC championship. (Emily Curiel/The Kansas City Star/Tribune News Service via Getty Images)

“We might have to put one in,” Mahomes said of the plays to NBC. 

The Chiefs have a history of incorporating dancing elements into their trick plays in the past. 

In their season final against the Las Vegas Raiders on Jan. 7, the Chiefs offense, led by Mahomes and Kelce, broke huddle and then immediately huddled and spun around in a circle for a few seconds before quickly breaking into formation to snap the ball. The play was dubbed, the “snowglobe” play. 

In the Super Bowl LIV matchup against the 49ers in 2020, the Chiefs offense were standing in full-house formation at the goal line on a critical fourth-down play. Then, suddenly, all four players in the backfield rhythmic motion over one spot, Mahomes moved over one spot and the ball was snapped right to Damien Williams for a critical first down that eventually set up the first Chiefs touchdown of the game. 

Kelce was at the center of one Kansas City’s famous trick plays when he took the snap and threw his first career touchdown pass in the 2021 wild-card playoff game against the Pittsburgh Steelers, replacing Mahomes as the team’s quarterback for one play. 

Swift would have plenty of inspiration to draw from if she wanted to get Kelce more involved in replacing Mahomes as a passer on certain plays from the New Orleans Saints long-time utility tight end Taysom Hill. Hill is listed as a tight end. However, Hill has thrown 298 passes for the Saints dating back to 2018. He’s thrown for 2,348 yards with 11 touchdowns and eight interceptions. He’s done this on both trick plays on offense and as the team’s starter for nine games in 2020 and 2021. 

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A dispute between USC star quarterback Miller Moss and his former roommate and fellow Trojan quarterback Mo Hasan escalated to the point that the university investigated the feud in early 2022.

The dispute was resolved through USC’s usual student conduct resolution process, a person familiar with the situation not authorized to discuss it publicly told The Times. Police were never involved, nor was any legal action taken.

Moss, who was just named Big Ten Offensive Player of the Week for his stellar performance during USC’s win over LSU, expressed remorse for his handling of the dispute in a statement on Tuesday.

“I fully cooperated and took accountability for my decisions, and the matter was resolved,” Moss said. “I regret my actions and have grown and learned from this matter, and my focus is on the season ahead.”

In a video, which was first obtained by TMZ, Moss can be seen first telling someone off camera that he’s “stealing this shirt, dude” and insisting to the person off camera that they’re not going to wear it.

In another clip, Moss, who was a freshman at the time, is shown with others rummaging through what appears to be his roommate’s closet. He then grabs pillow off the bed, placing it behind his butt and releasing what appears to be a fart. He later suggests to one of the others in the room to take a jacket from out of the closet.

The roommate, a person with knowledge of the video said, was Hasan, who at some point filed a complaint with the university that initiated a student conduct resolution process. Moss eventually had to write a paper apologizing for the incident.

“We take all student conduct complaints seriously and are legally obligated to keep those matters private and confidential,” the university said in a statement. “Each and every case follows a prescribed and thorough adjudication process as described in the USC Student Handbook. If a student has been found responsible and has fulfilled all of the terms of their discipline, the matter is considered closed. In this case, the matter was resolved and settled two-and-a-half years ago.”