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Imagining Bill Belichick's college recruiting pitch as North Carolina rumors swirl: A one-act play.

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Imagining Bill Belichick's college recruiting pitch as North Carolina rumors swirl: A one-act play.


Bill Belichick … college football coach?

It’s all sorts of weird when you think about it. Dude has won so many Super Bowls and could have the pick of any job he wants in the NFL if he wants back in, but with talk of potentially taking the helm at North Carolina, it feels like this is something he might actually want.

Perhaps it’s the draw of controlling an entire program. Maybe it’s the connection to his father who once coached at UNC. Maybe it’s to set up his son, Stephen, for a bright future.

While we wait to see if anything comes of this, the rumors got us — and pretty much the rest of the internet — thinking: what would a Belichick recruiting pitch sound like?

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We’ve got this. Let’s break it down, in a one-act play:

INTERIOR: A recruit’s house in Raleigh.

Bill Belichick and an assistant coach enter through the front door. Bill is wearing a UNC hoodie with the sleeves cut off. He ignores the parents holding out their hands for a shake. He sits down in front of the recruit and doesn’t say a word. He removes his Super Bowl rings one by one out of their boxes.

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

He sits down in front of the recruit and his family, puts the rings on his fingers and holds them up for a full minute. He puts them away, then takes out a photo of his boat VIII Rings and displays it for another minute.

Feb. 22, 2019; Jupiter, FL; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick’s boat, VIII Rings, is docked across the street from Orchids of Asia in Jupiter, Florida. Mandatory Credit: Arnie Rosenberg/Treasure Coast News via USA TODAY NETWORK

“If you stay awake for the entire presentation,” he says in a dull monotone, “you’ve passed the first test.”

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He takes out a clipboard and a pen and asks the player about social media use next, writing down notes with every answer.

“Do you use SnapFace? InstantChat? YourFace? MyFace?”

He tosses a 200-page tome to the recruit.

“You have five minutes to read through that. A pop quiz on coverages, routes and more will follow,” he says.

After the quiz, Belichick turns to the parents.

Eric Canha-USA TODAY Sports

Belichick: “Any questions?”

Mom: “Do you think our son will be a starter by his sophomore year?”

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Belichick: “We’re on to Cincinnati.”

[Mom and Dad exchange a look of pure confusion.]

Dad: “Uh, what kind of NIL opportunities could you see for him?”

Belichick: “We’re gonna keep that in house.”

[Belichick and the parents stare at each other in silence for another minute. He stands up.]

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Belichick turns his attention one final time to the recruit.

“Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your j–”

[The UNC assistant coach reaches back and flips the “off” switch on Belichick. He picks up a frozen Belichick, nods at everyone in the room and walks off.]

FIN.



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North Carolina

A town in western North Carolina is returning land to the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians

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A town in western North Carolina is returning land to the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians


An important cultural site is close to being returned to the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians after a city council in North Carolina voted unanimously Monday to return the land.

The Noquisiyi Mound in Franklin, North Carolina, was part of a Cherokee mother town hundreds of years before the founding of the United States, and it is a place of deep spiritual significance to the Cherokee people. But for about 200 years it was either in the hands of private owners or the town.

“When you think about the importance of not just our history but those cultural and traditional areas where we practice all the things we believe in, they should be in the hands of the tribe they belong to,” said Michell Hicks, principal chief of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians. “It’s a decision that we’re very thankful to the town of Franklin for understanding.”

Noquisiyi is the largest unexcavated mound in the Southeast, said Elaine Eisenbraun, executive director of Noquisiyi Intitative, the nonprofit that has managed the site since 2019. Eisenbraun, who worked alongside the town’s mayor for several years on the return, said the next step is for the tribal council to agree to take control, which will initiate the legal process of transferring the title.

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CHEROKEE CHIEF SIGNS ORDINANCE FOR FIRST OFFICIAL DEER SEASON ON TRIBAL LANDS

“It’s a big deal for Cherokees to get our piece of our ancestral territory back in general,” said Angelina Jumper, a citizen of the tribe and a Noquisiyi Initiative board member who spoke at Monday’s city council meeting. “But when you talk about a mound site like that, that has so much significance and is still standing as high as it was two or three hundred years ago when it was taken, that kind of just holds a level of gravity that I just have no words for.”

In the 1940s, the town of Franklin raised money to purchase the mound from a private owner. Hicks said the tribe started conversations with the town about transferring ownership in 2012, after a town employee sprayed herbicide on the mound, killing all the grass. In 2019, Franklin and the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians created a nonprofit to oversee the site, which today it is situated between two roads and several buildings.

“Talking about Land Back, it’s part of a living people. It’s not like it’s a historical artifact,” said Stacey Guffey, Franklin’s mayor, referencing the global movement to return Indigenous homelands through ownership or co-stewardship. “It’s part of a living culture, and if we can’t honor that then we lose the character of who we are as mountain people.”

LUMBEE TRIBE OF NORTH CAROLINA GAINS LONG-SOUGHT FULL FEDERAL RECOGNITION

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Noquisiyi is part of a series of earthen mounds, many of which still exist, that were the heart of the Cherokee civilization. The Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians also owns the Cowee Mound a few miles away, and it is establishing a cultural corridor of important sites that stretches from Georgia to the tribe’s reservation, the Qualla Boundary.

Noquisiyi, which translates to “star place,” is an important religious site that has provided protection to generations of Cherokee people, said Jordan Oocumma, the groundskeeper of the mound. He said he is the first enrolled member of the tribe to caretake the mound since the forced removal.

“It’s also a place where when you need answers, or you want to know something, you can go there and you ask, and it’ll come to you,” he said. “It feels different from being anywhere else in the world when you’re out there.”

The mound will remain publicly accessible, and the tribe plans to open an interpretive center in a building it owns next to the site.



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Former inmate buys NC prison to help others who have served time

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Former inmate buys NC prison to help others who have served time


With the recent purchase of the former Wayne Correctional Center in Goldsboro, Kerwin Pittman is laying claim to an unusual title — he says he’s the first formerly incarcerated person in the U.S. to purchase a prison. Pittman, the founder and executive director of Recidivism Reduction Educational Program Services, Inc. (RREPS), was sent to prison […]



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NC Foundation at center of I-Team Troubleshooter investigation could face contempt charge

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NC Foundation at center of I-Team Troubleshooter investigation could face contempt charge


DURHAM, N.C. (WTVD) — New details in an I-Team investigation into a Durham foundation accused of not paying its employees.

The North Carolina Department of Labor filed a motion in court to try to force the Courtney Jordan Foundation, CJF America, to provide the pay records after the state agency received more than 30 complaints from former employees about not getting paid.

The ABC11 I-Team first told you about CJF and its problems paying employees in July. The foundation ran summer camps in Durham and Raleigh, and at the time, more than a dozen workers said they didn’t get paid, or they got paychecks that bounced. ABC11 also talked to The Chicken Hut, which didn’t get paid for providing meals to CJF Durham’s summer camps, but after Troubleshooter Diane Wilson’s involvement, The Chicken Hut did get paid.

The NC DOL launched their investigation, and according to this motion filed with the courts, since June thirty one former employees of CJF filed complaints with the agency involving pay issues. Court documents state that, despite repeated attempts from the wage and hour bureau requesting pay-related documents from CJF, and specifically Kristen Picot, the registered agent of CJF, CJF failed to comply.

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According to this motion, in October, an investigator with NC DOL was contacted by Picot, and she requested that the Wage and Hour Bureau provide a letter stating that CJF was cooperating with the investigation and that repayment efforts were underway by CJF. Despite several extensions, the motion says Picot repeatedly exhibited a pattern of failing to comply with the Department of Labor’s investigation. The motion even references an ITEAM story on CJFand criminal charges filed against its executives.

The NC DOL has requested that if CJF and Picot fail to produce the requested documentation related to the agency’s investigation, the employer be held in civil contempt for failure to comply. Wilson asked the NC Department of Labor for further comment, and they said, “The motion to compel speaks for itself. As this is an ongoing investigation, we are unable to comment further at this time.”

ABC11 Troubleshooter reached out to Picot and CJF America, but no one has responded. At Picot’s last court appearance on criminal charges she faces for worthless checks, she had no comment then.

Out of all the CJF employees we heard from, only one says he has received partial payment.

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