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Imagining Bill Belichick's college recruiting pitch as North Carolina rumors swirl: A one-act play.

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Imagining Bill Belichick's college recruiting pitch as North Carolina rumors swirl: A one-act play.


Bill Belichick … college football coach?

It’s all sorts of weird when you think about it. Dude has won so many Super Bowls and could have the pick of any job he wants in the NFL if he wants back in, but with talk of potentially taking the helm at North Carolina, it feels like this is something he might actually want.

Perhaps it’s the draw of controlling an entire program. Maybe it’s the connection to his father who once coached at UNC. Maybe it’s to set up his son, Stephen, for a bright future.

While we wait to see if anything comes of this, the rumors got us — and pretty much the rest of the internet — thinking: what would a Belichick recruiting pitch sound like?

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We’ve got this. Let’s break it down, in a one-act play:

INTERIOR: A recruit’s house in Raleigh.

Bill Belichick and an assistant coach enter through the front door. Bill is wearing a UNC hoodie with the sleeves cut off. He ignores the parents holding out their hands for a shake. He sits down in front of the recruit and doesn’t say a word. He removes his Super Bowl rings one by one out of their boxes.

Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

He sits down in front of the recruit and his family, puts the rings on his fingers and holds them up for a full minute. He puts them away, then takes out a photo of his boat VIII Rings and displays it for another minute.

Feb. 22, 2019; Jupiter, FL; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick’s boat, VIII Rings, is docked across the street from Orchids of Asia in Jupiter, Florida. Mandatory Credit: Arnie Rosenberg/Treasure Coast News via USA TODAY NETWORK

“If you stay awake for the entire presentation,” he says in a dull monotone, “you’ve passed the first test.”

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He takes out a clipboard and a pen and asks the player about social media use next, writing down notes with every answer.

“Do you use SnapFace? InstantChat? YourFace? MyFace?”

He tosses a 200-page tome to the recruit.

“You have five minutes to read through that. A pop quiz on coverages, routes and more will follow,” he says.

After the quiz, Belichick turns to the parents.

Eric Canha-USA TODAY Sports

Belichick: “Any questions?”

Mom: “Do you think our son will be a starter by his sophomore year?”

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Belichick: “We’re on to Cincinnati.”

[Mom and Dad exchange a look of pure confusion.]

Dad: “Uh, what kind of NIL opportunities could you see for him?”

Belichick: “We’re gonna keep that in house.”

[Belichick and the parents stare at each other in silence for another minute. He stands up.]

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Belichick turns his attention one final time to the recruit.

“Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your job. Do your j–”

[The UNC assistant coach reaches back and flips the “off” switch on Belichick. He picks up a frozen Belichick, nods at everyone in the room and walks off.]

FIN.



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North Carolina

Police: North Carolina man charged after high-speed chase in Erie County, arrested in the Town of Perry

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Police: North Carolina man charged after high-speed chase in Erie County, arrested in the Town of Perry


PERRY, N.Y. — A North Carolina man is in custody after a chase that started in Erie County and ended with an arrest in Perry.

Wyoming County Sheriff’s deputies say Ericson Vasquez-Moran, 22, rammed a Border Patrol vehicle in Erie County around 11:30 p.m. Tuesday before taking off. The suspect was spotted in Warsaw on Route 20A, but a chase was called off due to high speeds.

Then around 2:30 a.m. Wednesday, deputies say Vasquez-Moran called 911 from Perry to surrender.

He’s charged with speeding, failure to keep right, unlawful fleeing a police officer, reckless driving, and reckless endangerment in the second degree.

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Vasquez-Moran was given an appearance ticket for the Village of Warsaw Court and was released to the custody of the United States Border Patrol.



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Asheville City Council unanimously rejects 100-unit affordable housing project

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Asheville City Council unanimously rejects 100-unit affordable housing project


After nearly two hours of public comment, the Asheville City Council unanimously denied a proposed affordable housing complex off Caribou Road—despite the city’s ongoing housing crisis.

The proposal, submitted by developer Pennrose, would have brought 100 affordable housing units to a nearly 10-acre site in the Shiloh neighborhood.

“I’m going to vote against affordable housing tonight, and that’s not a norm for me,” said Asheville City Councilmember Sage Turner.

AFFORDABLE HOUSING PROJECTS MOVE FORWARD ACROSS WESTERN NORTH CAROLINA

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News 13 asked Vice Mayor Antanette Mosely why the city would deny this project amid a housing crisis in Asheville.

She said, in a statement, “I absolutely believe Asheville needs more affordable housing, and I have consistently supported housing projects across the city. But not every site is appropriate for every project.”

Residents who opposed the project said they were not against affordable housing itself, but believed the development was too large for the area.

MAY 13, 2026 – The Asheville City Council unanimously denied a proposed affordable housing complex off Caribou Road—despite the city’s ongoing housing crisis. (Photo credit: WLOS Staff)

“The access is too narrow, there was only one access point, the streets are too narrow, we’ve got a big problem with traffic here,” said Shiloh resident Scott Raines.

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“Perhaps the only thing that I consider as a dead stop for affordable housing is if people are going to be injured or possibly die from the traffic that’s created,” Michael Boses, another resident, said.

ASHEVILLE PROPOSES PROPERTY TAX RATE INCREASE TO CLOSE $8.9M BUDGET GAP

The Shiloh neighborhood, established in 1870, is one of Asheville’s last historically Black communities. Several council members said preserving the area’s legacy factored into their decision.

“My vote for no is because I feel hyper protective of our legacy neighborhoods, I feel hyper protective of Shiloh,” Turner said.

Pennrose responded to the denial in a statement, saying: “While we are disappointed in the Council’s decision concerning the rezoning application at Caribou Road, we respect the community’s interest in preserving the character of legacy neighborhoods.”

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Asheville only funded 8 Helene homes repairs. That could change soon

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Asheville only funded 8 Helene homes repairs. That could change soon


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ASHEVILLE – The city will consider shifting $19.2 million of its Tropical Storm Helene recovery funding to repair single-family housing after its initial plan would only repair about eight homes.

Across Western North Carolina, contracts for the repair, reconstruction or rehabilitation of single-family homes damaged by Helene have come in at an average cost of $276,285, according to slides presented to the Governor’s Advisory Committee on Western North Carolina Recovery on April 20. The repair program, managed through RenewNC, is funded by a $1.4 billion Community Development Block Grant delivered to North Carolina from the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development.

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In 2024, the North Carolina Office of Budget and Management estimated that over 70,000 homes were damaged by the storm, which caused an estimated $60 billion in damages and killed over 100 in the state.

After the city received its own $225 million grant from HUD, City Council unanimously voted to only allocated $31 million to housing for both multi-family projects and single-family home repairs. Of that $31 million pot, it only allocated $3 million to the single-family home repair program. During a May 5 Housing and Community Development Committee meeting, the city projected costs for just single-family home repairs at $30 million to $40 million.

In late 2025 and early 2026, city staff had suggested moving millions into the single-family home program to meet rising demand, the Citizen Times reported. During an April 1 Helene Housing Recovery Meeting, Director of Renew NC’s Single-Family Housing Program Maggie Battaglin estimated the $3 million in funding would only cover around eight homes.

Under the city’s agreement with the state, Asheville is not able to access the additional $807 million allocated to the single-family home repair program, meaning remaining applicants in Asheville would not be served. The agreement was first reported by Blue Ridge Public Radio.

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Staff are now suggesting reallocating $19.2 million from other areas of its CDBG plan to fund the single-family repair program. The reallocation, which would require an amendment to the city’s plan, would pull $9.2 million from its multi-family housing program and $10 million from its CDBG-DR Infrastructure Program, where the city would pull from the funds from a project at the North Fork Water Treatment Plant. The reallocation would set aside $22.2 million for the program and will serve 55-65 households, according to state estimates presented by city of Asheville staff.

As of May 5, 285 applications for the program were filed in Asheville with 132 being considered “active” and eight being “under review.” Of the city’s applicants, 124 households have been deemed eligible for the RenewNC program.

The reallocation would set aside $22.2 million for the program and serve roughly 55-65 households, the city’s CDBG-DR Program Manager Elma King said during City Council’s May 7 Agenda Briefing. It’s still not enough to serve everyone, though, King said.

“Additional CDBG-DR programs, outside of infrastructure, may need to be re-evaluated to support single-family home repair,” King said.

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As Western North Carolina continues to recover from Helene, lawmakers and regional leaders have pushed for more funding from the federal government. Despite high damages, Congress and FEMA have only distributed roughly $7 billion to the state, according to estimates from the Governor’s Office for Western North Carolina Recovery. Gov. Josh Stein has requested an additional $13.5 billion in federal aid, which would go through HUD’s CDBG-DR program.

Estimated damages in Asheville from Helene are far above the $225 million provided by the federal government, City Council member Kim Roney noted during the May 7 meeting.

“I keep coming back to the point that we don’t have enough funding, because $225 million sounds like a lot but it’s not $1.1 billion,” Roney said.

City Council will vote on the $19.2 million reallocation on June 23.

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Will Hofmann is the Growth and Development Reporter for the Asheville Citizen Times, part of the USA Today Network. Got a tip? Email him at WHofmann@citizentimes.com or message will_hofmann.01 on Signal.



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