Maine
Why it’s so hard for parents to let their kid quit
My 4-year-old dreads swimming lessons. Some nights, long past his bedtime, he calls me into his room and asks me, in a whisper, if he has to go to swim class tomorrow.
It breaks my heart. Swimming is an important safety skill, but the lessons are causing him anxiety. It made me wonder: If he wants to quit, should I let him?
It can be hard for parents to know when a kid is ready to stop taking part in an extracurricular activity. Classes and sports can encourage grit and foster belonging. But for some kids, they can also be a stress-inducing obligation.
Vanessa Lapointe, a child psychologist and parenting coach, understands this dilemma. In these situations, the best thing to do is to avoid rushing to fix the problem. Instead, “get curious, listen and provide the child the experience of being heard.”
Here’s how to have hard conversations with your kids about quitting. Apply the advice to anything from piano lessons to summer camp.
Examine why you care so much. The problem might be you.
When your child says they’re ready to put their clarinet back in its case — and leave it there — the first thing you should do is examine yourself.
If your kid wanting to quit elicits a strong reaction in you, unpack that. “A lot of times our intentions get muddied by our own desires,” says Lapointe. Are you trying to push your unrealized dream of starring in the school play onto your child? Or maybe your family couldn’t swing team sports when you were growing up, so you’re determined your child will have a different experience.
“If your intention is anything other than ‘I want to give my kid a cool experience and see how they like it,’ you’re probably in it for the wrong reasons,” says Lapointe.
Ask your kid what’s going on. You might be surprised by what you learn.
“See what they will verbalize,” says Krystal Lewis, a child psychologist and clinical researcher at the National Institute of Mental Health.
Maybe they just had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. “The rule of thumb is that we never quit on a bad day,” says Lapointe. So if you learn your kid got a smaller role than they wanted in the big school play, let their big emotions settle a bit before making any decisions.
If it’s not just defeat from a bad day, do a little more digging, says Lewis. Ask them: What do you like about the activity? What don’t you like?
Sometimes the issue turns out to be simple. They don’t like soccer because it’s at the end of a long school day and they’re hungry at practice, says Lewis. So maybe packing a few protein-rich snacks could make a difference.
Even if the issue turns out to be more complex — say, they don’t feel excited or passionate about art class — you now have valuable information to inform your troubleshooting.
Pay attention to what your child is complaining about. And observe their behavior.
The younger the child is, the less likely they are able to express their emotions or experiences verbally, says Lewis. So you may need other cues to figure out how your child feels.
Pay attention to your child when they’re complaining, says Lewis. Maybe they’re sensitive to a coach’s raised voice. Or they’re too shy to talk to the other kids. Those are issues you can help fix. Have a conversation with the coach. Encourage a friend to join the team.
If you’re present at your child’s practices or lessons, you might be able to pick up on some of the pain points, says Lewis. If they’re zoning out, maybe they’re burnt out and need more unstructured playtime. If they seem bored, it’s possible this activity just isn’t for them.
Consider your child’s temperament. Are they a dandelion or an orchid?
Every child has a different tolerance for discomfort, and that should be taken into consideration when making a decision about quitting.
Assess their willingness to thrive in a challenging environment. Are they a dandelion or an orchid? This framework was developed by Thomas Boyce, a professor of pediatrics and psychiatry at University of California, San Francisco, to help identify a child’s temperament.
Dandelions are hardy and resilient. “You can plant it in a crack in the cement and forget to water it. And not only will the dandelion survive, it will probably thrive,” says Lapointe.
Orchids are sensitive. “They require just the right amount of water, humidity and temperature. If you don’t get it just right, they don’t adapt.”
One isn’t better than the other, they’re just different. See which flower your child leans toward. If your kid is more of a dandelion, they may be OK in a less-than-perfect setting even if they’re not jazzed about it. If they’re more of an orchid, and you see they’re really struggling, maybe they need a different environment.
Come up with a creative compromise. “Quit” or “tough it out” aren’t the only two options.
“What’s the gray area? What can we modify?” says Lewis. If your kid is bored, could you take a break or cut back on the amount they’re engaging in the activity? If your kid is embarrassed when they strike out, could you practice batting at home?
Then have a conversation with your child about what it means to have made a commitment. Perhaps you say, “Well, since we signed up, we are going to go, but you can sit on the sidelines and watch,” says Lewis. “That way you’re teaching the child about honoring a commitment without forcing them to do something that’s really uncomfortable.”
As for my son and his fear of swim class, my husband and I did some investigating. We asked him what was up. It turns out he was terrified of putting his head under water! So we talked to the coach and they agreed he didn’t have to go under during class.
Of course, you need to get your head wet to swim. My son eventually overcame his fear months later, when we were playing in the pool with his cousins.
Now, he routinely dunks himself during swim class. He literally takes his hand, puts it on the back of his head, and pushes himself underwater. And he loves being in the water. Turns out all he needed was a little time.
Even if we ended up needing to take a break from swimming for a while, I think I would have been OK with that, too. Lapointe says that we as parents shouldn’t put too much pressure on ourselves in situations like these. “In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t actually a big thing.”
The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual editor is Becky Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.
Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or sign up for our newsletter.
Copyright 2024 NPR
Maine
Key takeaways from Maine’s new climate action plan
The Maine Climate Council is scheduled to release the state’s new climate action plan on Thursday, delivering an ambitious blueprint for how policymakers can accelerate the state’s transition to a clean energy economy and prepare for the impacts of climate change.
The plan, approved by the council at its October meeting, builds on the state’s original 2020 plan, Maine Won’t Wait. But the updated version focuses more than its predecessor on adaptations to the changing climate, building and industrial energy efficiency, and ensuring that all Mainers benefit from the climate actions outlined in the plan.
The plan doesn’t include many specific cost estimates, but notes that the cost of doing nothing would be much higher. It cites the $90 million in public infrastructure damage caused by last winter’s back-to-back storms, the kind of extreme weather events projected to become more frequent and ferocious due to climate change.
The report identifies potential sources of funding to implement its recommendations, including the state budget, federal grants from the Inflation Reduction Act, private investment in clean energy projects, green bonds to finance climate-related projects and even implementation of a carbon pricing mechanism.
The plan now heads to Gov. Janet Mills, who appointed the first Maine Climate Council and will be on hand Thursday for the report’s release, and the Legislature, which is likely to consider some of these proposals in the upcoming legislative session.
Here are the major takeaways of Maine Won’t Wait 2.0.
• Maine’s ambitious emission reduction goals are reaffirmed.
The updated plan lays out how the state can help prevent the Earth from overheating by sticking to its original greenhouse gas goals: cut carbon emissions by 45% from 1990 levels by 2030 and by 80% by 2050, and achieve carbon neutrality by 2045.
• The plan prioritizes the rapid expansion of renewable energy sources, such as solar, wind, and hydropower, with an aim to reduce the state’s reliance on burning fossil fuels that create heat-trapping greenhouse gases.
It also maintains the state’s previous goal to generate 80% electricity from renewable sources by 2030. Maine is at 55% now.
• Maine will continue to promote the widespread adoption of electric vehicles, including cars, trucks and buses, to reduce transportation-related emissions. But the shift to electrified transportation would occur at a slower pace than laid out in the first climate action plan.
The state’s new goal calls for 150,000 light-duty EVs and 3,000 heavy-duty EVs on the roads by 2030. The 2020 plan called for 219,000 light-duty and 5,000 heavy-duty EVs, but the state has fallen short of those goals. Maine currently has 17,492 electric vehicles.
To reduce “range anxiety” – the concern that there is not enough charging capacity to support longe trips – the plan calls for creating 700 publicly funded fast-charging EV ports by 2028. Maine now has 273.
• The new plan emphasizes efficiency measures in buildings and industries to cut energy consumption. It encourages clean heating and cooling methods, such as a heat pump system, and adoption of new building codes and efficiency standards.
New goals include reducing commercial building energy demand by 10% by 2030, improving industrial process efficiency by 1% a year by 2030 and weatherizing 35,000 homes by 2030. Maine has weatherized 11,472 to date.
• While calling for measures to slow climate change, the plan also emphasizes the need to prepare for the inevitable impacts, including sea-level rise, extreme weather events, and coastal erosion, and the need to protect critical infrastructure, natural resources and communities.
It includes strategies to protect Maine’s coastal communities and the working waterfront from sea-level rise and storm surges, such as elevating infrastructure, restoring coastal ecosystems, the use of incentives and fast-track permits, and new flood control measures.
• The plan promotes carbon sequestration as part of the solution by recognizing the key role of Maine forests, wetlands and eel grass beds in trapping carbon and keeping the greenhouse gas out of the atmosphere. It promotes the purchase, protection and restoration of such carbon sinks.
• Equity and social justice will be factored into the state’s responses to climate change. The plan emphasizes the importance of ensuring that the benefits of climate action are shared across all communities in Maine and addresses the disproportionate impact of climate change on marginalized communities.
The plan includes a number of goals to achieve by 2030, including 40,000 heat pumps installed in low-income households, 10,000 low- to middle-income homes weatherized and the creation of 1,500 energy-efficient affordable housing units. It also calls for EV rebates, rooftop solar installations or community solar projects and resilience grants to be directed to less affluent households and communities.
• The plan identifies opportunities to create green jobs to spark economic growth through investments in clean energy, energy efficiency and climate resilience.
It sets a new goal to create 30,000 clean energy jobs by 2030. Maine has 15,557 now.
• More forests, wetlands and working farms would be protected from development to offset the state’s carbon emissions, provide wildlife habitat and clean water, and help the tourism and natural resource industries. Maine has struggled to fund land acquisition at the rate sought by the council.
The plan maintains the 2020 goal to conserve 30% of Maine lands by 2030. A little more than 22.2% of lands in Maine are protected now. Maine now conserves about 50,000 acres a year, but would need to protect 250,000 more acres a year if it hopes to hit that goal.
Maine
Report says children's mental health, education and labor force growth will impact Maine's economy
In it’s annual report released Wednesday, the Maine Economic Growth Council identified children’s mental health, education and labor force growth as several challenge areas facing Maine’s economy. The council said high housing and energy costs are also concerns.
The annual Measures of Growth report identifies where the Maine economy is improving and where there is still more work to do compared to other states across the country.
Yellow Light Breen, President of the Maine Development Foundation, a public-private organization focused on improving Maine’s economy, said the drop in elementary and middle school students test scores are most concerning to him.
“If we really want to have well educated 20-year-olds, 30-year-olds and 40-year-olds in the Maine of the future, we have to do right by them in preschool and in early elementary,” Breen said.
According to the report, the state is doing well in the areas of internet connectivity, improved roadways and limited increases in greenhouse gas emissions and forestland removal.
Maine
Tom's of Maine toothpaste tainted with bacteria, says U.S. Food and Drug Administration | CBC News
A recent inspection of a Tom’s of Maine facility found that the company’s toothpaste was made using bacteria-tained water, among other serious health violations, according to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.
In a warning letter to CEO Noel Wallace, the FDA said the inspection uncovered disease-causing bacteria in water used to make Tom’s Simply White Clean Mint Paste. The water was sampled between June 2021 to Oct. 2022.
The company uncovered a different bacteria in its Wicked Cool! Anticavity Toothpaste, and justified the bacteria as “sample contamination” without sufficient evidence, the FDA said.
An agency investigator also found a mould-like substance near a water storage tank at the company’s facility in Sanford, Maine, and a powdery residue on a surface near a station where Tom’s Silly Strawberry Anticavity was being made.
The FDA letter said that the facility’s water system is inadequate and that the company needs a better complaints system to address consumer concerns.
“For example, approximately 400 complaints related to [odour], [colour], and taste in your toothpaste products, including those for children, were not investigated,” the letter read.
“These complaints are not investigated because your procedure requires an investigation only if a trend is identified.”
The agency added that the violations outlined in the letter were not intended as an exhaustive list, and that it’s the company’s responsibility to identify the cause of violations and prevent them from recurring.
Tom’s of Maine is a natural personal care brand owned by household products giant Colgate-Palmolive. CBC News reached out to the company for a statement.
“We’re working with the FDA and are remedying the issues raised in their May inspection of the Tom’s toothpaste manufacturing plant in Sanford, Maine,” a spokesperson said.
“We have always tested finished goods before they leave our control, and we remain fully confident in the safety and quality of the toothpaste we make.”
CBC News also reached out to several retailers to ask if they carry any of the products mentioned in the letter.
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