Lifestyle
Why Fashion Is Maxing Out on Minimalism
When you get dressed for the day and look at yourself in the mirror, is self-criticism the outfit that always seems to fit best?
Los Angeles-based stylist Sophie Strauss, a self-described “stylist for regular people,” wants to change that. She helps her clients find clothes that make them feel confident, comfortable and stylish. One step to getting there is to reframe how they talk about their clothes in relation to their bodies, she says.
People often assume that it’s their fault that their clothes don’t look good on them, says Strauss. But that’s not true. “You’re not failing the shirt. The shirt is failing you.”
So if you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk in the dressing room, take a moment to flip the narrative around, says Strauss. Here are positive and constructive ways to tackle common style complaints.
“I have nothing to wear!”
To start your fashion refresh, take inventory of the clothes you own and identify what makes you feel good.
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People often say this when they feel stuck or bored with their style, says Strauss. But instead of immediately buying a new outfit, look at this as an opportunity to reexamine your wardrobe.
Try on all the clothes in your closet to identify pieces that make you feel good — or simply forgot about, like that sparkly 80s number in the back of your closet. You might be surprised by just how much you have to work with.
Then get creative. Tuck, tie, cuff, roll, belt, layer, cinch. Try wearing a maxi skirt as a dress, then belting it around your waistline. Style your button-down shirts as a layering piece. Strauss says people forget all the ways you can alter clothing to play with its look and feel.
“This outfit isn’t flattering”
If you don’t think an outfit looks “flattering” on you, don’t blame your body, blame the clothing. That can help you find pieces that make you feel more comfortable.
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Comments like “this isn’t flattering” or “this outfit isn’t doing me any favors” are usually code that your clothing isn’t slimming or age-appropriate, says Strauss. And that puts the fault on your body, not the clothing.
So put that onus back on the outfit. Start by saying, “I don’t like this.” Then, unpack why that might be — and get specific. Is the neckline choking you? Is the fabric too itchy? You may realize your outfit isn’t “doing you any favors” because the garment is tight or the material is uncomfortable. And maybe that means swapping out that garment for something you do like.
“I could never pull off that look”
If you’re worried about taking a fashion risk, take baby steps. Practice wearing garments you love (but are nervous about) to low-stakes locales, like the grocery store.
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A woman is walking down the street in an all-white getup. You think to yourself, dang, I wish I could pull off the monochrome look.
Anyone can take fashion risks. It just takes confidence, and that’s something you can build, says Strauss. Find low-stakes opportunities to wear a garment you love but feel nervous about. Rock that glittery new top at the grocery store or that groovy pink wig at your favorite cafe. The more you practice wearing it out, the less scary it’ll feel.
“My outfit isn’t unique enough”
Personal style is about being intentional, not about being the most interesting looking person on the street.
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“There seems to be this misconception that personal style is a race to be the most unique person on the street,” says Strauss.
But personal style is about making the right choices for yourself. If you feel most comfortable running errands in a T-shirt and jeans, you’re doing it right. If you want to wear a feather-trimmed hot pink blazer to feel like the special person you are on your birthday, that’s OK too.
“Help! I feel like this doesn’t match”
There is no rule book on personal style. If it looks good to you, it doesn’t matter if it “matches.”
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Strauss says clients will often come to her looking for concrete guidelines on how to dress. Do these shoes match with this outfit? Am I supposed to wear a belt with these pants?
If you feel any kind of pressure about the right and wrong ways to dress, that’s not style — that’s marketing, says Strauss. Personal style doesn’t have a rule book.
“Style is the expression of your preferences and personality through your clothes,” she says. That means no one else but you can decide if the shoes match your outfit or if your pants need a belt – so rock what feels good to you.
This episode of Life Kit was produced by Clare Marie Schneider. The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual producer is Beck Harlan.
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‘Saturday Night’ feeds on the energy, and insanity, of the first ever ‘SNL’ broadcast This expertly cast film captures the rehearsals and the logistics that lead up to opening night. It’s a nonstop joy ride — and a testament to the adage that the show must go on.
“I don’t want to go.”
“I get it.”
I was on the phone with my emotional support friend Jill, who was trying to pump me up to meet someone new despite her awareness of my latest soul-crushing connections. “You have had a challenging run lately, but you never know when it might turn around,” she said.
The idealist in me wanted to believe Jill could be right, but the realist in me wasn’t convinced. Despite delving into the app dating world in my early 50s with zero expectations and vowing not to be attached to any specific outcomes, I had grown weary from the process. But I was wearing heels and makeup and I’d blown out my hair in an effort that had felt Herculean ever since COVID. It would have been a shame for it all to go to waste.
I was meeting a date at Hugo’s in West Hollywood at 5:30 p.m. I left late because I was procrastinating, and then, thanks to L.A. traffic, got there at 5:45 p.m.
When I finally arrived after texting to let him know of my delay, I rushed up, trying to pull myself together. “I am so sorry.”
“Hi, you made it.” He got up for a quick hug and then walked behind me as I tried to figure out what was happening. He pulled my chair out for me. I acted as though this was an everyday occurrence. It definitely was not.
I had quickly learned to be prepared for dates to look worse than their worst profile picture; he looked even better than his best picture. The cynic in me was still on high alert for the red flags that were inevitably coming, but he was warm, with an easygoing demeanor, and very comfortable in his own skin. It turns out he was a very sought-after golf instructor who luckily didn’t care that I had never played.
“I like that you just reached over and ate one of my potatoes.” He was smiling and seemed genuinely pleased that I had done so. I hadn’t even realized I had scarfed down one of his potatoes, let alone without asking.
“I never do that. I must feel comfortable,” I said. Someone eating off my plate definitely annoyed me in most situations, but this felt different. I’m pretty sure I would have given him all of my potatoes had he maneuvered his fork in my direction. After he went to put money in the parking meter and actually came back, I was relieved. He later told me he was relieved I was still there when he returned.
“Am I talking too much?” I asked. I sometimes did that when I had nervous energy. “Not at all. I like learning about you,” he said.
He told me he had been in an almost 25-year marriage and, other than a few recent Bumble dates, he hadn’t dated since 1989. When he said he had no idea what he was doing, I told him I had been dating a lot recently and he was doing better than 99.9% of the men out there. I told him I hadn’t been in a relationship in almost 20 years, having prioritized my career for many years.
I was used to being interrogated about never having been married, but he didn’t seem to judge my choices. I told him about some of the most egregious dating offenses I had endured: he who suggested that we dine and dash and didn’t seem to be kidding, he who asked for business contacts after I declined a second date, he who took home my leftovers on the first date, he who contorted his body to go in for a kiss as I very pointedly went in for a hug. I could’ve continued late into the night.
He laughed and told me about his more run-of-the-mill dates, with whom he just hadn’t felt any romantic connection. One had cats, which would have been problematic since he was highly allergic. One might have been a hoarder.
It was quickly evident that we shared a similar sense of humor and prioritized the same attributes, such as honesty, kindness and a propensity for always trying to do the right thing. I also was pleasantly surprised that he ordered an iced tea; I had stopped drinking alcohol a month before.
He told me he went on Bumble on a whim because it scared him, which I admired. It was endearing that he had stepped outside his comfort zone, especially after not having dated since he was 21. After talking for more than three hours, he walked me to my car.
He gave me a quick hug, opened my car door and said, “Talk to you soon” — and then quickly walked away after patting me on the shoulder. It was the best first date I’d ever had, but the “Talk to you soon” really threw me. Was this a blow-off?
Later, while I was obsessively pondering whether I would ever hear from him again, he texted to make sure I got home safely. “I failed to tell you how great you looked tonight. I hope you can forgive me. I’m falling on my sword.” This could have felt cheesy, and yet I melted, a testament to his genuineness.
The next day I went on a horrible first coffee date that had been previously scheduled. It lasted 40 minutes, about 37 minutes too long. When I got to my car, I found Mr. Perfect First Date had texted again. “I’m sure there’s some stupid rule about texting you today, but I wanted you to know I had a really good time last night,” he wrote.
“In that case, should I have waited at least five hours to text you back?” I replied.
“Ha, yes, and I shouldn’t be sending you this response right now.”
“Should we agree that we don’t have to play by any rules?” I asked.
I was so tired from all the complicated dating noise that seemed to persist even at my age, so I was relieved he wasn’t playing games.
“Yes, please, “ he replied.
“Perfect, we just solved all the world’s problems.”
I didn’t hear from him for a couple of hours and then: “The next challenge is me asking you out again. Forward of me I know.”
“Let me think about it,” I teased. I let about a minute pass. “Kidding, yes, that would be lovely.”
“Phew, I was worried.”
We still don’t play by any rules. And I still don’t know anything about golf.
The author is new to writing after more than 20 years as a creative executive in the entertainment industry. She lives in Los Angeles with Mr. Perfect First Date. She’s on Instagram: @jobethplatt
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
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