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What’s it like to take a $249 drug-free psychedelic trip? We found out

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What’s it like to take a $249 drug-free psychedelic trip? We found out

I’m conversant in magic mushrooms from again within the day. I took them a pair instances in faculty — together with on a very memorable Halloween — and totally loved the expertise. So I used to be interested in a Santa Monica-based startup known as the Actuality Heart that’s been attempting to increase the thoughts and help in therapeutic the physique through digital psychedelics — a proprietary mixture of pulsing lights, sounds and vibrations — as an alternative of consuming medication.

Psilocybin, the energetic ingredient in magic mushrooms, is having fun with a peak pop-culture reputation not seen because the Seventies. Though unlawful on the federal degree, its consciousness-altering properties have proven promise in serving to to deal with PTSD, despair, anxiousness and dependancy. And just lately I’ve heard Angelenos at cocktail events swapping tales about their adventures in microdosing mushrooms (taking extraordinarily small quantities) as casually as they may have mentioned hashish a decade in the past.

Using psilocybin mushrooms was legalized in Oregon in 2020 and decriminalized in Colorado as of January, however current efforts to offer related entry to Californians have to date been unsuccessful (although a handful of cities — together with San Francisco, Oakland and Santa Cruz — have handed resolutions successfully decriminalizing magic mushrooms).

For Angelenos, which means experimenting with psychedelic medication requires breaking the regulation or taking a visit — as in an precise bodily one — to one of many above shroom-friendly locales.

That made the thought of taking a authorized psychedelic journey proper right here in Southern California (even beneath the guise of “sensory wellness”) interesting, although the value tag — $249 for a 60-minute session — gave me pause. Might a drug-free drug journey be value that a lot? Particularly when in comparison with the price of magic mushrooms within the decriminalized market? (Shelby Hartman, co-founder and editor-in-chief of L.A.-based psychedelics-focused journal DoubleBlind, stated an eighth of an oz. of complete, dried psilocybin mushrooms — sufficient for a severe journey — is at present “someplace round $40 to $50.” Which means flying round-trip to Denver and munching magic mushrooms the old style method could be about the identical value as an hour-long digital journey.)

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But when the Actuality Heart’s magic know-how actually might alter somebody’s consciousness the best way magic mushrooms or different psychedelic compounds might, particularly over a number of classes (the corporate says the advantages improve over a number of classes), possibly the outcomes — therapeutic or leisure — could be value each consciousness-expanding penny. There was just one solution to discover out.

I booked an hour-long session (and used a promo code for brand new prospects, saving me $50 off my first session) through the Actuality Heart’s web site, after which crammed out two follow-up paperwork together with a medical waiver (testifying that I didn’t have any implanted medical gadgets, photosensitivity or epilepsy). The opposite was a sort of New-Agey questionnaire that requested about my targets for the session, my astrological signal and my least-favorite coloration.

The principle room on the Actuality Heart in Santa Monica has a fitness-studio-meets-high-tech-rave vibe.

(The Actuality Heart)

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A couple of days later, I used to be on a bustling stretch of Santa Monica’s Second Avenue, the place the portal to expanded consciousness seemed to be sandwiched between a hostel and a sizzling yoga studio. I discovered 4 different adventurous spirits have been already queued up exterior.

We have been all ushered inside a dimly lit cluster of rooms by Tarun Raj and Jonathan Chia. (The previous an artist and inventor and the latter a U.S. Military fight veteran, they co-founded the corporate with Benji Tucker and Don Estes.) The most important of the rooms contained in the Actuality Heart felt like a classy Hollywood health area arrange inside a high-tech recording studio with a handful of therapeutic massage tables within the center, a trippy wall-sized video display on one aspect and a rave-worthy stack of audio and visible gear topped with a pc display on the opposite.

“What we’re doing is form of like neuroscience DJing,” Raj stated after somebody identified the gear’s resemblance to a DJ setup. He defined that the function of the particular person behind the controls (often called the “actuality supervisor”) is to make use of the assorted sensory inputs to, in his phrases, “jump-start” the thoughts and physique and transfer it towards a near-meditative state. It’s an strategy primarily based on Estes’ idea of sensory resonance, which posits that the physique’s autonomic nervous system can primarily be “reset” by synchronizing all the main sensory mechanisms collectively — visible, aural and vibrational.

The foursome of aspiring psychonauts I’d arrived with could be launching from this room, which Chia stated can accompany teams of as much as eight individuals at a time.

Smaller rooms across the periphery have been arrange for various eventualities. One area was for vocal evaluation (which incorporates making a sort of visible voice print designed that will help you amplify and manifest your intent), one for post-session integration, one for a two-person expertise (“Like when {couples} get a therapeutic massage collectively,” Chia stated) and one for the Wavetable expertise. It was this final room that was to be my departure lounge.

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Chia, who was my session’s actuality supervisor, first requested me to take away my sneakers and glasses and lie down on what appeared — and felt like — a therapeutic massage desk with a foot-thick soft-sided waterbed layered over prime. He defined that the mineral-heavy liquid contained in the squishy layer was designed to imitate that of the human physique. As I ready to take my journey, Chia shared somewhat little bit of his personal.

A graphic rendering of person laying on a table wearing headphones.

A graphic rendering of the Actuality Heart’s Wavetable, which features a layer of mineral-heavy liquid that vibrates throughout the session.

(The Actuality Heart)

As a navy veteran, he had initially tried to deal with his post-traumatic stress by self-medicating with medication and alcohol. His path to sensory wellness started after Raj, a longtime pal, launched him to the therapeutic energy of reiki. Quick-forward to January 2022 when, having joined forces with Tucker and Estes, the Actuality Heart turned a actuality.

My session began with Chia main me by some easy respiration workouts. Then he requested me to think about myself in considered one of my favourite locations (I pictured a mossy, wooded glen close to my household house in Vermont) surrounded by the individuals who have been essential in my life (I imagined my household — a era in every route — with everybody sporting white like within the Season 1 finale of “Fashionable Household”). “You’re rooted like a sequoia,” he stated calmly into my headset, “sturdy and reaching up towards the sky.”

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From right here on out, issues bought subsequent degree fairly shortly. With my eyes firmly closed, I might full-on “see” the pulsing lights positioned simply inches from my face — largely cascading, melting and swirling whorls of coloration. Chanting, tinkling bells and crashing waves swelled into my headphones concurrently rumbling and vibrating elevated on all sides of me. Sometimes, I might hear calming spoken-word snippets (“We discover one ember. And really gently we fan that ember. Blow on it, it will get brighter. And from that ember we rebuild the hearth …”).

Perhaps midway by, I turned unmoored — indifferent as if I’d abruptly been reduce free from a parasailing tether I didn’t know I’d been linked to my complete life. I had the feeling of hurtling by area. When waves crashed in my ears in live performance with the rumbling beneath me and the rippling patterns lit up my optic nerves, it appeared as if I used to be nothing however sand passing by a actuality sieve, all my constituent molecules dissolving on the waterline of an enormous ocean.

I used to be one with the swirling fractal rainbow aura on the heart of the universe and, for a short second, it felt as if I used to be staring backward by time to watch my very own swirling double-helix strands of DNA taking form out of the cosmic soup of nothingness. I felt sizzling tears properly into the corners of scrunched-shut eyes. They have been tears of gratitude, tears of abruptly feeling at peace, as if only for a nanosecond I’d been fortunate sufficient to get a glimpse behind the scenes, to peek on the run-of-show highway map of the universe and see the place my dust-speck self match into it.

Finally, the sound, the pulsing lights and the vibrations started to ebb. As I as soon as once more turned conscious of my environment, I heard Chia’s voice urging me to take a couple of deep, centering breaths.

As I sat up, issues appeared that sort of clean-windshield completely different you’re feeling after a very good remedy session. I had the sense that many hours had handed, although Chia assured me solely 56 minutes had elapsed since I had eliminated my sneakers and glasses. As I left the Actuality Heart and walked throughout the road to my automotive, the solar felt brighter.

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Was it my creativeness or did the summary design painted over the financial institution of elevators actually appear like the fractals I’d simply seen from behind closed eyes? And was that the throaty rumble of passing vehicles synchronizing with the almost imperceptible vibrations in my photo voltaic plexus?

A few of these emotions may very well be a sort of immediate-post-experience placebo impact, however a full week later I nonetheless noticed issues — giant and small — that remind me of that mid-session second after I appeared the universe proper within the all-seeing eye and noticed it wink at me. I see it within the hummingbirds flitting previous my window, hear it within the gurgle of my emptying dishwasher and really feel it within the vibration of the cellphone in my pocket.

So, yeah, the journey was properly definitely worth the ticket value for me. And listed below are a number of the reason why it may be value it for you too.

That is in all probability the most important upside of taking a technodelic journey. Even if you happen to go to a spot the place psilocybin has been decriminalized beneath state (or metropolis) regulation, its standing as a Schedule 1 drug on the federal degree will make it a nonstarter for many individuals. (And tripping whereas preserving one eye open for the person isn’t precisely stress-free.) That’s not a difficulty with digital psychedelics. Until you occur to stay someplace the place music, pulsing lights and vibrating therapeutic massage tables are towards the regulation — through which case you’ve bought extra issues than psychedelics can clear up.

2. $249 is the ceiling — not the ground

The value I paid was for one of many dearer experiences: a 60-minute session on the waterbed-like Wavetable. Additionally on supply are half-hour classes with the identical set-up (for $149) and a few choices that swap out the squishy layer of mineral-heavy liquid for a vibrating therapeutic massage desk (one hour for $99, a half-hour for $59). That’s not together with any potential first-timer reductions just like the promo code that shaved $50 off my maiden voyage.

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The price of a session might drop all the best way to zero if you happen to’re a qualifying navy veteran. Based on Chia, because it opened final 12 months, the middle has offered free therapies to 250 veterans and their households and discounted companies for one more 50. ( veterans ought to attain out to the Actuality Heart by its web site for extra info.)

Four people on massage tables wearing headphones in a room bathed in purple light

A bunch session beneath method on the Actuality Heart in Santa Monica.

(The Actuality Heart)

3. It’s super-convenient

The size of a drug-induced journey depends upon lots of components. When you ingest magic mushrooms, you’re primarily reserving a four- to six-hour flight with some lingering results that may be felt lengthy after that. Whenever you go the digital route, an hour-long session is simply that, making it attainable for over-scheduled Angelenos to wedge this strategy to sensory wellness into their lives as simply as reserving a therapeutic massage or taking a yoga class. (The day I visited the middle, one of many foursome I arrived with at 11 a.m. stated: “I’ve bought to be someplace at quarter of 12, will that be OK?” It completely was.)

4. It may be an actual journey

I used to be shocked that the digital journey felt a lot just like the analog ones I remembered from my faculty days. Most acquainted have been the trippy visuals (although right here by closed eyes as an alternative of open ones) — the mid-trip epiphany, the belief that we’re insignificant specks of mud and integral elements of the nice cosmic sport plan on the similar time.

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5. Take into account it pre-flight for a deeper dive

Doubleblind editor in chief Hartman stated digital psychedelics — not simply the therapies provided on the Actuality Heart but additionally digital actuality and augmented actuality experiences within the area — will also be beneficial for in any other case unprepared first-time psychonauts.

“I feel for certain what they will do is give individuals a way of what the sensorial expertise of being on a psychedelic may be like,” Hartman stated. “Particularly relating to visuals. When you haven’t carried out a psychedelic through which you’ve had a robust visible expertise, it’s very arduous to grasp what that’s like — it may be profound and it may be overwhelming.” She defined that the sort of drug-free drug journeys served up by the Actuality Heart can provide individuals an eye-opening sense of what they’re in for if and once they embark on an old-school psychedelic journey.

6. The underside line

As a result of the pop-culture ascendancy of the magic mushroom is all however assured (one other invoice to decriminalize psyilocybin in California was launched late final 12 months), the Actuality Heart’s largest worth could also be that it’s not simply giving us a glimpse inside ourselves however on the future too.

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Lifestyle

'Star Trek: Discovery' ends as an underappreciated TV pioneer

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'Star Trek: Discovery' ends as an underappreciated TV pioneer

Sonequa Martin-Green as Michael Burnham.

Michael Gibson/Paramount+


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Michael Gibson/Paramount+

First, an admission: Though this column will offer a lot of discussion and defense of Star Trek: Discovery as a pivotal show, it won’t spend much time talking up the series’ current, final season or its finale episode, “Life, Itself,” dropping Thursday on Paramount+.

That’s because, for this critic, the last few seasons of Discovery have been a bit bogged down by the stuff that has always made it a tough sell as a Trek series: overly ambitious, serialized storylines that aren’t compelling; new characters and environments that don’t impress; plot twists which can be maddening in their lack of logic; big storytelling swings which can be confusing and predictable at once.

The show’s finale features the culmination of a sprawling scavenger hunt which found the crew of the starship Discovery bounding all over the place, searching for clues leading to a powerful technology pioneered by an alien race which created humanoid life throughout the galaxy. Their goal was to grab the technology before another race, ruthless and aggressive, could beat them to it, laying waste to everything.

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It’s no spoiler to reveal that Discovery’s heroes avoid that nightmarish scenario, wrapping its fifth and final season with a conclusion centered on Sonequa Martin-Green’s ever-resourceful Capt. Michael Burnham and fond resolutions for a multitude of supporting characters (there’s even a space wedding!)

Still, this good-enough ending belies Discovery’s status as a pioneering show which helped Paramount+ build a new vision for Star Trek in modern television – breaking ground that more creatively successful series like Star Trek: Picard and Star Trek: Strange New Worlds would follow years later.

And it all began with a singular character: Michael Burnham.

A take on Star Trek for modern TV

Discovery debuted in 2017 on CBS All Access — the streaming service which would become Paramount+ — facing a serious challenge.

As the first new Trek series in a dozen years, it had to chart a path which offered a new vision of the franchise without going too far — carving out a new corner in the universe of Capt. Kirk and Mr. Spock not long after the release of Star Trek Beyond, the third feature film produced by J. J. Abrams featuring rebooted versions of those classic characters.

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Producers set Discovery’s story 10 years before the days of Kirk and Spock (originally depicted on NBC for three seasons starting way back in 1966). The new series wouldn’t be centered on a starship captain, but its second in command: Burnham, a Black woman who also happened to be the hitherto unknown adopted daughter of Vulcan ambassador Sarek, Spock’s father (she would get promoted to captain of Discovery much later).

A Black human woman who was raised among the emotionally controlling, super-intellectual Vulcans? Who Trek fans had never heard of over nearly 60 years? Before I actually saw any episodes, my own feelings ranged from cautiously intrigued to cynically pessimistic.

But then I saw the first episode, which had an amazing early scene: Martin-Green as Burnham and Michelle Yeoh as Discovery Capt. Philippa Georgiou walking across an alien planet – two women of color marking the first step forward for Star Trek on a new platform.

People once sidelined in typical science fiction stories were now centerstage — a thrilling, historic moment.

Michelle Yeoh as Captain Philippa Georgiou and Sonequa Martin-Green as First Officer Michael Burnham in the very first episode of Star Trek: Discovery.

Michelle Yeoh as Captain Philippa Georgiou and Sonequa Martin-Green as First Officer Michael Burnham in the very first episode of Star Trek: Discovery.

Jan Thijs/CBS

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And it got better from there. Back in the day, Trek writers often felt hamstrung by creator Gene Roddenberry’s insistence that, in the future depicted by the show, humans were beyond social ills like greed, prejudice, sexism, war, money and personal friction. The writers chafed, wondering: How in the world do you build compelling stories on a starship where interpersonal human conflict doesn’t exist?

But Discovery found a workaround, putting Burnham in a position where logic led her to mutiny against her captain, attempting a strategy which ultimately failed — leaving humans in open combat with the legendarily warlike Klingons. Discovery also featured a long storyline which played out over an entire season, unlike many earlier Trek shows which tried to offer a new adventure every week.

The show’s first season had plenty of action, with Harry Potter alum Jason Isaacs emerging as a compelling and unique starship captain (saying more would be a spoiler; log onto Paramount+ and check out the first season). Fans saw a new vision for Trek technology, leveraging sleek, visceral special effects and action sequences worthy of a big budget movie, with design elements cribbed from several of the franchise’s films.

Later in its run, Discovery would debut Ethan Peck as Spock and Anson Mount as Christopher Pike, classic Trek characters who eventually got their own acclaimed series in Strange New Worlds. So far, five other Trek series have emerged on Paramount+ from ideas initially incubated on Discovery – including a critically acclaimed season of Picard which reunited the cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Not bad for a series one TV critic eventually called among “the worst in the [Trek] franchise’s history.”

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Discovery’s unappreciated legacy

Unfortunately, Discovery has taken some turns which didn’t work out quite so well. At the end of Discovery’s second season, the starship jumped ahead in time nine centuries – perhaps to remove it from Strange New World’s timeline? – placing it in an environment only distantly connected to classic Trek.

And while Discovery initially seemed cautious about referencing classic Trek in its stories, later series like Strange New Worlds and Picard learned the value of diving into the near-60-year-old franchise’s legacy – regularly tapping the show’s longtime appeal, rather than twisting into knots to avoid it.

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There are likely fans of Discovery who would disagree with this analysis. But I think it helps explain why the series has never quite gotten its due in the world of Star Trek, initially shaded by skeptical fans and later overshadowed by more beloved products.

Now is the perfect time to pay tribute to a show which actually accomplished quite a lot – helping prove that Roddenberry’s brainchild still has a lot of narrative juice left in the 21st Century.

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Lifestyle

10 drops, pop-ups and L.A. events to break through that June gloom

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10 drops, pop-ups and L.A. events to break through that June gloom

Prada Galleria

Who doesn’t love a fresh take on a classic? The Prada Galleria, a bag first created in 2007, is back with reimagined surface and structure — including a new calfskin exterior and nappa interior, gold-plated metal hardware and extremely Prada embellishments including micro-studs and 3-D floral blooms. The new Galleria in soft grain leather offers a flexible and comfortable canvas for an array of precious details. Now available in black and warm neutrals. prada.com

Toteme opens on Melrose

The spare white interior of a retail boutique.

Quiet luxury continues its reign in L.A. with the opening of Toteme on Melrose. The Swedish brand known for its archetypal Scandinavian style — making the kind of pieces that have been worn by Hailey Bieber and, undoubtedly, her L.A. cronies — establishes a new flagship space with a focus on art and design. The store houses Toteme staples like the embroidered scarf jacket, and also is home to the brand’s pre-fall ’24 collection, featuring airy button-ups and coats in whimsical colors and prints like olive green and leopard. Two low-slung greige sofas by Josef Frank for Svenskt Tenn serve as the nucleus of the sleek space, with artwork by prominent Swedish female artists — curated by Toteme’s owners — throughout. Now open. 8910 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood. toteme.com

The L.A. Yearbook at the Black Image Center

The LA Yearbook at the Black Image Center.
The LA Yearbook at the Black Image Center.
The LA Yearbook at the Black Image Center.

(Red Eye Creative Marketing)

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“Innovation studio” SEEDS and creative agency Red Eye Creative team up to host the L.A. Yearbook, a social mixer connecting L.A.’s creative world at the Black Image Center on June 15 from 3 to 8 p.m. Serving as a West Coast follow-up to the Brooklyn Yearbook, the evening is meant to be steeped in nostalgia, encouraging attendees to get their headshots taken in the style of a high school picture day. The photos will be compiled into a physical yearbook after the event, offering a physical snapshot of L.A.’s creative scene at this moment in time. 3209 La Cienega Ave., Culver City. @thelayearbook

‘Fotos y Recuerdos: Guatemala in Los Ángeles’ at Oxy Arts

A photo collage features an old bus, headshots, a potted plant, a store interior and more

In collaboration with Las Fotos Project, Oxy Arts hosts the summer exhibition “Fotos y Recuerdos: Guatemala in Los Ángeles” through July 20. With a focus on image making and archives through the lens of the Guatemalan diaspora in L.A., the exhibition highlights more than100 photos from community members’ personal archives, showcasing interconnectedness, plus the importance of documentation and preservation in communities of color. 4757 York Blvd., Los Angeles. oxyarts.oxy.edu; lasfotosproject.org

‘The Theater’ by -ism and Brendan Lynch

"The Theater," a coffee table book by L.A. artist Brendan Lynch.
Colorful abstract paintings in "The Theater," a coffee table book by L.A. artist Brendan Lynch.

(Brendan Lynch)

Relive artist Brendan Lynch’s spring exhibition at Good Mother Gallery with a coffee table book that gives you insight into the Angeleno’s brain. The book, titled “The Theater” after the exhibition, is published and designed by independent publishing house -ism and takes us behind the scenes into a show that aims to bring the background to the forefront. The book, with its linen hardcover and white foil emboss, reveals the layers behind Lynch’s paintings, which depict “a controlled chaos of scenes picked from theatre, film, and pop media, challenge perceptions and invite a deeper engagement with the unseen,” says the gallery. Kim K’s post-coital bed; a fiery image from Alexander McQueen’s fall 1998 ready-to-wear collection; Aphex Twin’s “Windowlicker” video — these are all scenes that inspire work in “The Theater.” $60. my-ism.com

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Tiffany Titan by Pharrell Williams

Pharrell Williams in a cowboy hat and denim shirt, pursing his lips

Tiffany & Co.’s new collection by Pharrell Williams, dubbed Tiffany Titan, takes inspiration from mythology, channeling the spike of Poseidon’s trident as a symbol of lifeforce, rebellious power and punk energy. Featuring an array of necklaces, earrings, bracelets and rings in 18 karat yellow gold and black titanium with diamonds, the collection is feels personal to Pharrell. Poseidon, also known as the king of Atlantis, is representative of Pharrell’s relationship to water, and the community he grew up in in Virginia Beach, also called Atlantis. And the black titanium is the artist’s ode to “beauty in blackness,” says the brand. The pieces take on a rebellious spirit, anchored by Tiffany’s DNA. tiffany.com

Loewe X On

A person stands outdoors wearing a large orange coat

Everyone’s favorite quirky Spanish fashion house has collaborated with the Swiss performance wear brand On for a collection that’s meant to move with you from the city to the great outdoors. A campaign photographed by Ryan McGinley shows global athletes — from Aaliyah Miller to Masato and Sintayehu “Sinta” Vissa — in iconic California landscapes including Palm Springs, Indian Canyon and Simi Valley. The collection includes sneakers, hoodies, tanks, tees, vests and parkas in high-tech fabrics and tones that draw from nature. Available now: loewe.com, on.com

Beachwear by Parley for the Oceans X Dior

A model in shorts sitting on a lifeguard tower; in the foreground a model in a blue sleeveless hoodie with a blue towel

Environmental organization Parley for the Oceans has collaborated with Dior on a beachwear capsule collection for the third year in a row. Featuring bucket hats, bags, shorts, tops, coverups and more, the collection takes inspiration from the land and the ocean, featuring pieces in “mineral colors,” like aqua, and coral prints. The fall 2024 release is made using 30% of Parley Ocean Plastic, supporting the organization’s aim toward a more sustainable future. dior.com, parley.tv

‘Yves Saint Laurent: Line and Expression’ at OCMA

Mannequins in long draped gowns

(Marco Cappelletti / Musee Yves Saint Laurent)

A new exhibition at the Orange County Museum of Art celebrates the work and life of famed French couturier Yves Saint Laurent. With a focus on the designer’s drawing practice, the exhibition features original sketches done in black ink and pencil, punctuated by bursts of color, along with photographs, accessories and garments made from 1963 to 2001 that highlight Saint Laurent as a singular artist. June 28 through Oct. 27. ocma.art

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Celine men’s winter ’24

A black-and-white vintage-looking photo of a model seated in a car, its door open

Inspired by a piece of music written by Hector Berlioz in 1830 and recorded by Leonard Bernstein in 1963 , Hedi Slimane’s men’s winter ’24 short film “Symphonie Fantastique” was shot early this year between the Mojave and Los Angeles, using a desolate desert road as its runway. Directed by Slimane, who has long shared a kindred spirit with California and L.A., “Symphonie Fantastique” is shot in black-and-white and it’s oozing with 1960s swagger and silhouettes. Juxtaposing models in Slimane signatures — skinny suits, slick leather, fur coats, capes — against lasso-wheeling cowboys, L.A. mountains and freeways, “Symphonie Fantastique” creates an alternate world in the familiar sprawling setting, borrowing the spirit of what Bernstein described as the first psychedelic symphony ever made.

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Should you lend money to your loved ones? NPR listeners weigh in

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Should you lend money to your loved ones? NPR listeners weigh in

Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR


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Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR


Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR

Has a friend or family member ever asked to borrow money from you?

Earlier this month, Life Kit asked our audience this question for an episode we did on the social etiquette of lending money. The act of generosity can unite people in times of hardship. But it can also complicate relationships — especially if the borrower doesn’t pay the loan back.

We received nearly 50 emails on the matter. Many of you reiterated a general rule we discussed in the episode: if a loved one asks for a loan, give the money as a gift if you can afford it.

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But we also heard different perspectives. Some of you told us how lending money destroyed your friendships. Some offered advice on how to get money back from a negligent borrower. And others shared heartening stories about how the funds changed a person’s life.

Here is a selection of listener responses. These have been edited for length and clarity.

Use the loan as a teaching moment

Early in their marriage, my son and daughter-in-law had trouble making their paychecks stretch — and started asking my hubby and me for money.

I said yes with a couple of strings attached. First, it would only be a one-time thing. Second, they had to keep track, in writing, of how the money was being spent so I could see where the money was going. They were not thrilled with the idea, especially because I would see how they spent their money, but I didn’t care.

The exercise made them aware of where the money went. It only took a couple of months and they were living within their means. They are now doing well. They purchased a house they could afford when interest rates were low. —Joan Shurtliff

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Saving my friend from high interest rates

My friend had a situation where she was in credit card debt on a card with a high interest rate, so I paid it off for her. It was over $500. I told her to pay me back over time.

It didn’t make sense to me that she should waste money on interest. My parents fronted me money for two months of credit card bills between college and my first post-college job. I paid them back after I had some paychecks under my belt. My friend’s family doesn’t have that luxury, and I don’t think she should be penalized for that. —Yvonne Marcoux

Don’t be afraid to ask for your money back

A college classmate of mine was hard on his luck. He had become unemployed for a spell and was having difficulties making ends meet. He asked if he could borrow money. I lent him $500 with the expectation that when things were better, he would pay me back.

After about two years, I called it in. I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t tell for sure if he actually had the means to do so, but he was now employed. It took him a couple months, but he paid me back in full. —Mariann Duya

Consider their character

One day, a good friend of mine — a former roommate and tenant — sent an email to me and some friends. He just lost his job and humbly asked all of us if he we could loan him money for one month’s rent.

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It was unusual for him to ask for such a loan. My friend is a hardworking man who is responsible with his money. He was a dependable roommate and tenant who always paid on time.

I consulted with my wife. She suggested that we lend him the full amount and consider it a gift. We were in a financial position where we could afford to do so. My friend was very grateful. From what I understand, we were the only ones in the group email to lend him money.

About a year later, after he found another job and got back on his feet again, he paid us back in full. It was a pleasant but not total surprise considering his character and our friendship. Though we were totally fine with letting the money go as a gift, it was nice to know that friends can keep their word too. —Oscar Fornoles

So far, so good

I often lend money to family, partners, friends and coworkers. I even proactively offer loans. They also lend me money. I can only remember one issue over very little money that I lended to a guy I didn’t know well. Maybe I’m lucky? Maybe it’s my environment? Do I choose my friends well? —Daniel Garzón

Glad I made it a gift

Several years ago I loaned $500 to a longtime friend. She was going through a hard time after a rough divorce. Out of compassion for her situation I wanted to help.

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But before I did that, I asked myself if I was prepared to never see that money again. I’m glad the answer was yes — because she never paid me back or ever mentioned it. —Salvatrice Kemper

Thank you to everyone who responded to our call out. To take part in our next audience-generated story — and get great life advice from experts — sign up for Life Kit’s weekly newsletter.

This story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.

Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter.

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