Lifestyle
Move over, pickleball: In this wealthy L.A. neighborhood, another game reigns supreme
Jimmy Dunne hopped off his electric bike, hung his helmet on the handlebars and hurried over to the three bocce courts at Veterans Gardens just in time to offer his usual Tip of the Day.
“Think strategically,” the commissioner of the Palisades Bocce Club told the 50 amateur players who had gathered at the park on this chilly gray morning. At 68, he was a relative youngster compared with most of the assembled crowd. “If you’re playing against a master like Bill Skinner and you’re down in the last quarter, go hard.”
Everyone laughed. Skinner, who is 90 and plays for the OBG (Old But Great) Rollers, beamed. And the tournament began.
Player’s name tags are kept in individual team parcels in a bin for the Pacific Palisades Bocce League.
(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)
Pickleball may have exploded in the wake of the pandemic, but in Pacific Palisades bocce is king. More than 900 people have joined the Palisades Bocce Club since it began in June 2021. In the spring season, which ended this month, 542 people played regular matches. Games take place three times a week, and while winning is nice, it has never been the point. The league prizes community over competition, bringing together neighbors of all generations to connect in the outdoors.
“None of this was ever about bocce,” said Dunne, a longtime Palisades resident and songwriter who has written for Whitney Houston and Kenny Rogers. “It’s about celebrating the wonder in our backyard and the simple pleasure of having friends in town.”
The stakes were high on this Tuesday in May — the winning team would head to the championships — but the vibe was decidedly relaxed. Roger Stewart, who’s in his 90s, rolled his ball while remaining seated on a bench. The ladies of La Bocce Vita, who wore matching black caps featuring their team name in sparkly pink letters, were more interested in planning a weekend getaway together than beating their opponents. And Skinner, a 40-year member of the local Optimist Club, wove through the crowd cracking jokes until someone told him it was his turn to roll.
Dunne, dressed in navy blue pants and a navy blue sweater, cheered them all on, his blue eyes twinkling beneath a pale pink baseball cap.
“Great shot! Just spectacular,” he called out. “Beautiful! Just a little long!”
Bocce dates back at least as far as the Roman Empire and has long been popular in Italy, but interest in the game appears to be surging in the United States.
Scorekeeper Sean Barnett uses a digital measuring tool to figure out which team’s colored balls are closest to the smaller pallino.
(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)
League Commissioner Jimmy Dunne watches play in-between the bocce courts during Thursday league night at the Veterans Gardens bocce courts. The courts in the pubic park were put in two years ago and currently 545 people are signed up to play.
(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)
“Our explosion is not quite to the pickleball level, but there has been a serious uptick since COVID,” said Alex Gara, co-founder of the American Bocce Company, which runs a league with 3,000 players in Chicago as well as national tournaments. “Often there’s this magical moment where things all come together and a sport grows exponentially very quickly. A lot of people feel like that’s happening for bocce right now.”
There are several reasons why bocce has become such a sensation in the wealthy seaside community of Pacific Palisades, according to Dunne. It’s less physically demanding than tennis or pickleball, making it an accessible social activity for the Palisades’ growing senior population. It’s easy to pick up, and because it relies more on skill and strategy than strength or speed, it’s one of the few sports where a 90-year-old might easily beat a 30-year-old.
“It’s time off from life, and God, do we need it.”
— Jimmy Dunne, Palisades Bocce Club commissioner
The neighborhood’s relatively temperate climate makes it possible for seniors to play outside year-round. It’s also an excuse for older players to get out of the house and for younger players to take a break from the relentless churn of parenting and work. It costs only $75 a person to join for a season.
“Nobody has a credit card in their pocket, and aside from taking pictures, nobody’s looking at their phones,” Dunne said. “It’s time off from life, and God, do we need it.”
Dunne’s love affair with bocce began in the summer of 2010, when he stumbled across a park in the French countryside where people of all ages were gathered around what looked like a bocce court. (This being France, they were likely playing a similar game, petanque). As he took in the scene, a wedding party streamed out of a local church and joined the game.
“I had never played bocce and I had no idea what it was, but what was magical about it was that it was drawing all these people in the community to come out at sunset,” he said. He vowed to create something similar in Los Angeles.
Dunne, who was a writer and producer on “Happy Days” and counts former L.A. mayoral candidate Rick Caruso among his closest friends, is the kind of guy who gets things done. Soon after returning from his trip he convinced the Bel-Air Bay Club in Pacific Palisades, where he’s a member, to put in two bocce courts. Within months, 250 people had joined its league. Word got out and Dunne helped the game spread to Hillcrest Country Club in Beverly Hills, the Griffin Club in Cheviot Hills and the California Club in downtown L.A.
“I took on this odd role of being the pied piper of bocce,” he said. “But my interest wasn’t in bocce, it was in whether this could create belonging.”
Nancy Myers reacts with her “I Liff Bocce” teammates as they win during play for the Pacific Palisades Bocce League.
(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)
After a string of successes with country clubs, Dunne decided to experiment with building a bocce community that was open to the public. In 2016 he and a group of friends began fundraising to build three courts on a patch of dirt near the Palisades Recreation Center. Bill McGregor, an old friend and an architect and real estate developer, drew up the plans for what became Veterans Gardens. Today it is a beautifully landscaped park with several picnic tables and barbecues in addition to the bocce courts — all of it paid for and maintained by private donations including from the local American Legion post. The park opened in 2021 at the height of the pandemic.
“I knew bocce was a thing, but this exceeded our expectations,” said McGregor, who oversaw the construction of the former Sony Music headquarters designed by I.M. Pei, among other local developments. “So many people have not used their public park since their kids were little. Now they’re using it again.”
Scorekeeper Sean Barnett walks in-between the bocce courts during Thursday league night at the Veterans Gardens bocce courts.
(Gina Ferazzi / Los Angeles Times)
Dunne is relentlessly optimistic, but even he was surprised by the league’s success. “In the country clubs people are eating and drinking the whole time,” he said. “What’s wild to me is here people come out with no cocktails and no food.”
Despite the Palisades Bocce Club’s folksy, all-American vibe, a lot of time, thought and energy has gone into making it the community hub it has become. To keep players engaged off the court, Dunne sends out a weekly newsletter with photos from recent games and announcements about who is celebrating the birth of a new grandchild or recovering from surgery.
He hired another friend, Carlyn Peterson, to manage the logistics of the league, placing people on teams, scheduling games and organizing the end-of-season dinners where awards like “The Snappies (Best Dressed in the World)” and “Happiest Campers (A Team So Full of Life)” are given out. A handful of certified bocce professionals are paid to referee the matches.
“It’s the one-two punch of providing the courts and professional programming that’s the secret sauce,” said Dunne, who volunteers most of his time but is compensated to run and manage the league. “That’s what makes it work really well.”
Diane Gallant sports two awards at the Palisades Bocce League Awards Dinner.
(Jason Armond / Los Angeles Times)
League founder Jimmy Dunne, presents awards at the Palisades Bocce League Awards Dinner.
(Jason Armond / Los Angeles Times)
Dunne would like to see the success of the Palisade Bocce Club replicated across Los Angeles, especially in neighborhoods with fewer resources than Pacific Palisades, where the average price of a house is over $3.5 million according to Zillow.
“To me there is a path to get those projects done, not by the city, but by donorship from folks who have the ability to fund it from other communities,” he said.
He’s already reached out to the City of Los Angeles Department of Recreation and Parks.
In the meantime the league is gearing up for the summer and fall seasons, and because there are more players and teams than ever before, there will be an extra spot for games on Sunday afternoons.
Skinner will be there. The ladies of La Bocce Vita have already signed up.
“When people crab about this and that and say everything is wrong in the world, I just want to say, ‘Come to the park and see,’” Dunne said. “There are some wonderful things going on.”
Lifestyle
It Started with a Midnight Swim and a Kiss Under the Stars
When Marian Sherry Lurio and Jonathan Buffington Nguyen met at a mutual friend’s wedding at Higgins Lake, Mich., in July 2022, both felt an immediate chemistry. As the evening progressed, they sat on the shore of the lake in Adirondack chairs under the stars, where they had their first kiss before joining others for a midnight plunge.
The two learned that the following weekend Ms. Lurio planned to attend a wedding in Philadelphia, where Mr. Nguyen lives, and before they had even exchanged numbers, they already had a first date on the books.
“I have a vivid memory of after we first met,” Mr. Nguyen said, “just feeling like I really better not screw this up.”
Before long, they were commuting between Philadelphia and New York City, where Ms. Lurio lives, spending weekends and the odd remote work days in one another’s apartments in Philadelphia and Manhattan. Within the first six months of dating, Mr. Nguyen joined Ms. Lurio’s family for Thanksgiving in Villanova, Pa., and, the following month, she met his family in Beavercreek, Ohio, at a surprise birthday party for Mr. Nguyen’s mother.
Ms. Lurio, 32, who grew up in Merion Station outside Philadelphia, works in investor relations administration at Flexpoint Ford, a private equity firm. She graduated from Dartmouth College with a bachelor’s degree in history and psychology.
Mr. Nguyen, also 32, was born in Knoxville, Tenn., and raised in Beavercreek, Ohio, from the age of 7. He graduated from Haverford College with a bachelor’s degree in political science and is now a director at Doyle Real Estate Advisors in Philadelphia.
Their long-distance relationship continued for the next few years. There were dates in Manhattan, vacations and beach trips to the Jersey Shore. They attended sporting events and discovered their shared appreciation of the 2003 film, “Love Actually.”
One evening, Mr. Nguyen recalled looking around Ms. Lurio’s small New York studio — strewed with clothes and the takeout meal they had ordered — and feeling “so comfortable and safe.” “I knew that this was something different than just sort of a fling,” he said.
It was an open question when they would move in together. In 2024, Ms. Lurio began the process of moving into Mr. Nguyen’s home in Philadelphia — even bringing her cat, Scott — but her plans changed midway when an opportunity arose to expand her role with her current employer.
Mr. Nguyen was on board with her decision. “It almost feels like stolen valor to call it ‘long distance,’ because it’s so easy from Philadelphia to New York,” Mr. Nguyen said. “The joke is, it’s easier to get to Philly from New York than to get to some parts of Brooklyn from Manhattan, right?”
In January 2025, Mr. Nguyen visited Ms. Lurio in New York with more up his sleeve than spending the weekend. Together they had discussed marriage and bespoke rings, but when Mr. Nguyen left Ms. Lurio and an unfinished cheese plate at the bar of the Chelsea Hotel that Friday evening, she had no idea what was coming next.
“I remember texting Jonathan,” Ms. Lurio said, bewildered: “‘You didn’t go toward the bathroom!’” When a Lobby Bar server came and asked her to come outside, Ms. Lurio still didn’t realize what was happening until she was standing in the hallway, where Mr. Nguyen stood recreating a key moment from the film “Love Actually,” in which one character silently professes his love for another in writing by flashing a series of cue cards. There, in the storied Chelsea Hotel hallway still festooned with Christmas decorations, Mr. Nguyen shared his last card that said, “Will you marry me?”
They wed on April 11 in front of 200 guests at the Pump House, a covered space on the banks of Philadelphia’s Schuylkill River. Mr. Nguyen’s sister, the Rev. Elizabeth Nguyen, who is ordained through the Unitarian Universalist Association, officiated.
Although formal attire was suggested, Ms. Lurio said that the ceremony was “pretty casual.” She and Jonathan got ready together, and their families served as their wedding parties.
“I said I wanted a five-minute wedding,” Ms. Lurio recalled, though the ceremony ended up lasting a little longer than that. During the ceremony, Ms. Nguyen read a homily and jokingly added that guests should not ask the bride and groom about their living arrangements, which will remain separate for the foreseeable future.
While watching Ms. Lurio walk down the aisle, flanked by her parents, Mr. Nguyen said he remembered feeling at once grounded in the moment and also a sense of dazed joy: “Like, is this real? I felt very lucky in that moment — and also just excited for the party to start!”
Lifestyle
L.A. Affairs: I loved someone who felt he couldn’t be fully seen with me
He always texted when he was outside. No call, no knock. It was just a message and then the soft sound of my door opening. He moved like someone practiced in disappearing.
His name meant “complete” in Arabic, which is what I felt when we were together.
I met him the way you meet most things that matter in Los Angeles — without intending to. In our senior year at a college in eastern L.A. County, we were introduced through mutual friends, then thrown together by the particular gravity of people who recognized something in each other. He was a Muslim medical student, conservative and careful and funny in the dry, precise way of someone who has always had to choose his words. I was loud where he was quiet, messy where he was disciplined. I was out. He was not.
I understood, or thought I did. I thought that I couldn’t get hurt if I was completely conscious throughout the endeavor. Los Angeles has a way of making you feel like the whole world shares your freedoms — until you realize the city is enormous, and not all of it belongs to you in the same way.
For months, our world was confined to my apartment. He would slip in after dark, and we’d stay up late talking about his family in Iran, classical music and the particular pressure of being the son someone sacrificed everything to bring here. He told me things he said he’d never told anyone, and I believed him.
The orange glow from my Nesso lamp lit his face while the indigo sky pressed against the window behind him. In our small little world, we were safe. Outside was another matter.
On our first real date, I took him to the L.A. Phil’s “An Evening of Film & Music: From Mexico to Hollywood” program. I told him they were cheap seats even though they were the first row on the terrace. He was thrilled in the way only someone who doesn’t expect to be delighted actually gets delighted — fully, without guarding it. I put my arm around his shoulders. At some point, I shifted and moved it, and he nudged it back. He was OK with PDA here.
I remember thinking that wealth is a great barrier to harm and then feeling silly for extrapolating my own experience once again. Inside Walt Disney Concert Hall, we were just two people in love with the same music.
Outside was still another matter.
In February, on Valentine’s Day, he took me to a Yemeni restaurant in Anaheim. We hovered over saffron tea surrounded by other young Southern Californians, and we looked like friends. Before we went in, we sat in the parking lot of the strip mall — signs in Arabic advertising bread, coffee, halal meats, the Little Arabia District — hand in hand. I leaned over to kiss him.
“Not here,” he said. His eyes shifted furtively. “Someone might see.”
I understood, or told myself I did, but I was saddened. Later, after the kind of reflection that only arrives in the wreckage, I would understand something harder: I had been unconsciously asking him to choose, over and over, between the people he loved and the person he loved. I had a long pattern of choosing unavailable men, telling myself it was because I could handle the complexity. The truth was more embarrassing. I thought that if someone like him chose me anyway — chose me over the weight of societal expectations — it would mean I was worth choosing. It took me a long time to see how unfair that was to him and to me.
We went to the Norton Simon Museum together in November, on the kind of gray Pasadena day when the 210 Freeway roars in the background like white noise. He studied for the MCAT while I wrote a paper on Persian rugs. In between practice problems, he translated ancient Arabic scripts for me. I thought, “We make a good team.” Afterward, we walked through the galleries and he didn’t let go of my arm.
That was the version of us I kept returning to — when the ending came during Ramadan. It arrived as a spiritual reflection of my own. I texted: “Does this end at graduation — whatever we are doing?”
He thought I meant Ramadan. I did not mean Ramadan.
“I care about you,” he wrote, “but I don’t want you to think this could work out to anything more than just dating. I mean, of course, I’ve fantasized about marrying you. If I could live my life the way I wanted, of course I would continue. I’m just sad it’s not in this lifetime.”
I was in Mexico City when these texts were exchanged. That night I flew to Oaxaca to clear my head and then, after less than 24 hours, flew back to L.A. No amount of vacation would allow me to process what had just happened, so I threw myself back into work.
My therapist told me to use the conjunction “and” instead of “but.” It happened, and I am changed. The harm I caused and the love I felt. The beauty of what we made and the impossibility of where it could go. She gave me a knowing smile when I asked if it would stay with me forever. She didn’t answer, which was the answer.
I think about the freeways now, the way Joan Didion called them our only secular communion. When you’re on the ground in Los Angeles, the world narrows to the few blocks around you. Get on the freeway and you understand the whole body of the city at once: the arteries, the pulse, the scale of the thing.
You understand that you are a single cell in something enormous and moving. It is all out of your control. I am in a lane. The lane shaped how I drive. He was simply in a different lane, and his lane shaped him, and those two facts can coexist without either of us being the villain of the sad story.
He came like a secret in the night, and he left the same way. What we made in between was real and complicated and mine to hold forever, hoping we find each other in the next life.
The author lives in Los Angeles.
L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.
Lifestyle
The Nerve Center of This Art Fair Isn’t Painting. It’s Couture.
The art industry is increasingly shaped by artists’ and art businesses’ shared realization that they are locked in a fierce struggle for sustained attention — against each other, and against the rest of the overstimulated, always-online world. A major New York art fair aims to win this competition next month by knocking down the increasingly shaky walls between contemporary art and fashion.
When visitors enter the Independent art fair on May 14, they will almost immediately encounter its open-plan centerpiece: an installation of recent couture looks from Comme des Garçons. It will be the first New York solo presentation of works by Rei Kawakubo, the brand’s founder and mastermind, since a lauded 2017 survey exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute.
Art fairs have often been front and center in the industry’s 21st-century quest to capture mindshare. But too many displays have pierced the zeitgeist with six-figure spectacles, like Maurizio Cattelan’s duct-taped banana and Beeple’s robot dogs. Curating Independent around Comme des Garçons comes from the conviction that a different kind of iconoclasm can rise to the top of New York’s spring art scrum.
Elizabeth Dee, the founder and creative director of Independent, said that making Kawakubo’s work the “nerve center” of this year’s edition was a “statement of purpose” for the fair’s evolution. After several years at the compact Spring Studios in TriBeCa, Independent will more than double its square footage by moving to Pier 36 at South Street, on the East River. Dee has narrowed the fair’s exhibitor list, to 76, from 83 dealers in 2025, and reduced booth fees to encourage a focus on single artists making bold propositions.
“Rei’s work has been pivotal to thinking about how my work as a curator, gallerist and art fair can push boundaries, especially during this extraordinary move toward corporatization and monoculture in the art world in the last 20 years,” Dee said.
Kawakubo’s designs have been challenging norms since her brand’s first Paris runway show in 1981, but her work over the last 13 years on what she calls “objects for the body” has blurred borders between high fashion and wearable sculpture.
The Comme des Garçons presentation at Independent will feature 20 looks from autumn-winter 2020 to spring-summer 2025. Forgoing the runway, Kawakubo is installing her non-clothing inside structures made from rebar and colored plastic joinery.
Adrian Joffe, the president of both Comme des Garçons International and the curated retailer Dover Street Market International (and who is also Kawakubo’s husband), said in an interview that Kawakubo’s intention was to create a sculptural installation divorced from chronology and fashion — “a thing made new again.”
Every look at Independent was made in an edition of three or fewer, but only one of each will be for sale on-site. Prices will be about $9,000 to $30,000. Comme des Garçons will retain 100 percent of the sales.
Asked why she was interested in exhibiting at Independent, the famously elusive Kawakubo said via email, “The body of work has never been shown together, and this is the first presentation in New York in almost 10 years.” Joffe added a broader philosophical motivation. “We’ve never done it before; it was new,” he said. Also essential was the fair’s willingness to embrace Kawakubo’s vision for the installation rather than a standard fair booth.
Kawakubo began consistently engaging with fine art decades before such crossovers became commonplace. Since 1989, she has invited a steady stream of contemporary artists to create installations in Comme des Garçons’s Tokyo flagship store. The ’90s brought collaborations with the artist Cindy Sherman and performance pioneer Merce Cunningham, among others.
More cross-disciplinary projects followed, including limited-release direct mailers for Comme des Garçons. Kawakubo designs each from documentation of works provided by an artist or art collective.
The display at Independent reopens the debate about Kawakubo’s proper place on the continuum between artist and designer. But the issue is already settled for celebrated artists who have collaborated with her.
“I totally think of Rei as an artist in the truest sense,” Sherman said by email. “Her work questions what everyone else takes for granted as being flattering to a body, questions what female bodies are expected to look like and who they’re catering to.”
Ai Weiwei, the subject of a 2010 Comme des Garçons direct mailer, agreed that Kawakubo “is, in essence, an artist.” Unlike designers who “pursue a sense of form,” he added, “her design and creation are oriented toward attitude” — specifically, an attitude of “rebellion.”
Also taking this position is “Costume Art,” the spring exhibition at the Costume Institute. Opening May 10, the show pairs individual works from multiple designers — including Comme des Garçons — with artworks from the Met’s holdings to advance the argument made by the dress code for this year’s Met gala: “Fashion is art.”
True to form, Kawakubo sometimes opts for a third way.
“Rei has often said she’s not a designer, she’s not an artist,” Joffe said. “She is a storyteller.”
Now to find out whether an art fair sparks the drama, dialogue and attention its authors want.
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