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L.A. Affairs: He’s a Bruin. I’m a Trojan. Could I fight on in the name of love?

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L.A. Affairs: He’s a Bruin. I’m a Trojan. Could I fight on in the name of love?

My mother, a UCLA graduate, switched her allegiance on a dime the day I enrolled at USC. She and my father attended every Trojans home game from that day forward. Familial blood may be thicker than alumni water but not so, it seems, when it comes to spousal relations.

And I know about it all too well. My husband, Brad, and I, both divorced and not in the market for anyone who didn’t ooze quality, had engaged in a keyboard courtship. He was avid, while I was reluctant at best. I refused to meet him for months, having been single for six years and not the least bit interested in sharing anything with anyone ever again. But he said he was willing to wait however long it took for me to muster up the courage, and he would even manage to overlook the fact that my diploma was from USC because he (unfortunately) was a devoted Bruin.

Letters soared back and forth between us, and because we were both 50 and counting, once I caved and we came face to face we wasted no time before announcing the nuptials, even though we both knew football season could be an impediment to forever after.

We shopped for rings before our first cross-town rivalry contest, the battle that former UCLA football coach Red Sanders once stated is not a matter of life and death: “It’s more important than that!” he insisted.

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We set our wedding date for April, long before we truly realized what would happen in the fall at kickoff. Whereas I pictured us reveling in teasing trash talk, curled up on the sofa, popcorn at the ready — maybe even buying tickets to the big game someday — I was soon to learn that the Los Angeles gridiron civil war was more than we’d bargained for and, in fact, would permeate the walls of our love nest.

Brad started it. The first year, I scurried to Trader Joe’s like a nurturing newlywed bride to gather fun football food for what promised to be the fulfillment of my dream: our enjoying the light banter of frivolous competition in front of the television on a sunny Southern California Saturday afternoon.

When I emerged from the market, shopping bags in hand, I realized the man I’d promised to honor (Had I remembered to tell the priest to omit the word “obey”?) had switched out my striking cardinal and gold USC license plate frames for the ones decorated in the pale baby blue of his alma mater — ugh, UCLA Bruins!

Two could play at this game. I plopped the bags on the back seat, hopped on the 405 Freeway and beelined to SC Trojan Town at South Coast Plaza — yes, Virginia, there really is a retail Santa Claus for the University of Spoiled Children.

I whipped out my husband’s Visa card and promptly placed every fanatical fan item I could carry on it. I toted two suitcase-size handled bags filled with cocktail napkins, plates, cups, a king-size blanket, T-shirts, sweatpants, pajamas, signs, streamers, pennants, socks, hats, jerseys and my personal favorite, because he pretends to have symptoms of a stroke every time he hears it, a refrigerator magnet that plays the Trojan fight song.

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Fight on! In no time, I had racked up an unconscionable dollar amount of paraphernalia that was sure to bring the house down. Then there was the year when USC was favored by a margin wider than the Pacific Ocean, the year the man I thought I’d be sharing my life with chose to clean out the garage and not even watch one quarterback toss. That was the year I ate all the cardinal and gold M&Ms myself.

Shortly after standing at the altar before family and friends, when we attended a UCLA-USC basketball game outfitted in our respective school sweatshirts, we were observed by a group of boorish Bruins. “Aw man,” one of them said to my husband. “Couldn’t you have done better?”

Clearly, you can’t major in manners on the west side of town. To this day, whenever the big day arrives for the football game more crucial than the Super Bowl, I find myself sometimes rising above it all in the company of Brad’s fraternity bro and his wife, an ex-UCLA song girl.

Although outnumbered and having to sit next to a song girl, I handle it gracefully despite some tiresome enemy tirades on the topic of campus controversy, á la parents paying to get their progeny into USC.

I point out that it’s a feather in one’s cap to be able to graduate from such a prestigious university, while our Bruin guests argue that those parents threw away their money.

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Twenty years into sacramental union, we’d like to think we have for the most part let it go, especially since neither team provides the stellar spectacle that they did in our glory days from 1969 to 1973.

But every time November rolls around, unfurled is the flag flying our schools’ colors: half cardinal and gold, half just boring blue and yellow. “A House Divided,” it proclaims for all the neighbors to see. So perhaps to gain the truly proper perspective, it’s time for us to arrange a ceremony during which we renew our sacred vows adding just one more to the list: For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer … and no matter who wins the game.

The author is a second-generation Los Angeles native who lives in Fallbrook, Calif. A graduate of USC, she is the author of essays and stories that have appeared in newspapers and magazines including the Los Angeles Times, Orange Coast Magazine and Newsweek for over two decades.

L.A. Affairs chronicles the search for romantic love in all its glorious expressions in the L.A. area, and we want to hear your true story. We pay $400 for a published essay. Email LAAffairs@latimes.com. You can find submission guidelines here. You can find past columns here.

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40 years after 'Purple Rain,' Prince’s band remembers how the movie came together

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40 years after 'Purple Rain,' Prince’s band remembers how the movie came together

Prince on the custom motorcycle featured in Purple Rain.

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Wendy Melvoin, guitarist for Prince’s genre bending band The Revolution, remembers one of their most iconic songs started with an idea — and a challenge — from the boss himself.

Prince broached the topic during a band rehearsal. “He came to the table with this beautiful idea … most of the songs [on the album] had already been done,” says Melvoin, “He said ‘I have this idea and sounds a little like this…whattaya you guys got?’”

What Wendy had was an idea for a mournful cascade of guitar chords that proved the perfect starting point.

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“I came up with that intro and that chord progression to get us into the song,” she adds. “And it ended up being one of the most iconic intros to a pop ballad ever.”

The song Purple Rain would become the surprising, anthemic climax for a film of the same name that emerged as one of the most successful and influential musical films in history. The movie hit theaters 40 years ago, breaking barriers in the music world while signaling the ascendancy of Prince as a pop music superstar.

Putting Purple Rain on the silver screen

Filmed around the band’s Minneapolis hometown, Purple Rain had a simple story. Prince’s character — known only as The Kid – is rocked by his dad constantly beating his mother at home, struggling to connect with his bandmembers and a new romantic interest, a beautiful singer named Apollonia.

Drummer Bobby Rivkin, known onstage as Bobby Z, says the idea of showcasing Prince’s songs and The Revolution in a film was inspired by the success of MTV and its focus on music videos.

“Prince was always someone who took a step bigger than the cultural [stuff] that was happening at the times,” he adds. “Once MTV started playing his videos, I think he just gravitated to something bigger and said ‘I’ll just take it to the next level.’’”

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Melvoin says she and The Revolution — including Rivkin, keyboardists Lisa Coleman and Matt Fink and bassist Brown Mark — found out they would be working on a movie when Prince announced it in a matter-of-fact way at a rehearsal. But she wasn’t worried about whether she could act or how the band would look onscreen.

“I guess if I had any concern back then, it was just literally, ‘was the story going to be any good?’” she says, laughing. “I didn’t have any doubt the music sequences would be fantastic. But I didn’t have a good sense of whether the narrative of the film was going to work.”

Turns out, it all worked pretty well. Purple Rain was a hit, with the film and its soundtrack earning an Oscar, two Grammy awards and status as a groundbreaking musical film.

It also introduced a film audience to Prince’s scorching performance style, his unerring ability to craft hit tunes, and his distinctive fashion sense. Prince’s network of bands and performers also got some attention – including the girl-fronted group Apollonia 6 and the funk band The Time.

The Time lead singer Morris Day and his onstage foil Jerome Benton became the film’s comic center, with the two riffing on a version of Abbott and Costello’s classic routine “Who’s on First?”.

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“Honestly, we weren’t trying to be funny … we always clowned around at the time because we were young,” Day says, responding to questions via email. He noted, even though the cast took acting and dance classes in preparation for filming, “we were just being ourselves. If anything, I was more conscious of being cool than funny.”

Morris Day of The Time performs in Chicago in 1983, before Purple Rain came out.

Morris Day of The Time performs in Chicago in 1983, before Purple Rain came out.

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He’s not surprised people are still talking about the film four decades after its initial release.

“The film was groundbreaking on so many levels … it was the first of its kind,” adds Day, who says he’s only watched the film in its entirety one time, at its Hollywood premiere on July 26, 1984. “It somehow reminds people of a special period in their lives during the ‘80s, which is a period we all at times wish we could reclaim.”

Building the drama in Purple Rain

Fans know the film tells a more combative story behind the genesis of the song Purple Rain.

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Onscreen, Melvoin and her then-girlfriend, keyboardist Lisa Coleman write the song, fighting a reluctant Prince – known only as The Kid in the movie – to let The Revolution play it onstage.

“Everytime we give you a song, you say you’re going to use it, but you never do,” Melvoin shouts at Prince during the scene, delivering some of the best acting from the musicians who mostly fill out the cast. “You think we’re doing something behind your back…you’re just being paranoid as usual.”

When Prince finally agrees to play Purple Rain onstage at the Minneapolis club First Avenue – launching into an emotional rendition topped by one of the best guitar solos in pop music – he wows the crowd and saves the band. But Melvoin says now that the friction they acted out was “movie magic” conjured to build a story; in real life, she, Lisa and Prince were very close collaborators.

Prince, alongside Wendy Melvoin (left) and Lisa Coleman (right) accepts Purple Rain's Oscar for best original score in 1985.

Prince, alongside Wendy Melvoin (left) and Lisa Coleman (right) accepts Purple Rain‘s Oscar for best original score in 1985.

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Powered by hits like the title track and the percolating dance jam I Would Die 4 U, Purple Rain burst like a lavender-tinged explosion across the pop culture landscape – launching Prince’s growing fame into the stratosphere.

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The innovative dance hit When Doves Cry, recorded by Prince with no bass guitar, became his first Number One single on Billboard’s Hot 100 singles list. That was followed by his second Number One single, the rock and soul classic Let’s Go Crazy, which showcased his guitar skills at a time when rock guitar wasn’t heard often on R&B records.

Giving fans a peek behind the mystique

Prince had developed a mystique by rarely talking to the press. So, in the days before YouTube and Tik Tok, Purple Rain offered a sustained – if fictionalized – look at the inner workings of the band and his origin story for fans eager to know more.

And it centered a group of performers who were a mix of identities and ethnicities in the Midwest, making music that crossed all kinds of cultural barriers, at a time when people like that were rarely seen on the silver screen.

“That film was Prince’s version of social media,” Melvoin says. “This is funk rock and nobody’s seen a movie based on this kind of life. It [was] a trip for people to see.”

But there were also criticisms. Many of the film’s performers were amateurs, which showed in their performances. And female characters were often treated badly on screen: in one scene, Jerome Benton gets rid of a hostile woman confronting Day by tossing her into a dumpster.

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“Given today’s culture, I’m certain there are moments in the film that ruffle a few feathers,” Day says. “Overall, I would like to think we did something great. And based on the overwhelming majority [of public reaction], I believe we did.”

The film ultimately proved the perfect showcase for Prince’s expansive creativity – from his ruffled shirts and big shouldered clothes to his mix of religion and sexuality in lyrics, innovative ways of recording and his seemingly endless supply of high-quality songs.

Bobby Rivkin, otherwise known as Bobby Z, during a recording session in 1989.

Bobby Rivkin, otherwise known as Bobby Z, during a recording session in 1989.

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“MTV opened the door a little bit — just a teeny crack of light — and he would kick it open,” Rivkin adds. “He was innovative in fashion and culture. And it was a remarkable time for him. From humble beginnings to control [of] black culture, crossover culture … rock, funk, pop … He was on fire for quite a while.”

Continuing on without the boss

A couple of years and albums later, Prince disbanded The Revolution. But the group has reunited a few times – notably for a benefit concert after Rivkin had his first heart attack in 2010 – and after Prince died in 2016, at age 57 from an accidental fentanyl overdose. More recently, the group came together last month to perform during a five-day event in Minneapolis celebrating Purple Rain’s 40th anniversary.

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Both Melvoin and Rivkin say they hope The Revolution can play more shows commemorating Purple Rain’s anniversary over the next year. But they also admit it can be challenging performing without their dynamic leader and frontman, even as playing together helps them process the loss.

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“After he passed, it’s the only thing that we could think of to do — to be together and grieve,” Melvoin says.

And what would The Kid himself think about the legacy of his blockbuster film and album? Day says he’s not sure.

“[Prince] never liked staying in the past,” the singer adds. “He was always evolving. Once Purple Rain was done, he was on to the next. But now that I’m thinking about it, he might have thrown a big celebration at Paisley Park for the fans. Probably would have been one hell of a jam session.”

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Josh Flagg Says Ben Affleck Might Be In Escrow For New Home In Brentwood

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Josh Flagg Says Ben Affleck Might Be In Escrow For New Home In Brentwood

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'Wait Wait' for July 27, 2024: With Not My Job guest Kathleen Hanna

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'Wait Wait' for July 27, 2024: With Not My Job guest Kathleen Hanna

Kathleen Hanna of The Julie Ruin performs onstage at the 2016 Panorama NYC Festival – Day 2 at Randall’s Island on July 23, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images)

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This week’s show was recorded in Chicago with host Peter Sagal, judge and scorekeeper Bill Kurtis, Not My Job guest Kathleen Hanna and panelists Meredith Scardino, Peter Grosz, and Mo Rocca Click the audio link above to hear the whole show.

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