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Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR

Photo illustration by Becky Harlan/NPR

Has a friend or family member ever asked to borrow money from you?

Earlier this month, Life Kit asked our audience this question for an episode we did on the social etiquette of lending money. The act of generosity can unite people in times of hardship. But it can also complicate relationships — especially if the borrower doesn’t pay the loan back.

We received nearly 50 emails on the matter. Many of you reiterated a general rule we discussed in the episode: if a loved one asks for a loan, give the money as a gift if you can afford it.

But we also heard different perspectives. Some of you told us how lending money destroyed your friendships. Some offered advice on how to get money back from a negligent borrower. And others shared heartening stories about how the funds changed a person’s life.

Here is a selection of listener responses. These have been edited for length and clarity.

Use the loan as a teaching moment

Early in their marriage, my son and daughter-in-law had trouble making their paychecks stretch — and started asking my hubby and me for money.

I said yes with a couple of strings attached. First, it would only be a one-time thing. Second, they had to keep track, in writing, of how the money was being spent so I could see where the money was going. They were not thrilled with the idea, especially because I would see how they spent their money, but I didn’t care.

The exercise made them aware of where the money went. It only took a couple of months and they were living within their means. They are now doing well. They purchased a house they could afford when interest rates were low. —Joan Shurtliff

Saving my friend from high interest rates

My friend had a situation where she was in credit card debt on a card with a high interest rate, so I paid it off for her. It was over $500. I told her to pay me back over time.

It didn’t make sense to me that she should waste money on interest. My parents fronted me money for two months of credit card bills between college and my first post-college job. I paid them back after I had some paychecks under my belt. My friend’s family doesn’t have that luxury, and I don’t think she should be penalized for that. —Yvonne Marcoux

Don’t be afraid to ask for your money back

A college classmate of mine was hard on his luck. He had become unemployed for a spell and was having difficulties making ends meet. He asked if he could borrow money. I lent him $500 with the expectation that when things were better, he would pay me back.

After about two years, I called it in. I felt uncomfortable because I couldn’t tell for sure if he actually had the means to do so, but he was now employed. It took him a couple months, but he paid me back in full. —Mariann Duya

Consider their character

One day, a good friend of mine — a former roommate and tenant — sent an email to me and some friends. He just lost his job and humbly asked all of us if he we could loan him money for one month’s rent.

It was unusual for him to ask for such a loan. My friend is a hardworking man who is responsible with his money. He was a dependable roommate and tenant who always paid on time.

I consulted with my wife. She suggested that we lend him the full amount and consider it a gift. We were in a financial position where we could afford to do so. My friend was very grateful. From what I understand, we were the only ones in the group email to lend him money.

About a year later, after he found another job and got back on his feet again, he paid us back in full. It was a pleasant but not total surprise considering his character and our friendship. Though we were totally fine with letting the money go as a gift, it was nice to know that friends can keep their word too. —Oscar Fornoles

So far, so good

I often lend money to family, partners, friends and coworkers. I even proactively offer loans. They also lend me money. I can only remember one issue over very little money that I lended to a guy I didn’t know well. Maybe I’m lucky? Maybe it’s my environment? Do I choose my friends well? —Daniel Garzón

Glad I made it a gift

Several years ago I loaned $500 to a longtime friend. She was going through a hard time after a rough divorce. Out of compassion for her situation I wanted to help.

But before I did that, I asked myself if I was prepared to never see that money again. I’m glad the answer was yes — because she never paid me back or ever mentioned it. —Salvatrice Kemper

Thank you to everyone who responded to our call out. To take part in our next audience-generated story — and get great life advice from experts — sign up for Life Kit’s weekly newsletter.

This story was edited by Meghan Keane. The visual editor is Beck Harlan. We’d love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org.

Listen to Life Kit on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, and sign up for our newsletter.

We’re trying out something a little new here: Each week, we’ll be taking a quick look at the newest Billboard charts to see, in the immortal words of Shakespeare, “who loses and who wins; who’s in, who’s out.” (Thankfully, the stakes are far lower here than in King Lear, despite the potential for high drama.) Even in this impossibly fickle era, when the days of a homogenized pop music culture are long gone, the weekly charts published by Billboard still give some indication of what listeners are turning to, what social media trends are running the game and who’s currently riding high. What we’re hoping to do is to provide some context that helps us ground and understand the current data — and maybe even help us divine larger narratives about what we’re listening to. So here we go.

TOP SONGS

As NPR Music’s critic Ann Powers observed over the holiday weekend on All Things Considered, the summer of 2024 seems to be leaning toward country — or at least country-flavored bops. The Billboard Hot 100, which ranks the top singles (via a combination of data from streaming, digital and physical sales and radio airplay) is dominated this week by the uptempo country breakup tune “I Had Some Help” by Post Malone featuring Morgan Wallen.

Post Malone made his name as a hip-hop/pop guy, but in recent months, he’s collaborated with both Beyoncé and Taylor Swift. In his current bid for song of the summer, he’s teamed up with Morgan Wallen — who remains perhaps the biggest star in Nashville, despite (or maybe in part because of) a string of controversies. This is the second week at the top spot for “I Had Some Help.”

At No. 2 is one of Kendrick Lamar’s many recent Drake diss tracks, “Not Like Us,” followed by Tommy Richman’s “Million Dollar Baby” at No. 3. Richman, a largely unknown singer and rapper before last month, teased his vaguely funk-tinged song on TikTok, where it found huge viral success and racked up millions of views even before he released the full single.

Two of Ann’s other predictions for summer hits round out the Top 5 singles for the week of June 1: Shaboozey’s hybridic country/hip-hop/rock anthem “A Bar Song (Tipsy)” at No. 4 and, debuting at No. 5, Billie Eilish’s woozy, seductive “Lunch.” As Eilish recently said to Morning Edition about “Lunch”: “It’s so fun and it’s silly and it’s … I don’t know. Life is so unserious. It’s important to remember to have a little fun with it.” If ever there was a time for such a thing, wouldn’t it be summer?

TOP ALBUMS

Speaking of Eilish: She and her record labels, Darkroom and Interscope, pitched a fierce battle to knock chart queen Taylor Swift out of the top spot of the Billboard 200, the weekly albums chart. Swift’s album The Tortured Poets Department had already spent its first four weeks perched at No. 1. Eilish’s new album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, did not do quite well enough to push royalty off the throne, but according to Luminate, the company that puts together the data for the Billboard charts, Eilish earned 339,000 “equivalent album units” — her biggest week ever. (Stay with us for a moment. An “equivalent album unit” is industry-speak for an enigmatic formula: the combination of tracks streamed or downloaded, plus physical or digital album sales, expressed as an approximation of what decades ago would have been a simple transaction — one album sold.)

Nevertheless, Swift won a fifth week at No. 1, with a total of 378,000 album units. How did she prevail? In short, by knowing exactly how to fire up her fanbase on the marketing front. Team Swift launched a marketing counteroffensive that included six new digital versions of Tortured Poets and a new CD version — all of which were sold exclusively on Swift’s website. She also released a remix of her song “Fortnight” — the biggest single from Tortured Poets, and the one that happens to feature a fellow named Post Malone.

This is a game that Eilish knows too: For the race up the chart, she released nine colored vinyl editions and her own digital version of Hit Me Hard and Soft that included isolated vocal tracks for each song, as well as a new remix of her song “L’Amour De Ma Vie.” The complete album was also promotionally priced as an iTunes download at $4.99. It’s a move that recalled industry marketing campaigns of the pre-streaming era — that is, back when Eilish was just a tween herself. (Given how easy and cheap it is for listeners to inhale whole albums these days, it’s not that surprising that all 10 tracks from Hit Me Hard and Soft have individually hit the Hot 100.)

All of these fevered machinations took place under the umbrella of a single corporate behemoth: Universal Music Group, which distributes both Swift’s and Eilish’s music. Cynics might note that no matter which individual artist made it to No. 1, Universal was guaranteed to clinch the top spot.

WORTH NOTING

The fourth studio album from Zayn Malik, Room Under the Stairs, finds the former One Direction star taking a turn toward Americana and country, aided by Nashville producer Dave Cobb. (Clearly, this is the sound of 2024, even for a fellow born and raised in Bradford, England.)

The album — Malik’s first in three years — hasn’t quite resonated with a large public: It enters the Billboard 200 chart this week at No. 15. But it’s also given Malik an intriguing career first: an entry on the Americana/Folk Albums chart, positioned at No. 5.