Lifestyle
He spends his days counting monarch butterflies in L.A. He could use your help
It’s 49 levels in Malibu, virtually freezing for Angelenos, and Richard Rachman is peering by means of a chain-link fence looking for butterflies.
Rachman is a plant man — a plant ecologist to be precise — who has skilled his scientist eyes to search for tiny particulars in flowers and bushes. However this winter the bearded, burly millennial is spending all his free time counting monarch butterflies in Los Angeles County, dodging poison oak, canine poop and uncooperative property house owners to get as correct a tally as he probably can of endangered bugs not simply discovered.
For the document:
10:24 a.m. Jan. 16, 2022An earlier model of this story mentioned the rise within the variety of monarch butterflies counted this 12 months was 100%. It ought to have mentioned the rise was 100 instances greater than the earlier 12 months’s depend. The story additionally referred to the depend because the Western Monarch Overwintering Depend. The proper identify is the Western Monarch Thanksgiving Depend.
On this early morning in mid-December, Rachman is swathed in a heavy jacket, gloves and scarf, binoculars pressed to his eyes. He’s on the outskirts of a small gated neighborhood close to Zuma Seashore, staring by means of the fence at a small eucalyptus grove whereas attempting to keep away from mounds of canine doo hidden within the brush.
Richard Rachman, the Los Angeles County coordinator for the Western Monarch Thanksgiving Depend, friends into the tree tops of Penmar Golf Course in Venice, looking for butterflies.
(Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Occasions)
The work is dizzying, requiring you to consistently look down at your ft after which again on the bushes, straining to search out creatures that really feel as legendary as pixies.
“I inform folks to search for little Doritos,” he tells his shivering companions. He’s attempting to be hopeful, however after half-hour of observing droopy tree limbs within the shady chilly, he’s solely noticed a few monarchs hanging alone on a department.
Why is it so laborious to identify the orange monarch with its distinctive black- and cream-colored markings?
As a result of the butterflies hold their wings closed after they’re resting, so their coloring isn’t apparent. All you see — if you’re fortunate sufficient to search out them — are little mocha-colored triangles hanging from branches like dripping clusters of pale brown leaves.
Relying in your angle and the time of day, the monarchs looking for winter shelter in coastal eucalyptus and pine bushes are straightforward to overlook. Monarchs can’t fly when temperatures are beneath 60 levels, and you’ll’t reliably depend them after they’re flying round, so Rachman, L.A. County’s volunteer coordinator of the Western Monarch Thanksgiving Depend, should begin early, round dawn, earlier than the butterflies begin shifting.
Monarchs place themselves on branches in order that they’ll catch the primary rays of the morning solar.
(Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Occasions)
Practically 800 monarchs have been counted at this spot a number of days earlier, he mentioned, however that was earlier than the heavy rain and wind in mid-December. A day after the storm, Rachman’s checking to see how the butterflies fared. Issues don’t look good till Patt Healy seems and suggests a technique to get across the fence to look from one other path. Healy, founding father of the Malibu Monarch Venture, lives within the space and is aware of simply the place to go.
After getting permission to enter the fenced space, the group approaches the grove with the solar at their backs and Rachman’s voice swells with pleasure and aid.
From this angle, it’s all of the sudden straightforward to see clumps of immobile Doritos shapes hanging from branches.
Rachman readjusts his binoculars and begins calculating — “I search for a gaggle of 5, after which use that sample to depend the remaining,” he mentioned, and his fast and soiled tally finds not less than 725. The butterflies have positioned themselves on the bushes to allow them to catch the primary rays of the morning solar, and positive sufficient, because the temperature warms, their wings start to flutter, so it’s simpler to identify flashes of orange.
This can be a reassuring discover as a result of throughout the 2020-21 depend, the whole Western monarch tally alongside the California coast was simply 1,914 — a staggering quantity that signaled a near-collapse of the enduring species.
This 12 months’s depend, which started round Thanksgiving 2021 and concluded on Jan. 9, is way improved. The ultimate numbers gained’t be launched till late this month, however greater than 200,000 monarchs have been noticed at overwintering websites alongside the coast between Central California and northern Baja, 100 instances larger than the 2020-21 depend, says Emma Pelton, senior endangered species conservation biologist for the Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation.
However Pelton isn’t celebrating, as a result of 200,000 continues to be removed from the thousands and thousands of monarchs that used emigrate from their breeding grounds in Northern California and the Pacific Northwest to the California coast within the Eighties and ‘90s.
“We’re nonetheless at 90% lower than the place we have been at within the Nineties, so that is nothing we will financial institution on,” Pelton mentioned in a telephone interview from her workplace in Portland, Ore. “We’d prefer to see not less than a half-million or million monarchs earlier than we will say they’re out of the woods (so far as extinction).”
A part of the issue is that scientists don’t know why the monarch numbers plummeted so badly in 2020-21 (all the way down to 1,914 from round 30,000 the 2 years earlier than) or why they improved this 12 months, Pelton mentioned.
The butterflies’ colorings could make them straightforward to overlook — until you understand what you might be on the lookout for. Suppose “Doritos.”
(Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Occasions)
In a November Xerces Society weblog put up titled “The Bounciness of Butterflies,” Pelton famous that small animal populations are extra susceptible to fluctuations within the atmosphere, similar to a foul winter storm, however, by the identical token, their numbers may enhance when the situations are extra favorable.
“It’s totally believable that migratory monarchs had good climate and good luck throughout their breeding habitat within the West this 12 months and bounced as much as a bigger dimension than anticipated,” Pelton wrote. “Whereas local weather change-driven extreme drought is related to declines in butterfly abundance and variety within the West total, the results are advanced; hotter and drier summers — like 2021 — generally is a momentary boon to some butterfly species.”
Scientists are actively researching a spread of theories, she mentioned, the whole lot from the altering patterns of wildfire to modifications in crop planting and pesticide use in California’s Central Valley, a potential inflow from the Jap monarch inhabitants and winter-breeding monarchs within the San Francisco Bay Space. “Nonetheless, it’s necessary to notice that these are hypotheses solely,” she wrote, “and, as of but, lack robust proof to help them.”
Patt Healy, left, who heads the Malibu Monarch Venture, joins Richard Rachman, the Los Angeles County coordinator for the Western Monarch Thanksgiving Depend, within the search to watch and depend butterflies. Healy is very acquainted with the monarchs’ favourite spots in Malibu, so she is aware of simply the place to look.
(Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Occasions)
Many individuals — heeding the decision to assist the fragile bugs — planted milkweed within the final 12 months to assist feed the monarchs, and through her telephone interview Pelton mentioned these efforts probably helped, however “we didn’t magically plant sufficient milkweed final 12 months to make this type of distinction.”
Which isn’t to low cost the general public’s efforts, she mentioned. “I don’t need to crush anybody’s spirit round attempting to assist as a result of folks’s ardour for monarchs … it’s unimaginable, it’s big.”
So why all this concern a couple of single butterfly species? Pelton laughed just a little wearily. “If it wasn’t a bug, folks wouldn’t demand a function,” or a motive to care, she mentioned.
Monarchs are usually not superior pollinators, like native bees, and their numbers have declined to this point that few animals depend on them as their main meals supply, Pelton mentioned. The truth is, most birds keep away from them due to the toxins they retailer of their our bodies from consuming milkweed, their sole meals as caterpillars.
Nonetheless, monarchs are an necessary meals for bugs like spiders, flies and wasps, who are an necessary meals supply for birds, Pelton mentioned. Monarchs are additionally consumed by mice and different rodents (“we had a really damning photograph” of a squirrel in Pacific Grove with a monarch stuffed in its mouth), and even a number of birds who’ve found that some monarchs have decrease ranges of poisonous compounds than others. “The smarter species can determine it out by tasting and rejecting some monarchs,” she mentioned.
When looking for butterflies, you need to watch the place you stroll. Right here, a monarch rests on the bottom in Malibu.
(Mel Melcon/Los Angeles Occasions)
However in the end, caring about monarchs is a “canary-in-the-coal-mine subject,” Pelton mentioned.
Like miners who take delicate canaries underground to alert them if the air goes dangerous, the decline of monarchs is indicative of the demise of all bugs, she mentioned. Most birds depend on bugs to feed their younger, she mentioned, and as our insect inhabitants declines, “we’re wanting on the potential lack of complete chook species.”
There are cultural issues too, she mentioned, as a result of the monarchs are so iconic, in all probability probably the most recognizable of North American butterflies.
After which there’s the still-unsolved thriller of how and why monarchs migrate within the first place. The Western monarchs’ migration isn’t so far as their Jap, additionally dwindling cousins, who fly by the thousands and thousands from jap Canada and america to overwinter within the southern Mexican state of Michoacán, west of Mexico Metropolis.
These migration patterns are distinctive to monarchs and developed over thousands and thousands of years, she mentioned. “If we lose the monarchs, it might be on our watch and that might be an enormous disgrace,” as a result of scientists would lose the prospect to know that habits … and who is aware of what we might uncover as soon as that thriller is unraveled?
These questions nag at Rachman too. That is his first 12 months as a monarch butterfly counter, and he takes his duties very critically. He’s a graduate scholar at Cal State Northridge, often tromping by means of the Santa Monica Mountains on the lookout for native coast stay oaks which are lifeless or dying and scouring them for clues about what could have harmed them, similar to tiny bark beetles or sustained drought.
His ability at remark and enthusiasm for science introduced him to the eye of the folks operating the monarch depend. After they requested him to be the L.A. County depend coordinator, he hesitated. “I mentioned, ‘I may give it a shot, however I don’t actually examine monarchs, so I don’t know far more than most individuals.’” After which, scientist that he’s, Rachman dove into studying no matter he might in regards to the butterflies and their endangered state.
Final 12 months, Los Angeles County didn’t actually have a depend coordinator. Fewer than 100 monarchs have been present in 25 recognized overwintering websites across the county, so each cluster his volunteers discover this 12 months creates a brand new surge of pleasure. To date, they’ve counted about 4,240 monarchs within the county, and Rachman has been monitoring down rumors about different websites the place monarchs have been noticed in years previous.
However the hunt is difficult. Monarchs, after they’re heat sufficient, depart their branches to seek for water and nectar flowers close by, Rachman mentioned, however they often return to the identical website at evening. They often select wintering websites on pine or eucalyptus bushes which are close to contemporary water, he mentioned, which is why it’s necessary to keep up these small coastal groves and the swimming pools of water that feed them. That’s additionally why monarch researchers encourage folks to develop crops with winter blooming nectar flowers to assist the adults discover meals.
Typically Rachman learns of previous overwintering websites he can’t get into as a result of the land is personal and gated, or worse, the bushes that when hosted the butterflies have been eliminated. Different instances, it’s only a matter of logistics. The workers at one coastal museum wouldn’t allow him on the property till 9 a.m, “which was method too late,” he mentioned. “And so they additionally wished me to pay for parking! I mentioned, ‘Are you kidding me? I’m a scientist, I’m not excited by viewing your artwork.’ That was simply scandalous.”
A part of Rachman’s duties embody on the lookout for lifeless monarchs too.
Richard Rachman, the Los Angeles County coordinator for the Western Monarch Thanksgiving Depend, holds a handful of lifeless butterflies that he discovered. Scientists need to examine the carcasses, which provide perception into the ecological internet.
(Mel Melcon/Los Angeles Occasions)
He searches the bottom close to the counting websites and individually baggage any our bodies he finds to ship to researchers on the Western Monarch Genomics Venture, who’re finding out the genetics of lifeless monarchs present in three areas of California — the San Francisco space, Monterey Bay and the Los Angeles Basin. It’s not required of counters, however when Rachman realized of the examine, he eagerly signed on.
This morning, as his companions gape on the fluttering clusters on the branches, he begins scouring the bottom underneath the bushes. He finds a number of immobile our bodies nearly totally camouflaged towards the soil and gently pokes one, figuring it’s lifeless. As a substitute, the butterfly opens it wings and unsteadily takes flight, touchdown a number of ft away in full solar, flexing its wings as if attempting to limber them up.
Out of the blue, the group realizes there are dozens of napping butterflies on the bottom, so many that everybody begins taking mincing steps away from the bushes, terrified of treading on the endangered bugs we’ve come all this technique to catalog. As they heat up and begin shifting their wings, Rachman is cheerful. He doesn’t have to gather any butterfly our bodies right here.
That state of affairs modifications on the subsequent cease in Venice, on the Penmar Golf Course. There we discover about 250 monarchs clumped collectively on excessive pine branches close to the doorway. As golfers observe their putts, Rachman spots a trio of Cassin’s kingbirds perched on the prime of a tall sycamore tree. It’s nearly 8:30 a.m. now, and the monarchs are starting to fly within the warming air. He watches because the kingbirds all of the sudden dart from their perch, snatch a butterfly from the sky and return to the treetop to gobble it down.
Oh no! A Cassin’s kingbird makes an attempt to eat a Monarch butterfly — earlier than spitting out a mangled carcass.
(Mel Melcon / Los Angeles Occasions)
Or strive to gobble it down.
As a substitute, the birds appear to chomp on the butterflies, mashing them of their beaks earlier than letting them fall to the bottom. “They should be younger,” Rachman mentioned of the birds. “I don’t know why they’re attempting to eat them; they’ll solely throw up.” However the birds don’t appear deterred. They dart out time and again to seize and maul one other monarch. Rachman watches shocked, after which takes off operating to the underside of the tree.
He’s realized all of the sudden that this remark is a discover, one price recording as a result of kingbirds don’t often go after monarchs. In spite of everything, the milkweed that the monarchs eat when they’re nonetheless caterpillars makes most birds vomit. He speculates that possibly it’s been so lengthy since monarchs have overwintered right here that these younger birds haven’t realized to keep away from them. Or possibly the birds are simply sampling the bugs to see if any are palatable.
Underneath the tree, Rachman shortly spots seven, no, eight, no 9 lifeless monarchs. A number of have mangled our bodies, others have their wings or heads torn off, as if the birds have been looking for some edible half. This discover is so sudden that Rachman had left his baggage in his automobile, so he cradles their our bodies in his fingers as he walks gingerly to his automobile, drawing puzzled stares from golfers close to the doorway.
Rachman is gloomy for the murdered butterflies however exuberant about witnessing one thing so uncommon, which he might have simply missed if he hadn’t turned to look.
That is why monarchs are so fascinating, he says, as a result of there’s a lot nonetheless to study their behaviors and predators.
And there’s additionally simply the sheer magic of their existence, even for a scientist like himself.
“To stroll into these woodlands, when it’s so chilly you possibly can see your breath, and discover bushes coated with monarchs … I say, ‘dripping with monarchs’ … it simply feels awe-inspiring,” he mentioned. “It’s actually spectacular.”
That magic and thriller is a big a part of why monarchs are so iconic, Pelton mentioned. “However actually, all our butterflies and native bees need assistance.”
Habitat destruction and large-scale pesticide and herbicide are largely in charge for the demise of many bugs, together with the monarchs, Pelton mentioned, however most people can assist by lowering private pesticide use and attempting to rebuild habitat in private gardens.
“That is the place the general public can undoubtedly play a task,” she mentioned, “by supporting all bugs and their meals webs.”
(Ross Might / Los Angeles Occasions; Getty Photographs)
Right here’s how one can assist monarch butterflies
We are able to all take small, straightforward steps to assist the enduring insect. Listed here are a number of:
Plant native milkweed
Monarch caterpillars dine solely on milkweed, however native milkweed is the one form to develop, scientists say. Tropical milkweed, the orange-flowered nonnative selection lengthy favored by nurseries and landscapers, is creating issues for the monarch inhabitants. The explanations are sophisticated, but it surely’s largely as a result of, not like native varieties, it doesn’t die again within the winter in gentle climes. That causes issues on two fronts, specialists say. It gives meals for monarch caterpillars year-round, which appears to discourage migration and disrupt the breeding cycle. Worse, that very same year-round life cycle for the plant permits a protozoan parasite often known as OE (Ophryocystis elektroscirrha) to multiply and infect caterpillars as they eat. Scientists suspect that the parasite is weakening the grownup monarch inhabitants, creating issues in migration and replica. If you happen to’re already rising tropical milkweed, the Monarch Joint Enterprise venture recommends reducing it to the bottom a number of instances throughout the winter, to kill the parasites, or take away the plant altogether in favor of native milkweed. The most effective plan of action for gardeners and plant lovers is to seek the advice of the California Native Plant Society’s Calscape database to plant milkweed that’s native to your area — similar to narrow-leaf milkweed (Asclepias fascicularis) and showy milkweed (Asclepias speciosa) — which develop in most components of Southern California. Additionally notice that native milkweed is often dormant this time of 12 months, so that you gained’t have the ability to purchase crops till late spring or early summer season. And eventually, scientists warn towards planting milkweed if you happen to stay inside 5 miles of coastal overwintering websites north of Santa Barbara, or inside one mile of the websites south of Santa Barbara. These have been by no means areas the place milkweed grew traditionally, and scientists concern planting milkweed too near overwintering websites could have an effect on monarch migration and overwintering habits. (We informed you it was sophisticated.) Nonetheless, if you happen to’re critical about serving to monarchs, looking for out the suitable native milkweed is well worth the problem. When the crops begin hitting cabinets this spring, we advise buying at nurseries that know their native crops (see beneath). And also you don’t want a giant, fancy backyard — even a pot of native milkweed on a entrance porch, or a patio, could make a distinction.
Use crops with out pesticides
That is trickier than it sounds, as a result of aphids like to congregate on milkweed, and patrons are often turned off by buggy crops at a nursery. Some nonorganic wholesalers use systemic pesticides to maintain aphids and different unattractive bugs off their younger crops, however the caterpillars who eat these crops additionally get sick and/or die, Pelton mentioned. Your choices are to attempt to develop native milkweed from seed — see directions at monarchwatch.org — or be sure the nursery you purchase from is promoting crops which are pesticide-free. Native plant nurseries are likely to develop organically, but it surely’s at all times a good suggestion to ask before you purchase. For a deeper dive into rising milkweed, learn the Xerces Society’s on-line “Milkweeds—A Conservation Practitioner’s Information.”
Browse native plant nurseries
Many retail nurseries have a local plant part, however if you happen to’re critical about creating habitat in your backyard area, it’s instructive to go to nurseries dedicated to native crops, such because the Theodore Payne Basis in Solar Valley, Tree of Life Nursery in San Juan Capistrano, Hahamongna Native Plant Nursery in Pasadena, California Botanic Backyard’s Develop Native Nursery in Claremont and Artemisia Nursery within the El Sereno space of northeast Los Angeles. Moosa Creek Nursery in Valley Heart sells native crops on-line, which house gardeners can choose up at collaborating nurseries.
Plant nectar-producing flowers
Monarch caterpillars solely eat milkweed, however as soon as they sprout their wings, grownup monarchs feed on every kind of nectar-producing flowers, mentioned Pelton. “They’re not choosy as adults, however native crops are typically good as a result of they profit different animals as effectively.” The Xerces Society has an inventory of native crops which are engaging to monarchs. Attempt planting various kinds of flowers, so you’ve blooms all year long. Consultants particularly suggest rising winter-blooming nectar flowers in coastal areas the place grownup monarchs could also be overwintering, similar to California lilacs (Ceanothus), manzanita, blue dicks (Dichelostemma capitatum) and seaside daisies (Erigeron glaucus).
Get entangled
The Monarch Joint Enterprise web site — monarchjointventure.org — has an inventory of how you possibly can assist monarchs past planting milkweed. As an illustration, you possibly can foyer elected native, state and federal officers about preserving overwintering websites, volunteer to be a counter throughout subsequent winter’s monarch depend or gather knowledge as a neighborhood scientist. One other helpful useful resource: the Xerces Society’s Western Monarch Name to Motion.
However don’t increase monarchs
Many individuals have began elevating monarchs to attempt to protect the species, however scientists imagine the observe is doing extra hurt than good, mentioned Pelton, as a result of the reared butterflies are sometimes closely diseased and staying in the identical neighborhood year-round, relatively than migrating. This can be a tough downside, as a result of the folks elevating monarchs fiercely imagine they’re defending the butterflies. Their intentions are good, she mentioned, “however there’s a distinction between considering you’re serving to and really serving to.” For starters, elevating monarchs is against the law in California until you’ve a particular scientific assortment allow from the California Division of Fish and Wildlife. “Persons are tremendous obsessed with rearing monarchs, however a few research have regarded on the illness charges [of home-reared monarchs], they usually’re sky-high, with 75% closely contaminated with the OE parasite,” Pelton mentioned. “Because the inhabitants has crashed, we’ve realized extra in regards to the illness switch [from monarchs raised in captivity to wild monarchs] and the way fragile the migration sample is. Florida has a inhabitants of extremely diseased monarchs residing on tropical milkweed, they usually don’t migrate, so it’s a harmful recreation. It’s higher to assist by planting milkweed and nectar flowers and stopping pesticide use.”
—Jeanette Marantos
Times Insider explains who we are and what we do and delivers behind-the-scenes insights into how our journalism comes together.
On a chilly day in December, Jacob Gallagher, a men’s fashion reporter for the Styles desk of The New York Times, is wearing a button-up shirt and black slacks, one of about a dozen pairs he owns. The look is put together, but casual.
His love for style, Mr. Gallagher said in an interview that day, began with tailored suits and Italian shoes. His father, a museum exhibition designer, has worn such a uniform “every day to work for decades,” Mr. Gallagher said.
It was that influence, and Mr. Gallagher’s immersion in skateboarding culture and the hardcore punk scene growing up in Maryland — subcultures in which, he said, image and how you carry yourself is very important — that led him to his beat: analyzing fashion as an expression of political, social and cultural identity.
Mr. Gallagher, 33, joined The Times in October, after nearly a decade covering men’s fashion for The Wall Street Journal. In recent months, he has written about the rise of the sinewy male stars that he calls noodle boys, the symbolism of the black sweatshirts and puffer jackets worn by rebels in Syria, and the cloaks on display in the papal drama “Conclave.”
In an interview, he reflected on how men’s wear has evolved, why he believes scrutinizing style matters, and the fashion advice he would give now to his 20-year-old self. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.
Where do you find your story ideas?
We’ll often look at the news of the day, or what’s occurring in pop culture, and think, “What’s the story off it that we can do that’s style-focused?” I also spend a lot of time talking to retailers, and going to stores to try to figure out what’s selling and what’s not selling.
Had you worked in the fashion industry before you became a journalist?
When I was in college at The New School, I worked at a few mass retailers, and a men’s wear boutique, in New York City. That was a pivotal moment in my life because it instilled in me the importance of understanding how people really shop, the way trends trickle down. I still think about those truisms a lot: If men find the right pair of pants, they will always buy that pair of pants.
Some people think of fashion as fluffy. Why does fashion coverage matter?
Fashion is one of the biggest industries in the world — one of the richest men on earth, Bernard Arnault, runs a luxury conglomerate. After language and beyond how we carry ourselves, what they wear is the first thing people interpret about each other when they interact. There’s so much messaging and self-identity that’s reflected through clothing.
Your beat spans many cultural spheres, including politics, sports and film. Is there one you’re particularly fascinated by?
I love looking at politics, because there’s such a narrow box of what politicians can quote-unquote wear. So any minor change, a different way of appearing, or a different way of dressing, is always going to reverberate and be super interesting to write about.
And I think athletes are the most important people in men’s wear right now. They’re having the most fun, universally, and being the most experimental. You can find every microtrend in existence in tunnel-walk outfits.
They’re definitely taking more risks than I would say most, but certainly not all, actors do. They’re often doing the shopping for themselves, and that is always ripe for coverage. I might be sitting at a show in Paris and thinking, “Oh, that’s wild. Who would ever wear that?” Six months later, it’s on a football or basketball player.
It seems like we’re in something of a golden age for male athlete fashion.
There was a time when people had a very narrow view of what kind of man was into clothes. That, in my experience, has withered.
A lot of people in the fashion industry keep it simple style-wise, like wearing all black. How do you think about dressing?
Certainly I would not wear everything that I cover, nor do I cover everything that I wear. I’m extremely particular about the brands I wear. That’s a form of expression for me. I understand why other fashion reporters sometimes stick to a uniform, but I get a kick out of it.
What fashion advice would you give your 20-year-old self?
Fewer zany pants. I wore patterned pants for too long.
Is there something you wish you would have taken a class on in college?
The ability to comb through documents and legal cases is such an impressive skill. It’s something that I’m still learning. It took me some time to learn how to read an earnings report for a company. That level of investigative work is something I think every reporter is going to have to be skillful at, because our nation is so litigious, and there are fascinating legal wrinkles to almost every story. I definitely speak with more lawyers for reporting purposes than I had ever thought I would.
“Power Rangers” actor Hector David Jr. is cooling his heels behind bars after he pled guilty and was sentenced on Wednesday for assaulting a man in Idaho last year.
Hector, who played the role of the “Green Ranger” in the superhero franchise, pled guilty to misdemeanor battery in a Canyon County Court and was sentenced to 180 days in jail … according to new legal docs.
The judge suspended 135 days of the sentence, meaning he only has to serve 45 days in the clink but will have to keep his nose clean when he gets out to avoid further time behind bars. The judge also placed Hector on 2 years of supervised probation and ordered him to complete 100 hours of community service.
As TMZ first reported in July … Hector got into an argument with an elderly man — who used a walker — over a parking spot in Nampa, Idaho. The situation escalated when authorities say Hector shoved the man to the ground, though he was not seriously injured.
Hector then jumped into his truck and drove off, but cops later identified him with help from the community and a judge issued an arrest warrant for him. Prosecutors eventually charged Hector with battery in late July.
This transcript was created using speech recognition software. While it has been reviewed by human transcribers, it may contain errors. Please review the episode audio before quoting from this transcript and email transcripts@nytimes.com with any questions.
[CHIMES TINKLE]
- archived recording 1
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Love, now and always.
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Did you fall in love last night?
[OVERLAPPING SPEECH]
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Love was stronger than anything you can think of.
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For the love of —
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And I love you more than anything.
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(SINGING) What is love?
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Here’s to love.
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Love.
[MELLOW MUSIC]
From “The New York Times,” I’m Anna Martin. This is “Modern Love.” Each week, we bring you stories inspired by the “Modern Love” column. We talk about love, lust, heartbreak, and all the messiness of relationships. When Clare Cory was a young girl growing up on a farm in Montana, she dreamed about falling in love.
We lived in a single-wide trailer. It was a little bit crowded, so I slept on the couch. And I would often look out the window at the full moon. And it’s very beautiful. And I would watch the moon sail across the sky. And me being the hopeless romantic child that I was, I envisioned that somewhere out there, under that same moon, was the man for me.
Just after she graduated college, Clare got engaged. But then, right before the wedding, her fiancé called it off. After that, she spent years, decades, even, trying to make various relationships work. But none of them did. So eventually, she stopped worrying about it and decided to focus on her career.
After her 50th birthday, she looked back on her life and felt happy.
You think, wow, I’ve come a long way in life, and I still have a long way to go.
That feeling led Clare to write in to the “Modern Love” column, saying she’d finally fallen in love but not with some guy. Instead, it was a love for life itself. She thought maybe her love story was over. But then —
The most improbable, bizarre series of events occurred.
Some of those bizarre events were scary. Her health took a dramatic turn. But some were beautiful beyond anything she could have ever imagined. Today we tell you the rest of Clare’s love story. Stick with us.
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Clare Corey, welcome to “Modern Love.”
Thank you so much. And I really appreciate this opportunity.
So, Clare, we’re here to talk about your love story. There are twists. There are turns. Things do not go as you expect. But I want to start at the beginning. When you were a kid growing up, you dreamed about falling in love. Paint a picture of that for me.
Yeah. So I’m the oldest of seven children, and we grew up on a little farm in Montana. So I remember a lot of thoughts of romance rolling through my brain in those early years. And my sister and I, we were out on our fake horses that we had made out of sticks — our stick horses, basically.
Of course.
And so we both had husbands along for the ride. And mine was Jim, and hers was Steve. And so [LAUGHS]: I just imagined that, one day, I was going to be riding around in a truck with Jim. And we were going to have a happily ever after.
[LAUGHS]: I mean, I know that years later, when you were in your 20s, you did have a brief engagement to a man. His name was not Jim. His name was Roger. But that engagement didn’t work out. Tell me, what did you love about Roger?
Well, Roger was just a ton of fun. He was always laughing, and he was always up for adventure. He was very funny. And we were in very different fields. He’s in engineering, and I was in psychology. But we supported one another through grad school.
And so I thought I felt like we were really good together. We were really solid. I believed that we would grow old together.
Where did that certainty come from?
Good question. Because apparently, I was wrong.
So our wedding was scheduled in May, and we had spent a lot of time preparing for that. And so we had everything lined up. And at the end of March, Roger woke up in the middle of the night. And he said, I can’t do this. I said, what do you mean? You can’t do what?
And he said, well, I can’t get married. I can’t go through with this wedding. And that began a whole lot of, shall we say, painful discussions about why. And I never got a really good answer as to why until a year later, when we actually met in a park.
Because I was going to sell the dress. I actually ended up giving it to somebody. But we met in a park. And I said, do you want to see the dress? And so I pulled the dress out. And he said, oh, my gosh. He said, it’s so beautiful. And he said, do you know what we were missing?
And I was like, no. And he said, we were missing the magic. We didn’t have the magic.
Did you know what he meant when he said we were missing the magic? Did that track for you?
It did. To some degree, yes. I mean, to some degree, I was still trying to understand what had gone wrong. But yeah, I did. Because [LAUGHS]: in between that time, I actually had met Don.
OK, who’s Don? Who’s he?
So I went to a training, and the trainer was a man named Don. And so I remember — I’m a shy person, but I did approach him at the training to ask him a question about something. And we had a brief little conversation. And I didn’t think much of it.
But I thought, oh, wow, that’s a really cool guy. But I think it was — the training was a couple days. And so when the training ended, I remember he said something to me. And he said, hey, do you want to get together for dinner sometime? And we had a lot in common.
We work in similar fields. We just had a very deep connection. And I’ve often said to people that it was the best days of my life.
And what were you thinking as that was happening? Did you feel like those were the best days?
What I thought to myself was, oh, now I understand. This is why the relationship with Roger didn’t work out. Because actually, the real person for me, the real — the man who really was the one for me was still out there, and I just hadn’t met him yet. And so that’s how that romance began, which was a wonderful romance but was also a brief romance.
Can you tell me why it ended? Why did you guys stop being in contact or seeing each other?
It was complicated by a lot of things. He was traveling a lot, and I had my job. And so it ended, basically, by lack of communication and letters. Again, this is in the days before email and cell phones and that kind of thing.
So I remember writing him a letter and saying how hurt that I was. And I, then, was very depressed. [LAUGHS]
Did you try to get back out there, dating-wise, at this time? Or was that not at all a priority?
No, it was not. I was way too brokenhearted to even think about that. And here I thought that I had found the answer to the whole reason why my relationship with Roger hadn’t worked out. And now I really had found a relationship that was magical. And then it ended. And I really felt like, how could this happen to me twice?
These two heartbreaks, relatively close to each other, almost back to back in the grand scheme, did you feel your heart harden? Were you like, that’s it? I’m not doing this anymore. It’s not worth it.
I would say, at that time, no, I was not ready to be done. It took probably another decade or so. And in the intervening years, I did have some men in my life who were truly good men. But the relationships didn’t last. I would say maybe by the time I was in my mid 40s and I really started asking myself, what are you trying to do here?
Looking back, I can see that my life shifted tracks at that time from a future that was about creating marriage and a family and a home to my being more of a career person, focused on my career and not so much a relationship.
Hmm. What were some of the things you were telling yourself that made you OK with this new version of your future, this version where you wouldn’t find someone? How did it become all right?
[LAUGHS]: Well, because I had to ask myself, what are you missing in your life? I have a lot of good things in my life, and my life is going along very well. And yeah, I had this empty spot in my heart or this empty place in my heart where I felt like a relationship would fill it up.
But I thought, is something really missing in your life? And as I started looking around, I thought, I’m very content with where I am and who I am. And no, there’s really nothing missing at all. And it felt like I had been beating my head against a wall for years, trying to figure out how to make this relationship thing happen.
And at some point, you think, wait a minute. Why are you beating your head all the time? You know? Is this really worth it? And what are you missing when you’re not beating your head? And well, you’re missing living. You’re missing life itself.
Did you ever feel lonely, though?
No.
Really? Really?
Yeah. I’ve never felt lonely. And maybe that’s because I have a lot of siblings and friends and things. No, I did not feel lonely. Did I miss having a romantic partner in my life? Yes.
Huh.
And I just want to be clear that this was not an easy process. Everything I let go of has claw marks all over it. So I can say that this idea of a fulfilling, romantic relationship had claw marks all over it. It was clawed to pieces before I could let go of it, yeah. So yeah.
And when you did let this claw-marked thing go, was it liberating?
Yeah, absolutely. And I realized that there is a freedom in that and that I did feel liberated. Because I’m like, hey, I don’t need to be looking for anybody. But it was hard to put hope back in the basket and shut the basket.
Hope.
Hope of having a romance. Hope of having that fulfilling relationship that I’d always dreamed of. And I just stuffed it in the basket and shut the lid. But every now and again, hope, it just keeps coming. And it would stick its head out of the basket and be waving at me. I’m like, get back in there. Shut that thing.
When you hit this coming to terms with being single for the rest of your life, putting hope in the basket for the rest of your life, this hope for a romantic partner, did you take a look back on your life at that point and assess it? And if so, what did you see?
Well, I remember the year that I turned 50 was also the first time I ever traveled to Europe. And my brother and his wife were living in Germany, and my mom and I went to Europe. And that was a dream that I’d always had. And I remember thinking that my life was very full.
Things were good, and I was looking forward to a future that seemed wide open with possibility, not the possibility, necessarily — because again, hope is — you know, stay in the basket, hope, all right — but a future of continuing to work. And someday, I was going to retire. And what was I going to do then?
And I had goals for myself — pay off my house, those kinds of things. 50 was a beautiful time.
And then just after you turned 52, you found out you have a rare type of breast cancer.
Yes.
What was that moment like for you?
Well, it changes your life forever. There’s no doubt about it. It’s the most aggressive form of breast cancer. It’s called inflammatory breast cancer. And so I knew then that my life was contracting. And what happened was my life went from looking a decade or more ahead to looking a day at a time.
[MELLOW ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
Clare, when you got this diagnosis, what did that change for you?
It’s really interesting because I learned a lot about myself. You really don’t know how you’ll react until those situations happen. So I said a couple things to myself. Well, I’m just going to keep working until I can’t anymore. And I’m going to keep exercising until I can’t anymore. And I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing until I can’t anymore.
So they scheduled chemo in such a way that your down days would be on the weekend. So I was able to continue working. And I’d go to chemo, and go to work, and then come down on the weekend. And by Sunday afternoon, I was coming back up.
I mean, you’re saying all of this like it’s just a routine. You know, I’m doing this, I’m doing that. But there had to be hard parts of this.
Oh, yeah. There are hard parts of it. Inflammatory breast cancer is a beast. It’s a challenge. And I will say this. Inflammatory breast cancer, your breast enlarges. The cancer turns the breast purple. It was hard as a rock. I could feel it turning hard.
It’s ugly. And you have to walk around with it every single day. And so you start to realize that today is all that you’ve got. And if today is all that I’ve got, then I damn well better make this a good day because I’m not giving up what I got right now.
And so what happened is that I realized that I had fallen in love with life itself. And I remember the day that I found out that I had progressed to stage IV, I came home. And I opened the door to my house, and I looked around at all my possessions. And I thought, wow, somebody’s going to have to come in and give all of these things away.
And so I started to look around at all the things that I was going to miss. And I thought, wow, I’m really going to miss that sunrise. I’m going to miss that sunset. I’m going to miss my colleagues at work. I’m going to miss my nieces and nephews growing up. That’s still a real hard one for me.
I’m going to miss just these everyday moments of where you’re talking a walk and there’s a beautiful flower or you run into somebody. Just so many things like that. I had a friend who was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer, and she’s passed away now. But she said to me, if I could turn back time and change this, I wouldn’t.
She said, it’s given me too much. And I’m crying and crying and saying, how can you say that? I’m sure I’ll never feel that way. But if I could turn back time, I wouldn’t change it. It’s given me too much. It’s given me an appreciation for life. I got out of the hospital in September.
And for various reasons, they hadn’t let me take a shower. And, oh, my god, I came home. I jumped in the shower. I was able to get in my car and drive my car to work. And I thought, this is one of the best days of my life, you know? And I am showered.
Shower and a commute, mm.
Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah. And so it’s not like I don’t get frustrated or upset or sad about things. Because I do. But I’ve become more at peace with knowing that my life will end. But that also gives me the freedom to know how much I love this life and how much I love being alive. And I’m willing to fight for it with all I got because I just — I love it so much.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
When we come back, Clare’s life takes a totally unexpected turn towards romance. Stay with us.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
[MELLOW MUSIC]
Clare, all through your 30s and 40s, you were hoping you’d fall in love. And then in your 50s, you’re facing terminal cancer. And it sounds like you did find love, just not how you expected. You found this love for life. And I feel like I can see the headline now. It’s like, Woman Falls in Love with Life, which would be a beautiful end to your story — except it’s not the end to your story, right?
Yes, that is correct. So my heart was completely full, I want to say that. Because I have found a love for life. But at the most unexpected time in my life, when I don’t feel good about my body and I cannot imagine that anybody is going to find me attractive, certainly as a romantic partner, suddenly and very unexpectedly, I did find romance again. And it happened to be Don.
It happened to be a guy we’ve heard about before, Don. Remind us who Don is to you.
So Don was a person that I had a relationship with 27 years ago.
And I was completely heartbroken when it ended. But I had gone on and made my peace with that.
Moved on, yeah.
Yeah. And I’m a kind of person who always stays friends with people. And so we work in similar fields, and we were in one another’s orbit, but we didn’t talk very much, maybe a couple times a year. I do remember I called him when I found out that I had cancer and let him know.
Hmm. So when did Don come back into the picture? Like, how long after your diagnosis? Also, I just want to note for the listeners out there that every time I say his name, you smile in this beautiful way that lights you up. And it’s lighting me up too. How long after your diagnosis did he re-enter your life?
Well, it was one year ago. And by this time, I’m well into a stage IV situation, stage IV metastatic breast cancer. And so that’s not exactly the kind of thing you put on your dating profile, you know?
Might be a little tough, yeah.
What had happened was he was going to be in Phoenix for a conference. And he said, oh, well, jeez, we ought to get together for dinner. I haven’t seen him for a long time. And so we did. And we had a nice little dinner, whatever. And when I said goodbye to him, I honestly thought to myself, I’ll probably never see him again.
I think that this is it. But then this really weird thing happened. And it is kind of a little bit embarrassing. But so my employer was having the employee Christmas party. And I have gone alone to every single employee event for years. And so I thought, you know what, I want to go with somebody that I would enjoy going with. And I’m just — I would like to just go once to the employee Christmas party with somebody. And I remember I was driving to work, and it popped into my head to ask him to go with me. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Because he doesn’t even live in the same state.
But it just kept bugging me and bugging me. And so I have to say that I felt like a high school girl at the Sadie Hawkins dance or whatever, when you call and you ask the guy to go with you. And so I called him up. And I said, you know, I’ve always wanted to go to the Christmas party with somebody, and would you go with me? And it’s in a few weeks.
And he said, yeah, sure.
And we had this great time.
Was it everything you’d hoped for?
[LAUGHS]: I like a lot of glitter and sparkle, and you get a lot of that on Christmas. And our employee Christmas party was held at this really lovely hotel. And it was full of all the lights and all the sparkle. And I just — I don’t know. I’m just a fan of that kind of thing.
And so it was just really fun to go with him, and to be in this beautiful place, and to have this experience. And the next day, we met up for breakfast. And so he starts saying to me he’s been having — he’s older than I am, and he’d been having a few health issues of his own.
And he said, I think I’m going to be moving. And I said, oh. And he mentioned a few possible places, and Arizona was one of them. And I said, well, why would you want to go anywhere else? And I was kind of joking with him. Well, about a month, six weeks later, I hear, well, I’m going to move to Arizona.
How did you react when you got that news? That’s kind of, like, great news.
Yeah. Well, I was shocked. I was completely shocked because I wasn’t sure he was really serious. I said, well, look, I’ll help you look for a place, and I’m here for you. And so he rented a house, and he wasn’t here yet. And he said, look, could you go pick up the keys for me?
And I said, oh, yeah, I’ll do that. And then I got this idea. And I said, do you know what? I should get him a few things for when he gets here —
That is so sweet. [LAUGHS]
— so that — you know, when you move in and you don’t have anything, right?
But, Clare, you got a lot going on. You got a lot going on. You have your full-time job. You have your treatment. You have your own health. It means something that you saw this empty house and you were like, you know what, amidst my full schedule, I think I’m going to go out and buy him a blender or whatever you got him, you know?
Well, it was kind of like that. And my cousin has said to me since, oh, yeah, going to fix up a guy’s house before he moves in, yeah, you think that’s just platonic, right? But it did come to pass that I was putting up a shower curtain in his vacant bathroom on Valentine’s Day.
No way! [LAUGHS]
And he wasn’t in town. And I said to myself, how crazy is this? And so — but that is exactly what happened.
It’s clear you and Don are reconnecting in a friendship way. When did you start — when did it start to become romantic? Was there a time you can point to where you were like, oh, there’s more here than just two old friends coming back into each other’s lives?
Well, ironically, it was about a week or two after my story was published, which is about being single. But we got this idea to go to this — it’s called the Butterfly Wonderland, I think, is what it’s called. But we went. And it is actually — it’s just such a lovely place. And there’s just butterflies everywhere, and it’s beautiful.
There’s flowers and greenery. It’s a very lush place compared to everywhere else in Arizona. And I felt this energy start to shift. And I’m saying to myself, what is happening here? What is going on? There is something happening. Now I felt like there was a door starting to open and I wasn’t going to be able to shut it.
And perhaps the old me would have said, I’m not walking through that because of all the complications and the messiness of it. Because it was going to be messy. Truthfully, we’re both in probably the final seasons of our life. Because he is older than I am, and, of course, I have stage IV cancer. And so the door opened, and I felt like I had to walk through it.
When you say you felt the energy shift, there was a door opening, did you have what we call a define-the-relationship conversation? Did you turn to him on that bench and say, clearly, something’s happening, we should talk about it?
Well, I wish I could say I was that mature.
But apparently, I’m not.
This stuff never gets any easier.
And so, no, we didn’t. Yeah. And no, I’m still in high school. So we didn’t have a conversation on the bench, no. But I felt it and I knew it. But later, within a day or two, we did. And I said, [LAUGHS]: well, let’s just see if we can make it 90 days.
So he keeps joking with me that we keep saying, OK, 90 more days and 90 more days. I said, well, what if we’re not speaking to each other in 90 days? So he said, well, let’s just give it a go and see what happens.
Do you guys eat dinner together most nights?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, we do.
Is he cooking for you?
Yeah. And I’m kind of ashamed to say that I’ve never cooked for him once. But no, he’s been cooking a lot, yeah.
What does Don make you?
Oh, I love his sloppy joes.
Yum.
[LAUGHS]: And then kielbasa and sauerkraut. I can’t help it.
I’m coming over.
I’m Polish, you know? So yeah. So those are my two favorites that he makes. And then he makes me breakfast and peeling oranges for me and things like that. I can’t explain it. I don’t know how this happened.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
Right after we got back together, in June, I already had an existing appointment to go to the mortuary and make my funeral arrangements.
Oh, my gosh.
And so we had barely gotten back together. And I said, well, I’ve got an appointment in the mortuary.
No.
Do you want to come with me?
Mortuary date.
Yeah. So pretty much our first, quote, “date” was going to the mortuary.
Tell me that he also took you to dinner or something, it wasn’t just mortuary dates. Tell me that you also went to a nice Italian restaurant.
Oh, yeah, well, we — in fact, yes.
OK. [LAUGHS]
My sisters are like, only you. That’s just the way that you would roll, yeah.
I mean, I’m thinking about how this was an appointment that you had on the books. You had made this appointment when you were single and handling the stuff yourself. And the thing I really look up to is it’s you’re kind of telling him, this is my life. I was already doing these things.
You are welcome to come along for the ride, basically. And the thing that I find remarkable from his end is he’s like, yeah, I’m there.
And that’s one of the things that — we had about six good weeks [LAUGHS]: of things being relatively normal. And then it all crashed, and I got really sick with the flu. And the next thing, I was in the hospital, and the cancer has progressed. And I’m looking really bad on paper.
And he was staying in the hospital with me and sleeping in a chair, and that bothered me. I’m like, no, I don’t want you sleeping in a chair. But my sister came from out of town. And then I said to him, go home and sleep in your own bed for one night. Because by now, he’d been at the hospital with me for probably four or five nights.
So he went home. And that was the day that the results of my brain MRI came back. And my sister, we were out walking in the garden at the hospital. And she said, your MRI came back. And I saw from the look on her face. And she said, yeah, you’ve got a lesion in your brain.
And that was the last thing that I wanted to hear. I felt like I could deal with anything but brain metastasis. And I said, well, what does Don say? Because I kind of figured she had told him already. And we were standing and looking out the window. I remember the elevator door opened, and there he was.
He came back.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
You did so much work in this middle part of your life to move on from your desire to have a romantic partner. And now you have that. You have Don. You have a romantic partner. I just want to know, what does it feel like to open back up that possibility and to let it be fulfilled? What does that feel like?
Well, on the one hand, it’s kind of scary because you’re opening your heart again. But I also think that it’s not worth it to walk around with a closed heart.
It’s hard to overstate the importance of that feeling of safety and belonging that I think that we all look for and that I’d probably been looking for for so much of my life.
And to find that, it’s a little bit of like you’re swirling around on a merry-go-round, going, what just happened here? It’s hard to get your head around too. My life is very different than it was eight months ago, a year ago. It’s very different because it’s a whole different way of — than I’ve been used to living.
And we’re not living together, but we spend a heck a lot of time together. And I honestly thought — we had this joke that I would be smothered if he was around too much. And so he kept asking me, do you need some alone time? Do you need some alone time?
So, much to my utter shock and surprise, I have found that I really — I’m OK with him being here or me being at his place or whatever. I got to tell you, I’m a little surprised at how much I’ve enjoyed it. The other night I said, well, I just would have come home and forgotten to eat.
And he’s like, no, no, we have to make dinner.
He’s like, I’m making you sloppy joes, and you are eating them.
Yeah. But it’s just been a real joy, I think, to share with somebody the ups and downs. And just to share in life with somebody, it’s way more fun than I actually thought. [LAUGHS]
You know, a big part of — for most couples, a big part of starting a relationship or being in the early stages of a relationship, like you and Don are, is talking about the future and all the time that you’re going to spend with them. What about you and Don? Do you talk about the future?
You know, right now, I’m responding to treatment, and things are going well. That can change very quickly. I’m very aware of that. I hope it doesn’t, but it could. And certainly, he’s not a young person, and his own health could change very quickly. But the truth is that we don’t know what kind of future we have, if any.
And so I find that I’m not very troubled about who’s taking out the trash kind of thing. It’s not like we’re building a relationship to last through decades because we’re not likely to have decades. And so, really, it’s about today.
Was there a recent moment where the two of you were together and you thought, oh, this is the magic? Like, this is what it is.
Yeah, well, I’d say there’s quite a lot of those moments. And maybe they’re not the ones that you’d expect. But we’ve seen some beautiful sunsets together and watched the moon rise, which was just beautiful, watching a full moon rise. And then I think about — I want to have more time for more conversations and more time to do this.
And it’s nice to do, I guess, what I call normal couples things together, yeah, which is a very new experience for me. Yeah.
I am going to assume that when you were first diagnosed and you started thinking about your own death, that looked a certain way to you. And then you meet Don. And over the past few months, as things have grown and deepened as much as they have, that picture of your passing must look a little different.
And I want to know, has it changed for you? And if so, how?
I consider myself realistically optimistic. And so I’m optimistic, and I will take every single treatment that they offer me. I will do everything. But I’m also realistic. And so I know that the day may come when there are no more treatments available and that I will have to gracefully — I hope I can gracefully accept that at that time.
And I’ve said I hope the gods will be kind to me as I leave this world. I also feel that I don’t want to let anybody down, my family in particular and now Don, frankly, by dying. And I feel like, oh, jeez, I’m going to put them through a lot. And so I do talk to him about it. And he says, I’m in it with you, and I’ll be there regardless.
One of the things that I’ve said to myself since I was first diagnosed with cancer — literally the first week — well, there’s millions of other women who have been faced with breast cancer. And if they got through it, I can do it too. There’s millions of other women who have had chemo. If they got through it, I can do it too. Or surgeries, radiation.
There are many women living with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. If they’re doing it, I can do it too. And what’s also true is that there are many, many women who have died from stage IV metastatic breast cancer. And if they did it, well, I can do it too. And I just hope that I can do it gracefully. And I hope that — well, jeez, I really hope that I won’t disappoint anybody and let anybody down. Because I really do want to keep living.
Clare, I do think it speaks to the kind of person you are that when we’re talking about your own mortality, the first thing that comes to mind for you is other people. It’s the people that you love. And I just want to say, I think Don is very lucky to count himself in that group of people who you love.
When you wrote in to “Modern Love,” it was actually before you and Don had reconnected. And I think it might have a different feeling now that we know what happened after you wrote it. So I wonder if you could read it for us.
I will happily read it, yeah. Yeah. Who knew what was coming after this? [LAUGHS]
[GENTLE MUSIC]
“Finally Finding ‘The Magic.’ Since childhood, I yearned for love. Once, I came within weeks of marriage before it abruptly fell apart. He said we were missing ‘the magic,’ and, admittedly, he was right.
A few men came and went. I’m now 59 with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. I still don’t have a partner, but I’ve fallen desperately in love with life. Exquisite beauty emerges everywhere — my cat on my lap, a cashier extending an unexpected smile, sunlight skipping across a lake. I use each day to soak up the world’s splendor. ‘Not yet,’ I whisper to the heavens. ‘I love it here.’”
Oh. There’s such a new depth to it after our conversation. I mean, it’s just remarkable. There’s so much. I understand the context and the history and, also, the chapter that comes after it, which you did not know when this was published. It’s just remarkable.
Yes.
Clare Cory, thank you so much for this conversation. I’m really, really grateful.
Well, I am as well. It’s a delight to speak with you.
[THEME MUSIC]
This episode of “Modern Love” was produced by Amy Pearl and Davis Land. It was edited by our executive producer, Jen Poyant. Production management by Christina Djossa. The “Modern Love” theme music is by Dan Powell.
Original music by Pat McCusker, Dan Powell, Rowan Niemisto, and Marion Lozano. This episode was mixed by Daniel Ramirez with studio support from Maddy Masiello and Nick Pitman. Special thanks to Mahima Chablani, Nell Gallogly, Jeffrey Miranda, and Paula Szuchman.
The “Modern Love” column is edited by Daniel Jones. Miya Lee is the editor of “Modern Love” projects. If you want to submit an essay or a Tiny Love Story to “The New York Times,” we’ve got the instructions in our show notes. I’m Anna Martin. Thanks for listening.
[THEME MUSIC]
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